Freedom and Independence on the 4th of July

Independence Day out in a space that allows an extraordinary amount of freedom and independence to be had; that’s where we are. Nothing consumed, not a lot desired, and very little purchased is how we travel into this day, which in some way mirrors our lives at home. We comfortably find ourselves in a vast landscape, trying to interpret a horizon without easy markers or signs to guide us into the unfamiliar, and that’s okay.

Is Independence Day still a celebration of our freedom from tyranny or simply the faint recollection of historic events that paved the way for some idealistic notions? Certain declarations and amendments have come to stand in for whatever the thoughts might have been surrounding a collective sense of being free Americans, but are two or three fragments the extent of what independence means? Why do so many find our constitutional declarations ensconced in law to be tenuous at best and in need of constant anxious lament as though at any moment they will be ripped from the clutch of patriots who apparently are the only truly aware Americans? I’m afraid that this nervous energy and a constant refrain that everything America stands for is on the brink of being torn away is a toxic salve bringing infection to a wound exploited by hyperbolic political shysters, modern-day media snake oil salesmen, and pundit quacks who are not expert in anything other than terror.

People stuck in paradigms of the past appear most susceptible to fear and deception that exploits their unenlightened minds. Maybe they are broken and undereducated due to an indoctrination that made them slaves to a jingoistic and overzealous dogma from which they are now unable to break free. How, then, are those people free or independent? They are not; they are like this broken-down, rusting jalopy that is not going anywhere. Put a TV in front of this car, and you are effectively seeing many of my fellow citizens: frozen by gravity, useless, a relic from a past that failed to maintain any kind of momentum that might have allowed them to glide into the present and hopefully the future too.

I should offer up some details regarding this day that actually pertains to our trip from Utah that will take us home to Phoenix, Arizona, today. We woke in Blanding, a small town with a population of just under 3,600 people, and headed south. The sandstone bluff in the second photo is at the edge of the town of Bluff that we visited at the end of May; the car at the Cow Canyon Trading Post is also in Bluff. This wall fragment was at one time either part of a dwelling or maybe a storage area. I spotted it from the road, and it begged us to pay a visit. From here, we traveled toward Montezuma Creek and Aneth on our way to a special crossroads in the middle of nowhere.

Nowhere is where I live my best life, where nothing I own is strewn before or around me. All I can do is look upon the nothingness that embodies everything and has an intrinsic value exceeding the things that might be considered mine. When this wash is running it feeds into the San Juan River, which is the green spot out in the distance of this photo. For countless years, the rains have come and gone and, on occasion, left enough moisture that the streambed carved itself into the landscape. On this particular day, its path is evidenced by the green S curve starting in the foreground. The hand of nature out here has been employing the engineering forces of natural processes to build the most elegant of places that I will ever witness while standing at this particular place on State Route 162 located in San Juan County, Utah. So, now I’ve been everywhere and seen everything where nothing existed until I embued it with all the appreciation and value of someone able to find things meaningful while exploring the freedom of independence to do such things.

We had to stop here in Montezuma Creek, Utah, to admire the artwork of the students at Whitehorse High School who, when not exploring their creativity, are locked in classrooms being indoctrinated into believing that what they are being forced to learn will deliver them from the wretched poverty in which many of their parents exist. The cruel dichotomy here is that these kids are learning just enough to have them either conform or fail and likely relinquish themselves to systems that will exploit their incarceration. Without hope of further real education, they will languish in meager subsistence jobs not far from where they are growing up and never know the freedom of independence that the United States claims is a key part of our cultural DNA. Native Americans, like many minorities that can’t afford participation, are tossed by the wayside of something less than nothing, a place without hope or the ability to interpret what riches they might have if they were seriously knowledgable about truths. These truths are simply the idea that freedom is a state of mind afforded by removing oneself from the struggle of just surviving abject poverty, and this is where real education comes to bear.

I need to make clear here that my focus is not lamenting the situation of the poor, minorities, or other disadvantaged groups; the system is stacked against them, and they do what they can with the little they have. My real complaint is about those who have the means to be free and independent but are simultaneously deeply entrenched in their intellectual stagnation and being the loudest about their fear of what they claim is being stolen from them, which is absolutely nothing.

We cannot contain the ocean, the sun, or the wind, and we are fairly adept at controlling the river, bringing light to darkness, and giving ourselves the ability to move quickly over the surface of the planet, but we are absolute masters of bringing totalitarian enslavement upon the minds of the masses who are terrified to lose their shelter, sustenance, and social standing in a broken community of lonely souls drunk on the desire for out-of-reach riches that never offered real happiness to anyone in the first place. Love is the water that is supposed to flow down the river of life and through our communities, but we’ve created a drought by selling false dreams to people who will likely never know better and must endure the suffering of unfulfilled lives while we who have it all always get more. For us, the river is a deluge that welcomes us to grow more, secret away these precious resources so they may always be there for us; all the while, we pity those who supposedly won’t help themselves as we are oblivious to how systems are stacked against the ill-educated.

Aneth, Utah, is indicative of the disappearance of hope and opportunity, a place where the freedom to survive on ancestral lands is bulldozed by the allure of a fake image of life delivered by TV, the internet, and video games. In the past 20 years, Aneth has seen its population shrink by 139 people, and while that may not sound significant, consider that this means the town went from 598 people down to 459 for a loss of 1 in 4 Anethians. This is obviously a tragic situation for the local Navajo population since a town that is disappearing from the map has to support an elementary school that pays its senior teachers $80,000 a year and is apparently only working to catapult their children to places elsewhere.

With the intrusion of sham dreams of wild success that can be easily had in America’s big cities, the traditions of a community are shattered as fresh transplants crash into the cold reality of life in the uncaring environment of the metropolis. The broken young souls either fall to the wayside or return to the old town, contributing to its decay and their own dissatisfaction. This is not independence or freedom; it is planned disenfranchisement, obsolescence, cultural obliteration, and oppression. Aneth represents just 1 of 110 Navajo communities that are likely in similar predicaments. Now consider that by land area, the Navajo Nation is as large as the Netherlands and Belgium combined, but the GDPs of these two countries add up to almost $1.5 trillion compared to just $12.8 billion of economic activity on the largest Indian reservation in the United States; this is not an accident.

Sure, this is a poor comparison when one thinks that in Belgium and the Netherlands, the combined population is 29 million people strong in contrast to the Navajo Nation’s anemic 173,000 people, but in a country like the United States that has intentionally worked to disadvantage Native Americans, one might think we as a country could do better to honor those who have paid so much by suffering near total annihilation. Stop a moment and think of this: in Texas, 3.3 million people receive state aid, and nearly 2.8 million in Florida do too. Are we really a country of people who love independence and freedom that helps foster healthy communities and citizens, or are we a bunch of gun-loving nutjob individualists afraid of a tyrannical boogeyman created by marginalized megalomaniacs who become wealthy on this dissatisfaction, thus monopolizing another part of people’s vulnerability?

So, let’s all just look out on the horizon and refuse to see what we don’t want to see anyway. We are, after all, free to do exactly just what we want to do, even at the expense of sustaining a thriving nation. At one time, we were a union, not only that, we were trying to form a perfect union in order to establish our nation of the United States. Today, we are millions of individuals oblivious to our real role as neighbors willing to defend each other, help one another, and stand together. But the blue skies of optimism have been clouded over not exclusively by those in power but by all of us, the “We the people” part of all of us, because we are no longer we. This is a country of us and them. So on this 4th of July, which should be a joyous moment recognizing the accomplishments of a great country, we should bow down in respect of a dream that is dissipating like so many thin clouds on a hot day.

But that is not the America Caroline and I choose to live in. Our America is one of dreams and ideals where we’ve carved out just enough and seized the opportunity to find our way into a dream, though I’m not sure it resembles the idea of the bigger American Dream. You see, we are selfish, greedy, and maybe a bit isolated. We are selfish because we no longer buy into needing things like large homes, expensive cars, a vast wardrobe, or the other trappings of conspicuous consumption. We are greedy as we save money, predominately cook at home, set our thermostat higher, and save from not participating with subscriptions to frivolous services. We are isolated due to being avid readers, not owning a television, not playing golf, or rooting for sports franchises of any sort.

We’ve chosen our own path that recognizes our limitations to earn more and more. We’ve seen that those with more of all and nearly everything are rarely living profound and joyful lives. We understand that a chance encounter with someone less fortunate will likely offer us a more meaningful experience than listening to someone feeding us details about some celebrity, indignation regarding a politician of any persuasion, or their latest acquisition they believe enhances their position in the hierarchy of accomplishments.

We stand mostly alone with our ideals carrying dreams from a bygone era that if you ventured out into your country and into yourself, you might find experiential riches that would define you as a real explorer, a real American, a person living a life well lived. We still adhere to these ideas towering overhead as aspirations that are meant to be embraced. Caroline just recently became an American citizen and did so with tears in her eyes as she knows firsthand what is possible, but sadly, it is only because we had to separate ourselves from the masses defined by a lot of nothing, masses who don’t know the real American Dream and are angry that they are living in dystopian nightmares of their own creation.

Just stop a second and look at this: we are living the adage extolled in the Declaration of Independence regarding Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. We are free under our current system to find just those things; nobody is trying to take anything from us, but we must be willing to give to ourselves and adapt to a changing world. Our founding fathers never envisioned a day when people would travel at 60 mph over land in air-conditioned vehicles, take photos of exquisite detail, and call ahead to a restaurant in the middle of a desert to verify their hours, but that’s what we do, and all that’s required is to continue changing with the times.

