Stay In The Magic – Day 1

Caroline Wise and John Wise on the far right about to raft the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

Here we are, standing on the beach. The shore is buzzing with activity as seven river guides and two helpers finish preparing four dories and three supply rafts for our imminent departure. A few hours earlier, 13 adventurous men and women were climbing out of warm, cozy beds at a hotel in Flagstaff, Arizona. After breakfast, my wife Caroline and I walked outside to find our fellow passengers, two vans, and two of the guides who were there to ensure we were packed and ready to go. With our waterproof bags loaded into the vans, we piled our sense of excitement on board and took a seat, ready to be delivered to the Colorado River for a launch into the experience of a lifetime.

Lees Ferry, where the Colorado enters the Grand Canyon, is the point designated by the National Park Service as the northern boundary of America’s 15th National Park. We are at mile zero, the put-in location for all craft that depart this shore to shuttle the entrant souls through the approaching funnel of time and history. Can one be prepared for this? Absolutely, for if you find yourself here with a figurative boarding pass in hand, you have already made the biggest decision in getting ready to discover the unknown. We will not leave the way we came in. Fate will play its hand.

Bruce Keller on the One Eyed Jack Dory in the Grand Canyon

I am about to be enrapt by this Grandest of Canyons. Naïveté will attempt to stand guard against the emotional onslaught the river is going to deliver, but it too will be washed away by the force of nature residing here. The naive me of moments ago will disappear as an unimaginable future me emerges 225.9 miles downstream.

Trip leader Rondo Buecheler grabs our attention with the commands, “Do as we say, don’t panic, tighten those straps, get on board, and put your stuff in the hatch.” I clamber aboard the dory named Sam McGee, Jeffe Aronson’s rig, heading up front where I was directed, while Caroline sits in the back. I make a quick inventory of Jeffe’s dory and get to packing my gear into the cramped hatch in the bow. A pump and a hose are on my left; easy enough to figure this is for draining either the footwell or one of the three watertight compartments that are supposed to keep our dory afloat when the rest of the boat is full of water. Thick woven straps are firmly attached to the forward compartment, forming handles. We are to grasp one of these and the gunwale to form a triangulated grip that will stop us from being thrown from side to side, hopefully keeping us in the boat, too. Between the straps is a level, which at first glance appears to be a decoration but instead proves to be quite useful. This small feature allows the boatmen to quickly determine if we are in trim, as a balanced dory is easier to control in whitewater.

It’s 10:30 in the morning, and we are going down this river starting right about now. Hey, wait a minute, I hardly know what is going on! We’ve chased around, listened to safety briefings, donned life jackets, and now magically, I’m prepared to embark on this monumental trip, just like that? But these words are only beginning to form in my mind, long before they are able to find utterance from my gaping mouth, as we approach our first riffle at the confluence of the Colorado and the Paria Rivers. IT’S HUGE. Are we gonna get wet? This water is 46 chilly degrees, right? Hypothermia, get ready to embrace me. I triangulate my white-knuckle grip on the gunwale and that measly strap flimsily attached to the matchstick boat I foolishly paid all that money to ride on, and now I’m facing my own untimely demise as a raging riffle is about to have its way on my pitiful being. We are not riding the rails of the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland; this can’t be the first time the reality of the situation we bargained for is dawning on me, or can it?

Passing under the Navajo Bridge on the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

Ah, a riffle, kind of like a ripple. Okay, I get it; I thought that looked a lot bigger from back there. I’m cool, phew. I release my grip, allowing color to return to my knuckles, and blood flows back into my lips, pressed together tightly, concealing clenched teeth.

The tension remains high; my senses are fully alert. Moving away from the open expanse of Lees Ferry, we are surrounded by the encroaching walls that will hug the river for the majority of the 18 days we’ll be in the Canyon. I am overwhelmed by the idea that after almost a year of waiting and anticipation, Caroline and I are now on the Colorado, in the Grand Canyon, floating downstream on a dory. Hit by an explosion of details, we are dwarfed under the rising cliffs that are stretching to the sky.

To the right and left, the river flows past rock millions of years old. I look up to the sky and then deep into the Canyon before me. I listen to the water running underneath us and to Jeffe, who has started pointing to sights deserving of my attention. I try to hold on to the many sounds disappearing behind me that are being replaced by the music of a river carving a symphony through the landscape ahead.

Each moment is a new sensation, jolting me to focus on what has just appeared before us. I look for fish below and birds above. With deep breaths, I try to smell the few scents that might be found on a cold river running through a vast desert, but little is familiar. Jagged rocks and broken cliffs offer up an indecipherable geometry that is adding complexity to my ability to try and understand the forms of unfolding geologic architecture designed by the hand of nature. How do time and weather create what amounts to visual noise that a human mind looking for order is able to find so enchantingly delightful?

No, really, we’re just 30 minutes downstream? Wow, that leaves a lot more to see; not sure I’m ready for so much looking and seeing. Are you boatmen sure it’s safe to expose the mind to so much intensity all in one hour, one day? Jeffe assures me I am fine. No kidding, more beauty, more adventure, more everything lies ahead? I should brace myself.

