Heading out this morning, I saw my first sign of fall with the leaves turning yellow and brown. It’s a bit confusing, therefore, that in the late afternoon, we can hear the buzz of cicadas, which is a sure sign that summer is still here. Yet the mornings are starting to cool and are in stark contrast to the daily highs that were in the 100s just a week or two ago. Up in Flagstaff, Arizona, they saw snow a week ago, and in Montana just yesterday, they had 4 feet of snow or 122 centimeters of the freezing stuff.

The summer is fading fast with the passing of the equinox as autumn starts to make itself known. Somehow, this is reflected in my headspace as I’ve been taking a pause from writing and playing with making music. I shouldn’t be too surprised by my creative desert as my modus operandi has typically been one of intense focus at the expense of all else. With my current diet and weight loss urgency, I’ve had all of my senses tuned to working on extending the summer of my life instead of giving into the fall.

Being consumed by novel tasks is one of the drugs that have always consumed me, but here, at this later stage of life, I see the imperative to work towards the habituation of healthy practices. Hopefully, the old maxim about being better late than never can still be realized by this man of oft bad habits. Trying to find a balance, I have to remember not to neglect my attempts at practicing the creativity I’m able to express, as losing that would be as dire as losing a limb.

Maybe it was the yellowing leaves on the sidewalk acting as a reminder of time passing that inspired me to jot down some thoughts today. Or maybe there’s a quiet urgency within me that’s afraid of allowing the creative embers to go cold. So, I force myself to write as a method of throwing kindling into the mind so the fire might roar back to life. Whatever it was, I cannot sit idly by as fall portends winter and that season is a forlorn space with a pallor that threatens to chill the sparks I need to stay warm.

For the foreseeable future, my diet must follow some strict guidelines. I cannot wake and sit down at my computer; I must go outside and walk a mile to wake my muscles and excite my cells. I should be aware of sleeping a proper amount, not eating too much, reconcile that fasting should be part of my routine, and finally accept that the American healthcare system is not here to keep me healthy but instead deal with me once I’m a lucrative body in need of desperate repair.

Nobody in the healthcare profession has informed me about fasting. As a matter of fact, I’ve been told I can nearly eat what I want, though in moderation. I would like to get a continuous blood glucose monitoring system, but there’s no certainty that my insurance will cover it. The luxury of knowing just how food is affecting me at any given moment is incredibly valuable for me and would help me regulate my diet. Meanwhile, the traditional glucose test strips are a cash cow for manufacturers, hence why you see on street corners across from pharmacies people ready to buy diabetes treatment supplies from those who would rather sell them and buy other necessities instead of monitoring their disease.

Lunch in a restaurant is nearly impossible unless I find a list of places that have high-protein or Keto options on the menu. Dinner is a dilemma as no matter where we go; the portions are too large for my wife and me. Here in our 50’s the caloric count of a meal is far too often too high. Should we decide to share a meal, we face the disapproving glare of the server, who believes they just saw their tip reduced by the cheap old people, which is only made worse if we don’t order alcohol. If the look of disdain were all, we’d deal with that, but seeing the adjacent table have four server visits for our single one lets us know quite clearly that we are in the bad seats.

One upside to having the amount of free time I currently have is that I can afford to make a lot of our food at home. This offers us access to incredibly healthy dishes such as the super yummy chicken feet bone broth I recently cooked up. I can take a mile walk before breakfast and then a two-mile walk afterward. Before or after lunch, I can head out for another mile or two, and then after dinner, I’ll try for two more miles. I have time to research viable options for treating diabetes, though without doctors sharing what’s at the cutting edge, I don’t always know what to look for. We can afford books, supplements, doctor appointments, gadgets, foods, and experiments to learn what works to treat my diabetes, which I doubt many can.

So, while there are pros and cons, I at least have options. I’m growing increasingly frustrated that our version of laissez-faire capitalism is perfectly fine with allowing people to become profit centers. This is only possible in a population that is largely under-educated not only about diet but also the long-term implications of the abuse they are suffering due to their own ignorance from industries interested in profits at all costs instead of the general welfare of a country. I think about this in terms of a time such as World War II when the population was supposed to make sacrifices for the betterment of the entire earth, and yet today, corporations are allowed to practice a kind of fascistic exploitation of people for the enrichment of an elite class.

To return to my story, on September 24th, eight days after the phone call that told me my A1C had jumped to 9.5% and that I’d gained 6 pounds since I was last weighed at my doctor’s office, I had to see my doctor. I had been told initially that I was coming in to learn about going on insulin, but that’s not what happened.

