Vikings, Germans, and Long Walks in Norway

View of the Port of Bergen, Norway

Mornings in our hotels have been the worst; it is the time when we are reminded that many of the guests are American, and we are bombarded with banshee cries and jingoistic claptrap. How do people drop words such as “tactical,” “team,” “situation,” “preparation,” “urgency,” “tactics,” and “security” into casual conversation while on vacation? Maybe they are on a military operation and wearing gym clothes for camouflage in a place where only people from the U.S. are wearing gym clothes and talking like they are operatives on a mission.

Then, at another table, I have to tune into the “History Buff,” dropping a nugget about something of importance regarding the area, but there’s zero context offered to the others at the table. This person shared some random factoid they gleaned from watching Jeopardy or playing Trivial Pursuit in the 80s, and their expertise leaves the others at the table in awe, or so it could be felt by those kowtowing to this self-anointed expert. Meanwhile, Europeans stay in their lane, eating bread, fish, cold meats and cheeses, granola, and fruit. At the hot table are my countrymen, not wavering from the eggs, bacon, potatoes, and pancakes as they prepare to chomp at the trough.

Typically, it is at breakfast that I start writing and try to catch up with what was neglected the day before, thanks to the exhaustion I felt when we hit the room at night. It is in this toxic environment that I run into what one hoped to have left behind on the shores of the U.S. This re-encounter triggers my writing hand to turn a reflexive scribble into a screed that dampens the moments before when blissful contentedness and dreams of a hot coffee were suggesting that a great start to the day was at hand.

Don’t think that my axe is only sharpened for an attack of Americans; I’m equally annoyed by the tracksuit-wearing East Europeans who are loud, use the ugliest ringtones on their phones, and stink of cigarettes. Next trip to Europe, we must avoid large cities or visit nearby cafes for breakfast, regardless of whether the meal is included in the cost of our hotel.

Rosenkrantz Tower at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

We plan to remain close to the hotel should we need to fetch ponchos or our umbrellas, as the forecast suggests we might be needing them today. With limited post-tourism season hours, we opt to return to Bergenhus Fortress first because Håkonshallen closes at 2:00 p.m. About to pass the Rosenkrantz Tower, we see that we can purchase tickets for both locations, saving us a few NOK, and with plenty of time to spare, we visit the tower first.

Rosenkrantz Tower at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

A sign in front of the tower told that the time was quickly approaching and a full renovation was becoming inevitable. Like in so many places across Europe (seen firsthand and read about in our post-COVID-19 world), renovations and repairs seem to be happening everywhere all at once. At the Bryggen area near our hotel, four of the historic facades are wrapped in scaffolding while preservation work is underway, and, as you’ll remember, we were denied the opportunity to see the Oseberg Ship at the Viking Ship Museum in Oslo since that destination is closed until at least 2026. At least that’s not quite as bad as the Pergamon Museum in Berlin, which is now closed for renovations through 2037.

Rosenkrantz Tower at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

Here in the basement area of the tower with a lack of windows, the dungeon vibe offers me a happy place but also one of claustrophobia when I consider that the tower sustained heavy damage back in 1944 when a German cargo ship carrying 120 tons of dynamite exploded in the harbor, enough to destroy much of the fortress, blast away the southwest wall of the tower, collapse the floors, send the roof into another dimension, and gut Håkon´s Hall. By the way, the vibe I’m describing fits because this lower level is the dungeon.

Rosenkrantz Tower was built back in the 1270s, and the Medieval feeling of the place is alive and well with narrow passages and poor lighting. The inner core of the tower is supposed to be the original from the time King Magnus Lagabøte of Norway ruled from here, but by the 16th century, sheriff Erik Rosenkrantz added to the tower while Norway was under Danish rule and hence the name that has remained to this day.

Rosenkrantz Tower at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

The importance of creating opportunities to see for ourselves the important places in our histories where events were set in motion and a patchwork of stories emerged cannot be understated. It is up to us to visit our pasts and drag the various threads forward if future generations are to piece together new stories touching on and learning from past successes and failures while also threading the complexities and uncertainties into new experiences that will forge the path for others to take.

Rosenkrantz Tower at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

I can be disappointed at what I cannot see, but I can also be grateful for the millions of things I never anticipated encountering, such as the love I share every day and every moment when Caroline is in my thoughts. Taking time and spending money to read, gaze upon the sea, walk up narrow dark stairways, enter a church, look upon a piece of art I could have never imagined seeing with my own eyes, or try to understand the myriad of impressions streaming into my senses is already the most incredible gift that in my view would be a wasted opportunity if I were not somehow trying to give back to humanity the opportunity afforded us.

Rosenkrantz Tower at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

When it comes to writing about these experiences, there’s a certain mystery as to what will show up in the post. Like ascending these stairs, travel takes us to places that cannot always be fully anticipated before we arrive at the ultimate destination. Our itinerary for Bergen included 18 potential locations or activities to possibly take in, but which ones we’d fall into was ambiguous. By choosing one of the suggestions or deciding to just wander about, we would, in any case see new things and places. This is where my reference to writing comes in because, like during travels, I do not have time to linger, nor can I return to a place for greater familiarization shortly after our visit; I have to keep going forward. As quickly as I can, I try to capture impressions before moving on to the next place. The luxury of knowing what I’m encountering with any intimacy will have to wait for another day when greater consideration can be given to the subject matter, landscape, or idea.

Consequently, fleeting impressions become memory salad. Images and words are tossed into a blender, risking to turn vacations into a gray slurry of the things that were seen, touched, heard, tasted, considered, read, and spoken of. While in the act of spinning, top-like, through the experience, I’m grasping at the most notable moments, racing to pull them into the area of my mind that might hold them tight for more than a second or two. And then, when I’m home, assembling these illustrated musings that reflect how we careened through a landscape like a pinball moving over its playfield, I must move quickly before falling through the drain of forgetfulness and ending the session. Nobody gets to play forever as everything ultimately comes to an end, be it the end of vacation, the end of the sentence, the end of a thought, or the end of a blog post that signifies it’s time to move onto a new game, a new story, a new adventure.

Rosenkrantz Tower at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

You might think that this is our good fortune because we were traveling, but what you may not be considering then is that we had to step into these adventures with minds tuned to extracting value regardless of the situation nature and chance were cultivating for us. We do not enter a space with three-foot (one-meter) thick walls, wooden floors, and the ambiance of more than 700 years of collected time to have them generate enlightening impressions that allow me to simply push out these narratives. We return home and have to reconcile who we were before the experience, what we gained, and what we desire to invest in ourselves to inflate memories into giants that tower over our lives.

View from Rosenkrantz Tower at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

From the past, we attempt to see and define our future. From the top of the medieval Rosenkrantz Tower, we can look at the combination of new and old and be thankful that the ages can coexist. This is a human lesson lost in consumption that only sees the transaction as a means to the future. We are blind and locked in the dungeons of capitalism while the cargo ship of climate change is exploding to take this all away before the majority of humanity understands what they lost because they didn’t know what they had.

Haakon's Hall at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

On the other side of the tower lies Håkon’s Hall, originally built between 1247 and 1261 by King Håkon Håkonsson. Bergenhus Fortress was the royal estate, and the hall was one part residence and one part banquet hall.

Haakon's Hall at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

Standing next to the nearly demolished Rosenkrantz Tower, Håkon’s Hall didn’t fare much better from the dynamite explosion in the harbor, as seen in this photo taken after the event. After 17 years of meticulous restoration, the royal facility was reopened in 1961. The 700-year-old icon of Norwegian history was once again a national treasure open to all visitors.

Haakon's Hall at Bergenhus Fortress in Bergen, Norway

A grand ceremony presided over by Crown Prince Olav ushered in the reopening of the hall. The Bergen Philharmonic Orchestra was on hand to perform Edvard Grieg’s Incidental Music for Peer Gynt while dignitaries and others attended the festivities. There’s a photo in the hall showing the pomp and circumstance that was brought to Bergen on that day, but you’ll have to visit Håkon’s Hall to see it for yourself.

Bryggens Museum in Bergen, Norway

Not ones to stand still unless it’s time for a fika or pølse, our next stop was at the nearby Bryggens Museum. While difficult to make out, metal rods are hanging over these foundations to show where walls, doors, and roofs would have been of these homes in the early history of Bergen. From the timbers that still exist, it was obvious that these buildings were destroyed by one of the many fires that decimated Bergen repeatedly over its 1,000 years of history.

Bryggens Museum in Bergen, Norway

WARNING: Strong language in the following paragraph could be offensive to some readers – the translation of 1,000-year-old rune sticks can be colorful and downright vulgar.

Runes weren’t only used on stones; they were also carved on wooden sticks left in places of socializing, such as the pub where teases, insults, threats, or invitations were left for other patrons. Some of my favorite rune stick translations are “Horrid is he who brings drink to the cunt,” and “Sit down and read the runes, stand up and fart.”

Bryggens Museum in Bergen, Norway

Behind the skeletal remains stands an altar from the Dale Church in Luster, Norway, while the Madonna came from the Granvin Church, which is now a part of the town of Voss that we passed through yesterday. Regarding the human remains, all I can add at this time is that they were not my own.

Bryggens Museum in Bergen, Norway

There is so much more to this museum than I’ll be able to share here. Suffice it to say that if you are interested in things relating to the Vikings up to the Middle Ages of this corner of Norway, you’ll likely find it here. Being frugal with what I can post, considering that there are already 57 photos accompanying our day, I am focusing on fiber arts-related tools from the Viking age for the short time we’ll be here at the Bryggens Museum.

