This is a bumpy process because we keep finding reasons to go out. I’m not complaining as I realize that those who moved from normal to lockdown in a night must see some incredible disruption when they find those simple things they need have all of a sudden moved beyond reach. This morning, Caroline ran into an issue with her company notebook that insisted on performing an update, rendering the computer unable to connect to her office. Her work analyzing medical billing claims for fraud comes with strict HIPAA restrictions and a ton of security; not being able to log in means not being able to work. Off we went to drop her at the office while my business partner and I decided to use the opportunity to get coffee at a local shop that, up until a week ago, had no parking and no seating available; it was so busy. Today, we sat outside while gloved baristas, after wiping down touch surfaces between orders and even changing gloves between customers, were obviously trying to do the right thing to alleviate anybody’s worry about the virus, as much as that’s possible in these circumstances and the place hardly had 15 customers.

Getting home, I went for something from the freezer and saw that some things were sweating as though the freezer was malfunctioning; definitely not the right time for it to bail out on us. I turned it up and vacuumed everything from the underside that I could get to and from the rear, including the fan and compressor. My fingers are crossed. My worry stems from the situation that things seem very fluid where we live as management is sending out near-daily missives about using facilities, packages that won’t be accepted at the front office, and limits to when maintenance will enter an apartment, meaning the issue must be an emergency.

The news of the day feels heavy and grim. The larger pattern portends a great struggle for society to maintain its bearings when so many people are handicapped by anger issues and disadvantages after America’s 40-year experiment of cultivating mediocrity. The stress that surrounds many of the issues we are facing is being exacerbated by poor decisions from the top of our government, or so it seems to me. On the one hand, by taking a glacial approach to shutting down society, the fires of immediate panic may be beaten back, but the ambiguity of how the individual without savings and job security will fare is causing empathy within me and raises my anxiety similar to when I see someone on the precipice of a great height, which triggers my vertigo.

Dishes, lots of dishes all of a sudden, as we take all of our meals at home. For dessert tonight, I’m feasting on the incredible cool news about this Facebook group that already has 6,000 members sharing open-source designs for making ventilators, respirators, and equipment that can be fabricated in emergency conditions on 3D printers. America has a serious shortage of those life-saving devices, and this effort outside of the insurance and medical industry is one of the first seriously amazing bits of great news I’ve seen in a week.

There was other good news as I read about the four volunteers in Seattle who received an experimental vaccine for COVID-19. Brave people.

Meanwhile, across the street from where we live, a guy has set up shop selling toilet paper from the back of a truck. This was today, during which I also covered 18,000 steps or 8.35 miles (13.5km) and 116 minutes of activity.

It was a bit longer than two weeks ago that I wrote about N95 respirators being nearly sold out along with some foodstuffs, and then a few days after that, I noted that hand sanitizer was mostly gone from the shelves. On that day, America had its first COVID-19-related death, and now, just 12 days later, we are at 31 deaths.

The speed at which we people respond or choose not to respond appears to play a large role in how quickly systems that support and maintain pandemics are able to deal with the rapid onset of overwhelming logistics. Northern Italy is warning people within their country and trying to message others that the seriousness of the situation cannot be understated and that with just 10,000 reported cases, their healthcare system is at the breaking point.

Angela Merkel today said that up to 70% of the German public could be infected if steps are not taken to limit exposure to the virus. If Italy is reeling from their cases now, what kind of environment would they struggle through if, even stretched out over the next two years, they were to face something like 42 million sick Italians and just 1% of those people required hospitalization? The system would be in total collapse. With only about 1,000 people hospitalized of the 10,000 infected in the Lombardy region, the system is out of beds and is trying to transfer patients to other areas. How would any health care system deal with 420,000 COVID-19 patients needing hospital treatment, even over a two-year period, when in 6 weeks Italy went from reporting its first case to a countrywide quarantine?

Since sitting down to write this entry, I’ve cringed at the three sneezes people have let off near me. Every time someone coughs, my head whip pans to see if the person covered their mouth. I can’t look at tables, silverware, glasses, gas pump handles, number pads on credit card processing equipment, or shopping carts without seeing these surfaces as germ-infected opportunities to acquire COVID-19. I want to see past this and not be affected by my sense of evolving panic, but the lack of initiative in America to deal with this head-on has not instilled confidence in my quickly devolving behaviors.

