Self-Isolation Day 1

Clouds over Phoenix, Arizona

That breakfast we skipped yesterday took us out of our isolation nest this morning as we got out early to ensure there was nearly no one else in the place. Being regulars, we know that customers don’t really start showing up until about 7:00, and we knew we’d be gone well before that. We tipped one of our favorite servers the equivalent of about six weeks’ worth of tips in cash so she’d have access to it right away instead of having to wait for payday. We told her we hoped to see her in a couple of weeks, but who knows? Before we left, she let us know that as a single mom with three kids earning about $18,000 a year and being notified a week ago that she was being audited by the IRS, which would delay her refund by six weeks to six months, she’s in a serious pinch right now. Our generosity brought her to the edge of tears.

Oh, how I’d like to share that we went directly home after this outing so we could get serious about planting ourselves, but of course, there were “just” a few other things I wanted. You may ask, seriously, John, were those raw pumpkin seeds really that important? I have this perfect balance of things in my head for making that granola I wrote about yesterday, and while I maybe could have substituted hemp hearts, I thought if we arrived at the store early enough, we could top up our pumpkin seed supply. You know that movie World War Z with Brad Pitt, where the zombies are trying to scale the wall? That’s almost what the scene at our local Winco was, as they opened the doors at 7:00. We were pulling into the lot as a horde swarmed into the store in about 4 seconds. So, while I knew what just happened, the parking lot wasn’t so full that I thought the store was overwhelmed yet, so we went in. No pumpkin seeds in the bulk section, so we grabbed some additional oranges, limes, lemons, tomatoes, avocadoes, and nail polish and remover so we could paint each other’s toes.

So we stayed home after that, right? Of course not. Caroline was helping a friend empty a storage unit and move its contents to another unit down the street. We left early so we could visit our local Balkan Bakery on Bell Road for some kefir and left with a beef burek and a chunk of some mystery smoked meat that is supposed to add a nice flavor to beans. With the wife getting a ride home from her friend, I was once again heading to isolation.

On my way home finally, it dawned on me that yesterday we had wanted to stop at the Euro Market on Cave Creek Road for kefir, but we already have some. What’s one more, especially if I dump the goat kefir that Caroline hasn’t been enjoying anyway? In this shop and seeing some interesting large white beans, I scoured the joint for some kvas but the lady didn’t even know what the stuff was. I know; I’ll try Misha’s on Union Hills. They don’t carry it anymore as they’ve changed their market focus by becoming Misha’s Kosher Food Market, but Misha recommended I visit his brother’s shop on 32nd Street called Yasha From Russia. Not wanting to leave Misha’s empty-handed I picked up some kosher stuffed peppers, stuffed cabbage, smoked sprats, and roasted eggplant in tomato.

At Yasha’s, I’m kind of tripping out by the Russian hipster guys with undercuts, seriously tight red pants, and tight red shirts talking Russian to me; maybe they think that by carrying a bottle of Kvas I’m some kind of Gopnik in the making. I try to tell them it’s for my wife, but they then ask if she’s Russian, “No, she’s German, but she’s serious about transforming into a Gopnitsa after watching too much Life of Boris.” They have no idea what I’m talking about. With that, I went home and arrived just after Caroline did.

We made it nearly an hour at home before it was time to go for a walk around the block. For the past few days, I’ve not been cleaning up the path of our walk as I had been since November 1st, as our 5-gallon bucket has been full of rainwater we collected while things were torrential here recently. The bucket of water has now been depleted after Caroline drenched her cactus and other plants. Over these previous four and a half months I’ve picked up something around about 1,000 pounds of trash. Lately, though, I’m seeing an abundance of wet wipes and tissues as people wipe down their COVID-infected surfaces and then toss the contaminated shit out of their windows.

The neighborhood is back in sanitary equilibrium, except for the constant dogshit that blights our walk. So it goes. Time to make granola. An hour later, my almond, walnut, pumpkin seed, sunflower seed, flaxseed, oat groat, and oatmeal granola is mixed with eucalyptus honey, coconut oil, homemade vanilla extract and put into the dehydrator for the next two days.

On to making dinner, though by this time, I’m ready to go out and maybe get some Mexican food. Who am I kidding I’ll certainly not be heading into a restaurant during their busiest part of the day, but some Mexican food sounds really good right now. After dinner, you might guess that we will be out for our next 1-mile walk around the block, which will take us both over 6 miles for the day.

While I toil in the kitchen, Caroline doesn’t sit idly by; she’s been working on her sewing machine to finally make our new pillowcases. Last November, while in Oregon, we picked up some seaside-themed cloth, and now we’ll be sleeping on those so we can dream of one of our favorite places on earth. Our step and activity goals were similar to yesterday’s, with us clocking up just over 15,000 steps or just over 7 miles (11.4km) and 105 minutes of activity.