These bags of flour will not make themselves into a cake, bagels, or the Navajo frybread it is likely destined to become. Someone else will have to transform it; the flour will be altered by the addition of other ingredients, be they savory or sweet; the point is that these constituent parts will see their chemistry changed but still won’t be done until they find their way into a transitional form of having been cooked. And though the flour and that which was added will become food, it will then need to be consumed to act as nourishment. Maybe a grandmother made a cake, a dad made his kids pancakes on a Sunday morning, or a husband and wife are making frybread next to the road and loading it with roast mutton for passersby, such as my wife and me. This act of change and preparation is what will sustain those who benefit from the efforts of a community. This parable is what a nation, a people, a country of united souls does for one another, but we’ve lost sight of the basic ingredients right in front of us. Instead, we are pissed off when we must deal with the investment of effort to transform things on our own because the 20-layer cake isn’t being spoon-fed to us when we want it.

Do not be a petulant bulwark against your own motion forward, happiness, or accomplishment. Nothing is really standing in your way besides yourself. Your intransigence to see your way around minor obstacles blinds you and steals your vision to find what is just beyond the rock called self. Caroline and I are not perfect examples of growing beyond limitations, but in these moments of exploring our own freedom and independence, we get to take sight of the astonishing vistas of our vast country and consider how fortunate we are to have broken free of the shackles of unattainable lives of perfection sold by those snake oil salesmen, quacks, charlatans, con artists, and cheaters who have sold far too many Americans nothing but anguish by blaming others for what they are missing.

Nothing has been stolen from you aside from what you gave away. If you look into the window of the TV screen and witness the magic of incredible perfection, maybe you are already selling yourself on self-delusion. The horizon is not painted in gold, but it is embued with riches of wonder if you know how to see what you were never told was valuable. America is the dream; our freedom to venture into ourselves has never been denied, but the fortitude of the pioneer requires us to surmount obstacles, and in a modern age, that means we must clamber over our own ignorance and fear of failure.

Initially, the road may not be paved, and we might struggle to determine the direction we need to take if there is no one to guide us; such is the task of the relentless fighter intent on carving a way forward. When the destination is not obvious, we are presented with our own wherewithal to make decisions and choices that might harm us as well as deliver us.

It’s bumpy out here, and what if you can’t easily find what sustains you? You keep going forward and shut up, as being a stoic is at the heart of being American. If you believe you deserve to be called a citizen of the United States, a real American, you push forward against the odds that will feel stacked against you, but in this age, it is no longer the brute force of strength that will propel you, it is what you’ve fed your mind, your education, and the opportunity you must work hard at to empower you. The easy way is for losers, they stay behind and wait for others to pave a trail instead of making the arduous journey themselves. We do not choose to stay at home watching the game, firing up the barbecue, or tossing back a beer today; we venture out to explore unknown spaces and risk learning about something that may not be initially obvious as to what value it gave us. Still, we seize the moment and embrace our radical freedom to be everywhere, anywhere, and nowhere.

Ah, the proverbial cake is served in the form of a roast mutton sandwich on frybread. We have pulled into Chinle, Arizona, on the Navajo Nation, and it is here at an anonymous dirt lot where it might not be apparent to those driving by that a loose grouping of trucks and a few trailers is actually a small flea market. Hoping I’d get lucky to find what my deepest desires want right now, I creep over the bumpy lot, slowly driving past tables and vehicles until my eye caught a truck and trailer looking like they were offering hot food. While Caroline grabs the last dish of roast mutton deluxe with corn on the cob, potato, and green chili (which I’ll help myself to), I opt for the roast mutton sans frybread (it’s a diabetes thing) and am now being delivered to a state of sheepy nirvana.

What wasn’t at the market but was found in the parking lot of a gas station was a husband and wife selling pickle dillies, which we’ve also seen offered as picadillies. Salty, sour, and sweet isn’t everyone’s cup of yummy, but my wife isn’t everyone, so the idea of having a snowcone of tiger’s blood, banana, and black cherry syrup with layers of pickles is the perfect summer treat for her. As for me, yeah, that diabetes thing again. I’ll hold out for the possibility I might find more roast mutton further down the road. If you don’t try what you don’t know, you’ll never know what you didn’t know, and you’ll only have yourself to blame for a life not lived well.

Freedom and independence are choices in a land where they are guaranteed, but you’ll have to muster some resolve to risk your sense of certainty and put away your biases. Are your mind and imagination open like the sky on a summer day, or are you locked in the dungeon of hate and resentment that others are living the life you believe you deserve yet are unable to budge from your obstinacy to grab? I’d like to reiterate that Caroline and I are not special; we are simply willing to go out, look, savor, and participate in things that are not a normal part of our routine. We give ourselves permission to step out of our comfort zone, and yet we keep finding great comfort in discovering something new and exciting where others might find nothing.

I need to stop a moment and consider things I don’t know, such as the thoughts that might arise here at the Hubbell Trading Post National Historic Site. This building is here because 158 years ago, the people of the Navajo Nation were force-marched over 300 miles from their native lands to a small reservation in eastern New Mexico. This act of human cruelty left deep scars on the Diné (Navajo), and why wouldn’t it? Forces representing the United States, along with disease and famine, killed more than a quarter of their population. So I can’t tell you how I might see the world and my opportunity in it if I came from an oppressed people. Regarding this trading post, it’s here because after the Long Walk, as the forced march is known, and the people returned to this land, trading posts were opened across the Navajo Nation as the U.S. government tried to support the Navajo in getting back on their feet.

This idea of trauma hindering the ability to move lives forward is obviously a touchy one that various ethnic and religious groups have had to contend with throughout time, but I can’t help but take inspiration from Jewish people, especially those who survived World War II. Roughly 33% of the global population of Jews died between 1933 and 1945 at the hands of the Nazis while their history of persecution for centuries prior is well known, and so their resilience to bounce back following the 2nd world war is nothing short of admirable. Tenacity to get past adversity seems to pay dividends, and while not all people are alike, there’s a lesson to be learned from not only people of the Jewish faith but maybe the Mormons, too. But I’m not here to dissect the minutiae of persecuted and oppressed people or to bring into context the barbarity of various societies over the course of history; I’m more interested in the valuable lessons learned. The most important of those lessons seems to me to be that bad, horrible, atrocious acts of cruelty are perpetrated on people from all walks of life, but the ability to stop the victimization thinking and lingering in despair is key to moving forward.

This positive way ahead applies to all of us as it seems that some relative majority of humans have suffered at the hands of neglect, abuse, lack of opportunity, bullying, condemnation, or some other bias that has negatively impacted lives. You see these Navajo woven baskets hanging upside-down here at the Hubbell Trading Post? This is considered bad in Navajo lore as baskets are used to hold important things such as food, and hanging them up in this way means they cannot serve their purpose and act in the capacity for which they were created It doesn’t always have to be this way and maybe someday they’ll be removed from the ceiling and restored to a position where, even if they never act as working baskets again, they’ll be on display and respected as what they were intended to be. People have to take themselves away from a position of remaining empty and restore their purpose. We are containers of important things such as knowledge, experience, and love, we should work together to develop our carrying capacity. We cannot relegate our function and utility to forces that only desire the sea of humanity to fill the role that brings fortune to a select few and not ourselves.

Think of this display as the face of humanity: we are pictures, baskets, pots, vessels, clothes, books, and rugs, things that all have great value, treasures if you will. When all these things are brought together, they are impressive in their magnificence, and we can easily recognize their collectibility. All of these things have something in common: someone with specific skills labored over each object to imbue them with form, particular characteristics, knowledge, artistic qualities, and every combination of those attributes that lends beauty and purpose to them. People are exactly the same, but we’ve lost sight of that as we’ve reduced individuals to being merely a thread, a particle of sand, a piece of wood pulp without real value, as though they were only a tiny constituent part of something bigger. This is plain wrong as we are all potentially fully formed artworks, fonts of wisdom, inspirations for others, and beacons of light that will lend skills and aesthetic grace to the next generation who can benefit from sharing if we don’t forget that we all have something worth offering each other.

The land is the surface we all dwell upon; the tree shares its durability and strength to give us shelter, comfort, tools, food, and heat. In the case of this hogan, the earth is also the roof that protects us from the elements. With basic sheltering needs cared for, we can turn our attention to our other needs, such as growing food, but in modern society, that is often available as a convenience at a nearby grocery store where the variety exceeds almost anything we might produce for ourselves. If those necessities are the minimum that is met, we must turn our attention to decorating ourselves and our environment. In earlier societies that meant painting and adorning ourselves, embellishing the walls of our dwelling, filling the air with our song and the music of our instruments. In modernity, while many are still occupied with the brand of clothes, makeup, size of a television, type of car, or cult objects turned into fetishized commodities such as phones, bikes, or handbags, the real element of total importance is how we enrich the internal world of our mind.

The exterior of your home, the entryway into that space, and the things that accentuate the appearance of places all carry little weight when it comes to what you bring to how you will see the world when standing before the multitude of situations you are ill-equipped to understand if you are willing to venture into the liminal.

Two-hundred forty-six years ago, in 1776, humanity required a document to express the need for freedom and declare independence as the greed and brutality of a ruling class that was busy owning other people in various forms of servitude or had yoked their subjects in rules and taxes that proved that souls and bodies had been conquered reached a breaking point. It would be 90 years after that and only after a civil war that those who might otherwise claim enlightenment were vanquished, and their ideas of slavery would start to be arrested. One hundred years after that and only one year after I was born, the Civil Rights Act was signed into law. With this knowledge of the glacial pace of change, I suppose reluctantly that the recognition of the importance of the freedom of mind space and the necessity of knowledge acquisition won’t be a larger issue of societal imperative before 2065, when I’m long dead. It’s tragic how slow we are to come full circle.