Bryggens Museum in Bergen, Norway

A ribbon woven over 700 years ago continues to exist, while the shirts I bought last year are already showing the kind of wear that means they won’t be wearable much longer.

Bryggens Museum in Bergen, Norway

These stones with holes in them are not an early form of currency; they are whorls for drop spindles, adding momentum to the spindle and making spinning fibers far more efficient. Considering the variety of whorls we’ve seen in different museums, I can’t help but think that these were status symbols, demonstrating a kind of elevated standing similar to what people try to gain by wearing expensive watches today.

Bryggens Museum in Bergen, Norway

Lost in the past, we checked the time and were startled to find that our reservation for 1:00 p.m. at the next museum up the street was just 20 minutes away. Out the door we flew, grateful to have seen what we had, even if it was a mere fraction of the exhibits.

The Hanseatic Museum and Schoetstuene in Bergen, Norway

Before leaving Arizona, I had read this tour might be difficult to get on at the last minute, and with my curiosity about the subject, it was one of the few places for which I made reservations. While we got turned around for a minute on our way over due to construction, we were still on time for the English tour of the Hanseatic Museum and Schoetstuene.

The Hanseatic Museum and Schoetstuene in Bergen, Norway

At or around 1350, the Germans set up shop in Bergen, establishing a branch office of the Hanseatic League (Hanse in German) that operated in this area known as Bryggen. For 400 years, their foothold was secure with their German countrymen growing rich at the expense of the Norwegians who took a cut, but it was the Germans who owned trade routes and contacts allowing them to control markets. The Hanseatic League got underway in the 12th century, setting its headquarters in Lübeck, Germany, while international regional offices were situated here in Bergen, Norway; Riga, Latvia; London, England; Novgorod, Russia; and Skåne (Scania), which is the southern tip of Sweden, where we visited Ystad, Malmö, and Lund. The biggest Hanseatic cities in Germany were Hamburg and Bremen, but they had smaller offices in many towns, such as Lüneburg. Back in 2013, Caroline and I visited Lübeck after dipping a toe into southern Denmark, but we didn’t stay long at all and hadn’t considered spending time there to learn something more about the Hanseatic League, but now my curiosity says we have to return.

The Hanseatic Museum and Schoetstuene in Bergen, Norway

There were strict rules the Germans had to adhere to while they were working away from home, including that they could not own property outside of Bryggen and they were not allowed any contact with Norwegian women. As a matter of fact, no women were allowed in their trade zone at all. New German workers came in as apprentices at the age of 11 and wouldn’t return to Germany until they had completed their apprenticeship and journeymen years.

The Hanseatic Museum and Schoetstuene in Bergen, Norway

It was right here in this red room that I found out one of the most interesting things I would learn today. Red paint, used since at least Medieval times for painting houses and barns, was a mixture of animal blood, oil, and rust. I have to wonder how this emerged out of history and if its roots are related to Jewish biblical instructions regarding Passover or if the custom was originally part of Pagan rites.

The Hanseatic Museum and Schoetstuene in Bergen, Norway

Fire and the use of it here in Bergen played an important role on our tour due to the history of large parts of the city burning to the ground. After parts of Bryggen were lost to fire in 1702, the Germans rebuilt their offices, only to be squeezed out of business in 1754. In the intervening years, warehouses and the old wharf were lost to fire again, and even the Bryggens Museum we visited just before this tour sits on a site cleared in a 1955 fire. This photo was taken in one of the large kitchens that fed the Germans working here, and the story about the rules governing the usage of fire and the precautions taken is quite interesting.

Bryggen in Bergen, Norway

Stockfish was the primary item of trade here, rounded out by other animal products, often originating in the northern coastal region of Norway. The hour went by quickly and ended here facing the old trade fronts of Bryggen. You can see that three buildings are currently being renovated while another one behind us is also shuttered. That building out of view houses the Hanseatic Museum. Our tour had us visiting the Schoetstuene (Assembly Rooms), and it would take until we got home before we learned that we missed out on more things to see there, which will necessitate a return visit to Bergen, hopefully on a rare sunny day.

Caroline Wise with hotdogs at 3-Kroneren in Bergen, Norway

Trekroneren was a must-visit because how many hot dog stands are open from 11:00 in the morning until 4:00 the next morning? A popular hot dog stand is the answer and with ten different types of sausage, they must surely have something for everyone, except for the vegetarian. One of the takeaways from this trip to Scandinavia is that we love the Pølse from the far north because, with the addition of ketchup, mustard, and crispy onions, they have mastered the American classic.

Rolls at a bakery in Bergen, Norway

After yummy wieners, the only natural path was for us to bring ourselves to Godt Brød for, you guessed it, FIKA! Left to right, first up is the cinnamon bun, next up cardamom buns, and over on the right, almost out of view, is a skolebrød I described when we arrived in Oslo. With a coffee and bun delivering another amazing fika, we were ready to take on a distant journey.

On the trail to Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

First, we needed a bus south since we were not interested in walking the 15-kilometer (about 10 miles) roundtrip to and from our next destination. Somehow, we negotiated the ticket purchasing with our bus driver, and once it got us as close as it could, we had about a mile walk down a steep street before turning onto a forest path that had us climbing uphill.

Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

This is the Fantoft Stave Church, or more correctly; it is the completely reconstructed copy of what used to be the church before Varg Vikernes of the Black Metal band Burzum burned it to the ground. The original was built around 1150 in Fortun over on the eastern side of the Sognefjord, and it stood there until the community wanted to tear it down and replace it with a modern church. In 1883, a prominent Bergen businessman named Fredrik Georg Gade had it moved piece by piece to Bergen. Sadly, over 1,000 stave churches were destroyed over the centuries, and now only 28 of the relics survive.

Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

The cross was moved up here to Bergen from southern Norway. It is believed to have been created in the earliest years of Christianity when it was moving into the country and displacing the older Pagan belief system.

Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

On one hand, some of the authenticity that would have been present in the old church is missing as 850 years of aging were lost in the fire, but then again, that allows us to see it much the way it would have appeared to somebody entering this building in the first years after it was built all those years ago.

Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

Kneeling before a congregation, someone took to the pulpit and likely used a series of poems, stories out of oral tradition, and reminders of laws and customs to speak to the local community and remind people of obligations, events on the calendar, and the ties that bound them to history in the hopes of paving the way to better tomorrows.

Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

No matter what we read, see, or visit, we’ll never really understand the world our distant ancestors lived in. The way people pretend through silly costumes, hairstyles, and symbols that they are somehow channeling something pure is a travesty without vision, purpose, or ability to self-guide themselves into their own time, their own heritage that, like it or not, is carved from the period in which we are living. While most everything we learn is from the past, we cannot return there, and the only reason people can dwell in romanticized ideas of a distant age is because rather than exist in nihilism and existential uncertainty, a kind of twisted brand identity is created for them where these lost souls can purchase a construct that offers salvation and escape from an abyss of society’s creation.

Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

When I was a young man, I found foolish the ideas that informed “primitive” religions and, probably like many people brought up in Christian faith, thought that “my” faith (even when I was doubting the veracity of its “truths”) still felt far more logical than any Pagan, Hindu, or Indigenous person’s weird beliefs. Now that I’m older and wiser, I can see the genius of creating stories and mythologies that could unite people in survival, sharing, and community.

Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

Stories that transcended humans and endowed gods with creation and destruction abilities taught people that they were not themselves gods because the transactions of the all-mighty happened in loftier realms that set the stage for us to be the fortunate inheritors of what the gods offered us. We then were left to find our way in nature and community, remaining ultimately answerable to our creator(s) and held accountable amongst ourselves to not usurp so much power over others that we deluded ourselves into believing we’ve become a god. In this sense, I find it remarkable, regardless of religion, that this form of powerful mythmaking is found throughout history as far as we can measure and across geography.

Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

Should you be wondering why stave churches are black, and they mostly are, it was not because there was something sinister about them but because black tar was readily available in Norway and proved to be a great sealant to protect the all-wood structure from snow and rain. If you had the idea that these Gothic black buildings had something to do with Norway’s Pagan past, the Pagans built temples that faded away or were destroyed, while burial mounds and stone circles were mostly left untouched. These dark, slightly foreboding churches were built after Christianity was introduced to Norway and consequently have nothing at all to do with Paganism.

Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

My poor, sad brain, holding biased opinions that my upbringing conditioned me to hold, can’t help but want to see a certain amount of animism and otherness in the architecture and carvings that are simply different. While I appreciate what I’m seeing, I’m looking for a deeper meaning that must differentiate this serpent as having a dark meaning compared to the griffin that adorns so many Catholic churches. The steep roofing obviously hides a mystery beyond what I can glean at a glance, while the sacred geometry used in the building of cathedrals must be benign because that’s what I grew up accustomed to. How big is the tragedy that we typically want to see people who lived 1,000 years ago as being primitive, and yet we carry around an ignorance of our world that is so big as to dwarf the scale of pyramids and cathedrals?

Fantoft Stave Church in Bergen, Norway

The weather forecast had called for a 90% chance of rain, a bullet which by now we figured we’d dodged, but, nope, here’s the rain.

Paradis Tram Stop in Bergen, Norway

Not interested in returning the way we came if there was a shorter, dryer route, we asked the women at the gate of Fantoft Church about an alternative. They directed us here to Paradis, which somehow felt appropriate, better than hell anyway.

Caroline Wise and John Wise in Bergen, Norway

After taking well over 2,000 selfies of Caroline and me over the years, it’s always nice to find a reflective surface that offers a variation of the tried and true method of pointing the camera back at us.