Canyon wall and Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

The Colorado flows at little more than a leisurely three miles per hour on calm stretches – a snail’s pace. As slow as this is, we are soon passing under the Navajo Bridge. To date, Caroline and I had only driven over this crossing and, on rare occasions, stood on it while watching rafting trips pass below. Today, we are that trip floating by. We have traveled barely five miles since putting in, and I am at once troubled that we have already gone so far, leaving only 220 miles to go, and then again ecstatic that we still have 220 miles to go. How do I slow this rocket sled to allow careful examination and mental inventorying of every square inch I gaze upon?

The unspeakable beauty and infinite detail one sees in the first six miles alone is worthy of a book of poetic observations that should be capable of transporting our spirit to the lofty heights only nature is able to attain. Instead, I offer up a faint murmur of “wow” as I shrink under the Canyon’s epistle of light and gravity spilling into every atom of my being.

Jeffe puts just enough work into the oars to present the world of the Grand Canyon in slow motion – which may still be a little too fast. Good thing the sky is overcast – it offers me a great excuse for not snapping off hundreds of photos per hour. If I wasn’t afraid that this was most likely going to be my one and only trip down the Colorado, I might consider putting the camera away for the duration to allow myself to fall into the lazy mode of the observer. Instead, I feel the need for a record to spark what might someday be a failing memory of how, indeed, Caroline and I had once participated in traveling the muddy red waters of one of America’s greatest rivers.

View within the Grand Canyon from the Colorado River

We are approaching midday. As if reading my thoughts, the boatmen land their vessels onshore and, with programmed precision, jump into action, making lunch. A blue tarp is stretched out on the sand to capture food scraps, keeping the beach clean for those who will follow us. Waterproof food buckets are extracted from hatches, and a table emerges from some hidden corner to be propped up in seconds. Water buckets and a foot pump are quickly put to use for hand washing before a flurry of cutting, opening, slicing, and presenting all the fixings for us passengers and crew to make sandwiches. A potted plant of mums is brought to the table to complete the presentation.

Our waterside picnic must be a first-day treat, as we are offered deli meats, a variety of cheeses, lettuce, tomato slices, red onion, and the luxury of fresh avocado. Apple and orange slices are arranged on a separate table with maybe three different choices of cookies, peanut butter and jelly for those who prefer a PBJ for lunch, and potato chips. With stomachs full, it’s time for the third safety briefing of the day – river and rapid awareness. In a few minutes, we’ll be running Badger Rapid, our first journey into whitewater. Don’t panic if you find yourself in the water; your life jacket will buoy you to the surface in less than two seconds. DON’T PANIC!

Listen to the instructions of your boatman. If he yells, “Right!” you high-side to the right. “Left!” means throw your weight left. This lesson in high-siding is one of the more important reflexes we must adopt and make instinctual. With rigid boats, the weight distribution of the passengers plays a significant role in preventing a dory from flipping over and dumping passengers and boatmen into the turmoil of a rapid. Once again, DON’T PANIC!

Our river guides and their helpers move with purpose to stow things used to make lunch. The mums are hidden away again in one of the sealed compartments of Rondo’s dory. Other than the conversation between boatmen to coordinate what happens next, we passengers are mostly quiet besides the nervous excitement reflected in the expressions we wear. In the final couple of minutes onshore, we adjust our waterproof clothes, tighten drawstrings, and zip jackets up high – maybe believing we can stop the cold water from finding warm skin. Caroline grasps my hand; I squeeze back as we smile at one another with a questioning look that asks, “Are you ready for this?” The boatmen, on the other hand, are calm and casual.

Running Badger Creek Rapid with Jeffe Aronson on the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

Badger Creek Rapid is in sight; it has been since we pulled ashore for lunch. Watching and listening to its roar surely adds to the tension and the excitement I am feeling. Measuring this rapid’s rage is impossible from my perspective on this narrow beach. What Badger is capable of delivering will be known shortly, as the command to get on board has now been given. We are in our seats and holding on. The boatmen nudge the dories back into the flow, and we are off. In mere moments, the accelerating water pulls us into the rapid, where a well-placed oar and quick turn bring us to our first frothy wet kiss from the river. As the bow begins to dip, coursing down with the flow of water before riding up a wave, thoughts of even larger rapids ahead are the furthest thing from my mind. This must be the biggest whitewater ever.

Fear sits with me, but before I’m able to transition to panic, we are entering a rapid that looks as stormy as the sky overhead. The calm, dark green water from Lees Ferry is now a brown, murky, and merciless river. My mind is a racing jumble of doubt, asking, do I have any idea what comes next and what is my role here? The dory lurches into a roll to the left and quickly jolts to the right. My mind forces my eyes to get a lock on the situation, but nothing stays the same long enough for me to grasp what action is required. Less than 45 seconds later we have passed through our first encounter with whitewater unscathed and mostly dry.