So this has been the blow-by-blow rundown of the majority of our day. Like clouds, we just keep moving.

Social Distancing

My writing setup on the day I try to do the social distancing thing

It was a bit longer than two weeks ago that I wrote about N95 respirators being nearly sold out along with some foodstuffs, and then a few days after that, I noted that hand sanitizer was mostly gone from the shelves. On that day, America had its first COVID-19-related death, and now, just 12 days later, we are at 31 deaths.

The speed at which we people respond or choose not to respond appears to play a large role in how quickly systems that support and maintain pandemics are able to deal with the rapid onset of overwhelming logistics. Northern Italy is warning people within their country and trying to message others that the seriousness of the situation cannot be understated and that with just 10,000 reported cases, their healthcare system is at the breaking point.

Angela Merkel today said that up to 70% of the German public could be infected if steps are not taken to limit exposure to the virus. If Italy is reeling from their cases now, what kind of environment would they struggle through if, even stretched out over the next two years, they were to face something like 42 million sick Italians and just 1% of those people required hospitalization? The system would be in total collapse. With only about 1,000 people hospitalized of the 10,000 infected in the Lombardy region, the system is out of beds and is trying to transfer patients to other areas. How would any health care system deal with 420,000 COVID-19 patients needing hospital treatment, even over a two-year period, when in 6 weeks Italy went from reporting its first case to a countrywide quarantine?

Since sitting down to write this entry, I’ve cringed at the three sneezes people have let off near me. Every time someone coughs, my head whip pans to see if the person covered their mouth. I can’t look at tables, silverware, glasses, gas pump handles, number pads on credit card processing equipment, or shopping carts without seeing these surfaces as germ-infected opportunities to acquire COVID-19. I want to see past this and not be affected by my sense of evolving panic, but the lack of initiative in America to deal with this head-on has not instilled confidence in my quickly devolving behaviors.

For days now, I’ve considered backing away from social contacts as I’m becoming neurotic watching those around me. I’ve taken to traveling with hand sanitizer, and I have wet wipes in the car so I can disinfect surfaces, but this is not always convenient or remembered, so I contribute to my ever-growing fear. I know I need to start this process of social distancing, but damn, it’s hard to self-enforce that when most people around you are going on with all things appearing to be normal.

I’m telling myself that with this post, I have to back away from my visits to coffee shops, restaurants, and other public gathering places until we know more details about how people and society are dealing with this force of doom. Am I being hysterical? I feel like it, but then it feels like an issue of semantics that I cannot explain the difference between hysterics and being proactive. As I look around me and feel that I should tell those people I’ve become familiar with at my regular coffee shop hangout, I’m feeling ambivalent about how others will perceive me in my paranoia.

#StayTheFuckHome

Why We Wish For Apocalypse

Somewhere in Los Angeles, California circa 1982

I’m positing that personal economic vulnerability is at the heart of America’s desire for an apocalypse. We joke about a zombie apocalypse, and during the reign of Trump, people bandy about ideas of civil war as an inevitable outcome if their president is removed from office, but at the heart of American life for the past twenty-some years is a generalized wish that the entire system should somehow collapse. Why?

Housing costs, credit ratings, job insecurity, and lack of a safety net if someone gets sick, are contributing to our hopes and dreams that something should break with such ferocity that the playing field is reset. Many people voice how they have the mettle to survive true hardship and if it were to come to a gunfight, they are ready to go all out. This is not rational. On the battlefield of the job market, if you are not in demand and earning over $100,000 a year, your entire sense of stability is hinged on variables that if any of the dominos topple, the person might see the crumbling of not only their dignity but the roof over their head, the food they hope to eat, their relationships, and their health. With a blotch on their credit rating, they may not be able to rebuild the house of cards. With this kind of instability and lacking the intellectual skills to compete, it’s better to hope for a street brawl where a person can lay claim to what they need through sheer force. Isn’t this the mentality we already see among gang members?

Capitalism and the gross imbalance of how wealth is distributed in America have created a toxic economy and mindset where millions of people seek redemption and greater participation through the demise of civility. They perceive that a breakdown in the social order will allow them to rise above as they prove to others their value through strength and fortitude. The current environment where people are being victimized by the ever-increasing cost of housing, which is one of the three basic necessities of life, plays a large part in the economic chessboard where your home is a move away from checkmate.

We have allowed capitalism to devolve to a point where many people feel insecure trying to participate in an economic model based on debt and the resultant relative servitude. There is no security when someone feels trapped and in potential danger. Fear then becomes exploitable, allowing those holding the purse strings to exercise the tools that force people to bow their heads and hope nobody hears them complain. Surround the most economically vulnerable with the threat of imminent violence coming from crime, the migrant horde, or the unseen viral plague, and you have the recipe to keep the bottom 50% of a population captured on a hamster wheel where stepping off would be economic and cultural suicide.