Homeless person sculpture in Bergen, Norway

The plaque at the feet of this homeless person sculpture reads, “No one is just what you see.” While looking for information regarding the sculpture, I did find a comment on a post featuring a similar photo; it read, “In Scandinavia, homeless are a rare sight, so we have to build statues of them to remind ourselves of how good things are.” – from Dudestereo posted on 9Gag.

Port of Bergen looking over to Bryggen, Norway

It was 3:00 p.m. when we took the bus down south and now that it’s after 5:30 and most tourist options are closed, we are at a loss of what to do. It was at that moment that the two of us knew that a fika would help us think about our options. After finding a Backstue (from the chain of bakeries we had enjoyed in Oslo) open till 7:00 p.m., that’s where we aimed our feet. No cinnamon or cardamom rolls were left, but we weren’t about to turn our noses up to a pretzel croissant and a couple of coffees. Almost better than our break was the conversation with the woman maintaining the shop this late in the day. Holding dual citizenship between the U.S. and Norway, this university student, who normally lives in Oslo but is in Bergen for its law school, voiced her recognition of how fortunate she is to be able to attend school for an advanced degree at no cost to her. While she has family in Wisconsin, where one of her parents was born, she has no interest in ever living in America as she finds the quality of life in Europe better. Her one complaint was that she can’t wait to get out of Bergen as it’s too rainy and she’s looking forward to returning to Oslo.

Still without a plan but with a dinner recommendation from the woman at the bakery, we start to wander about guiltily. How can we be in a foreign city, one of the most important at one time, and not know what to do? Mind you, it is Sunday, and as I pointed out, almost everything is closed.

The Fløibanen Funicular in Bergen, Norway

We looked up the cloudy mountain to which the funicular takes sightseers and reluctantly agreed to give it a whirl. Before buying our tickets, the salesperson warned us that the view from the top was currently obscured by a heavy fog layer. This explained why we saw others walking away from the ticket window. Undeterred and with nothing else going on, we decided to forge ahead.

View from the Fløibanen Funicular in Bergen, Norway

Okay, we considered this view our money’s worth. The ride-up offered us a partial view that justified the expense. Even if we just turned around up top, at least we had spent some time there that would allow us to check off yet one more item from our itinerary.

Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

Once far above the city, it was so foggy that even the nearby forest started to disappear.  While the participants of an outdoor yoga class were packing up their mats in the mist, we recognized that our roundtrip tickets were for naught. Not that we were about to throw ourselves off the mountain as human sacrifices to a Norwegian God who accepts this type of offering instead, we were going to meander down the mountain through the mysterious forest.

View from Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

Hey Caroline, did we even walk a dozen steps before looking over our shoulders and seeing that the view had cleared? Back to the viewing platform with a direction sign informing us that New York City was 5623 kilometers one way and Istanbul 2692 kilometers away in a different direction. The sign also denoted that at this spot on Mount Fløyen, we were 320 meters (1049 feet) above sea level.

Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

Back on the trail, we knew it was inevitable that we’d run into a troll or two at some point, but a two-headed troll surprised the two of us.

Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

Wow, this is nothing like the Huldra we saw at Kjosfossen waterfall in Myrdal who wore a red flowing dress and danced for us to thumping Teutonic beats right out of the Middle Ages. I guess the carver of this forest spirit was having a bad day or didn’t understand that buck teeth are not appealing in any culture I’m aware of.

Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

The decision to take the forest path was a great one. Good thing we had been at a loss about what to do with the rest of the day because this walk ended up being a significant highlight of the trip, but then again, most everything all the time ends up being the highlight that will define our vacation.

Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

Just another cairn? Not hardly; it is a small monument to being human. Cairns are not required here along our well-defined trail down Mount Fløyen, so why is one here? It turns out that this activity of stacking stones for various reasons has been going on long before the various cultures of our planet made contact with each other. These analog all-natural communication towers can signal the presence of a trail, but they have also been used to mark territory, denote gravesites, and they can have spiritual purposes.

Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

Lush and verdant are two words that quickly come to mind when the quiet forest seeps into our senses and whispers for us to notice the little things, such as these dew drops that have the appearance of fairy lights. When entering into this conversation with nature, it is as though our mind is traipsing in the joy of understanding that we are in a place perfected by the hand of time.

Caroline Wise on the trail on Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

I’m aware that Caroline knows I’m here, but I also know she’s lost in the profound beauty and complexity of the world around her. While walking ahead, there’s a tape playing within her heart and mind, repeating thoughts of how charmed our moments are when together we are discovering corners of nature we couldn’t have dreamt we’d ever experience for ourselves. These times are waking dreams shared between two witnesses that reassure each other that they truly experienced these environments and that they were as magical as our recollections want us to believe.

View from Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

Look below and try to see that 1000 years ago, there were houses, docks, chimneys, market squares, churches, and people who could never have imagined that one day, a world vastly different from their own wouldn’t fully comprehend what they’ve inherited. A world replete with conveniences and luxuries that would exceed everything from their own time. Electricity, running water, both hot and cold but most importantly clean, trams, planes, food from all corners of the planet, the ability to communicate across all geographic limitations, the tools to capture, record, and share their lives with people from the future or on other continents, and yet they’d still find reason for war and suffer the shortsightedness to not comprehend what is offered to them by being alive in the 21st century. We are not only looking down on a city where we’ll seek refuge for the night and an evening meal; we are doing so because we are curious about a place that stands in great contrast to the desert city we departed from a few weeks ago.

Caroline Wise on the trail on Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

Droplets of water fall upon a plant below or maybe hit the dirt, beginning a return journey to the soil and earth below while some small part evaporates into the atmosphere, obscuring the view ahead. Our love is like drops of water falling from within us to nourish the other while some of it evaporates to cloud our eyes with the beauty of seeing and being with one another. No matter what lies ahead, we live in a symbiotic existence of transitioning that binds us together forever, though our paths might diverge from time to time.

View from Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

The clouds, the rain, the amount of dusk that lingered, everything worked in our favor to offer us an exquisite descent from the mountain back down to the city. Watching the glow of warm light as Bergen transitions to evening only added to the romance of being in awe of what the experiences across this Sunday offered us.

View from Mount Floyen in Bergen, Norway

Hunger and gravity pulled us deeper into the city, where we’d be mixing up our routine.

Bergen, Norway

So far, we have made every effort to eat as locally as we could, meaning Danish, Swedish, and Norwegian food, but tonight, we’re taking the advice of the law student from earlier, dined at Villani Italian Restaurant, and ended up regretting nothing. Starting with yet another tartar because it seems everyone has tartar on the menu, we moved on to a burrata and arugula pizza, and while that should have been enough, we’d already ordered a plate of fusilli pesto alla Siciliana with crispy eggplant. Splurging, we shared a small Weck jar-sized portion of tiramisu that cost $13, or the same price as Caroline’s limoncello spritz. Desserts are not cheap in Norway, where sugar apparently costs more than alcohol. Dinner came to 1,444 Norwegian Kroner or about $130. While details regarding common meals tend to feel boring, to be able to look back and remember the time when we thought a particular meal was expensive and ten years later, it seems like a bargain allows this information to take on a point of curiosity.

First Day in Sweden

Morning TV in Copenhagen, Denmark

We don’t often look at the television, but when we do, we do it in foreign countries. Wouldn’t you know it, we turn on the TV for the first time in Copenhagen just before leaving Denmark, and there’s Lærke Bagger, the author of a book about knitting we’ve been seeing all over Copenhagen. It’s even in the window of the 2nd yarn shop we visited on our first day here. Something else about our first day that relates to this image: in the background near Lærke, you might spot the Burger King sign; that was where the vegan demonstration we followed yesterday ended up.

Two days ago, I was kvetching about the crass behaviors of Americans; today, I’ll lean into a stereotype about East Europeans. At breakfast, as in so many other places, the people from Slavik countries have the loudest ring tones while nobody else’s phones around them make a sound. I’m likely a bit grumpy as we got in late last night, around 11:00 pm, and were too tired to deal with packing, so we were taking care of that after sleeping in a bit. This has the effect of us leaving Copenhagen about an hour later than I’d hoped for.

Leaving Copenhagen, Denmark

Our last morning in Copenhagen is like the last day most anywhere: we’re sad to go. From Orientkaj, we need to make our way over to Østerport station, where we’ll board a train to Malmö, Sweden. Ahead on the M4 line, we see the 2nd most frequented station of our time here in the Danish capital: Kongens Nytorv, or the King’s New Square. Now, consider the 1939 RKO film King Kong; it seems to me that this was a sly usage of Danish for this American classic film, meaning King of Kings.

Øresund Bridge between Sweden and Denmark

While out here on the Øresund Bridge, it occurs to Caroline that the Danish word “Bro” translates to bridge; I wish I could reconcile this with the American version of bro, which is English for douchebag. In this usage, bro is an intellectual hindrance to moving over an impasse of the mind; he specializes in being an obstruction, a kind of stench that is difficult to navigate around or clean away.

Hyllie Water Tower in Malmö, Sweden

Under the alien spaceship disguised as the Hyllie Water Tower on our approach to Malmö, two Bulgarian bros who’ve been loudly Facetiming somebody somewhere else with their phone speaker on full blast were controlled for tickets. It turns out they were supposed to exit the train at the Copenhagen Airport in Denmark but were so busy being self-absorbed in their performance of annoyance that they missed their stop and were about to be escorted from the train here in Sweden, but not only that, they were riding without tickets which comes with a fine of between $72 and $135 per person.

Main train station in Malmö, Sweden

Even peeing in Sweden isn’t cheap at nearly $1.00 per person, but when you’ve got to go, you gotta go. Our first stop in the station before finding the toilet was over at the baggage storage lockers that are coming in handy for our brief four-hour visit to Malmö. Note the credit card reader – no need to carry cash for even the smallest amounts.