The route we travel follows the oar strokes of the first men to row this stretch of the Colorado, the Powell Expedition of 1869. Back then, this was a great unknown; it was unmapped and fraught with danger. Led by one-armed Civil War veteran John Wesley Powell and worked hard by the labor of eight other courageous men, the group toiled under incredibly harsh conditions. A footnote in history was to be the reward for these men who were the first to travel the great river through what is now Grand Canyon National Park. Today, the Canyon and the Colorado are still full of danger, but the environment, as perceived in the minds of people, has changed from a barren wasteland to a fragile ecosystem containing immeasurable beauty enjoyed by visitors from around the world.

Ten Mile Rock in the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

The remaining few miles that we’re on the river today are spent barely rowing at all. We float downstream, the current gently delivering us to an end we know not. A rain, so fine as to easily be confused with a mist, sprinkles ever so delicately on the now-calm Colorado. We drift along. These lazy moments set the mental pace that assures me that it is okay to relax, slow down, and allow what lies ahead to unfold and present itself in its own time. Our influence on the world around us is being eroded. Our anchor to what we think we know will have to be recast, as our sense of place is deconstructed and rebuilt even as we sit here, unaware that this process is at work on all that is within this Canyon, including us.

Floating down the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

The afternoon welcomes my presence while the Canyon ignores it, but I cannot ignore the Canyon. My physical location is easily known, but where else might I be going? Some hours ago, I was filled with anticipation that we were about to begin this journey, but now Lees Ferry is nearly forgotten – full immersion is busy at work. I try my best to find comprehension that not only did I finally arrive today, but that this will be where I will remain for the next weeks. Here, under these massive slabs of earth, I am offered the chance to indulge my curiosity for the mystery of what lies ahead.

Side canyon near Soap Creek in the Grand Canyon

It’s only 4:00 pm as we pull ashore at Soap Creek Camp. Eleven miles is what we have traversed, but it has already been a thousand miles of experience for my memories. Out of the dories, on terra firma, the trance is broken; we passengers scatter to identify the piece of real estate that will be our first home down below the rim. Satisfied that Caroline and I have made the perfect choice, and no better site exists to pitch our tent, we mark the spot as claimed with a dropped bag of gear and join the others who are gathering at the beach for another lesson in how to live in the Canyon.

How does one use the toilet in this place without toilets? Take notice: you are about to be potty trained for river life. At lunch, the lesson regarding number one, pee-pee, urination, or whatever you want to call it, was given; it is done in the river by all of us, men and women alike. There are no trees in the river to hide behind, and don’t cheat and pee on the sand; it will turn green and stink – get it in the water. Men, aim like you mean it; women, try not to get stuck in the mud. This late afternoon lesson deals with number two, the BM, aka defecation. Jeffe is the teacher for those of us uninitiated in the use of “the Unit,” also known as La Pooperia, the Groover, and the toilet if you’d like. First of all, everything that enters the Canyon must leave the Canyon – meaning everything! Next, on the ground beside our boatman, is a World War II-style ammunition can with a cozy toilet seat fixed atop. Jeffe drops his shorts, revealing his wetsuit bottoms, and takes a seat. He shows us a plastic box containing a roll of toilet paper, the key to “the facilities.” Do not hover over the Unit! Boatmen do not want to clean up the ensuing mess because your dainty butt is afraid to make contact with the seat that 21 of us other poopers have perched upon. Do not use the Unit for urination; it adds extra weight and unnecessary volume; there is a plastic bucket next to it that we empty into the river – use that. If the “key” is not sitting at the hand wash station, which is a good distance away, the Unit is occupied. When finished with your business, sprinkle with Clorox Crystals from the bottle conveniently placed next to the can, close the lid, cover with the netting that helps keep pests away, bring back the box of TP to the next in line – and WASH YOUR HANDS!

Once this most important of all lessons has been completed, we’re off to the next subject. Some of you may have never pitched a tent, here is how these work. Get it? Got it? Good. Now, go set up your camp, we leave on a hike up Soap Creek Canyon shortly. School’s out for the day, but the adventure is not. Apparently, my brain has reached a first-day saturation point, causing me to move into befuddlement because Caroline and I hit the trail without our GPS, extra lenses, tripod, a backpack, or waterproof bag for the camera, should it rain. We brought the camera, a water bottle, and nothing else.

Muddy water in the Grand Canyon next to the Colorado River

Glistening mud, pools of red water, slick rock, and wet sand. The muck on our invisible trail quickly tugs at a foot, holding fast, trying to keep the shoe it has captured. The majority of the group is ahead of Caroline and me, racing off somewhere, while our curiosity has us taking a close examination of cracked earth, lichen, and the patterns left on still muddy surfaces by the water that must have been flowing here just a day or two ago. Details in the rocks, eroding fissures in boulders, and the contours of the drainage all present new information to our eyes. They hungrily consume every last morsel of beauty that, even under a gray overcast sky, is a delight to behold.

Rock detail near the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

Before we catch up to the others in our group, they have already turned around and are speeding right back at us. In a blur, they are again out of sight. No one presses us to quicken our pace, and so we meander, lingering to gawk in disbelief that we should be finding ourselves here in the Grand Canyon, taking a hike from off the Colorado River. Two of our boatmen, Steve Kenney and Jeffe bring up the rear, seemingly content to chat with each other and give us our space to be here in our moment.