The human is but a vessel. It is this idea of us carrying the dreams, aspirations, inventions, covenants, tools, traditions, and love that we should honor this maxim instead of trying to squash it, which I feel we are doing at this time. While we cannot know with any certainty who our distant relatives were 10,000 years ago, I believe that although life might have been fraught with quite difficult struggles, they understood freedom and independence in ways that transcend anything we believe we know. Circumstances would have dictated radically different approaches to survival, but reliance on family, community, and the wisdom of those with life skills would have been paramount. Today, we proverbially throw the weak to the wolves; we cast them to the street and into existences that bring such despair that the only way to survive is through substance abuse, violence, and ultimately an early death. Our compassion for one another is less than we might place on rare and valuable objects such as this old Navajo basket.

Please do not correct me by giving examples of those who help one another, the individuals who succeeded against the odds, or the various programs designed to alleviate these issues. We know full well that ignorance locks the unfortunate in systems and paradigms they are unable to escape from. It is only with concerted efforts to pry them free of their own darkness that they have a chance at finding greater value from within.

Take these three clay vessels of Navajo creation and design; today, they are likely worth more than $20,000, but sitting on this shelf, their value is merely theoretical. Someone must fall in love with them and recognize what they represent, and then if they are so fortunate, they might find a way to acquire them for their own home, but if they are truly magnanimous, they will donate them to a museum for all of humanity to enjoy into the future. Imagine if society as a whole was so generous.

The three Diné women offered a generous and friendly embrace in taking the time to share in our enthusiasm for the native culture out here in Ganado, Arizona, and the history of the Navajo Nation as an outpost and container for the traditions of their ancestors. Caroline is once again sworn in as a Junior Ranger, but this time, it was after learning more about the lives of Ganado Mucho, who was the 12th signer of the U.S.-Navajo Treaty of 1868 that ended the captivity of  Navajo following the Long Walk. We learned of John Lorenzo Hubbell (known as the “Old Mexican”), who in 1878 started this trading post whose success in part relied on the friendship of Ganado Mucho. Hubbell, who had learned to speak Navajo, had the distinct advantage of being able to better share and communicate with the survivors of atrocities that risked erasing the people of these lands, and with that ability and knowledge, he helped establish trade in Navajo crafts that allowed the post to remain an important location into the 1960s when the National Park system took over operations. Had the Fred Harvey company taken over Hubbell, it might very well have been turned into a tourist attraction similar to the “Friendly Indian” places along historic Route 66, selling imported “hand-made” jewelry and plastic tomahawks. Today, we had an opportunity to peer into history and understand a little more about the changes our ancestors wrought upon the indigenous people of North America due to the empathy of a governmental body responsible for preserving not only nature but knowledge too. If you wonder if I’m contradicting myself, nothing is ever black and white, as people, governments, and cultures should all be evolving if they are to remain healthy. Just because mistakes are made every day, this doesn’t imply they can’t be rectified as our knowledge grows.

So there isn’t “nothing” out here in the middle of nowhere. There is everything that embodies the potential of people to find what they don’t yet know, to discover that freedom and independence emerge from wide open spaces that encourage people to learn what they’ve not found. First, people mustn’t be afraid of the apparent emptiness that their ignorance casts as something evil, hostile, or in need of being conquered by force; it is simply the unknown that, with time, is knowable. It is the wandering in open spaces that speaks of the greatest freedom and begs visitors to fill that apparent void with the truth of reality that exists everywhere.

The ideas regarding freedom and independence might seem like a rock impervious to the folly of fools, but it is precisely the fools that erode the structures that hold together the mountains of society and culture. Humanity is at a juncture on the map of our future to harness the potential of people to do good, or we can turn and do bad and erase all the beauty we could preserve if we chose to understand how fragile the most important things are. Happy 4th of July! On this day, we celebrate our opportunity to experience freedom and this incredible independence while being stewards of such important ideas.

Squeezing Everything Out of Sunday

Wake, shower, pack, eat breakfast (including blue corn pancakes), and get moving down the road. If we timed things correctly, we’d arrive at the El Malpais National Monument visitor center just as they were opening at 9:00. This sounds a bit rushed, and maybe it was a little, but we were moving further away from Arizona on the day we’d be heading home.

Caroline had finished the junior ranger booklet last night so we could pass through Grants, New Mexico, on the north side of the park, eliminating the need to double back later in the day to return it. Sworn in once more, this probably brings her close to 1,000 such badges she earned over the years.

These are the sandstone cliffs we were seeing in the distance yesterday while hiking on the cinder cone over at the El Calderon trail, it turns out that these are technically not a part of the park here at El Malpais. I suppose when one considers that El Malpais translates from Spanish to the bad country or badlands, it makes sense as the fossilized lava fields that make up the majority of the national monument are jagged, sharp, treacherous, and simply not very hospitable.

Just how angry that environment of nearly raw lava is will be experienced firsthand as we venture out on the Acoma-Zuni Trail. Prior to our arrival, we’ve read multiple times about the importance while hiking this 8-mile trail to always keep sight of the next cairn that will direct us through the maze that awaits us. Water, sunscreen, and a couple of snacks are in the bag, and we are ready to tackle what we can, which, by the way, is not the entirety as we are not fooling ourselves that we can hike 8 miles across and then turn around and hike back.

It’s called the common collared lizard, but, come on, with a blue-green body, yellow head, and yellow speckles down its back, I’d say this is anything but common. Also uncommon, it sat there making eye contact as I slowly approached to take its photo. I did not use a telephoto lens; I just walked up, pushed my camera closer, and snapped off a few shots.

Somewhere nearby, another hiker, a solo woman hiker, went by in a bit of a blur, she was on a mission. That mission has to do with the Continental Divide Trail that slices through here, using the Acoma-Zuni Trail. Her direction suggests she was on a southerly trek, which would also imply that this is not a thru-hike but working on another segment of a multi-year hike, likely the last bit of the 3,100-mile trail. A badass in the badlands.

At 59 years old, you might think I’ve learned a lesson or two about expectation, but every time we venture out on a new trail, I’m of the opinion that this one will be somehow easier than those we’ve traveled before. What happens is that reality intrudes on my fantasy, and I learn that new challenges are being presented. Steep-sloping rocks were not part of what was in my imagination, nor were chasms opened up by the ancient lava. The advice I’d read that hikers on this trail would benefit from hiking poles and gloves should have been heeded, but know-it-all John isn’t comfortable with being weighed down with unnecessary things like poles, an extra lens, water, food, or any of that other junk, it’s just me and my camera. So how is it that I’ve not died of exposure, dehydration, or starvation out in these environments? I have a wife who doesn’t see the world quite the same way I do and drags all that stuff and more along with us on her back, well, everything but the hiking poles that we are reconsidering the need for.

Thorns and beautiful flowers were the least of our worries out here. Come to think about it, I don’t think Caroline really had any worries at all.

It was me who had worries, fears, and anxiety as things grew steeper, chasms became deeper, and the angles sharper. All this, and we weren’t even 2,000 feet across the 7 miles of fossilized lave that was still ahead of us. Sadly, it was paralyzing enough that I had to turn back, and obviously, Caroline would be doing the same. Just as I run into debilitating emotions that stop me from getting further at times, one of my greater disappointments is that it also stymies Caroline’s opportunity to see more. Sure, she does her best to assure me that at least we were able to see and experience the things we’d never have already seen had we stayed at home, but this is still small consolation for the parts of the journey denied her.

So, with the Acoma-Zuni Trail now behind us, we are on to the next part of the day’s activities as we continue south.

We pulled into the parking lot at La Ventana Natural Arch and met another person hiking the CDT (Continental Divide Trail). A Lithuanian, though he calls Poland home, he’s on a 6-month visa in order to have enough time to complete the entirety of the hike from Mexico to Canada. Tom is his name, and he’d just descended that area in front of us, probably to the left. On a previous visit to the United States, he completed the Pacific Crest Trail. We left Tom with an ice-cold refill of one of his water bottles before taking off for our short walk to view the arch

There’s a massive arch in the center of this image, though it’s not exactly easy to see. I even went beyond the barrier to scramble up the well-used unofficial path of those who break the rules trying to get a better photo, only to learn that there isn’t a better photo to be had from here. Maybe at different times of the day, the light hits things just right so that the scale of things can be appreciated better, but today at mid-day, it just wasn’t happening.

We are heading up there somewhere next.

Just below this point, we parked the car near some picnic tables and walked through a lot of sand up here on the Narrow Rim Trail, that’s a 7.3-mile out-and-back hike.

In no time, we’re atop the cliff and walking in wow.

Cairns identify the way when the trail becomes difficult to see.

How it is that we are the only ones up here is astonishing as although the trail is considered moderate in difficulty, these old people think it’s pretty easy and seriously pretty on the eyes. As a matter of fact, we are bowled over and maybe a little bit disappointed that we didn’t head directly to this part of the park because we are well aware that we’ll not be able to make it to the overlook of the arch due to the time constraints that now exist if we want to get home before 10:00 pm. We won’t turn into pumpkins or stones should we not get home prior to that, but driving at night comes with growing uncertainty the older I get, or maybe I’m no longer able to deal with fatigue the same way as I could 20 years ago.