I stepped on the scale and was hoping I’d lost a few pounds. Instead, the person taking my stats was as surprised as I was that I’d lost 10 pounds in 8 days. Then I showed my doctor that my glucose level for the past five days was averaging 119, down from around 240 a week before. She reminded me that it was what I maintained over 90 days that mattered but agreed that I didn’t need a change in medications as long as I could maintain my change in behavior. She also saw the importance of me being able to constantly watch my glucose levels and wrote a prescription for a FreeStyle Libre Constant Glucose Monitor though there’s great uncertainty if my insurance will authorize its use.

I’m seriously astonished by my progress, incredulous even. I feel that my motivation for success has been amplified and that the next 22 days, while they’ll certainly be difficult at times and tedious to the point of boredom, will let me see the potential results behind my efforts. I’ll continue to do my best to keep my caloric intake under 1,400 calories, I’ll set my Fitbit minimum goal to 15,000 steps (about 7 miles), and I’ll do a full 24-hour fast once a week and at least one 18/6 fast per week. The 18/6 fast is where one fasts for 18 hours and then eats during 6, so let’s say I eat dinner on Thursday night, I won’t eat again until lunch on Friday, and then dinner before 6:00 p.m.

If I’m below 220 pounds over the next few weeks, I’ll consider this a huge win, and I have no reason to doubt that I can get there. While it has taken me three years to fully integrate the lifestyle changes I’m living with, I feel that quality of life is worth every bit of sacrifice. I only wish I had known all this 40 years ago when I first embarked on a daily food indulgence and abuse regimen attacking the future of my well-being.

It was Sunday when I started writing this blog entry, as I wanted to capture some thoughts about my progress. Friday saw my effort at fasting that technically started the evening before when I finished dinner at 6:30 on Thursday. I made it exactly 24 hours before eating again at 6:30 Friday night. This was, in so many ways, a magic day as I woke with a blood glucose level of 160, but by midday and then for the rest of Friday, my blood glucose never went over 120. Keep in mind that this was just seven days after my doctor’s appointment when my 2-hour-after-lunch reading was 239.

In my Wednesday entry, I noted that I was adding a fasting day, but over the course of the next few days, I was learning a ton about the current theories and amazing results that are coming out of the work of Dr. Jason Fung and Dr. Valter Longo. Dr. Fung is a proponent of fasting, and he seems particularly fond of intermittent fasting, now known as IF. Dr. Longo, on the other hand, has been exploring the Fasting Mimicking Diet, of which he is the pioneer. It’s incredible how far my knowledge has grown about the health benefits of allowing the body to do what used to be a normal process, that is, allowing it to go hungry.

What’s important here is that the day after my fast, my blood glucose after eating breakfast was 96; after lunch was 103, and after dinner was an astonishing 89. Mind you, my restricted caloric intake was just under 1,200 calories for the day, with only 23 grams of carbohydrates finding their way in.

Another big win for me this week after learning my diabetes was running out of control was about the health benefits of bone broth. I was looking for tips about fasting when I came across a video titled “Bulletproof Bone Broth: Quick Recipe for After Fasting” by Thomas DeLauer. The rabbit hole opened, and while this bone broth sounded intriguing, I wanted to know more, and that brought me to Dr. Kaayla Daniel and a video titled “Bone Broth and Health: A Look at the Science.” Cell health and anti-inflammation are topics the diabetic should be aware of, and this got me curious enough to head to Whole Foods for some marrow bones to start a pot of bone broth.

While I’ve been counting calories this week, I’ve come to learn that this is frowned upon in some circles and appears to be mostly irrelevant. I needed to count them, though, as a bit of side knowledge while monitoring amounts, which was something I didn’t do back when I was first diagnosed with diabetes. Back then, I was content (not really, but…) to quit products made with flour, sugar, potatoes, and white rice. Then, by splitting meals with my wife and not paying attention to much of anything else, my diabetes started to come under control fast. Being creatures of habit, like I said in my blog post a couple of days ago, I let some of the glucose offenders back into my routine. Seeing the relationship between portion size and calories gave me a better idea about the amount of food I can reasonably eat, remain energized, and hope to pull my glucose level down rapidly. It worked.

So now I’m here trying to sift through a ton of information regarding the continuation of eating healthier, fasting, and wondering why the healthcare and food industries are apparently reluctant to push the 100 million Americans with pre-and full-on type 2 diabetes to start a serious examination of alternatives rather than taking the path of maximum suffering. I can assure you that after witnessing 40 years of fad diets come and go, I’m skeptical of this fasting, calorie reduction, carbohydrate reduction, and exercise regimen. While it seems reasonable to eat healthy meals and less of them, I’ve been conditioned, like so many other Americans, to the idea of prosperity through abundance and happiness through gluttony.