Deep in the Grand Canyon at sunset

Almost near camp again, a hole opens in the cloud cover, letting the sun pour its late afternoon glow upon a narrow strip of ridgeline far above us. This is in keeping with Caroline’s and my experience that when we are happily traveling together and are accepting what life is delivering, nearly without fail, we will be daily witnesses to at least a fleeting glimpse of blue sky or sun dancing upon a surface, eliciting our oohs and aahs. And so it was as we finished our first hour-and-a-half-long hike from the river into a side canyon.

Dinner is eaten around a blazing campfire. In the kitchen, dory boatman Bruce Keller and Katrina Cornell, who is rowing one of the supply rafts, work the camp stove to prepare tonight’s menu of salmon, asparagus, and a mixed salad. But as good as dinner is, it is a dessert that steals the show – fresh sliced strawberries with shortcake and whipped cream.

The embers of the campfire glow red hot, wisps of golden flame flicker above what remains of the disappearing wood. In quiet disbelief that this was merely the first day, we collectively sat in stunned silence, mesmerized by our experiences and the firelight at the center of our camp circle. Maybe knowing we are incapable of even basic human speech, Jeffe brings over his guitar and, with a wonderful singing voice, begins to heap the icing upon our peach of a day. After half a dozen classic folk songs and a couple of old rock anthems, someone speaks up, remarking that it is already 8:00 pm. Like an alarm working in reverse, this is apparently the cue for the majority of passengers and a few of the crew to peel out of the low-slung canvas chairs and make their way to a tent out in the darkness for a night of sleep. They scamper off, leaving but a small handful of us to wait until the fire exhausts itself.

Dusk from the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

Lucky us, the entertainment continues. On this first night, we are the only two passengers who remain at the camp circle. Caroline and I hover like moths attracted to the light of the fire, not wanting to miss a minute that might prove valuable to filling our wallets with experience. Still sitting next to the fire, Bruce begins reminiscing about previous exotic river journeys from the Tatshenshini-Alsek in Alaska to the Zambezi in Africa before embarking on this humorous story set in another far away land.

We were in Papua New Guinea, where a difficult, windy, wet day had been tormenting the passengers. On the river, us boatmen rowed into a strong headwind where a tropical storm kept everyone in rain gear. The rain wouldn’t relent. By the time the group pulled off the river, the crew got to work setting up the kitchen and wanted to start a fire so our guests could start drying off and find some warmth. The fire pan is on the ground, wood is stacked in a pile, and kindling sits ready as one of the other boatmen attempts to get the fire burning. With the high humidity, rain, and driving wind, it was proving impossible to light the damp kindling. Try as we might, we could not get the spark to catch hold. Off to the side, a couple of the nearly-naked New Guinea men who were along as the local experts, watched in amusement. We continued to toil in frustration. Finally, the tribesmen approached and offered their assistance. One of the men reached into the only thing he was wearing, his penis gourd. From deep within his gourd, he pulled dry kindling and a match and, in a second had enough fire started to get things roaring along.

No one saw that coming, not the folks on the trip that day and not one of us around our campfire. Howls of laughter for the best story of the night erupted.

Campfire on the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

A few minutes later, the remaining boatmen abandon the fire with wishes to rest well before returning to their boats where they will stay for the night. Now facing the dark solitude of the chilling night air alone, we decide to retire as well. Off to our tent, we go. Even with a three-person tent, we are crowded. Waterproof bags and our backpacks compete for space, as we hadn’t realized in our exhaustion that they should have been left outside the tent.

Sleep this evening is fitful. Too hot, too cold. The noise of Soap Creek Rapid is crashing behind our heads, along with the Canyon sounds still unfamiliar to our resting ears. This canyon orchestra works to toss us about and keep us from fully embracing sleep. Mr. Sandman apparently does visit us, but instead of carrying us off to the land of deep slumber, he simply sprinkles the tent and sleeping bags with a bit of sand and is quickly away.

–From my book titled: Stay In The Magic – A Voyage Into The Beauty Of The Grand Canyon about our journey down the Colorado back in late 2010.

Stay In The Magic – Rafting the Colorado River

Caroline Wise at the Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona December 2009

As you don’t have my book in front of you, I need to explain this first entry before getting into the day-by-day journey we made starting back on the 22nd of October 2010. A year earlier, in late November 2009, we signed up with the OARS Company, hoping for a journey down the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon. We were informed that those trips were sold out. Not a few days passed before OARS blasted out an email that they had a cancelation on an October trip; I was on the phone within 60 seconds of receiving it. Informed that this was a dory trip for 18 days, I told the person I was talking with that I had to check with my wife, she too thought that was a good idea. We hadn’t really considered a dory trip down the river as, at $12,000 for the two of us, this would be the most expensive trip we had ever taken.