A little more than a mile into the hike we start discussing if we’ve gone far enough. We agree we have, but it’s so incredibly, perfectly beautiful out here that we’ll just keep on a short bit more, just to the next corner to check out the view, and then we’ll reconsider.

This keeps on like that until we’ve hiked at least 2 miles up the Narrows Rim for this look facing northwest behind us. It cannot be overstated how we are walking in the profound, crushed by the gravity of what is being offered us up here all alone. How can it be possible that we are experiencing this without a thousand others walking with us, confirming to one another that we are the fortunate people of the earth, unable to comprehend why it should be us? With eyes saturated, we agree that this is really as good a spot as any to turn around. Sure, we know we are only about 1.5 miles from the overlook that would offer an overhead view of La Ventana Arch, but if we went that far, what would we have to come back to?

Yesterday, I didn’t think I had anything else to say about lichen, and then I somehow found something, but today, I’m not even going to try other than to ask, isn’t it magnificent?

People may extinct themselves, but as the saying goes, life finds a way, as evidenced by a tree growing out of rock. If you know me, you might be asking, “Hey John, did you just quote Jurrasic Park?” Just remember that I was once young and watched the same pop pap that all of us take in, and as I’ve explained before, I had to stop as those things not only become ingrained in my memories, they become poisons that take a greater place in my head where that damned theme song to Gilligans Island or Arnold telling us, “I’ll be back,” continue to live.

While the Acoma-Zuni trail is further north of here, this is essentially what we were supposed to be hiking upon. It all looks so innocuous from a few hundred feet above, but I swear that down there, I had the feeling that those rocks were the jaws of some t-rex bent on consuming me. I should give this writing exercise a break about right now as once I start drifting into movie references I have a hard time pulling myself back from that ledge.

About to reencounter the flat earth, we’ve already decided to stick around one of the picnic tables to enjoy our lunch right here instead of searching for something hot that would just make us later getting home, seeing that it would have us sitting down for the meal because I prefer not to eat from styrofoam while moving down the road.

This was the smart thing to do as otherwise we’d have brought all this food just to take it home. I now know that I’m a fan of bologna and hardboiled egg sandwiches on multi-grain bread; the only thing missing was potato chips sitting atop the egg slices. Add an apple, some popcorn, and a couple of cashews, and this made for the best lunch we’d ever had on this particular Sunday in May during 2022. If we could do it all over again, we’d rewind the tape and not change a thing.

I thought we were heading home, but the short Lava Falls Trail held enough attraction for Caroline that we turned down the short dirt road for the drive to the trailhead.

The trail is a short 1-mile affair rated as easy, but that doesn’t take into consideration that hikers have to step over what amounts to chasms. I believe something goes haywire in my brain when out in nature, as I’d swear this crack in the earth appeared much larger in person than what I see in my photograph. Maybe I should blame Herr Nietzsche for planting those thoughts regarding the staring into ravines (or something to that effect) for my looking for my inner lusus naturae somewhere down there in the darkened bowels. Would Freud suggest that my fear is of the below and going down while ascending and going higher is my preferred space? Ah yes, thanks to my mother who abandoned me as a child, I’m afraid of what represents her vagina, but on the other hand, I’m afraid of heights; do they represent the large phallus of the father? Good thing I’m no Freudian scholar or any other scholar for that matter, as I’m fairly certain, I’d be in the first order of scatological demon-freaks plumbing the genital metaphors due to my potty mind that on occasion reveals my aged childish imagination.

Yesterday on the El Calderon trail, we learned about why there were black and red cinders in different areas; they stem from different volcanic eruptions. There are also obvious reasons why lava can have color variations, such as we saw there on the trail and here at Lava Falls; the black lava has more magnesium, while the red contains more iron. I thought this was a great example of two flows that sit right next to each other and yet are chemically quite different.

Following the path of the cairns is the advice proffered, but I’ve run out of faith and chosen our return to the safety of anywhere else instead of finishing our loop trail. Maybe by writing about hiking poles once again, I’ll draw closer to finding the religion of using these crutches. With that in mind, I did a quick search for the pros and cons of hiking with poles; steadying yourself in precarious balancing situations is the number one pro, while having your hands free for quick photos is the first con I’m noting.

If you were to glance over our photos of traveling in Europe, you might arrive at the conclusion that we are church snobs. Far from it, we love all churches but especially Catholic ones, as they are mostly open. Here in Quemado, New Mexico, at the intersection of Nothing and Vast Openness, we encountered the Sacred Heart Church. It’s a small affair, and it being Sunday, it just had to be open.

Built during the 1930s, around the time that Quemado was referred to as the Rodeo Center of New Mexico, this church is a pretty good reflection of the building materials available in the area. Historical information about this area is sparse, though a book titled A History of Highway 60 and the Railroad Towns on the Belen, New Mexico Cutoff by Dixie Boyle seems to have the most data about the area in general that I could find.

Thirty-five miles later, we are back in Arizona with only 236 miles (380km) until we reach home.

We jumped back in time at the Arizona State Line, gaining time and allowing us to live the 16th hour of the day all over again. It’s as though we see the future from the past that was already lived once but is now happening in a new space. Looks good from here.

We’d simply turned around to look into the distance of where we’d come from and were curious if we were, in fact, gleaning two event horizons separated by the quanta of perception as we traveled through the wormhole called Daylight Savings Time. What is found behind is not so ahead, which implies we are moving between dimensions, right?

As if the intra-time portal opened between the geographic regions of Arizona and New Mexico wasn’t enough, we stumbled into a full eclipse of the moon. Not just any eclipse either, as you can easily see, this is a Blood Moon that prophecy suggests will guide Caroline and me into a blissful future paved with great happiness.

A Perfect Saturday in New Mexico

Sunrise in Zuni, New Mexico

Out with the rising sun, barking dogs, hornos (beehive-shaped adobe ovens pictured below), and a man named Elroy singing us a song dedicated to John and Caroline while accompanying himself on the air guitar; this was a first. That’s how our perfect Saturday began in the Native American village of Zuni, New Mexico.

Bread ovens in Zuni, New Mexico

We are staying at the one and only place for lodging in this small town of approximately 6,000 people, the Inn at Halona. Further north up on Interstate 40, traveling from Gallup, Grants, and Albuquerque to points further east, the towns along the freeway are noisy, generic, and sad. Some might argue that Zuni, a bit south of all that, is sad, too, but they’d be wrong. It’s simply reflecting with brutal honesty how colonizers disadvantaged a people for which there was little room in the expanse of white America. In this sense, Zuni is much like Window Rock, Arizona, or Oglala, South Dakota, but the locals have never been less than stellar with us. It’s strange how those on the margin are often some of the most generous people we meet during our travels.

Zuni, New Mexico

Last night, during a late check-in, we learned (maybe we were reminded, I’m not sure) that breakfast was included. Since the Halona Inn is a bed and breakfast, it should have been apparent that it would include the first meal of our day. We dined on a sumptuous affair crowned by blue corn pancakes and served promptly at 7:00. Trey is our server and cook, and I’d likely be correct in saying that she’s A’shiwi (the Spanish named the people of this region Zuni). Her enthusiasm and friendliness really contributed to breakfast being better than it might have otherwise been.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

There was some hesitation in eating breakfast at the Inn as we’d brought our own to allow us to get out on the trail at daybreak, but thinking twice about it, a hot breakfast here on the Zuni reservation sounded enticing. Good thing it worked out this way and that we were willing to linger a bit longer on our way to El Morro National Monument as it turned out that the park doesn’t open until 9:00 anyway. We waited less than 5 minutes before the automatic gate swung open, allowing us to make our way to the visitor center and the trailhead.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

There are three possible paths from here for us to take; the first goes to the right to Inscription Rock and Mesa Top Trail Loop further on. We can go left directly to the Mesa Top Trail and the Pueblo ruin we’ll also reach if we take a right. Our third choice is to turn around and leave; well, that’s hardly a viable choice after putting ourselves out here just for this anticipated hiking adventure.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

We opted to go to the right to match our political affiliation (NOT), and the first unexpected sight is found here in this alcove. Signs of waterfalls abound. Obviously, with the cloudless blue skies that are accompanying our day, there’s not a drop of moisture that will flow from those chutes carved into the sandstone. But just below…

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

…is this pool with a depth of about 12 feet. This reliable source of water brought people into the area for centuries.

Petroglyphs at El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

Obviously, Native Americans were the first in the area centuries before anyone of European descent arrived on the scene.

Petroglyphs at El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

The Ancestral Pueblo Indians who lived on the cliffs above were present from around 1275 to 1350 AD, while the Zuni/A’shiwi have been living in the area for about 1300 years.

Inscriptions at El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

Then, back in about 1540, Francisco Vázquez de Coronado first encountered the Zuni. Whether he made it to this watering hole remains unknown, but there you have it, a European in the Southwest of the North American continent. Sixty-five years later, Juan de Oñate passed through here, leaving his autograph on Inscription Rock. This photo is not of that precise panel but is a fair enough representation of the style of messages left when Spaniards were passing through. Juan de Oñate came to New Mexico in 1598 and became a villain in the eyes of the Puebloan Indians in the area when he ordered the slaughter of 500 people in retribution for the killing of a dozen conquistadors in 1599.