Malmö, Sweden

A few steps out of the main station and we were immediately drawn to this lighthouse which turned out to be in the wrong direction of where we should be going. With such a limited amount of time, we have to make each minute count in considering what and where we’ll be doing stuff. The first thing stricken from our itinerary was a visit to the local yarn store, but we have more than a few left to visit over the coming two weeks. Trying to get closer to the lighthouse, we continued in the wrong direction until we reached the bridge down there, turned left, and left again to walk back up the canal.

Malmö, Sweden

This is the view from that bridge I just mentioned. The sculpture I photographed the lighthouse through is way down there by the other bridge.

Nett Hier in Malmö, Sweden

This sticker and the advertising campaign for Baden-Württemberg (the German state where the famous Black Forest is located) must be one of the most successful viral campaigns ever created as we’ve seen this, “Nice here. But have you been to Baden-Württemberg?” all over the United States.

Malmö Castle and Museum in Malmö, Sweden

I’ll get this out of the way right now: our choice to visit the Malmö Castle and Museum wasn’t the greatest decision. In retrospect, we should have gone over to Södra Yarn, hung out at Lilla Torg (the Small Square), and grazed the various foods at Saluhall (Market hall), but one can’t tell when planning from 6,283 miles away and not knowing anyone else that’s been to this corner of Sweden.

Malmö Castle and Museum in Malmö, Sweden

Don’t get me wrong, visiting castles and forts is typically great, but there’s something about the Malmö Castle and Museum that seems to lack focus, though we will learn a few things about the history of the place. The first castle on this site was founded by King Eric of Pomerania, who ruled over the Kalmar Union (the combined kingdoms of Denmark, Sweden, and Norway) after the death of his great-aunt, Margarethe I, so there’s that connection to history. One hundred years later, that castle was torn down, and King Christian III of Denmark built this one. Subsequently, it was used to imprison James Hepburn, 4th Earl of Bothwell, third husband of Mary, Queen of Scots. From the photo in the background, you’ll see refugees arriving from German concentration camps near the end of World War II who would stay at the castle during a transition period.

Malmö Castle and Museum in Malmö, Sweden

A bit of a strange layout and a randomness about where things are. On our way in, we passed an exhibition featuring modest clothing for women with details about the global demand and examples of such things as sports clothes that incorporate hijabs, abayas, and tunics. After that, we enter this turret that is sparse in information about its history.

Malmö Castle and Museum in Malmö, Sweden

There are two of the turrets still existing but from the grounds, it appears there once had been four. There also appears to be far more to the castle than the small part we are allowed to visit. I should understand this as during my first visit to Versailles Palace, the majority of it was off-limits, and as I’ve seen from the old mansions in the Eastern United States, especially the Newport, Rhode Island area, mansions, forts, castles, and palaces are extremely expensive to maintain and is it not always possible to find organizations that are willing to add to an inventory where budgets are already stretched.

Anders Christensen's Silver Hoard at the Malmö Castle and Museum in Malmö, Sweden

A wealthy brewer from Malmö named Anders Christensen buried a silver hoard during the siege of 1677 to protect his riches. He and his wife died with his treasure lost, this was until 1880 when it was rediscovered.

Prisoners held at the Malmö Castle and Museum in Malmö, Sweden

For a long time, the castle fell out of use until 1828 when it was turned into a prison until 1909. These are some of those prisoners.

Etching from Francisco de Goya at the Malmö Castle and Museum in Malmö, Sweden

Due to the years of neglect and then use as a prison, there’s really nothing left that exemplifies how the castle was once used by royalty. In the scattered approach as to what the museum should function as, there’s even some art here, such as this etching from Francisco de Goya.

Apolloff Interior at Malmö Castle and Museum in Malmö, Sweden

This sealed cabinet display is called the Apolloff Interior. In 1853, Captian Christer Frederick Abrahamsson had the furniture made for his family, which his daughter Alma Apolloff inherited. Since she and her husband never had children, they bequeathed their estate to the museum in 1928.

Malmö Saluhall in Malmö, Sweden

I want a Saluhall (Market Hall) in Phoenix that’s as amazing as this one, serving a city of only 330,000 people compared to the Phoenix Metro area of 4.85 million people. The demand for quality in other countries can be extraordinary when I consider what we have on offer back home; it’s actually confounding to me. This is the Clemens Kött & Husman meat stand that also serves hot food. On Friday, they can be found cooking steaks on their grill, but this is Tuesday, and we have something very different in mind.

Swedish Meatballs from the Malmö Saluhall in Malmö, Sweden

We were here for köttbullar, a.k.a. Swedish meatballs. With mashed potatoes, pickle, lingonberry, and four meatballs the first thing we learned about this traditional dish is that Ikea is ruining it. We’ll have köttbullar again on this trip, but these right here in the Malmö Saluhall will forever define what perfection is.

Caroline Wise and Fika at the Malmö Saluhall in Malmö, Sweden

We’ve moved down the aisle to St. Jakobs Stenugnsbageri (stone oven bakery) for our first Swedish fika with our two americanos yet to be delivered. With one Kanelbullar (cinnamon) and one Kardemummabullar, we were ready to find out which one was the winner. Caroline opts for the cardamom while I lean towards the cinnamon.

St. Petri Church in Malmö, Sweden

Another St. Peter’s church and the oldest surviving red brick structure to be found in Malmö. The design is thought to have been inspired by the Marienkirche (St. Mary’s) of Lübeck, Germany, which we visited ten years ago.

St. Petri Church in Malmö, Sweden

Constructed in the early 14th century, this Gothic church was built when the city, like the rest of Europe, was of the Catholic faith. I don’t believe much about the Reformation is taught in the U.S. and a brief survey in a coffee shop confirmed this thought. The idea of the relative fundamentals of religion taking a dramatic turn that would result in wars, death, iconoclasm, and societal divide seems alien, and yet here we are almost 500 years later, and some would say we are at a similar precipice due to cultural, social, economic, technological, and racial issues that are splitting societies between those who are capable of adapting with tolerance and those afraid that the changes have been an onslaught of destruction of their beliefs producing fear and anger.

St. Petri Church in Malmö, Sweden

The altarpiece is from 1611, as most everything in the church had been destroyed and whitewashed in 1529 at the height of the Reformation.

St. Petri Church in Malmö, Sweden

Of the five original side chapels, only three still exist, including this one dedicated to St. George but popularly known as the Krämarkapellet (Chapel of the Vendors), which was built for Malmö’s guild of cloth dealers. Notice the baptismal font and its octagonal shape, which I wrote about during our visit to the Rosenborg Castle. The murals in this chapel were also painted over like the rest of the church, but between 1904 and 1910, they were uncovered and restored.

St. Petri Church in Malmö, Sweden

There are other guilds represented in the chapel with elements from their coat of arms; to the left, you can spot a griffin that is part of the coat of arms from the city of Malmö. I have to wonder why more of the ceiling wasn’t restored, but such is the state of things when religion is involved.

Malmö, Sweden

The Main Square on an overcast day is better than not visiting a main square, even when we are on the run and taking things in quick impressions instead of being able to really soak in the history of the place.

King Karl X Gustav in the Main Square in Malmö, Sweden

This statue of King Karl X Gustav stands in the main square and depicts a leader who apparently loved war but died at the young age of only 37 years old due to complications of misdiagnosed pneumonia instead of combat.

Lilla Torg in Malmö, Sweden

The old Rikstelefon payphone booth is no longer functional and while not as ornate as what we were seeing in Copenhagen, it’s still nice to see these relics of another age reminding us how quickly life changes.

Lilla Torg in Malmö, Sweden

If half-timbered houses don’t instill a sense of history when visiting an old town center such as Lilla Torg here in Malmö, then nothing will. This was also the end of our time in town before returning to the main train station for our ride to Ystad, Sweden, where we’d be spending a night.

Uh-oh, Houston, we have a problem. Our bags have either been stolen, we don’t understand how to use our retrieval code, or our credit card and a different card are not able to be used here in the baggage lockers. Not only are we panicking about our bags but our train is leaving shortly. As I guard our locker, where our bags are hopefully safely stored, Caroline headed over to the toilet stall we visited earlier, looking to find someone who could help us. It turns out that the personnel at the facilities offering relief of certain bodily functions are also tasked with dealing with the faulty software that operates the baggage locker system. A couple of reboots of the software and we are in, grabbing our bags, and doing our version of sprinting to the track to hop on the train. We just made it as it turned out our train was late and were able to laugh about our small dilemma.

Except, we don’t have tickets. Well, I have the Swedish Rail app on my phone so I get busy right away buying our tickets. Good thing I was right at the moment of getting credit card authorization as a controller was moving through the train to check tickets. He could see where we were in the process and that this wasn’t a response to seeing him, so he told us he’d come back shortly to check on our progress. Everything’s good, and Caroline turns to working on my next pair of socks, and I get to taking notes.

Ystad, Sweden

Forty minutes later, we are welcomed to Ystad by absolutely nobody. With a population of about 20,000 people, this is a fairly small town. We are down in southern Sweden on the Baltic Sea for one very specific reason you’ll learn about tomorrow. First up, we needed to drop our bags in our room at the Prins Carl Hotel, which ended up being the greatest bargain out of all of our lodgings, not because of the price alone but everything that came with our room. Checking in, Sven, the proprietor, was on hand and welcomed us with real enthusiasm. While making our reservation a month earlier, I had questions for him about restaurant recommendations and a bike rental, he was gracious with regards to both requests. The ambiance at the check-in desk and lobby is an experience in itself; let’s just say that Sven’s wife has an eye for art and strategically placed fruit.