One of the rules of the company was that we couldn’t pay with a credit card, cash only. I called Caroline, outlining where we could cut costs, and felt comfortable that by July 24th, 2010, we could pay off the more than $10,000 balance we’d have open after making the mandatory $1,500 deposit to reserve two spots for us. Excitedly, she agreed that we should throw caution out the window and go for it. Then, on December 12th, Caroline’s birthday, we drove up to the Grand Canyon, and on a snowy ledge with the Colorado River in the background, we wrote and signed the check.

We changed our diet; cut back on travel, we watched where every penny was going. Not only would we need to save, save, save, but we also had a bunch of things we’d need to buy before we left in October of the next year. I also had a logistical problem to solve as I had and have sleep apnea, which required me to travel with my CPAP. A full breakdown of what that took and looked like was posted the following January in 2011; you can read it by clicking here.

Camp Map in the Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona

The book opens with this image on the first page; it is a map of the camps we stayed at during our trip, starting up at Lees Ferry – Mile Zero. There are many others down in that 226 miles, but these were ours. And then my dedication:

For Caroline Wise…

My wife is the other half of me which allows my senses to fully appreciate the beauty in life. Through our incredible love, life takes on greater depth; it is more profound and more full of passion. In a world of possibility, our horizons appear boundless, even in light of limits to time and all things manifested by our fragile emotions and the uncertainty of physical being. But from my perspective, today is a perfect day to be in hopeless, never-ending love. We are four eyes, two minds, and two smiles dancing through a wondrous life, celebrating its rewards and travails.

Grand Canyon Panorama

When a crack in the earth of our perception opens wide and time dilates our senses, stretching us to a breaking point, when experiencing one more grain of sand threatens our idea of self with certain dissolution, we pull the straps of our mental flotation device tight and hold on. Pray our mind is going to rise above the surface of the swirling maelstrom that is engulfing us. We are now in the Grand Canyon.

And that’s how the book opens. Next up: Day 1 of Stay In The Magic – A Voyage Into The Beauty Of The Grand Canyon.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Stay In The Magic

Ten years ago, I started a blog entry that quickly spiraled out of control and grew so long that it became a book titled Stay In The Magic – A Voyage Into The Beauty Of The Grand Canyon (pictured above). As I went to publish it, I was exhausted with the process and wanted nothing more to do with it, so I never created a digital version for eBook readers, nor did I really share much of anything online about the experience.

Over the next few weeks, I hope to post a chapter a day that will represent each day of the trip down the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon National Park. This was a life-changing moment in Caroline’s and my routine and has played a role in many of our subsequent adventures.

Now that this is becoming a blog entry, it’s going to be extraordinarily long, with 85,000 words and about 300 images. I’ll be doing my best from day to day to keep up with transferring the text and images over here, but I’m not really sure how much work will be involved with this endeavor.

I’m still considering if, at some point, I’ll remove this from being out of sequence on my blog and redate these entries so they fall sequentially into where they belong; maybe I’ll have two copies among the 2,250 blog entries.

My big hope here is that I can avoid cringing at what I wrote so long ago, as I’ve never returned to its pages.

Discomfort

Wupatki National Monument in Arizona

Living somewhere doesn’t always make sense to those who weren’t on hand when the decision was made to do what was done. Maybe it was an economic decision or a defensive one; maybe it was proximity or distance that was desired. At some point, though, it is time to move on. The various people who took up residence here at Wupatki, starting back around 500 A.D., stayed for about 700 years before abandoning the site.

A young man I met a couple of years ago as a neighbor is moving on from Phoenix and heading back to his roots in rural Indiana with the hopes of finding something he has so far failed to discover. Originally a student at a local trade school, he soon figured out that he wouldn’t be as good a fit as he’d hoped, so he took up an apartment maintenance position where we live. Not long after trying his hand at this endeavor, he found he didn’t like it either, and so he quit. After two years in Arizona, it was time to try something new or old, depending on one’s perspective.

Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona

Knowing that Chris had been in Phoenix for two years and had never gotten out of the city, I couldn’t let it stand that come February 1st, when he flies out, he would have never been to the Grand Canyon, so I asked him if I could drag him up north.

With only two weeks before he left, I didn’t have much time to plan for a better date, so it was now or never. The weather forecast suggested there were only two days over the next ten that predicted partly cloudy weather, which looked the best we’d get, so I chose the closest day, that being today, Thursday, January 16, 2020.

Chris Elliot at Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona

If the snow on the ground wasn’t too bad, my plan was to take him on a short hike on the South Kaibab Trail out to Cedar Ridge. As luck would have it for Chris, the snow was pretty heavy, but there was a more important factor at work. Chris has some serious vertigo that stops him from going up to the third floor of the Desert View Watchtower. I hadn’t picked up on this outside when he didn’t get very close to the railing at the overlook.

I tried to get him to the top of the Watchtower, offering him assurance, but he let me know that it simply couldn’t happen as he was seriously uncomfortable. I knew at this point that regardless of the state of the trail, there was no way this guy was going to be able to stomach being out on the ledge of an unprotected narrow pathway cut out of the rocky cliffside we’d be hugging on the mile and a half walk out to the overlook.

Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona

Chris was overwhelmed by the scale of the Grand Canyon, which was exceeding his expectations. He flinched more than once, even while we were driving when he caught sight of the chasm just beyond a couple of trees and a cliffside.

Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona

Reaching Grand Canyon Village and El Tovar Hotel, in particular, it was time to get something to eat. As today was my treat and Chris, my guest, I thought I’d take him somewhere relatively nice, and the El Tovar dining room meets that criterion. Little did I know that this, too, was going to be greeted with discomfort. He’d never eaten in such a nice place and was wondering when he’d be asked to leave.

Some background is probably in order, and hopefully, I don’t cross the line of information that would intrude on anybody’s privacy, but this seriously nice and generous guy has been traveling a difficult road of uncertainty and his own fair share of relative bad luck. From estranged family members, homelessness, a short stint in the military, and some time in the Phoenix area that didn’t bring him to finding himself, he’s once again going to be looking for that thing that’s been elusive to his search.

Chris Elliot at Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona

His own generosity was gifted to three fellow veterans who were also in need by sharing his apartment with them. His hope was that with someone else caring about their welfare, they’d recognize the gesture and that it would help them escape their own personal discomfort of trying to exist in the chasm of what can be an isolating American life where the economy is the space between, and community is like the snow on the ground: cold and soon thin or gone. Little seems to have come from his efforts, as it appears they benefited at his expense.

Now, without a penny to his name but in possession of a plane ticket, Chris will leave Arizona, having seen one of the seven wonders of the earth. His destination is home. It leaves people who know him asking why and trying to warn him about the dangers of going home where the ruin of what was will likely be in a greater state of decay. The distance of time doesn’t close the gap or work to create bridges to places that didn’t exist in the first place, but as a bit of a fatalist, he doesn’t know what else to do.

Chris is approaching 30 years old and is still wandering somewhere deep within, unable to see real options ahead. It seems that the distance to his other side is on a scale with the Grand Canyon. His vertigo and discomfort with situations right before him have him taking a step back to the relative comfort of what he knows. I sure hope his next move is into a future that helps him find what he’s looking for.

1st Road Trip of 2020 – Day 3

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

Spent some more time appreciating the La Posada Hotel here in Winslow, Arizona. While I’ve said it elsewhere here on my blog, I’ll share again why a property designed by Mary Jane Colter holds so much interest for me. Mary Jane was a firebrand of her time, being the architect of much of the style that would heavily influence the look of the southwestern United States national parks. That we share the same birthday, only 97 years apart, might also figure in this, but probably not, seriously not.

There were other visually striking hotels Out West that had been commissioned by the Santa Fe Railroad, featuring restaurants managed by the Fred Harvey Company, but sadly, some have been destroyed in the name of modernity. The El Navajo over in Gallup, New Mexico, is one such hotel that disappeared the same year La Posada closed. The La Castañeda over in Las Vegas, New Mexico, is another Colter design that found a new life thanks to the efforts of La Posada’s owners, Allan Affeldt and his wife, artist Tina Mion. By the way, Amtrak runs daily between the hotels in Winslow, Arizona, and Las Vegas, New Mexico, for as little as $56 each way.

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

While today is the official anniversary of our wedding at the Little White Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada, it feels like it was late last night when it was most meaningful. Not that we really noted anything, toasted the evening, or even shared a little sweet after dinner in recognition of the date because every day is our celebration of having found each other.

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

Petrified Forest National Park was our first destination for the day, and during the drive over, we realized that it might be our last one in this area. Getting to the park and learning that the road to the southern end of the place was closed for bridge repairs at about the halfway point, we figured we’d do the first hike we wanted to take through the Blue Mesa area, and then we’d drive back to Holbrook, have lunch, and then circle down to the southern end of Petrified Forest National Park. Down there, we’d hike out to Agate House and head home from there.

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

Fragility and permanence exist simultaneously here in the harsh conditions of Petrified Forest National Park. The contrast of these elements is always around you here, but to the casual eye, maybe only the dryness of the desert and the nearly barren landscape can be seen. Consider this rain-and-wind-sculpted tower made of sandstone that at one time was just a bunch of rock underground. Over time, the surrounding earth was worn away, exposing these harder layers of rock, and while they are profoundly more durable than our soft organic selves, they, too, will crumble and fall.

As I looked up at the top rock balancing on a fractured column, the evidence of other rocks that used to be up there lay all around me. I suppose I should be happy and hopeful that things stay the way they are, but I know that it’s all temporary and that, at some point, that rock will come down here where I’m standing and that it may not be identifiable once it is smashed to bits as it topples from its perch.

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

These wood chips, well that’s what they looked like to me, are fragments of giant trees that towered over this barren landscape 225 million years ago. As the petrified logs emerge from the earth or maybe fall for a second time, some of them will shatter into tiny bits. Somewhere well into the future, after I’m long gone, they may erode to the point of becoming sand and be blown away by the wind to be part of the soil that will grow new trees.

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

I wonder about our return to this particular national park and how, on our first visit, we sprouted impressions into memories that would become fragments of our personalities. As those earlier images are toppled from their perch atop our experience and become tiny shards of our existence, we cycle back to reinforce our remembrances or bring on wholly new images for our memories to chew on. Before those have much time to fade, we return yet again and try to find the meaning behind what it is that’s drawing us back.