For days now, I’ve considered backing away from social contacts as I’m becoming neurotic watching those around me. I’ve taken to traveling with hand sanitizer, and I have wet wipes in the car so I can disinfect surfaces, but this is not always convenient or remembered, so I contribute to my ever-growing fear. I know I need to start this process of social distancing, but damn, it’s hard to self-enforce that when most people around you are going on with all things appearing to be normal.

I’m telling myself that with this post, I have to back away from my visits to coffee shops, restaurants, and other public gathering places until we know more details about how people and society are dealing with this force of doom. Am I being hysterical? I feel like it, but then it feels like an issue of semantics that I cannot explain the difference between hysterics and being proactive. As I look around me and feel that I should tell those people I’ve become familiar with at my regular coffee shop hangout, I’m feeling ambivalent about how others will perceive me in my paranoia.

#StayTheFuckHome

I’m positing that personal economic vulnerability is at the heart of America’s desire for an apocalypse. We joke about a zombie apocalypse, and during the reign of Trump, people bandy about ideas of civil war as an inevitable outcome if their president is removed from office, but at the heart of American life for the past twenty-some years is a generalized wish that the entire system should somehow collapse. Why?

Housing costs, credit ratings, job insecurity, and lack of a safety net if someone gets sick, are contributing to our hopes and dreams that something should break with such ferocity that the playing field is reset. Many people voice how they have the mettle to survive true hardship and if it were to come to a gunfight, they are ready to go all out. This is not rational. On the battlefield of the job market, if you are not in demand and earning over $100,000 a year, your entire sense of stability is hinged on variables that if any of the dominos topple, the person might see the crumbling of not only their dignity but the roof over their head, the food they hope to eat, their relationships, and their health. With a blotch on their credit rating, they may not be able to rebuild the house of cards. With this kind of instability and lacking the intellectual skills to compete, it’s better to hope for a street brawl where a person can lay claim to what they need through sheer force. Isn’t this the mentality we already see among gang members?

Capitalism and the gross imbalance of how wealth is distributed in America have created a toxic economy and mindset where millions of people seek redemption and greater participation through the demise of civility. They perceive that a breakdown in the social order will allow them to rise above as they prove to others their value through strength and fortitude. The current environment where people are being victimized by the ever-increasing cost of housing, which is one of the three basic necessities of life, plays a large part in the economic chessboard where your home is a move away from checkmate.

We have allowed capitalism to devolve to a point where many people feel insecure trying to participate in an economic model based on debt and the resultant relative servitude. There is no security when someone feels trapped and in potential danger. Fear then becomes exploitable, allowing those holding the purse strings to exercise the tools that force people to bow their heads and hope nobody hears them complain. Surround the most economically vulnerable with the threat of imminent violence coming from crime, the migrant horde, or the unseen viral plague, and you have the recipe to keep the bottom 50% of a population captured on a hamster wheel where stepping off would be economic and cultural suicide.

We are no longer a community or cohesive nation; we are the consumer body prodded along to deplete inventories with perfectly timed marketing. We are like a shopping bacteria under threat of a Black Friday antibiotic that will extinguish any hope of learning who we might have otherwise been.

How are the signs of this expressed? First, I should admit that my filter is a biased interpretation of randomly ambiguous signals. I feel that it is most often witnessed in toxic masculinity, where guns, cars, tattoos, piercings, attitudes, and a potential for violence all segue into a person with something to prove in appearance, and they might argue substance, but the intellectual underpinnings are often missing. This is not a rule or a universal and I certainly know of many exceptions to this ugly and gross generalization. The differentiation is easiest for me to demonstrate by the example of who stands behind strength as a bulwark of an all-encompassing totality and those who integrate it as an effective part of their character and a small aspect of a persona.

Mastering hunting and killing skills in order to brag about them. Lifting trucks and employing massive tires that never see dirt but elevate the driver above others. Wearing a pistol on one’s hip in public to show dominance. Projecting allegiance to a group via specialized clothing that acts as de facto uniforms, such as those used by motorcycle gangs, veterans, political ideologues, and many sports fans, are all symbols that transform these people into the conformist lifestyle/brand dolts afraid to be themselves. To a large extent, I do not find these behaviors among women, but among the overly masculine and lesser-educated, I am willing to make the preposterous supposition that these behaviors are cover for the person’s own awareness of their intellectual shortcomings.

