A Much Needed Break

Sunrise in Phoenix, Arizona

Today, I finally put the record of our travels to the Maritimes behind me as I finish the last blog post covering that extraordinarily long vacation. Now begins the proverbial vacation from vacation, where I intend to avoid any hint of productivity and allow my brain to lay fallow. The two posts prior to this one were not written until the 28th of October, and this one I wrote on the 30th of October following my successful two-week sabbatical from harnessing words. In celebration of giving some free time to myself (oh hell, I guess all of my time is free and full of indulgence should I be honest), I’m here to celebrate this spectacular sunrise welcoming me to another beautiful day in Sandland, Arizona.

Sarcasm

Homeless sign in Phoenix, Arizona

Job loss, medical debt or health issues, mental health challenges, family crises or breakdown of support systems, housing costs becoming unaffordable, domestic violence, or substance use disorders – this was the list that Claude AI provided me to “Describe the situation of someone who might be holding a cardboard sign next to the road” (that was my prompt). It started its answer by explaining how “human beings experiencing hardship” could find themselves in this position and then produced the list of potential contributing factors.

Two homeless people recently died in the span of a few days, not a one-minute walk away from where we live. One was an overdose, and the other was a man stabbed to death by another homeless man. A day does not go by that I don’t see at least 15 homeless people, some who look barely alive while others are dragging obvious ailments around, such as broken feet that have healed with a foot now pointing in the wrong direction or open wounds. In front of fast food restaurants, bus stops, drug stores, and gas stations, the indigent struggle to survive the harsh environment of living outside. Often, those I  overhear talking about this situation appear to have strong beliefs that these human beings are simply victims of their own poor choices, but they most often attribute addiction and laziness as the reasons underlying their impoverishment. The secondary factor is that the government is giving them welfare and everything else they require, making it easy for the homeless to choose a lazy lifestyle, as though they are out on the street for no other reason than they really like holding cardboard.

Hypatia Returns

Hypatia from TimefireVR returns

Maybe this is not the greatest of screencaps, but what it represents is important. Hypatia, the VR title my company created, is back online and has been for a few days. I thought it was dead and gone because it had to be shelved by Harry (Turkvolt), who’d taken it upon himself to keep it alive when everyone else abandoned it. From 2014 through 2017, TimefireVR created an explorable, non-violent world where creativity and community were the hallmarks of our effort. Well, VR was a tough marketplace to crack. We spent nearly $5 million trying to realize my dream while Facebook spent $10 billion; we never really had a great chance, nor did they, for that matter. It’s now a decade after my first stumbles and mistakes in paving a path into an unknown world of possibilities. I had tapped a number of people who were able to hone their game development skills, make friendships that exist to this day, and help create a virtual environment that was wholesome but, ultimately, a failure. I miss this world. I miss Robert’s music, Rainy’s contributions to the art, Jay’s amazing 3D work, Jason and the other coder’s incredible efforts to do things on an extraordinarily small budget, let alone the two dozen other people who toiled against the odds to build Hypatia. And then there’s Harry, who brought the broken bits forward, modifying the code where needed, allowing the world of Hypatia to see the light of day again. I have a deep respect for his efforts and dedication, thanks Harry.

Vagina Vitamins

Billboard for Vagina Vitamins in Phoenix, Arizona

This image was not generated in AI; it’s a real billboard in Phoenix, Arizona, that I wasn’t going to miss. As I don’t have my own vagina, I cannot know what vitamins would be necessary for such a thing, and Caroline hasn’t shared with me her regime of supplements for hers. Although, as I feel I’m rather observant (especially of that), I don’t believe it to be part of the German character to care if the old puss has gotten enough vitamin C this week. The sign does have me thinking back to 2007 when, traveling on the freeway, I photographed a billboard which had a Poop Doctor asking, “Are you as backed up as this traffic?” That was the first time I’d seen public advertising for constipation. How long (pun intended) before I see a billboard for Penis Minerals?

Aileen the Artist

Aileen Martinez in Phoenix, Arizona

How sweet are sweets from nice people who consider others when they travel? Today, it was my good fortune to meet up with Aileen Martinez after her return from a month of road-tripping from Banff, Canada, to Minnesota with dozens of stops in between; she’d thought of Caroline and me when shopping for dark chocolate in Chicago. Aileen is an artist I first met here at WeBe Coffee Roasters nearly a year or more ago. Since then, she’s traveled solo to Japan, where she collected impressive art supplies and amazing experiences. Another trip took her to Vancouver, and then there was one to Mexico, or was it two? Missing from this photo is fellow artist Jef Caine, who has found van life in the Arizona desert less than ideal. I don’t often share images of people I gravitate toward, but Aileen exercises an intentionality that embodies the kind of strength I find admirable.

Looking Up

Looking at the ceiling

Things start when I look down at my keyboard and accept that today is one more day of pause in the routine of writing. After more than six intense months of daily work playing the scribe, I felt that a break was in order, and that’s what I’ve been exercising. The problem with this is that nothing happens here on the blog; it’s as though I’ve ceased to exist. So, to assure my future self that I was, in fact, alive during the silence, I just looked up to see the sun and sky, but confronted with ceiling and lamps, I figured that now was a good time to pen an update. It wasn’t that the view spoke to me. Actually, it was an accidental button press on my phone that turned on my camera’s selfie mode, and I thought that the image looked appealing. Well, that was enough to start the process of searching for something or other to say in order that the photo would find its way into a blog post.

Now, here it is, and with little narrative worthy of sharing, but aware that I’m trying to coerce a few brain cells to act performantly so as to not appear uninspired, I sit here ruminating under the ceiling with a mind trying to see a brief update. Sure, there are travel plans, with the closest jaunt away from home beginning tomorrow afternoon, as a matter of fact. Then there are the amazing tutorials that have been walking me through the details of an interface connecting my DAW (Digital Audio Workstation) called Bitwig (where I record music from my synthesizer) with TouchDesigner (a node-based visual programming tool for creating complex generative art and data visualization), allowing for audio-reactive programming where I could channel visual events from my synth. With the help of generative AI-based image creation as found in Adobe’s Illustrator, Runway AI video generation, and Stable Diffusion using ComfyUI and the rapidly growing world of Diffusion Models, we are at the cusp of being able to create visual materials linguistically instead of by hand freeing us to create audio/visual symphonies as individuals.

Of course, my progress with any of that will continue to be interrupted by my self-imposed obligation to the task of writing a novel, upcoming travels, and the general requirements of sharing a life with a great friend. The point is things are looking up, and with new distractions that require mind-melting noodling of the aging organ in my cranium, I’m able to witness these new infinities playing on the horizon. More often than not, I listen to people trapped under the low-hanging ceiling of their own makings as they accept the conventions of habit, but every so often, I decide to engage with someone who seems to be emanating something akin to the wonder found in children at play and not only do they brighten my day, I appear to have left them with a spark of inspiration that fuels my desire to learn, even further.