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

Maybe we are trying to become that which we are: human. A tree grows in place and falls where it grew. A mountain rises and is blown away in the wind, its shadow scattered in all directions. As the earth recycles that which arises upon its surface, the constituent elements are destined for new realities without any kind of certainty they may see the same form for millions, if not billions, of years. I can see in this photo the reflection of the tree that once was, as though someone split this log for a campfire and then walked away.

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

What does it take to become human, or are we simply born that way? For me, being human is an act of becoming. We must walk into our potential and discover how to see and what’s out there to be seen. We have to explore the unknown and not only the familiar. Even when we’ve walked the trail before, and although the view might look generally the same, it can never be identical to what it was. If we walk with awareness and learn something or other during the time between visits, we might see what’s in our mind with new eyes.

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

As above is not necessarily so from below but we should strive to explore both. What then? You must go within, go deeper, go further because the horizon open to our human senses is infinite, but within that infinity is a great unknown landscape. It is the unknown and the fear of it that will stop the majority of people from traversing the highs and lows of where they could possibly wander. Why even go out if you fear the encounter with that which may challenge your dogma?

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

In the crevices, folds, and cracks that are part of the space between are treasures waiting to be found. Artists such as Da Vinci and Dali and thinkers like Einstein and Deleuze explore where the average person is afraid to look. While they helped pave the way for all of us, allowing us to benefit from those things they brought illumination to, we must similarly do the same thing with our limited amount of time to explore life.

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

That means you must venture not only into your world but into your mind, emotions, and everything our senses offer our perspectives. There are crystals nobody has ever seen and never will. Just a millimeter behind the one at the surface might be the most perfect specimen, but we will not know it when we don’t put ourselves out there where it might be discovered.

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

Caroline and I are out here where few others have decided to visit today. We do not see anything of particular note that others haven’t also seen, but they cannot adequately convey the impact that was made on them and how it might have altered their perspectives, so we must witness things by ourselves. I, having now seen these things, cannot offer you any great insight into some intrinsic and profound discovery that will change my course in life, but I can tell you that I am not the same person I was before we traveled from the above to the below.

Northern Arizona on State Route 180

And then it was time to go further. If you look way out there, you might see tomorrow on its way.

Back country trails in Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

Guides to backcountry routes are great for traveling to places that are known, but no matter how much we think we know about humans, there is no guide to help you find a deeper meaning aside from your maintaining vigilance to peel back the onion of yourself. Maybe you can see the bigger picture by looking at the title page, and you can have some idea of where the trail leads once you’ve studied what’s on the pages that follow, but you will not own anything of real meaning if you fail to put yourself in motion and verify how the patterns you find in your journey compare to the notes others have left you.

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

I wonder how Native Americans of the region understood this wood that wouldn’t burn? Did they try to cut into it in an effort to discover its wooden core? Normal wood weighs about 45 pounds per cubic foot, while petrified wood weighs between 150 and 200 pounds per cubic foot; how was it that these logs would require multiple people to move them? The best way to describe a mystery pre-enlightenment would be to ascribe the phenomenon to the gods and so I could imagine the wood found here belonged to one of the gods of the desert. Funny how modern humans might find it archaic that “primitive peoples” could have polytheistic beliefs devoid of any scientific understanding of the world around them, and yet those same people go right about their business holding monotheistic beliefs with a mere modicum of scientific understanding.

Caroline Wise at Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

I rather consider that we look upon our world with the eyes of God. I don’t care which god anyone will do. So, if we are so lucky to have been gifted with the eyes of God to gaze upon its creation, how do we honor such a responsibility? Do we look upon violence with relative indifference? Do we witness poverty and ask why others are not dealing with it? Do we lament sharing our good fortune by paying more in tax so those who are less fortunate may also honor god by seeing the bounty and beauty of our world? My answer to that is a resounding: “We don’t do fuck all!” We glibly look upon the victims of war as enemies. We scoff at politicians who failed the rest of us by allowing homeless people the right to despoil our streets with their excrement. We reel in horror that someone else should be the recipient and beneficiary of any part of our wealth that we can hoard. And that, far too often, is the face of our religions. Just look at this fossil of a tree with a width that was nearly 5 feet across and stood in this arid landscape 225 million years ago. That tree could not grow in this climate today as it needs to be someplace, such as the coastal region of Oregon or the wetter parts of California. Would you invest the time and money to put yourself here at Petrified Forest National Park to show your god through your eyes that you care enough about its creation to be a personal witness to the incredible things that exist on this planet? Or will you choose to hide in your home with your cache of guns, shy away from the indigent, and trade more of your valuable time for money so you can afford your streaming media service and junk food delivery from someone starving with a dead-end gig job while you spew your xenophobic racism?