We are no longer a community or cohesive nation; we are the consumer body prodded along to deplete inventories with perfectly timed marketing. We are like a shopping bacteria under threat of a Black Friday antibiotic that will extinguish any hope of learning who we might have otherwise been.

How are the signs of this expressed? First, I should admit that my filter is a biased interpretation of randomly ambiguous signals. I feel that it is most often witnessed in toxic masculinity, where guns, cars, tattoos, piercings, attitudes, and a potential for violence all segue into a person with something to prove in appearance, and they might argue substance, but the intellectual underpinnings are often missing. This is not a rule or a universal and I certainly know of many exceptions to this ugly and gross generalization. The differentiation is easiest for me to demonstrate by the example of who stands behind strength as a bulwark of an all-encompassing totality and those who integrate it as an effective part of their character and a small aspect of a persona.

Mastering hunting and killing skills in order to brag about them. Lifting trucks and employing massive tires that never see dirt but elevate the driver above others. Wearing a pistol on one’s hip in public to show dominance. Projecting allegiance to a group via specialized clothing that acts as de facto uniforms, such as those used by motorcycle gangs, veterans, political ideologues, and many sports fans, are all symbols that transform these people into the conformist lifestyle/brand dolts afraid to be themselves. To a large extent, I do not find these behaviors among women, but among the overly masculine and lesser-educated, I am willing to make the preposterous supposition that these behaviors are cover for the person’s own awareness of their intellectual shortcomings.

Maybe that 1-4% of Neanderthal DNA we inherited is fighting to come out and express itself? Should the troglodytes win, the irony will be that everything they covet will disappear in the flash it will take to return humanity to the pre-stone age era of living in caves or simple huts where they’ll hone their hunter-gatherer skills and celebrate having killed off thinking.

Goodbye Boomers

Anybody who might be wondering why America seems to be taking such a passive approach to dealing with COVID-19 need not look further than simple economics.

We know that this flavor of coronavirus is especially dangerous for the elderly and those suffering from chronic illness. We also know that people with chronic illnesses are an especially huge drain on medical resources. Combine those facts with the idea that Millennials and Generation Z are barely holding their own, and you have a recipe to fix a lot of problems with one easy exercise of neglect.

Don’t deal with the pandemic, and the pandemic will likely deliver just what the system needs. I’ll explain. If this virus has its sights set on the old and the Boomers are sitting on 56% of the nation’s wealth, representing about $36 trillion in assets, by accelerating their demise, that money will move out of fixed assets, becoming liquid and allowing the younger generations to not only pay off their student loans but to have money for consumption that they’ve never experienced – thus propelling the American economy.

If, in short order, there were suddenly millions of young people carving up large inheritances that Bernie wanted to tax for his socialist ideas, these now-wealthy people would kick Bernie to the curb. I believe Donald sees this, and for the long-term economic stability of America, it’s better to sacrifice those who’ve already lived full lives and are now becoming drains on our economy. Personally, I tend to think it was Putin who shared this brilliant idea with Trump and how to be the leader for life or maybe guarantee his children a legacy of Trumpian leadership from now through 2050.

So, wake up, Boomers, you are about to be sacrificed on the pyre of progress so your assets can be liquidated and your home sold on the cheap. With the promise of a fat inheritance, your lazy offspring will head off for lavish vacations full of Instagram happiness, taking the entire global market to new heights. And what do we as a nation lose in this equation? Well, it’s not like the majority of Boomers are working now that they’ve reached retirement age.

The paradise of eliminating significant medicare costs, reducing social security obligations, and the rapid evolution of media that would no longer support Judge Judy, Fox News, big fat gas-guzzling cars, and climate deniers would have radical impacts on all facets of life.

COVID-19 is your panacea. As a matter of fact, I’m trademarking PANACEA-19™ right now.

#SARCASM!

Image from https://faq.ssa.gov/en-US/

The Panic To Get Out Of Harms Way

Hand Sanitizer

Wow has the conversation around me changed about COVID-19 as I am recognizing the vulnerability America, in particular, is facing. Without a fully accessible health care system and the lack of savings for an economic shock, we are especially vulnerable to bad decision-making when those who can ill afford to be off work and quarantined at home will say they have a cold or allergies instead of incurring the cost of viral tests and losing income. How we’ll deal with children younger than ten years old at home alone will present another hardship that could force a parent to skip work or, possibly worse, someone will use the opportunity to earn extra money by watching neighborhood children, thus potentially exposing even more people to infection.

The stock market lost 3,583 points this week, toilet paper in Hawaii is being rationed, Costco is sold out of emergency food supplies, and I learned that this morning, hand sanitizer is mostly sold out across America. In the last 15 minutes, I read that someone in Washington died from COVID-19, which will only startle the population even more.