The inscription pictured above says, “We passed by here, the Sergeant Major and Captain Juan de Archuleta and Adjutant Diego Martin Barba and Ensign Agustin de Ynojos. The year of 1636”

Inscriptions at El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

Skip this part of my story if you want to avoid controversial politics about which I’m opinionated but ofwhich I am no expert. A segment of America is raging at the moment of this writing about Critical Race Theory (CRT) and the Great Replacement bizarro idea. Critical Race Theory opponents are afraid that white children might be made responsible for answering to the misdeeds of their forefathers, while the Great Replacement asserts that minorities are out to replace white people. I’m of the belief that the white Christian hegemonistic bias that has been at work for far too long upon these shores is afraid to let go. Where once we railed against primitive, archaic people who originally populated this country, we ourselves are now the primitive, archaic people afraid of change.

Although white Europeans from Spain arrived in the lands that would become the western United States 80 years before the pilgrims landed and Ponce de Leon visited what would become Florida in 1513, I was taught that American history really begins at Jamestown in 1607 and at Plymouth Rock in late 1620 and then again in 1776 while the interloping Spaniards were of no particular consequence as they were not from North European stock anyway which is where the good god-fearing Christians come from. Was the Catholicism of the Spaniards part of the problem and the reason why there was so much controversy around John F. Kennedy becoming president as a Catholic? Our fundamentalist roots that took hold in the northeast feel like a boat anchor holding America back as we’ve sacrificed education (maybe a poor example, but look at the first carving made by an American citizen at this monument that includes a typo, insciptions) in order to enforce a kind of intellectual violence aimed at maintaining conformity and fear of the future. Our common knowledge is no longer commensurate with the rigor required at this time in history.

Someday, this massive tottering chunk of sandstone will collapse, and the monument at El Morro will be changed. With the passage of time, the inscriptions carved on these walls, noting who passed through here starting before 1605 and continuing until the early 20th century when this area was designated a national monument, will all fade and disappear. But none of this will change the fact that this was a part of our cultural history and remains part of the permanence of the earth. In my brief moment of being human, I have the opportunity to experience these things the way they are, understand how they were, and hope to leave it all in at least the same condition with which I was fortunate enough to have been presented. Maybe that’s the best we can do with nature and history, but regarding our intellectual and cultural capacity, we should always be striving to build personal monuments that can best weather the elements of reflection and accountability.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

We slog up the switchbacks as we need to gain elevation if we are to capture what lies above in the unknown heavens that remain out of sight.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

But don’t forget to get lost in the enchanting details that might otherwise remain unseen should your desire to reach the destination have you racing over the trail. This applies not only to the day or hour but to the entirety of your life.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

So, there you are, traveling with confidence and curiosity until you encounter the BLOCK. Fear drills into you, and uncertainty grips your strength as the ability to carry on is no longer certain. The good intentions begin to crumble. That’s just what happens to me every time I reach that place in my path where my personal weakness rears its ugly head, screaming at me to start trembling. I oblige as I consider the abyss I’ll certainly stumble into because the sides of the path ahead that would otherwise support me fall abruptly into apparent nothingness. This is my fear of heights, where an irrational mind is making decisions that would stop me in my tracks. It does happen that I am forced to give in to that crippling effect, but today won’t be that time.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

Before we ever got out here, I examined the trail from across the ridge using our binoculars. I watched a family of five traverse the terrifying heights of near-certain death with their 5, 7, and 8-year-old (my estimation) children seemingly oblivious of their own mortality; oh yeah, they are at that age they are unaware of such things. I had to dig deep to muster the strength of determination if we were to see that pueblo ruin on the other side with our own eyes. I just had to share this experience with Caroline instead of denying the two of us the reward of accomplishing what we set out to do. This idea of never giving up sure comes at a cost; in this instance, it’s called panic.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

If you look at the photos I’m sharing here on the razor’s edge and wonder what the big deal is, consider that I’m only able to stop and snap an image where I’m absolutely certain about my footing. Ambiguity about my wavering center of gravity requires I focus on the most serious of tasks, where are my safe places, and don’t fixate on the potential of my feet not performing as they have for more than 55 years. This photo of the stairs was one such moment where I still had a split second to grab the photo and capture this brilliant carving showing us the way down. The place I was standing was not ideal, but I was able to bring up the camera just long enough to snap this image, not two shots, just this one, of which I was uncertain if I’d framed it decently.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

Breathe, find the center, look around, and calm down. There’s immense beauty out here and profound accomplishment when each step demands a level of commitment that, from moment to moment, feels impossible. I cannot photograph the places that offer the greatest accomplishment, that of me overcoming me, but when I get to my safe place, I can stop to revel in what I just did and the wonderful new sights and vistas that have opened up for me having gone through the impossible. Writing when I’m less than inspired is part of this design to go further. I don’t always have inspired words; some could argue that I never have but I do have the wherewithal to not give up or take an alternative easy path. As much as I loathe the difficulties, I’m aware that I’m able, with enough effort, to make the kinds of strides that, in retrospect, gave me more life than I would have otherwise found in front of a TV, playing a video game, or tossing back a drink at the sports bar. That’s right; I’m here on the Headlands Trail at El Morro, finding out more about myself, love, aesthetics, beauty, strength, and the universe just by looking at the patterns found in a random spot of sandstone.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

This is how we ascend to heights above our meager beginnings. From deep below, where we dwell in the murky world of our naivete and ignorance, we watch the shadows of others creating our false reality while, on rare occasions, the individual arrives on the scene who appears to have been born with an impatience to see, know, and do more. Then the question arises once you’ve climbed those stairs: do you own a vocabulary and evolving knowledge of the world to find sense and meaning in that obscure realm of the unknown you’ve not experienced prior to your arrival?

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

Look for luxury hotels in New York City, and you’ll easily find a dozen that will want more than $1000 a night; if you are seriously wealthy, you can part with as much as $75,000 per evening. Should you want to spend a weekend between a pueblo and a kiva, well, that’s priceless, priceless because it’s not available. There’s no such accommodation or situation that allows a visitor to spend any amount of money or time that brings them into the history, ritual, ceremony, or sharing of the sacred with the Puebloan people of the Southwest. For me, and if I can speak for my significant other, the sacred, be it sea, mountain, creature, desert, sunrise or sunset, cathedral, laughter, or the imagined world of what might occur within the kiva, these are the most profound luxuries that can only be experienced with the desire to travel further within ourselves.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

Though I’ve written more than a few times about kivas, I should consider that not everyone knows what they are as they encounter one of my posts. A kiva is a subterranean room, as pictured here and above, that at one time had a roof over it. These rooms were used for the rites of the Kachina and for political meetings. Among the Puebloans of today, kivas are still in use, but there is no invitation for outsiders to witness the proceedings due to our white-dominant culture having never been able to demonstrate respect for the practices of a people long considered not only primitive but subhuman, too. As a white man, I have no possible ability to conceive of what it’s like to be a person of color who’s been marginalized as a type of animal any more than I can understand what it is to be a woman, a fish, or a grain of sand.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

We’ve been making movies for more than 100 years, and while we’ve explored themes of aliens, monsters, outer space, the bottom of the sea, all types of realms out of fantasy, heroes, love, tragedy, war, cooking, dancing, and most anything else imaginable out of the more than 250,000 films ever made but there are very few that portray Native Americans in a realistic light. What was life like for the Ancestral Pueblo Indians? What did the area around Phoenix, Arizona, look like 1500 years ago when the Hohokam Indians built irrigation canals, farmed, and possibly visited Chaco Canyon over in New Mexico to trade with other indigenous people coming up from Central America? Sadly, my head is full of images of Indians on horses yelping while shooting arrows at cowboys, which always won when it comes to movies.

El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

Now, just because the surface of things might be blemished by events that occurred deep in history, that doesn’t make us accountable for the flow of nature and how the world was evolving. Maybe what affected the variations that occurred in this sandstone were anomalies, and for some viewers of these artifacts, the uniformity of what their expectations informed them to appreciate is not being met here, but for others, this is a mark of perfection. What I mean to say is that ugly things certainly happened in our recent histories, but that doesn’t imply we’ll be perpetuating those poor behaviors; if we are, that’s a different matter. If we fail to address those who would bring intentional harm to people, places, and things that we should know better through reasoning, then our complicity in inflicting damage is an issue we must face and suffer the consequences of our own gross stupidity.

Junior Ranger Caroline Wise at El Morro National Monument, New Mexico

On the other hand, we can all quite easily celebrate the potential good within us when we slow down, take the time to get out of our routine, and maybe even do something that’s not altogether easy. From creating a grueling travel itinerary that promises to bring us to difficult junctures to those delightful moments when, after completing a junior ranger booklet, Caroline is awarded a badge that affirms she’s learned something more about the place we just invested so much in being at.

Ancient Way Cafe in Ramah, New Mexico

Time for a pause in the philosophy of participation and awareness; our stomachs needed to take the stage. Our expectations were low out here in Ramah, New Mexico, population 505; how good might a meal be in a town this small? Off the chart is the answer. The Ancient Way Cafe served us Reuben and BBQ brisket sandwiches that were nothing less than terrific; we skipped the potato chips, opting for a salad, and then, against our better judgment, we considered dessert. Really, nothing, in particular spoke to us, but a sweet sounded nice after our morning hike; plus, we are on vacation. With serious reluctance, we agreed on their apple pie ala mode but not just any apple pie but New Mexico style, meaning it came with pine nuts and green chili. No way, fresh apples, spicy chilies, not a lot of sugar, and an awesome crust. This required a couple of cups of coffee so we could kick back and enjoy this unexpected luxury. There is no doubt in our minds that this will be the best pie we have this year as it’s easily the best pie we’ve had in years.