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

Uncomfortable with my horrible generalizations of painting vast swaths of our populations with the ugly brush? So am I, but it’s what I see and hear everywhere I go. After people started living loud outside as the phones moved from indoors to the restaurant dinner table, the barrier of what was appropriate to talk about in public collapsed. It was once considered rude to eavesdrop on people or listen in on private conversations, but I never requested that people up their volume and discuss the shit that I hear when I tune in the couple three tables over talking about an idiot boss, an idiot politician, or their idiot server. Would you fault me for observing that the rock in this photo looks like the bark of a tree? Of course not, because that’s exactly what it looks like. Just as James Whitcomb Riley once said, “When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck.”

Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

The spectrum of hues, minerals, and history found in this fractured chunk of petrified wood holds more breadth of attributes I find curious than the majority of humans I see. I’ve encountered some amazing people in my life, from the rich and famous to the poor and fascinating, but the majority should honestly be held in disdain for collectively; they amount to being more worthless than throwing another teaspoon of water into the sea. The fossilized trees I walk amongst here in the park cannot deny evolution; they do not lament the burden of being too hot or too cold, and they cannot ignore the truth of their existence. I’m offered a symbiotic relationship with inanimate things that have a profound story, do not require embellishment to appear beautiful, are not too old or too fat; they hate nothing. Instead, they bask in the sun, waiting for the appreciative to come along and gaze upon their magnificent histories and incredible intricate natures and show their gods something amazing.

Agate House in Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona

So, what should you do with my petrified thoughts? If you know me, you likely try to ignore this side of my self-righteous blathering as being the crap of another grumpy old man. But if you were an indigenous person walking with one or more gods and being witness to the incomprehensible beauty that somehow was all around you, you would have built a temple from the gift offered you and called it home. If you are reading this today, how are you taking your potential intellect and building a temple from your gift of cognition? On second thought, why did you ever read this nonsense?

Number 9 of 20

Trip 9: We are now booked for a rather short 5-day visit at Yellowstone National Park with reservations in hand for Old Faithful Inn during May 2020.  I even called ahead to have a note put on our reservation asking for room #225 we’ve stayed in on nearly half a dozen of our visits. To date, we have spent 36 days spread between 8 trips here at Yellowstone; this visit will push us to 41 total days. You can bet I’m already thinking about a winter return, possibly as early as Christmas 2020.

Update: This trip was canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Caroline Wise and John Wise in Yellowstone Jan 2010

Trip 8: The next time these two faces are seen in Yellowstone National Park, it will have been ten years since we were last in the park and 20 years since we made our first visit back in May 2000. This photo was taken on January 22, 2010, during our second winter visit to the first national park on Earth. This indulgence of being able to visit two winters in a row afforded us another eight days here. That ice-cream-colored beanie was hand-spun and knitted by the woman on my right, and I chose the colorway. I felt it made a bold statement.

Yellowstone Jan 2009

Trip 7: Our first winter visit to Yellowstone was for nine days, split between Mammoth Hot Springs and Old Faithful Snow Lodge. We thought the park was going to be enchanting, but we never could have anticipated just how astonishing the place is during winter. There’s a fraction of the number of people who visit during the summer, and the quiet and serenity that accompanies this time of year cannot be understated. We arrived on January 10th, 2009, in time to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary here in Yellowstone.

Canary Spring in Yellowstone July 2007

Trip 6: Four days over the long 4th of July weekend back in 2007 was enough to refresh our memories of how beautiful Yellowstone Park is.

Yellowstone Hot Spring May 2005

Trip 5: Only two days were spent in Yellowstone back in May 2005. My mother-in-law, Jutta Engelhardt, is with us again five years after her first visit to Yellowstone, this time in the spring instead of late fall.

Bison in Yellowstone May 2004

Trip 4: It’s May 2004, and we are with our friend Jay Patel on a cross-country road trip that wouldn’t have been complete without a stop in Yellowstone. Over the course of three days in the area, we spent a great deal of time exploring the geysers, mud pots, and wildlife. While you can’t tell from this photo, we also had plenty of snow to make snowmen and snow angels in.

Old Faithful Inn Yellowstone July 2003

Trip 3: Our only 1-day visit to Yellowstone occurred on July 6, 2003, after being away from the park for three years. We were on our way south after visiting Glacier National Park on the long 4th of July weekend.

Jutta Engelhardt and Caroline Wise in Yellowstone 2000

Trip 2: Under the guise of bringing Caroline’s mother, Jutta Engelhardt, over to see Yellowstone (because I’m that kind of selfless husband and son-in-law), I was able to convince my beautiful wife of the importance of making a second visit to this corner of Wyoming in the same year. Truth is, I would have sold Jutta to any bidder for the opportunity to visit again, as I couldn’t get our first visit out of my head. This is during October 2000, the closing days of the park. We spent five days on this visit.

Caroline Wise and John Wise in Yellowstone 2000

Trip 1: Our very first visit to Yellowstone National Park with our friends Ruby and Axel Rieke started on May 14th, 2000. While we had reserved a room for four days, I could have stayed for months. I was smitten with Yellowstone all summer long and schemed to figure out how to justify coming back sooner rather than later. Never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined that within 20 years, we’d be making our 9th visit and that we would be able to visit the park during all seasons.