Ystad, Sweden

I just told you about a bike rental, and so with map in hand, we started our half-mile walk to the Gösta Svensson Cycle shop, but being John and Caroline, we’d just have to detour. We verified that they were open till 6:00 pm, but we were also on a bit of schedule because we wanted to lock up the bikes in a storage area at the hotel, and that had to be done before 6:00 also. The reason for this arrangement is that we needed the e-bikes first thing in the morning.

St. Peter's Church and Abbey in Ystad, Sweden

Drats, it appears that the Gråbrödraklostret (Greyfriars Abbey) and St. Peter’s Church are closed, that was until we found the right door.

St. Peter's Church and Abbey in Ystad, Sweden

Established in 1267, you should know by this time what came around and acted to disestablish the abbey in 1532. I’ll offer you a hint: this being Sweden, it wasn’t the Spanish Inquisition.

St. Peter's Church and Abbey in Ystad, Sweden

Some hundreds of years ago, the northern and western wings of the monastery were torn down, and at one point the remaining building was used to manufacture Aquivit, followed by it becoming a granary. Finally, by the 19th century, the complex was left to decay.

Caroline Wise at the St. Peter's Church and Gråbrödraklostret (Abbey) in Ystad, Sweden

In 1909, the old abbey and church were starting to be renovated, and as you can see by the photo of Caroline, Ystad is still trying to figure out how to best make money with their historic property.

St. Peter's Church and Gråbrödraklostret (Abbey) in Ystad, Sweden

On one of the occasions that I don’t photograph the placard offering some interpretation of what we are looking at, I get home to find out that this wood carving of a baby angel head has never been shared on the internet before; how can this possibly be? As I stare at this baby with stoned, sleepy eyes, I can’t help but think how cool it would be to convert a cathedral loaded with religious iconography into a psychedelic experience with celestial video projections on the ceiling above the nave while the sounds of gods and angels talk to adherents of the trippy sitting comfortably in recliners instead of the hard pews. Maybe I’m too old at this time, but this would have been my ultimate Disneyland/Cineplex about 30 years ago.

Ystad, Sweden

We left the church and finished our walk across town to the bike shop. For one reason or another, I got the owner’s e-bike, which was nearly brand new, while Caroline was using one of the shop’s e-bikes, also in immaculate condition. If only there were enough time left in the day before the Prins Carl lobby closes, we’d have taken a ride around town and up the coast but so it goes.

Ystad Harbor in Ystad, Sweden

With the bikes secured, we went out for a walk in the direction of the harbor, walking past the ferries that shuttle visitors to and from the Danish island of Bornholm and further on to Poland.

Caroline Wise at Engelska bryggan (English Jetty) in Ystad, Sweden

Just 552 kilometers (343 miles) out over the sea is Binz, Germany, on the island of Rügen which we visited just a couple of years ago. A bit further on to the left is Poland, an occasional adversary but, more recently, an important trading partner. We are currently standing at Engelska Bryggan (English Jetty), where the rotting seaweed is giving off a distinctly sulfurous smell and not in that almost pleasant Yellowstone kind of way.

Ystad, Sweden

The map said the road goes this way; this hasn’t been a road in a long time, but it sure is a scenic path.

Home of fictional detective Kurt Wallander in Ystad, Sweden

As Caroline scoured the map for our way back to where we’d have dinner, she recognized a spot on the map that made note of fictional detective Kurt Wallander’s house. While neither of us has ever seen the show, we still swung by, so when we get home and watch a clip or two, we can say that we’ve been there.

Ystad, Sweden

This is right where we’d live up on the third floor if we could live in Ystad. The prices are reasonable, but in such a small town, speaking Swedish would be mandatory. While the place has a kind of Binz, Germany, kind of vibe, there are very few people on the streets, and one gets the impression that the economy is suffering, thus producing more disaffected youth than we saw in Copenhagen. While superficial observations don’t tell of the deeper story that might be going on here, I’ve never allowed my biased opinions to slow down my interpretations.

Ystad, Sweden

Bäckahästens Kaffeestuga is open from 10:00 to 4:00 every day of the week, and while the sign alone inspires me to visit, we have arrived too late, and tomorrow won’t work in our favor either. From the name of this place, were you able to figure out that this is a coffee house?

Ystad, Sweden

On the left of this white building is Restaurant Store Thor, where we dined on yet more Swedish meatballs in gravy with boiled potatoes, lingonberries, and pickles.

Ystad, Sweden

We continued walking around the old town as tomorrow night we’d be staying in yet another city, so this was it for the opportunity to see a little more of Ystad. Soon, though, we needed to end the transmission as we were busy mastering the art of tiredness and needed the use of our hotel to crash into sleep, leaving note-taking for the morning over breakfast.

Roskilde to Dragør

Copenhagen, Denmark

Taking the subway at Orientkaj nearly feels routine by now, except this morning, we experienced a slight snafu that left a look of shock on Caroline’s face. In Germany, when somebody wants to hold the door for someone else to jump on the train or bus, the door won’t shut if it senses pressure against it closing. Denmark doesn’t play that, and Caroline, who was already on the train, had to pull her hand out of harm’s way before I was able to catch up to her. In a second, she was starting to accelerate to the next station, but not before shooting me a look of astonishment on the verge of horror. I wasn’t worried because I knew that in five minutes, I’d be catching up to her at the next stop, where I was certain she’d be waiting. Sure enough, we reconnected and were soon at Osterport to catch our 45-minute ride out to Roskilde, Denmark.

Roskilde, Denmark

We stormed the coast, plundered, and were generally rude in the mayhem we spread upon our arrival because what else should one do when landing in a historic city that played an important role for the Vikings? The lives lost today due to our raid of the village were simply the cost of us adopting our new roles. Had Copenhagen not been suffering from overpopulation and a dearth of farmland, Caroline and I might have been able to make it there, but instead, we felt we had no other choice than to flee to the countryside and burn the abbey to demonstrate to the locals we meant business.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

We should have, at this point, stopped in the cathedral to beg forgiveness (for such fabulous lies), but the doors were locked, so we decided to just hang around nearby, get some boating in, find a decent place for smørrebrød, and then return here to commune with the ancestors, even if they are not our own.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

Early tech pioneer and trendsetter King Harald Bluetooth, son of Gorm the Old, founded Roskilde back in the 980s, and I don’t mean as found on some AM radio frequencies either. Seriously, the founding of Roskilde is attributed to Harald Bluetooth, the namesake of the wireless protocol. Construction of the Roskilde Cathedral was initiated by Absalon in the 12th century on top of the church that previously stood there. This is the same Absalon who moved on to build a castle where Christiansborg Palace stands today and who is considered by some the founder of Copenhagen. Unironically, I must admit feeling a sense of tragedy that we failed to utilize a Bluetooth device while in town.

Roskilde, Denmark

The human-based navigation system I’m traveling with is the Caroline Model 55, and it’s telling us that this is the right way to our destination at the harbor, but first, we must navigate this sea of flowers.

Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde, Denmark

While planning our Scandinavian adventure, one wish of my wife’s was that we would stop in Oslo, Norway, to visit the Viking Ship Museum, where the best preserved Viking boat is kept. The Oseberg Ship was found in a burial mound, and based on the photos, it’s an amazing find. But we’ll not be visiting it on this trip because the museum is under renovation and will remain closed until 2026. Nothing would make up for that, so instead, I looked for something fun that still had to do with Vikings, and that’s when I found the Viking Ship Museum of Roskilde.

Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde, Denmark

The museum wasn’t open yet when we arrived, but adjacent to its small restaurant, we ran into half a dozen workers, marine conservators to be precise, who were working on cleaning and protecting pieces of ancient ships that had been brought up from the sea and were being prepared to be shipped off to other museums. On the open grounds are a number of workshop areas, such as this one focused on rope making, while others deal with woodworking and other aspects of shipbuilding.

Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde, Denmark

This is why we are here; we are going out on the high seas for some sailing aboard a replica Viking ship. Now, you might better understand my earlier description of plundering and mayhem upon reaching this coastal town.

Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde, Denmark

With time to spare and our tour including entry into the museum, we headed over to get an early look at what’s featured inside. On the left side of this photo, you can see the type of boat we’d be boarding in due time.

Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde, Denmark

Wow, even if they are fragments, I’m thoroughly impressed with what we are seeing of original Viking ships. Back in 1962, five ships were salvaged from the mud about 12 miles north of Roskilde; they are now known as the Skuldelev ships based on the area where they were discovered. The ships were scuttled in order to create a hazard for others who might have been considering attacking Roskilde. This particular ship, known as Skuldelev 2, was a 30-meter-long warship built in the Dublin, Ireland, area around the year 1042. Over the course of four years, shipbuilders here in Roskilde built a replica of this ship, naming it the Sea Stallion from Glendalough (in Danish: Havhingsten). They painted it black, red, and orange, and you can see it in the photo following the rope shop above.

Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde, Denmark

Approximately 39 generations ago, some of our ancestors helped in varying capacities to build these ships. Lucky us for being able to see these five old Viking ships today as this museum, too, will close at some point in the future because the ships need to move to a new facility (yet to be built) that doesn’t expose the old timbers to the sunlight which damages them.

Caroline Wise and John Wise at the Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde, Denmark

These may be the faces of pillocks, but they are certainly not angry Vikings. It was just a dozen years ago that nobody would have confused us for anything other than serious marauders as we were getting our Viking on like it was nobody’s business; just check this post here to verify the ferocity.

Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde, Denmark

That is not us out on the fjord but some other Vikings (tourists) because getting photos while on the boat rowing or dealing with the raising and lowering of the sail in tight confines doesn’t make for very good images. The one-hour adventure included safety instructions, getting onboard, learning how to row as a group, and finally getting out on the water and back to port. Before you know it, the $89-a-person journey is already over, leaving us wishing for a longer three-hour trip onto the fjord.

Caroline Wise at the Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde, Denmark

It’s only our 3rd day in Denmark, and there are so many reasons to come back.

Smørrebrød at Pipers Hus in Roskilde, Denmark

Reason Number 1: more smørrebrød. These fine specimens of open-faced yummy treats were taken at Pipers Hus up the hill between the port and the cathedral. You couldn’t ask for a better setting on a beautiful day which was exactly the day we were having in Roskilde.

Note: upon getting home and being determined to add smørrebrød to our diet, we are finding it nearly impossible to find bay shrimp in the stores. Not even Whole Foods is offering them, though we are having no problem finding raw horseradish root.

Wasp on Caroline's finger in Roskilde, Denmark

While I and others frantically gesticulate, even jumping from our seats to avoid the wasps, Caroline tries calming me by demonstrating that these flying insects are not bloodthirsty ferocious incarnations of Vikings. I think she’s only mastered this level of calm due to her practice of dealing with my antics for over 30 years. She should be thanking me for this ability to manifest zen in the face of such a deadly threat.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

This is the King’s entry to Roskilde Cathedral that we’ll not be entering through. Not that we ever skip out on visiting cathedrals, churches, chapels, temples, mosques, or synagogues if they are available, but this particular cathedral has been getting the endorsement of everyone who has heard about our plans to come to Roskilde. We’ve been to a good number of incredible places that are dedicated to worship, so we are curious why this one has elicited such enthusiasm.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

Upon walking in, nothing really stands out that screams, you’ve arrived at the place.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

Near the entry, a custodian has opened an otherwise locked gate and is inside the crypt cleaning coffins. I interrupted him, thinking this might be my best chance to catch an unobstructed view of some ornate coffins; after a second of thought, he welcomed me in. Little did I understand what was still to be found here.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

A few chapels down, King Christian IX and Queen Louise are buried in this tomb, and what we’re about to discover is that nearly every other king and queen from about the last 1000 years are buried here at the cathedral, too. Something else that is interesting about this particular burial site is that the grieving maiden looks very much like the mermaid statue in Copenhagen, and that is no coincidence. They were both created by Edvard Eriksen using his wife and an actress as models for the body and head of each statue.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

From the 11th century until 1443, Roskilde was the capital of Denmark. Maybe it was this distinction that elevated the city to be the place where royalty would be laid to rest. To date, there are between 37 and 40 tombs of Danish monarchs taking up permanent residence inside this old building, with parts that date back nearly 900 years, while the main cathedral was finished only about 460 years ago.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

This is Denmark’s largest organ, with more than 6000 pipes and 100 stops. Forgive me, but I didn’t know what was meant by stops, and I likely am not alone, so here’s a simple explanation: stops are sets of organ pipes that the organist activates to control timbre and pitch range, enabling the performance of intricate polyphonic music unique to the organ. Known as the Raphaëlis Organ, the original organ from the Middle Ages was rebuilt in 1554 by Herman Raphaëlis, hence the name, and then in 1654, it was renovated, taking into Baroque elements that were popular at the time. The last restoration occurred between 1988 and 1991.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

There are so many details that become increasingly difficult to see here in the cathedral as we look over into the side chapels where the many monarchs of Denmark are entombed. The Renaissance era altarpiece standing tall before the congregation was made in Antwerp around the year 1560 while the altar turns out to be relatively new from the 1850s, with two previous versions being lost to time, possibly. The choir stalls on the left and right of the chancel were carved of oak and still feature intricate details, even though they are now over 500 years old, having been crafted between 1490 and 1500.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

Queen Margrethe I is probably best known for bringing together the kingdoms of Denmark, Sweden, and Norway in the Kalmar Union. As her husband, King Haakon VI, died early in his reign at only 40 years old (she was 33), the queen took on the role of regent as her son Olaf was too young to rule. He, too, died young, leaving Margrethe to continue ruling until 1412, when she died at the age of 59. She was also known as the queen who pushed back on the powerful Hanseatic League.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

We are in Christian IV’s Chapel, which houses the sarcophagi and coffins of no less than five dignitaries, including King Christian IV himself, who rests in the casket on the right in the background. Christian IV was the king behind the building of Rosenborg Castle that we visited yesterday.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

The sarcophagus of Queen Sophia Amalia, wife of King Frederick III, who’s entombed on her left, is also in the Christian IV Chapel.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

King Frederick IV and his wife, Queen Louise, are interred in these extravagant marble sarcophagi; there’s one directly behind the one in the foreground that appears as a mirror image.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

Queen Charlotte Amalie, wife of Christian V. Charlotte, came to Denmark from Kassel, Germany, north of Frankfurt, adding the Danish language to her repertoire of French, German, Italian, and likely a smattering of Latin. It was while reading about her life that I learned about “court dwarfs.” These people of short stature were traded and owned by members of the court and used as gifts to kings and queens. As a kind of sidekick, the dwarf next to a king gave the impression of the king being a giant while the dwarf also offered the appearance of being a “Kobold,” a magic and mythological goblin or hobgoblin. Charlotte’s dwarf went by the name Frøken Elsebe (Miss Elsebe), a quite magical name if you ask me.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

Christian V – the first absolute monarch of Denmark. There are so many interesting details on the sarcophagi and coffins that one could gather 100s of images of details while also photographing the entire tomb before also capturing it in its setting; each angle is as interesting as the first. It was Christian V who ordered the clearing of Catholic artifacts from the chancel, creating space for his and his wife’s internment.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

The Absalon Arch is the bridge between the cathedral and the Roskilde Palace. A very small corner of the arch can be seen in the third photo down on this post. The original crumbling Gothic arch that was here since the time of Absalon was torn down and rebuilt as an exact replica of the 12th-century arch.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

In the foreground is King Frederick IV on the left and to the right Queen Louise. The farthest sarcophagus, centered just behind the altarpiece, is the resting place of Queen Margrethe I, while her brother Christopher, Duke of Lolland, is in the small tomb at the center. It turns out that his sarcophagus is empty, and the young man is likely buried under the church as his original tomb was destroyed during the Reformation.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

Private box of Christian IV that is no longer in use as current monarchs sit in the chancel.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

More than 1,000 nobles and citizens are buried under the floor of the church.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

Frederick V, the drunken king, somehow still earned an impressive sarcophagus. His father, Christian VI, had considered declaring the man incapable of becoming a king, but in the end, his broken son was allowed to assume the role, though his advisors likely played a greater role.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

King Christian III (August 12, 1503 – January 1, 1559) was the first Protestant king. As a prince, he met with monk Martin Luther, and in 1536, he implemented the Reformation, turning his country Lutheran.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

The Chapel of the Magi, also known as the Three Kings Chapel, where Christian III and Frederick II are interred, was likely built between the 1360s and 1370s and was commissioned by Christian I.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

In the background to the right is King Frederick II (1 July 1534 – 4 April 1588), who was the son of Christian III. The center column is referred to as the King’s Column where more than a few Danish royals have had their heights etched into the column, including Peter the Great. While in the chapel, we failed to see any of the markings, probably because we were overwhelmed with the room and the ornate tombs.

Roskilde Cathedral in Roskilde, Denmark

With that, we concluded our three-day immersion in the history of Denmark and turned our attention to some simple sightseeing that required the exercise of no brain cells, only the exercise of leg muscles, but more on that after our return to Copenhagen.

Caroline Wise in Roskilde, Denmark

In our ongoing series of photos in poor taste where Caroline has ridden the Wild Wiener and Kissed the Cock, I present you Caroline at the Skänk bar.

Roskilde, Denmark

For a city that was once the capital of Denmark, Roskilde is understated and seems to have a rather small population. It turns out that they’ve suffered a number of fires that caused serious damage including one in 1968 that burned over 100 buildings, many of them historical. On our way back to the train station, we stopped along the shopping street for coffee, an ice cream neither of us enjoyed, and a bottle of rhubarb soda.

Main Station in Copenhagen, Denmark

And lickety-split, we were back in Copenhagen for the next leg of our vacation of intense exploration.

Caroline Wise in Copenhagen, Denmark

First up, we’ll need a couple of bikes courtesy of Donkey Republic. We are heading south out of town on those incredible bike paths we first enjoyed just a couple of days before.

Tårnby Church in Tårnby, Denmark

Through Tårnby, past their 12th-century church, we were pedaling to Dragør, Denmark, on a 30km (18.5 miles) roundtrip in order to gain another perspective of the country, and what a beautiful day to be able to do this.

Caroline Wise on the way to Dragør, Denmark

We just passed the Copenhagen airport, and we have yet to see a hint of hill or mountain anywhere on the horizon.

Caroline Wise on the way to Dragør, Denmark

We did find some friendly horses and some apples that weren’t fully ripe yet, although that didn’t stop us from taking a couple of bites as one never knows how often one will get to snack on Danish apples on a late afternoon bike ride under blue skies. Further down the trail, we passed the Store Magleby Church from the 12th century, not knowing that there were traces of an Iron Age settlement from 200 AD nearby. Not that we might have been able to see anything, but this is part of the trouble of going off the beaten path and not having knowledge of everything beforehand.

Dragør, Denmark

Obviously, we’ve reached the harbor in Dragør.