Maybe that 1-4% of Neanderthal DNA we inherited is fighting to come out and express itself? Should the troglodytes win, the irony will be that everything they covet will disappear in the flash it will take to return humanity to the pre-stone age era of living in caves or simple huts where they’ll hone their hunter-gatherer skills and celebrate having killed off thinking.

Anybody who might be wondering why America seems to be taking such a passive approach to dealing with COVID-19 need not look further than simple economics.

We know that this flavor of coronavirus is especially dangerous for the elderly and those suffering from chronic illness. We also know that people with chronic illnesses are an especially huge drain on medical resources. Combine those facts with the idea that Millennials and Generation Z are barely holding their own, and you have a recipe to fix a lot of problems with one easy exercise of neglect.

Don’t deal with the pandemic, and the pandemic will likely deliver just what the system needs. I’ll explain. If this virus has its sights set on the old and the Boomers are sitting on 56% of the nation’s wealth, representing about $36 trillion in assets, by accelerating their demise, that money will move out of fixed assets, becoming liquid and allowing the younger generations to not only pay off their student loans but to have money for consumption that they’ve never experienced – thus propelling the American economy.

If, in short order, there were suddenly millions of young people carving up large inheritances that Bernie wanted to tax for his socialist ideas, these now-wealthy people would kick Bernie to the curb. I believe Donald sees this, and for the long-term economic stability of America, it’s better to sacrifice those who’ve already lived full lives and are now becoming drains on our economy. Personally, I tend to think it was Putin who shared this brilliant idea with Trump and how to be the leader for life or maybe guarantee his children a legacy of Trumpian leadership from now through 2050.

So, wake up, Boomers, you are about to be sacrificed on the pyre of progress so your assets can be liquidated and your home sold on the cheap. With the promise of a fat inheritance, your lazy offspring will head off for lavish vacations full of Instagram happiness, taking the entire global market to new heights. And what do we as a nation lose in this equation? Well, it’s not like the majority of Boomers are working now that they’ve reached retirement age.

The paradise of eliminating significant medicare costs, reducing social security obligations, and the rapid evolution of media that would no longer support Judge Judy, Fox News, big fat gas-guzzling cars, and climate deniers would have radical impacts on all facets of life.

COVID-19 is your panacea. As a matter of fact, I’m trademarking PANACEA-19™ right now.

#SARCASM!

Image from https://faq.ssa.gov/en-US/

Wow has the conversation around me changed about COVID-19 as I am recognizing the vulnerability America, in particular, is facing. Without a fully accessible health care system and the lack of savings for an economic shock, we are especially vulnerable to bad decision-making when those who can ill afford to be off work and quarantined at home will say they have a cold or allergies instead of incurring the cost of viral tests and losing income. How we’ll deal with children younger than ten years old at home alone will present another hardship that could force a parent to skip work or, possibly worse, someone will use the opportunity to earn extra money by watching neighborhood children, thus potentially exposing even more people to infection.

The stock market lost 3,583 points this week, toilet paper in Hawaii is being rationed, Costco is sold out of emergency food supplies, and I learned that this morning, hand sanitizer is mostly sold out across America. In the last 15 minutes, I read that someone in Washington died from COVID-19, which will only startle the population even more.

It was only one week ago that 28 countries were reporting infections within their borders; three days ago, it was 48 countries, and today it is 60. To think that it was just 28 days ago, on February 1st when China was reporting its 259th death, and now we are over 2,900 fatalities globally. But that’s not enough perspective: it was only back on January 11th that the first death was reported, then on the 17th, the second death occurred, followed on the 20th with the third death. It was five weeks ago, on January 23, that the World Health Organization or WHO reassured the people of our planet that Coronavirus had not spread outside of China.

So in 35 days, the COVID-19 epidemic went from about 23 deaths to 2,942 and from 1 country to 60, and yet to listen to the president of the United States, the danger is a hoax being perpetuated for political gain. Hey, you big orange dolt, it was just 18 days ago that there were only 1,000 people dead from the virus and 42,638 people infected, while today there are 86,020 who have been infected and 2,942 DEATHS! China no longer plays any role in this equation as this has become a global issue outside a country that was able to halt all activity that could have made the situation worse while our leadership is more worried about the stock market.

There’s a certain amount of futility in posting any of this as the data is changing so fast that this will feel like ancient news, but I suppose for the continuity of my blog at this pivotal moment in human health and where much of the world’s attention is focused it doesn’t hurt to note where we are.