A perfect start to the morning, a perfect hike, perfect weather, and a perfect lunch all lend appreciation to our basking in the incredible where the horizon only holds more promise of great things. Sure, we could choose to see the cost of gasoline, lodging, and food as being impediments to enjoying these moments, but those are small consequences of using our time to find something more meaningful within ourselves that also works to further cement the intense relationship we share.

Caroline Wise at El Malpais National Monument Visitor Center in Grants, New Mexico

We jump-started Sunday by making the nearly hour-long drive to Grants, New Mexico up on Interstate 40 to dip into the El Malpais National Monument Visitor Center. By collecting the junior ranger booklet today, we’d be able to drop it off in the morning tomorrow to avoid backtracking up north instead of starting our trek home to the southwest. It’s not that we’d be in a hurry to rush home come Sunday, but by being able to retain the 90 minutes we might lose by needing to return to Grants, we’d have more opportunity to linger in the areas we might find attractive. Regarding this park and how to pronounce its name, we just learned this today: the park service says it is spoken this way: ehl MAHL-pye-EES.

Grants, New Mexico

Interstate 40 was a culture killer. The small businesses that once lined the legendary Route 66 have been devastated. Driving through Grants is a great example of what is lost when progress demands that speed and efficiency rule the day, which, to be fair, should be expected when projections of traffic would overwhelm the previous roadway. Without economic assistance after the interstate came in, many small businesses shut down, and their properties were left to rot as sad reminders of a romantic age following World War II, when Americans ventured into parts of their country they may have only seen in the movies. Our elderly relatives who stayed in quaint motels with air conditioning, phones in the room, and swimming pools after a day of driving nearly 50 mph before stopping at the trading posts and diners along the way were building mythologies of the Great American Road Trip. Today, many of those roads are within what we refer to as fly-over states as commercial aircraft made it cheaper to fly between Des Moines and Las Vegas. Off-ramps where cars and trucks rapidly decelerate from 80mph are now the surviving stops along America’s highways where people dip in for refueling, a cup of coffee, and some fast food from one of the available drive-thrus. And all this from the guy who’d like to brag about a lack of nostalgia.

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

In trying to bring more detail to these posts, I often spend no small amount of time researching something or other about a particular location, in this instance, our next trail called El Calderon. I’m expecting somebody’s name, or maybe the word is related to the caldera, but what was nearly at the top of the list was the urban dictionary definition that brought a nice chuckle to my inner-14-year-old immature self; it reads: noun 1. A large, cavernous asshole similar to the caldera in a volcano; a hot, steamy, wide vagina. Example: Diarrhea erupted out of Erick’s Calderon like hot magma out of a volcano. Yep, I can see that in my photo.

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

Well, this is an uncomfortable transition as I’m not able to muster an idea of how I go from the previous subject reference to talking about the beauty of lichen. I just searched the 2,870 published blog posts I’ve written over the years and see that I’ve written about lichen some 30 other times. I’m not going to take the time right now to read those posts as though I might discover some essence of lichen I’ve not yet shared. As a matter of fact, I hope that someone reading this might call me out for grasping at nothing to cover that I have nothing to say about this lichen growing on volcanic scoria rock.

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

The lava tubes are off-limits here during our visit; seems that they might be forever off-limits. In the case of the bat cave, which is the hole straight ahead, due to a host of human impacts on the colony, we are no longer welcome lest we extinct them. To the left of this image in the same depression is the Xenolith cave, which requires a permit to visit, though I think those are currently not available.

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

We’ve entered the El Calderon cinder cone, and while there’s a certain cool factor, there’s also an accompanying pucker factor. Sure, these loose cinders have been relatively stable for 115,000 years by now, but how does one ever really know when the steep slopes of a volcanic cone might crumble in a landslide, dragging trees, cinders, and John to the bottom of the cone?

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

Frightened as I was, walking on millions of tiny hard rocks that seemed to shift with every step, I made it up to the rim trail.

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

Looking out over the cone rim, I quickly ascertained that nature would be intent on taking my life today if I dared venture out upon the edge. I was freaking out as it was, walking on cinders contained by these meager pieces of wood that offered me little in the sense of personal security. I could see across the way an invitation to join the abyss as I was certain to slip on my fear.

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

Oh yeah, flat land. Not only was this path going to bring us back to the parking lot, but it would also allow us bragging rights about that day we were out on the Continental Divide Trail; who cares that it would only be one mile of the 3,100 mile total?

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

As ejecta leave the comfort of the netherworld and come to fly through the air or flow upon the surface of Earth, the escaping gases leave these holes, and it is this kind of volcanic rock I was referencing when I wrote of lichen growing upon scoria, a few photos above.

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

We’ve been out here among the trees and volcanic debris, falling in love with how beautiful it all is, how isolated we feel as there’s nobody else on the 5.6-mile trail with us, and how lucky we are to even want to be in these types of places. And though we are approaching 1o miles and our feet are tiring, we really don’t want the trail to end.

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

Going into this, we had no idea that New Mexico had an official state grass, but it turns out that this Blue Grama is, in fact, the grass that holds that distinction.

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

Should we jump on it or crawl under it? Caroline wanted nothing to do with either idea, well, neither did I…until I saw that on the left side, there was a hole that would make for an interesting framing of her face if she got up in there. Still a big nope. Was it the chance of snakes being under there or that I might walk over the volcano bridge trying to scare her that she stayed away?

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

Oooh, am I looking at filaments of fungi colonized by cyanobacteria? You betchya. While the species looking at this lichen (me, the human) has been walking the earth for about 2 million years, and this particular example of its creatures will likely only be here for about 80 years, there are lichens on our planet that have been dated to 8,600 years old. The descendants of this composite organism have existed for between 250 – 480 million years with some controversial research suggesting that forms of lichen might have existed over 2 billion years ago. Not that this stuff really matters, but in some sense, this is like time travel, where, right before our faces, we are able to look into the proverbial faces of a living thing that predates everything else around us.

And then totally unrelated (unless you are interested in the appearance of life on this planet), but one of those facts (unless you are a fundamentalist) that piques my sense of aha-ness is how, while looking at the lichen, I consider what my wife shared with me last week. She said, “Isn’t it strange to think that sharks have been swimming in the ocean since before there were trees?” There’s a species that survived planetary cataclysm, extinctions including that of the dinosaurs, and ice ages, but it might not survive us because humans hate sharks and would rather eat or kill them instead of allowing them to coexist. Oh, you want to remind me that we are doing the same with wolves and bears? For the sake of life here on earth, lichen can consider itself lucky that we’ve not figured out how to make bullets small enough to wipe it out.

Maybe my point is that while we are allowed to fall into the magnificence of nature, it seems we are just as happy to have our eyes glued to television screens, our minds stuck on the shenanigans and crimes of celebrity and politics, and our souls bound to the lies we tell each other for the cause of making money and busy work so we don’t explore deeper questions of existence. So what is smarter, lichen or the two-legged idiots that would burn the planet to a crisp if it made madmen richer and eternally famous?

Caroline Wise and John Wise on the El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

Jeez, what am I thinking when all I really want to do is finish this post so I can move further down the metaphorical trail here days after we left the literal trail called El Calderon? As I typed the last period after three paragraphs and 385 words above, which are just a small part of the over 4,500 words of this post that will never be read, I have to wonder why I didn’t just break it up to fill the spaces below. There’s an easy answer here that goes like this: writing allows me to linger in the experience of walking in the infinity of potential enjoyed beyond the confines of time and space we typically live in while in the routine of life. Out here, everything is blooming, happening, sparkling, and emerging before our senses. So the longer I dwell here with the images cementing memories of what might have otherwise passed, I’m still hiking in the woods with the smiling-faced human seen here in this photo among the lichen, trees, bugs, scoria, blue grama, and a trillion other things we missed.

El Calderon Trail at El Malpais National Monument in New Mexico

I’m starting to see a trend with these travel blog posts, specifically, Saturdays, where I pen this monumental screed that is likely quite duplicative of what preceded it. Don’t worry, though; I won’t give up writing about each and every trip we take this year, regardless of how repetitive I might be. I’m not too worried that I’ll write verbatim what’s been written before, but what choice do I have other than plagiarizing myself? Hmmm, I’m not cutting and pasting elements from those previous missives, so technically, I’m not really plagiarizing myself, but is there a word for being so thematically similar that it might sound like I’ve said it all before? Not to be indignant but even if I were redundant, who f’ing cares? I will forever know things about my life shared with Caroline that will remain vibrantly alive in our shadow years, where the glow of memories will be inching ever closer to darkness and my ultimate demise. The sun may be setting, but our enthusiasm to set out on yet another trail is not diminishing, and my desire to capture some tiny intrinsic part of what made a day special is still running full steam ahead.

And so I write, trying to catch those elusive rays that illuminate not just the day but our continuing appreciation of the world and each other. This is all nothing more than the next installment in the saga of love, love of nature, love of sound, scent, hands, smiles, and the most tender moments found when love appears as golden as what lies ahead on the horizon of where we are yet to travel.