Dragør, Denmark

Back in the middle of the 15th century, there was an annual herring market here in town, which brought in up to 30,000 traders and fishermen, but by about 1500, it disappeared. One can only wonder if overfishing contributed to the decline or if there were political reasons that intruded into the trade.

Dragør, Denmark

Even as the sun starts to dip low in the sky, we are not finished with our exploration of the harbor area, which will be about four hours too little for our liking. Add yet another reason to return to Denmark.

Dragør, Denmark

The opposite side of the harbor is as enchanting as the other.

Caroline Wise in Dragør, Denmark

Caroline’s enthusiasm for things, places, stuff, and even me is such an endearing large part of who she is, but here at the water’s edge, it is the Øresund Bridge in the background that holds her imagination right now, that and the shells she was looking at.

Copenhagen, Denmark

It’s getting late as we approach town to the spectacular glow of sunset.

Copenhagen, Denmark

Riding over the Dyssebroen wooden pedestrian and cycling bridge, we had to stop for this look at the Amager Bakke (hill), also known as Amager Slope or Copenhill. According to Wikipedia, the artificial hill stands 85 m (279 ft) tall with a sloped roof that doubles as a year-round artificial ski slope, hiking slope, and climbing wall. The climbing wall is the world’s tallest climbing wall at 80 meters.

At this point on our ride, we are passing through the notorious Freetown Christiania, which at one time was not recommended to visit without a local as your escort.

Copenhagen, Denmark

We are riding over the Inderhavnsbroen pedestrian and bicycle bridge near Nyhavn and are growing sad that our time in Copenhagen is quickly approaching its end. True, another adventure in a country neither of us has ever visited begins tomorrow, but our time in Denmark has been nothing less than perfect, as easily evidenced by these photos.

Copenhagen, Denmark

Seeing we were already in Nyhavn and a bit reluctant, having dinner in the single most touristy spot in the city felt like a mistake, and we expected that we’d likely overpay for a meal that would leave us flat. Restaurant Galionen at Nyhavn 23 was the place we chose because they had tartars on the menu. The complimentary fries with chile mayo helped improve our reluctance, and the rhubarb trifle went far in making our last dinner in Copenhagen a worthy one.

Caroline Wise in Copenhagen, Denmark

The look of satisfied tired as we board the M4 to Orientkaj one more time. Tomorrow, we land in Sweden.

Copenhagen – Day 2

A harbor at Nordhavn in Copenhagen, Denmark

Word of the hour: Tolerance.

“When in Rome, do as the Romans” does not hold true for my fellow Americans when they are out and about. They are tone-deaf to those around them. American and Chinese people must be some of the most brand-conscious label shills, whereas most of the other nations represented here aim for a more understated conservative appearance. The Europeans smoke more, so they don’t get a free pass, but the “just left the gym” look needs to be left Stateside. There sure are outliers here in Europe, but the vast majority do not look to emphasize the slovenly, downright stupid look that so many Americans display. Combined with their booming voices, they demonstrate they’ve just arrived from the United States of Vulgar. This monicker holds fast in the same way yoga pants grip the pubis, which should be reconsidered as proper attire worn in shared public spaces such as here at breakfast in our hotel on a Sunday morning.

I’m not asking for or stating that I need tolerance, as I am old and beyond hope. I’m asking that others should exercise forbearance for the grumpy old man who (at least quietly) writes about his indignation. I’d like to claim that I’m not begging for conformity, just civility, but I admit that this is a fine line. Maybe people are acting as if they are in Rome after all, except in this age, Circus Maximus is celebrated every day.

Tram tunnel in Copenhagen, Denmark

Leaving our hotel at the beautiful Nordhavn harbor on the Øresund strait, we boarded the driverless metro at Orientkaj to head into town. While we’ve ridden some line-specific tram routes at airports, I don’t believe we’ve ever ridden an automated subway route.

Man sleeping in shop window Copenhagen, Denmark

No hashtag, no QR code, and no info at all as to why this man is sleeping in a storefront window. It seems obvious to me that it’s some kind of art project, but I could be wrong, and it could be a study in psychology or philosophy. Upon returning home, I searched for hints about why this person had turned this shop window into his bedroom, but nothing was to be found.

Taarnet (Green Towers) coffee shop at Kongens Nytorv in Copenhagen, Denmark

These structures are known as the Green Towers, and there are two of them in Copenhagen. At one time, they were payphone booths with a dedicated operator, back when the Danes were adopting phone service. Today, they are offering refreshments. Coffee or beer, plus a variety of other food and drinks, are available with plenty of outdoor seating on the plaza, which has me wondering how popular these locations are during the short cold days of winter.

Kongens Nytorv in Copenhagen, Denmark

Here at Kongens Nytorv, the largest square in Copenhagen, we once again see Christian V (1646 – 1699), who might have been the most popular leader of the kingdom. Maybe it was his common-man appeal since King Christian V wasn’t considered an educated man and only spoke Danish and German in an age when French was the lingua franca of politics. This limited his opportunity to speak directly with other dignitaries of his stature.

Nyhavn in Copenhagen, Denmark

Walking in the footsteps of the tens of millions of visitors who’ve preceded our stay in Copenhagen means we’ll not see anything today that countless others haven’t already. This realization applies to nearly everywhere we’ve been and also will be true for future generations: the only thing possible to change is an individual’s interpretation of their experience in a locale. Then again, what does it matter how anyone else sees anything? As I’ve stated before, this blog is not meant to enlighten others, aside from maybe inspiring someone to see what can be done in a day when one is willing to go hard. Instead, this post and all the others are about reminding Caroline and me where we’ve been, where our feet have hit the cobblestone.

Nyhavn in Copenhagen, Denmark

While I blog out here on the internet relatively anonymously, my mark will likely not be remembered for long into the future, unlike Emil Zeuthen Svitzer, who founded a salvage company back in 1833 that became a global entity plying the seas and is commemorated by this gnarly bust of a diver. But that’s okay; I’m only looking to be memorable to my wife and me, and maybe my daughter.

Caroline Wise and John Wise at Nyhavn in Copenhagen, Denmark

Everybody has to visit Nyhavn when in this city. Here’s my proof that I photoshopped us into the scene.

Nyhavn in Copenhagen, Denmark

If only I were a professional regarding photography! I would have used the correct lens to not only capture this colorful image of Nyhavn, but I would have been able to properly catch the entire reflection, more of the blue sky, and a wider perspective of it all. Sadly, I opt for expediency and convenience, in part because we are trying to best utilize our time to see and experience as much as possible. Knowing the foibles of memory, we do need the images and musings I am capable of capturing, so something about these days remains in our heads after they have been stuffed full of new impressions.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

Welcome to Rosenborg Castle, the former home to six kings, but only for about 150 years. Afterward, the castle would become the repository for the crown jewels and continues in this function to this day.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

Caroline Amalie of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Augustenburg (1796 – 1881) was Queen of Denmark and wife of King Christian VIII (1786 – 1848) from 1839 until his death in 1848, but why she’s here is beyond me because she and her husband lived in Christiansborg Palace. Maybe this was a surplus statue?

Botanical Garden in Copenhagen, Denmark

Our idea of visiting Rosenborg didn’t go off as planned, as entries were sold out for about an hour. With tickets for the next available time slot in hand, we walked across the street to find out what we could see in the Botanical Garden. First up was this pond. We had wanted to head into a section behind it that features a statue of famous astronomer Tycho Brahe, but wouldn’t you know that the area is closed for renovations?

Botanical Garden in Copenhagen, Denmark

“Behold my micro penis, but if that fails to impress, I have this awesome tail!” –  “Meh, I’m at a loss of what to do with your tail, and that tiny thing you call penis that’s lost in your pubic hair does not deserve to be called a penis, and that is that. As a matter of fact, you might want to travel south to the Netherlands, where Zacharias Janssen recently invented the microscope, to see if he can find your diminutive manhood!”

Botanical Garden in Copenhagen, Denmark

Without a lot of time at the Botanical Garden, we weren’t going to have the opportunity to visit the old palm house built between 1872 and 1874, but we’ll include it on a subsequent visit to Copenhagen should we be so fortunate. Instead, we took a moment to appreciate the grounds and some of the unfamiliar plants before returning to Rosenborg Castle.

Word of the Midday: Patience.

It’s possible that those standing around obliviously or who have formed a wall of people by walking shoulder-to-shoulder are only out traveling for the first time in their lives. Those four Californians talking loudly with their affected gravely vocal fry must have been rewarded for such ugly public displays in their native Los Angeles, making them unaware of how profound their stupidity appears to us, who must endure their petty attempts to look and sound “cool.”

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

Once inside the castle, all we needed to do was be patient and stick around like this bust of Charles I of England until the pestilence out of California moved on and remained well enough ahead of us that we’d never cross paths again. My apologies for including these particular details, but I’m on vacation, and more than usual, my senses are fine-tuned to bringing everything into mind with the hopes of gathering indelible impressions so when transgressions against civility raise the ugly specter of LOOK AT ME, I’m forced to oblige, no matter my disdain.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

This desk from 1580 was used by Christian IV (1577 – 1648) and would be familiar to him today because it remains where it was when he ruled Denmark so many hundreds of years ago. Unbeknownst to Caroline and me at the time of our visit and sadly mostly out of view, the lions mounted at the tops of the desk’s legs have movable eyes and jaws.

Update: After posting this, I received a reply to an email I sent to the staff of the Rosenborg Castle. A curator was kind enough to answer my question whether there was any video they knew of featuring the movable/animated parts of the desk, and this is their kind response:

“The mechanism is missing, so we don’t know how it worked, but the eyes were rolling, and the tongue moved back and forth. The back of the head can be opened to get access to the mechanism. In the mane just over the “shoulder” is a hole where a key can be inserted and the mechanism wound.”