It was only one week ago that 28 countries were reporting infections within their borders; three days ago, it was 48 countries, and today it is 60. To think that it was just 28 days ago, on February 1st when China was reporting its 259th death, and now we are over 2,900 fatalities globally. But that’s not enough perspective: it was only back on January 11th that the first death was reported, then on the 17th, the second death occurred, followed on the 20th with the third death. It was five weeks ago, on January 23, that the World Health Organization or WHO reassured the people of our planet that Coronavirus had not spread outside of China.

So in 35 days, the COVID-19 epidemic went from about 23 deaths to 2,942 and from 1 country to 60, and yet to listen to the president of the United States, the danger is a hoax being perpetuated for political gain. Hey, you big orange dolt, it was just 18 days ago that there were only 1,000 people dead from the virus and 42,638 people infected, while today there are 86,020 who have been infected and 2,942 DEATHS! China no longer plays any role in this equation as this has become a global issue outside a country that was able to halt all activity that could have made the situation worse while our leadership is more worried about the stock market.

There’s a certain amount of futility in posting any of this as the data is changing so fast that this will feel like ancient news, but I suppose for the continuity of my blog at this pivotal moment in human health and where much of the world’s attention is focused it doesn’t hurt to note where we are.

COVID-19 Tsunami

No Masks

Since March 11, 2011, I’ve watched every Japanese tsunami video I could see and many I’ve watched more than once. Besides being awed by the sheer power of the waves as they swept in, clearing the land of nearly everything upon it, I scoured the corners of the footage, often seeing drivers in cars hoping for an escape or people who were about to be caught up in the rushing water.

A telltale voice accompanied almost every video with either a bell or siren sound that became indicative that a tsunami was about to happen. The calm warning voice would continue while the mayhem of a town being washed away played out to the people in disbelief who had perched themselves on surrounding hillsides. Some of the survivors, though, weren’t so fortunate to heed the early warning and instead scrambled to the top of heavy concrete buildings that weathered the beast rising out of the ocean. Then there were those who, in their cars, homes, on bikes, and walking, likely succumbed to a liquid grave.

What I took from watching countless hours of this stuff is that there are three types of people in an emergency that could have fatal consequences for at least one and maybe two of them. First are those who are quick to react and might be called alarmists; they heard that there might be a tsunami, and they ran for the hills without hesitation, and they lived. Next up were those people who were pretty sure nothing was going to happen but measured their situation and were able to respond before the rushing water overtook them; to an extent, they survived. Third were those certain that everyone else was overreacting, and so they dug in and scoffed at those running around; they died.

Survival was what was at stake, but the far away earthquake was something that occurred in another dimension, so to speak. If you’d never experienced a tsunami before, but you knew earthquakes, why should today be the dramatic shift in reality that warranted panic?

COVID-19 is the earthquake that happened in Wuhan, China and maybe Iran, Italy, Japan, and South Korea are the first signs that something is amiss. During the tsunami in Japan and the one in the Indian Ocean back in 2004, the tide going out was the first clue that a tsunami was on its way, but people didn’t know how to read that. Without an early warning system, those in harm’s way remained oblivious to the approaching freight train.

Irrational panic comes to my mind, too, when I think of reacting to a virus that, in all likelihood, doesn’t have my name on it. I don’t want to succumb to hysteria, yet I can’t help but think that complacency might put me on the beach admiring the amazing tide pools that had never been seen before as a wall of water 40 feet deep crashes over my existence.

I can’t know if COVID-19 will become a thing where I live, even though the 5th person in the United States diagnosed with what was then still called Coronavirus was right here in Arizona. I do know that I’m not the only person thinking long and deeply about it, as in learning which types of facemasks are most effective, I also quickly discovered that N95 respirators are nearly sold out everywhere.

Even as I write this, I’m reading chatter about a growing acceptance that COVID-19 will be a global phenomenon and that people are going to need to learn how to deal without resorting to extreme measures and fear. Meanwhile, thousands wait in line for surgical masks in South Korea, and grocery stores in a region of Italy are being shopped bare as people stock up for the worst.

Bulk food containers

I’m seeing some signs that people in Scottsdale are preparing for quarantine or a panic situation, as tonight at Whole Foods, there are particular bulk products sold out across their inventory, specifically those that can be sprouted, giving people a small amount of fresh greens in case they are unwilling or unable to venture out.

There’s an undiscussed situation here in America that could make a virus such as COVID-19 all the worse, and that is, what happens when people abstain from going to a doctor due to the exorbitant bills they’ll inevitably be faced with?

Then, before I can even post this, I learn that not only do we have quarantines in San Diego but in Oregon and Michigan too. Alabama turned down using one of its military bases as a quarantine site for people coming back from one of the cruises, but there is nothing to worry about as I’m sure we’ll handle it with the same efficiency we are seeing China deal with it, right?