Family Time – Day 3

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Sometimes, when trying to write a blog post, the first words can be the most difficult to come but that’s only because I head into something not having any real idea about what I want to say. The two previous entries were about our approach to the Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge and our time amongst the birds and other creatures. Today, we’ll be heading home, but before we start on that leg of our weekend journey, we’re obviously right back where we were yesterday.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Nothing here is exactly the way it was, ever. If only we could understand that the sky, clouds, light, temperature, and the configuration of all things are in constant motion, never duplicating what was, maybe we’d break out of the lament of perceived routines required to participate with the machine of making money.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Maybe birds, too, wonder why they have to continuously return to bodies of water where they have to float in an icy bed, get up at the break of dawn, and fly to yet another location to find food, only to do it all over again. Then, after months of this routine, they have to fly over 3,500 miles (5,600km) to the Arctic, where within 5 miles of water, they establish another home base and keep up the grind of sleep, fly, eat, fly, sleep as though it was the worst job ever.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Things aren’t all bad as a bird, well, except for those situations where a hunter might shoot you, a wolf or coyote could eat you, or maybe a fox or owl could steal your child while it’s still an egg, but other than that things are pretty good. The average snow goose has the best views ever for sunrise and sunset; they poop at will with no need or concern for what’s below, they fly for free to any damn place they want, and if they spot some food, they swoop in to eat without a thought of cost. If they are lucky, they’ll experience up to 20 years of this carefree life of flying over half the planet pooping, eating, and breeding while we idiot bipeds below grimace at our stupid life choices and servitude at some meaningless task that barely affords us the opportunity to sleep under a roof and poop in a toilet.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

I’d probably not enjoy being plucked out of the purple and red waters of dawn on some winter day by the nearby eagle looking to make a meal of something, but I would like to know the freedom to paddle across the surface of a lake or pond and fish for grasses and worms in the muck before taking flight to skim above the surface of calm waters and finally settling down to float under the noonday sun.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

To some very small degree, Caroline and I are fortunate enough to live like birds, albeit flightless ones. That’s right, at least as far as I’m concerned, I poop where it occurs to me, which includes while driving around or standing here taking photos of flocks of geese under the morning sky. While I eschew worms and grasses, I’m not beyond hotdogs and kimchi. Our migration instincts toss us west to east, sometimes north, rarely south, but we are open to planetary exploration. Caroline may have been born with eggs but we’ve chosen not to fertilize them so foxes and owls do not become pests in our desires for a good life.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Regarding our limitation of not being able to take spontaneous flight, we do own a Kia Niro that allows us to jump in and race over the surface of the earth, which might be equated to something akin to chicken-like behavior as they, too, are denied flight although they are birds. Then again, they’d never be able to control the steering wheel or reach the gas pedal, so maybe that was a bad analogy.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Thinking again about my poor metaphor disguised as an analogy, I have to consider that my reader might think this is a silly exercise, but how many of them have allowed their children to believe reindeer take flight, pulling a fat man and sled to millions of homes to drop presents under a dead tree decorated with festive and expensive ornamentation? So, you cynics out there, how about you try to read my nonsense as ornaments upon my writing where, without much left to share about the joys of birdwatching on a cold winter day with gorgeous skies, I reach for the absurd instead of sharing how we tucked in around the tree and television for cookies as we watched Miracle on 34th Street for the 23rd time.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Speaking of Miracle on 34th Street, did you know that Richard Attenborough, who played Kris Kringle in that 1947 film, was the older brother of Sir David Attenborough, who might have provided his voice-over talent to these very geese at some time in their lives? Don’t forget that geese can live 20 years covering a vast area of our planet, so what I’m suggesting isn’t totally impossible, though possibly improbable.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

With all the birds gone, we, too, were ready to make ourselves gone.

On the road in Western New Mexico

After the obligatory stop at El Camino Family Restaurant for yet more steak Tampico and the ladies ordering Egg Mexicanos for the umpteenth time, we were ready to head down the long road towards home somewhere out there in the distance.

Regarding our reading of Lord of Dark Places by Hal Bennett that we started on Christmas Eve, well, we finished it all right, or should I say it finished us.

Family Time – Day 2

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Darkness and cold greeted us as we left our hotel, but the tradeoff was arriving at Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge at the cusp of daybreak. We’ve been here before when it was even colder and the pond we are standing next to was frozen over. But who cares about some chilly weather when already knowing what to expect, we dressed appropriately in order to brave whatever the day had to offer us. The beautiful early morning reflections are not the primary reasons we are here adjacent to the White Sands Missle Range on the Rio Grande River.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Birds, we are here for birds, lots of them. This early, while finding our place in the Refuge, we are not specifically looking for sandhill cranes yet; that’s them standing over their reflections. Nope, we have other birds in our sights. If these first two images above were the best I would have captured while making this visit, I could have gone home happy to have experienced such beautiful sights.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

But we weren’t done witnessing the extraordinary, and then again, who would have driven 450 miles (725km) for only 10 minutes of such things? Not us; we were here to milk nature in order to imbibe this intoxicating mixture of elements from the sky, water, creatures, plants, dirt, sound, smell, and feel. Stirring this all to life was a still-invisible giant ball of fire which was sending us hints like the image above that it was on its way back, just like the snow geese.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

For a good half hour, the snow geese flew in from various corners around the refuge. For reasons beyond our human brains, these bird-brained elegant animals capable of flight choose to congregate here on this lake right before us. They squawk and chatter in a secret language to which the cranes don’t seem to pay any attention, but I do. I want to know what they are saying because after enough of them have come together in a giant love puddle of snow gooseness, they hatch a masterplan that is executed in an instant with a precision that boggles my mind.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

That instant arrives when thousands of snow geese launch themselves off the water and into the sky on their way to points across the landscape to forage for food that their advanced eye-sight is able to glean in ways that insinuate that my own vision might be inferior.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Into the fiery sky, they disperse while we, who will never know what the freedom of self-powered flight is like, stand in awe, gawking at the spectacle of a giant flock of birds.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

In a flash, only the cranes remain.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Well, not only the cranes, as incredible beauty continued hanging out with us hearty travelers who were trying our best to absorb every bit of the visual symphony the scenery was wrapping us in.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Hey, rogue goose, where has your flock gone or are you going solo taking your own path?

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Don’t hesitate to note the important stuff, as some knowledge is transitory, like these birds flying across the scene. What I’m trying to say is that I think we might be at another pond at this point, but I can’t be certain. I’ve looked at the landmarks in the background, but I’m at a loss to find any specificity of location. Does it really matter?

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

I’ll go out on a limb and claim that this murmuration of blackbirds are starlings, but if they really are, I can’t really know.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Sure, the grasses are brown, gold, reddish, and kind of yellow in a palette of fall and winter hues, as are the leafless dormant trees passing through this season, but should you choose to see stagnation, lack of life, or a general sort of dullness, you might be missing the bigger picture. On closer view, the landscape is full of potential and hints of what was in the months leading up to this perfect moment. To be honest, I, probably like you, find particular beauty in scenes such as what is pictured in the very top photo above, but I’d have to attribute that to the rarity of those sights found at dawn. Those early moments at the beginning of the day or the final glow of the last remnants after the sun has dipped below the horizon typically last less than an hour, while the midday light will remain with us for many hours, bathing what we look at in light that isn’t so nuanced and transitory.

Sadly, I can hardly see what personal details and characteristics wild animals have to offer aside from their presence. Obviously, I can tell babies and juveniles from adults, but I cannot comprehend the rarity of them in this environment as I can when relying on photographs where the aging process and choice in clothes convey what stage or point in life the person was. While Jane Goodall was lucky enough to live with apes long enough to identify their personalities and people who have pets learn those animals’ characteristics, I cannot take up a spot here at the refuge where I might encounter the same snow goose or crane on a day to day basis. Instead, I’m stuck with these two loons.

And for loons, there’s only one place to eat while in Socorro, New Mexico and that’s right here at the El Camino Family Restaurant where little more than 12 hours ago we had dinner. Then, in another 8 or 9 hours from now, we’ll be right back here for dinner again, but right now, on this wonderful Christmas morning, we are grabbing breakfast.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

We’d discussed heading north to visit the Salinas Pueblo Missions National Monument series of church ruins but instead opted to return to the Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge (by the way, Bosque is pronounced “bohs-kee” in these parts. We came back for some of the trails we’d never walked before.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

And the man said unto nature, “We humans, in our generosity, have carved out this fraction of the domain your ancestors once knew, but we are not heartless to your plight of a shrinking domain, so here, take this river bottomland we are not interested in and call this home.” Up here on this cliffside, we assumed our perch over the kingdom of creatures so we might better sense the rule of all that is below. This is the joy of being GODS.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

So, if you are the god you so arrogantly claim, how about you demonstrate that lofty position and chow down on this yummy cactus paddle as the javelinas do?

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Or might you be so humble as to organize the atomic and molecular structure of the universe to produce plants just like the force of evolutionary nature does?