I’m not writing this for anybody else but myself because someday I might need to remind myself where my mind was when I was rational enough to know how to deal with this horrible affliction and, if need be, to Google “Diabetic Gangrene” for images that remind me of what I’m trying to avoid while doing my best to maintain the ability to get out and enjoy life and my time with my wife.

Insulin resistance sucks. Refined carbs and sugars suck, too, at this stage of my life. I’ve written here before that my diabetes was under control after making drastic changes to my diet and exercise. Earlier this year, I had an episode where I noticed some high glucose readings, but on a follow-up visit with my doctor and the requisite blood work, I learned my A1C or 90-day average reading of blood glucose level was still in the acceptable range where I didn’t require insulin.

So, knowing how much I’d reintegrated certain foods back into my diet, I pushed things further this summer and made the huge mistake of not checking my blood sugar, not even once a week. Back at my doctor last week and new blood work analyzed, I came to learn this Monday that I’ve skyrocketed my A1C up over 9%. I was diagnosed a few years ago with an 11.3% A1C, so with numbers below 7% being in the normal range, I was halfway back to the incredibly ugly level that shook me and forced a dramatic lifestyle change.

I’m well aware of what works to combat my diabetes and must admit that the convenience of ignoring things will not afford me a free pass in escaping the clutches of this horrible disease. So, an even more drastic approach is needed, so I might finally put this behind me.

My plan went into effect the minute I got my results. I launched into walking. Going out to eat is not going to happen, at least for the next month. Yanking flour, potatoes, rice, and sugar from my diet after my initial diagnosis was sufficient to help me lose weight and drop my blood sugar. This time, my approach is to continue to eliminate those violators of my health but to also drop my caloric intake to roughly 1,300 calories a day. I’m upping my step count from 10,000 a day to a minimum of 15,000 a day. Finally, I’m adding one fasting day a week.

I have less than 40 pounds to lose to get me under 200, and I’m confident that I will get there in the next 18 to 24 months. Okay, that’s my realistic guesstimate, but my gut is screaming at me to make it faster, as dealing with the complications that could arise from my diabetes is a nagging dagger. Complacency is comfortable in ways, but I thus become my own worst enemy, and I’m loathe to let diabetes destroy me.

For the past 50 years, we’ve been at battle with ourselves. Following the post-World War II boom leading into the 1960s, America was experiencing its first enlightenment before it put on the brakes to examine what had happened. Out of the civil rights, women’s rights, gay rights, environmental, and hippy movements, there came a trigger that apparently alienated those who were riding the wealth catapult and had the ruling class recoil at the social changes that came with these structural changes to society. So, a type of war was silently declared against the rising intellect of the masses.

A large part of society would start being nudged toward mediocrity starting in the early 1970s, and there was little clue as to just how many were on their way to being on the losing end of financial advancement. At the same time, those who were benefiting from the emergent global economy continued to benefit right up through today. With the upper class and their wealth came creeping avarice and maybe fear that the populace would learn of the imbalance. Promoting fear among the masses instead of spreading a vision of the future worked: people cowered, afraid they might lose the little they had. Sadly, the growing majority is now nearly powerless to change this equation as they cannot fathom the complexity of tools that have been used against them.  All that’s left for the powerful is to lift these masses onto the shoulders of nationalism, rewarding them through patriotism for their loyalty to jargon and jingoism, and finally pushing the lemmings off the cliff of civil war.

Let’s rewind the clock about 700 years to the 14th century when a class of royalty relied on and exploited the uneducated masses in Europe while fighting endless wars at the expense of the survivors of endless plagues. Then, in the early 15th century, the Renaissance kicked into high gear, and then moveable type and the printing press forever changed the distribution of knowledge. Those advancements would need to simmer for another 300 years before the Enlightenment would take hold. Now, after 250 years of progress, we find ourselves replete with all of the tools, capital, and ability to take a quantum leap forward in intellectual and planetary stewardship, but we are flailing about like infants.

Leadership is not fulfilling its role, as greed and fear are rife throughout society. On one hand, you have those afraid of losing their privilege and having to face change, while on the other side, a vast majority do not know how to deal with change either, so we are doing nothing. I suppose this requires me to point out that America hasn’t failed to introduce great change upon the entirety of humanity, but a lot of what has been introduced has been delivered by a relatively small percentage of our population and, in many ways, has bypassed the majority of our population who should be reaping the rewards of progress.