Oh, I see how it is; we are here to sow destruction, create entertainment that satisfies our boredom of being horrifically aware of our existence, and steal what we can from all that is or might be as it feeds our sense of superiority. The depth required to be true creators and stewards is elusive to our puny-spirited population of idiots. But not us; we are here on Christmas Day to tread lightly, eschew entertainment and the consumerist experience to find the enchantment nature is putting on display in crazy abundance, delight in this brief moment of existence, and through it all, we hope that we’ve not intruded upon the potential of other life to indulge in another perfect day too.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

While we were here at the Bosque, we walked along, chatted, and obviously took a significant number of photos, maybe too many. Then again, these images capture precisely the world as it looked to us, and as such, they appear unique as they coincide with our memories, whereas someone else’s photo taken on a different day won’t strike the same notes as these will. True, there are images I’ll share here that fail to readily demonstrate in an apparent way why I thought there was something extraordinary about the view and would certainly fail to compel someone else to walk in our footsteps, but they sing to my memories. As others go into their unfolding world using the luxury of digital photography and even a rudimentary ability to write, I’d like to encourage people to record their world in this slow medium, meaning not using video, and then, years down the road revisit these documents and appreciate just how amazing your own memory is in bringing you back to something that might have otherwise been long forgotten.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Hello, future recollections of that day back at the end of 2021 when Caroline, Jessica, and I strolled through this wildlife refuge under fluffy white clouds set against a deep blue sky, and with the sounds of birds in our ears, we just walked along with nowhere else to be.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Maybe in that sense, we were much like these deer who couldn’t have cared about the larger world outside of their immediate experience. They were in the moment having deer thoughts and doing deer things just as we were having human moments doing human things, totally unconcerned with what was happening in the larger outside world beyond being right here.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Screwbean mesquite is a species of the tree that, as far as I can determine with 2 minutes of research on Google, will have that mesquite flavor desired by grillers across the southwest. As for the beans, I’m going to invite Caroline during her editing of this post to learn about the cooking potential they might have and share what she finds. [Screwbean mesquite pods are edible, particularly ground into flour that is gluten-free and nutrient-rich. However, other mesquite species are said to be more flavorful. – Caroline]

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

The Rio Viejo trail follows a former riverbed of the Rio Grande that’s now on the other side of a berm to our far left. In its stead is this trail, the screwbean mesquite trees, along with a bunch of cottonwoods. At this time of day, though, there weren’t many birds here.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

But there was a group of javelina coming out of the nearby brush, and as we stood silently, allowing them to do and go about their business, they slowed down, checked us out, and continued on their way.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

We counted eight javelinas in this squadron (I looked that up). Walking out of the bush and prior to sensing us, they were preoccupied foraging for whatever it was they were sampling from the forest floor. I’m guessing we were afforded the close encounter with these peccaries due to the direction the wind was blowing, but when they got within about 20 feet of us, they’d stop, and while looking straight at us, their snouts started frantically wiggling as though they were evaluating the potential threat in front of them that they likely could barely see. Lucky us, we could see them all quite clearly, but unfortunately, they never were in the right position for us to gather a good sniff of their musky stink that earned them the nickname skunk pigs.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

We’ve continued up the dirt road going north to position ourselves near the Coyote Deck. From here, we’ll just hang out a good long while before continuing the loop toward where our day began.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

From corners far and wide, the geese are heading back to the safety of the ponds where they can pull up their pillows and get some rest, safe from the coyotes that would gladly make feasts of the abundance of these feathery treats.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Just as we were about to head back to the hotel so we could catch something or other on TV, maybe some football, even more birds came flying in. Don’t you just hate it when you know there’s something worthwhile on the television and nature keeps interrupting you from getting back to the important stuff, like watching all of those old Christmas movies you’ve already seen dozens of times before because It’s a Wonderful Life is just that great? Yeah, well, I was being cheeky, and although it’s Christmas day and the romantic drivel of consumer-driven merrymaking is supposed to be all the rage along with this fakey nostalgia for such ugly, repetitive nonsense, I’d rather tell you to go stuff yourself regarding traditions…watching wild birds in the air rocks while roasted geese on your table are sad and tragic, just like your pathetic lives in front of idiot boxes.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Everything in that paragraph above was written by my wife, Caroline, against my wishes as I would never take such Scrooge-like digs at this Great American Holiday, which represents the best of what we have to offer as a free and decent people. As a matter of fact, I regret that we skipped out of Phoenix for years so we could avoid my mother during Thanksgiving, as who wanted to be part of that shit show?

Editors Note: Again, my wife has taken certain liberties with this last sentence to make me appear as some kind of crude curmudgeon with a broken sentimentality organ. I would never talk ill of the dead.

Note of Truth: Okay, so I take full responsibility for all of the text in this post, but after writing for the 28 photos that preceded this descent into farce, I just couldn’t come up with nice flowery things to continue rambling about the refuge and our delight at being here. So, I took a tangent, but after 2,000 words and so many photos, there’s NO WAY anyone is still reading this; even the Google indexing algorithm probably dipped out about a thousand words ago.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Hey John, instead of turning this obviously wonderful experience into a tragic parody of some poorly executed attempt at humor, why not just delete some photos, consolidate the text, and make this easier on all of us? My best answer is, when I was choosing photos in the days leading up to the point I’d start writing, I was certain that I required every single photo I’d chosen because each had the potential to be great if only I could add some meaningful poetic musings to elevate them. Instead, I’ve, in effect, maligned the magnificence of these cranes, some geese, too, as I channeled grumpy John.

Then again, do I really look all that grumpy? By the way, my daughter used to have the world’s stinkiest feet. We recently learned it could have been due to a type of bacteria that apparently also affects dogs, so if I were a betting man, I’d say my weird-ass daughter likely played footsy with her dogs back when they were still alive. I point out their life status as after staying with her in more than a few hotel rooms this year; we’ve not had one gacking moment, not even a little one. That’s my daughter in the middle for those of you who don’t know, and maybe I should also point out finally that she blogs, occasionally as poorly as I do, over at TheJessicaness.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Bright golden grass growing out of the shallow waters of this pond with the sun setting couldn’t be left behind. Writing that, I can’t help but think about how often I have wanted to leave my daughter and her rotting feet behind, but something compelled me to keep dragging her along. Ha, no, that didn’t happen; she’s married, and lucky for me, her husband Caleb somehow adapted to enduring the wretched stench of a magnitude compared to which even my farts smelled subtle and nearly insignificant. But enough of this airing of dirty feet on my eloquent and lovely blog I’m soiling with remembering my daughter just this way on Christmas; I’ll move on, I swear.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Sunset is coming, which means we are about to leave for dinner, and I have nothing else to say.

Bosque del Apache near Socorro, New Mexico

Really, nothing. Okay, here’s a Merry Christmas, but that’s it.

Family Time – Day 1

Caroline Wise, Jessica Aldridge, and John Wise on the road in Arizona

What is the problem with these women I’m traveling with? We are delving into the depths of hell, and they smile while my look of incredulity (not to be confused with uncertainty if my fart was wet) is signaling that something is wrong in this car we are currently in. I’ve said it before, and I should say it again: driving is no excuse to stop taking selfies in a moving vehicle, even if that selfie requires multiple takes and posing.

My original plan saw us leaving Phoenix at 9:30 for the road eastward that would bring us to Miami, Arizona, and the fine Mexican cuisine found at Guayo’s El Rey, specifically their carne asada, which is probably the best I’ve ever had. By leaving at 9:30, we’d arrive as they opened the doors at 11:00; well, we didn’t get out until shortly after 11:00 because I got stuck conversing with an old friend at the coffee shop into which we were dipping for 2 minutes in order to grab coffees for the road. It turned out that we were all finished with our coffees before we ever got underway.

Out near Safford, Arizona

Hey, what’s this hell you speak of? First things first, lunch was amazing, and with stomachs stuffed full, we were back out on Highway 60, driving east through heavy rain until we reached Highway 70 and continued towards Lordsburg, New Mexico. Somewhere out on the San Carlos Apache Indian Reservation, the clouds started breaking up, and near Safford, Arizona, we were treated to dramatic skies and this small bit of rainbow.

Last night (or was it this morning?), we finally decided on our reading material for this road trip: Lord Of Dark Places by Hal Bennett. Mind you that Caroline and I are currently immersed in Marcel Proust’s In Search of Lost Time, but dropping Jessica right into the middle of that book (we’ve already finished Swann’s Way, which is Part 1 of 5) would be unfair to her as it takes some time to get into the flow of this tome of flowery prose, so we opted to start something else.

Out near Safford, Arizona

Something else is an appropriate description of Lord of Dark Places. I first heard of this book from YouTuber Cliff Sergeant, who publishes under the channel titled Better Than Food.

Out near Safford, Arizona

Lord of Dark Places opens rough and becomes jagged quickly. Glimmers of light are not to be found under the gloom as the horizon is filling with carnage and depravity. I am reluctant to share that we’d even read this or would be willing to mention the name of this gut-puncher, but the incredible writing pulls you forward like a log being dragged into a buzzsaw. While I’ve now given this nod to Lord of Dark Places, I find myself unable to share much more than the fact that we could barely travel more than a couple of minutes before the next stretch of rough, cringy road was encountered and, obviously, I’m not referring to the road on which we are driving east.

Jessica Aldridge in Duncan, Arizona

Here we are ten years after Jessica, and I passed through here on a day trip out of Phoenix at the very same truck in Duncan, Arizona, in which she sat as part of a short story that was included in a book we put together for her during a spring break.

Somewhere in southwest New Mexico

We are near the state border with New Mexico and still fully entrenched and mesmerized with the book that continues to deliver body blows to our senses, though the aesthetics of what is unfolding couldn’t be more real.

Somewhere in southwest New Mexico

Day is about to give way to night, and the delay from the poor weather earlier is impacting what time we thought we’d arrive in Socorro, but we should make it in time.

Jessica Aldridge in Socorro, New Mexico

It’s 8:30 as we pull into a parking spot at the El Camino Family Restaurant in Socorro, New Mexico. While Jessica was just here with me back in August, Caroline hasn’t been here in years. It’s been said countless times before, but this New Mexican version of Denny’s is our favorite roadside stop for breakfast or dinner while we are visiting the western side of the state. Getting in at this time was nearly too late as the kitchen now stops taking orders at 9:15; sadly, prior to the pandemic, this place was open 24/7.

Today’s journey across the desert, while beautiful, was overshadowed by the power and depravity found in Lord of Dark Places and the places it brought us to. We won’t have a lot of time in the book on Christmas day as we have other plans that won’t see us on the road very much, but having gotten halfway through it, we should be able to finish it on the way home. As for my Steak Tampico here at El Camino? I’m never disappointed with the same thing I have every time we eat here.