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

The layout of many rooms in this palace is accurate to what Rosenborg would have appeared like to Christian IV from 1610 to 1648 while he lived here. Many of the furnishings, art, tapestries, and other details were as he set things up during his reign, with his successors making some adjustments but maintaining their authenticity.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

This astronomical clock, built by Isaac Habrecht in 1594, was originally placed at Christiansborg Palace and was only later moved to this location. It turns out that Habrecht and his brother Josias were commissioned to build the 2nd astronomical clock at Strasbourg Cathedral in France based on a design by Conrad Dasypodius. We have visited that cathedral, but the Habrechts’ clock was decommissioned in 1842 and replaced with a 3rd version that is operational to this day. To connect our world of history, we’ve also seen the astronomical clock in Prague, Czech Republic, which is the oldest operating such mechanism, dating from 1410.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

On the 1st of July, 1644, when King Christian IV would have already been 67 years old, he was battling the Swedish Navy on the Baltic Sea near Poland when cannon fragments injured him and took his right eye. After recovering from the initial blow from the wound, he fought on, cementing a reputation of being a warrior king. I find it interesting that he understood the historical ramifications of preserving this gruesome reminder of a nearly fatal injury and that future generations might be interested in seeing his bloodied battle attire.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

Even kings must move their bowels and while the indoor plumbing drained, it did so into the moat surrounding the castle. This arrangement was okay most of the time and met the demands of the Danish aristocracy’s expectations of luxury, except at those times when the water in the moat evaporated, leaving a steaming pit whose fetid stench wafted back into the castle.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

I had to ask my local AI assistant Claude about the significance of the octagon during the Middle Ages, assuming that was the period that influenced the Early Modern when Rosenborg was being built. Well, it turns out that the octagon held geometrical, theological, and even mystical significance for medieval architects and designers as a symbol of order, balance, and harmony.

Caroline Wise at Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

And here’s the shape again used for a mirror that at one time might have served Queen Anne Catherine of Brandenburg, wife of Christian IV, to see her reflected image, but today it’s showing me my queen, Caroline Elisabeth of Frankfurt.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

Lingering in wait for others to exit an area allows us to dwell in a space unrushed by some necessity to “see it all” here in Copenhagen. Then, by trying my best to capture images that will prove worthy enough for inclusion, we’ll have points of reference to return to at a time when we can be more considerate of the things we have encountered. Once back home, wanting to offer context to the photos I’m sharing, I end up reading quite a bit about the history and other people’s observations that might complement my post. Caroline comes in at the point where I believe I’m done writing to check my grammar but also ends up fact-checking things as she’s never sure where I took liberties with the interpretation of what I thought I was understanding. Being German, she’s quite the stickler for factual, grammatically correct blog posts. [To anyone reading this blog: I apologize for errors that escaped my scrutiny – Caroline (only human, after all)]

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

These exercises in planning, traveling, visiting, reading, editing, and the discussions threaded between it all ultimately start to build an evolving body of knowledge that only leads to us wanting to know even more and ultimately make a return visit to better integrate the broad tapestry of pieces all the more likely. We’ve already started looking at books about the history of Denmark but are finding the offerings in English to be rudimentary and not very comprehensive.

Tapestry at Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

Throughout our time in Scandinavia (but not yet at this point in our journey), we noticed that none of the yarn shops in Denmark, Sweden, or Norway featured any tools or supplies to support local weavers and spinners. When asking about this, we learned that weaving in these countries is not really a big thing. (Caroline tells me that there are popular Scandinavian weaving magazines, loom manufacturers, and renowned fiber art schools, but for the casual shopper, this is not apparent). I went looking for where the tapestries in Rosenborg and Christiansborg originated and found that they were often woven by artists in Belgium, and contributions also arrived from France, Italy, England, and Germany. King Christian IV brought Flemish weavers to Denmark to establish local tapestry workshops, but that apparently never truly caught on.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

There are a lot of memories embedded in this post that will exceed its casual readability, and while I would like to greatly reduce my self-imposed obligation to offer an extensive record of our adventure, the only thing compromised would be what we can reflect upon. Take this image of hunting gear; I’m not a hunter, and aside from the horn, I can’t identify the other pieces here, but the ensemble of pieces taken as a whole probably looked much the way it did the last time the hunter king hung up his gear not knowing he’d never venture out again.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

How it is that we can move from room to room without crowds getting in the way, considering the waiting time for entry into the castle baffles me. Moments alone allow me to try and see the space in a way the last residents might have, but no amount of imagination can bridge that gap in time, culture, and knowledge of convenience as I’ve come to experience it.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

To build ornate structures of memory, words, images, and experiences from a life of exploring knowledge, history, art, music, flavors, sensations, and the diverse impressions we modern humans can pack into our lives fits me like the proverbial glove. If I feel amiss about something that may never be known or possessed, it would be that my limited capacity will forever be denied knowing a fraction of what I desire to understand. There are no riches, objects, or luxuries that could adequately feed my mind or happiness quite the same way if my life was left wanting more than what’s been achieved. I don’t mean to imply that if I were poor, I would have been satisfied with poverty-induced isolation or that if I were left lacking in the opportunity to acquire books and tools that would have allowed me to fulfill my hunger for feeding a curiosity that I could have drawn happiness from those deprivations. Instead, I’m well aware that I’ve always had just enough to remain on the good side of gratitude.

Clock detail at Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

At what moment did the previous residents of this castle ask themselves, when is enough enough?

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

Does someone like Johann Sebastian Bach ever feel like they’ve been able to express music adequately? Did Marcel Proust gain a sense of possessing a formidable vocabulary? Or what about the greatest mathematicians? Did they consider they’d arrived at a mastery over maths? Isn’t there something in those who are trying to achieve the nebulous that their goal is just out of grasp and that if they could seize that unknown piece of wisdom, their efforts would all make sense in some way that might squash their desire for the next thing? Did any king ever find enough? Do the wealthy come to understand the limits of time versus money and what they are ultimately exchanging? Where do the common people learn the extent of what their situation can offer them? “I want it all” seems ridiculous, crazy even.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

The Knight’s Hall with Christian VI’s throne at one end…

Narwhal Tusk Throne at Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

…and the coronation chairs guarded by three silver lions. Note that the chair on the left has been built using four “magical” narwhal horns which at the time were worth their weight in gold.

Colt pistols gift of Abraham Lincoln at Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

From the upper floors, we moved into the basement that houses the vault that protects the crown jewels and other valuables. These engraved Colt pistols were a gift to King Christian IX from President Abraham Lincoln, and before finding their way into the exhibit, the king actually used them on occasion for hunting.

Ivory sculpture at Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

When we humans find that things are exotic and scarce, we put the highest value on those objects. Harvesting ivory, rhino horn, Quagga skin and meat, and tiger parts, we bring those species into extinction or close to it. We’ll allow people to die in horrible labor situations while they are collecting gold, diamonds, or other precious minerals. Today, we offer the wealthy private planes, unlimited property, and inordinate access to resources that we’ll likely look back upon and realize that we were allowing their death cult of wealth to wreak havoc by their exploitation while we worshiped their daring to take advantage of things at our expense. Ideas of divine right have changed little in 1,000 years.

Riding trappings at Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

When you need that special saddle for mounting your narwhal on your wedding day.

Christian IV’s crown at the Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

Has anyone else noticed that Donald Trump’s hair has a certain color similarity with crowns? This was the crown of Christian IV while the Orange One only wishes he had one, along with the absolutist rule leaders once had.

Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

There were two jeweled cases made of silver and agate with enameled flowers in this display case, but it was the one on the right that caught my attention. Both were made by German artist Hans Jakob Mair from Augsburg in 1680. We’ve likely seen his work before, as he apparently created pieces for the Habsburgs, too. I’d like to see this piece as a kind of early television where the king could gaze into the agate and see himself reflected in the polished stone as though he were watching TV.

Queen Sophie Magdalene crown at the Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen, Denmark

A crown fit for a queen. With that, it was time for us to move on to lunch fit for royalty.

Copenhagen, Denmark

No, this was not the carriage that would bring us to our simple yet luxurious meal at the top of a department store, but I will never fail to be impressed that people can leave $3,500 to $6,000 bikes chained up in public while in the States, we’d have to treat them like they were the crown jewels else they’d be nabbed in a quick second.

Smørrebrød in Copenhagen, Denmark

Smørrebrød was an instant favorite with us, and now, after having them for lunch for a second time, I can assure you that once back home in Arizona, we’ll make every effort to enjoy them again and again. From left to right, shrimp salad, potato, fried herring with capers and dill, and steak tartar with horseradish, pickle, and egg yolk.

Cardamom roll and coffee in Copenhagen, Denmark

According to one legend, it was botanist Carl Linnaeus back in the day advising important people in high places that the French habit of taking coffee was a threat to Swedish culture that was enjoying a “Kaffi” too. Between 1756 and 1817, coffee was banned on five different occasions; in retaliation, people inverted the word Kaffi and shuffled the syllables to come up with the word “Fika.” To this day in Sweden, Fika is the moment in the day when people stop for a coffee and a sweet and sit for a while to socialize. It is considered one of the essential breaks of daily life. The most common sweets appear to be the Kardemummabullar (cardamom buns) and Kanelbullar (cinnamon buns). We’ve opted to share our first cardamom bun this afternoon, and while we are obviously not in Sweden (yet), we are taking advantage of the opportunity to get a headstart on practicing how to Fika.

Frederik's Church in Copenhagen, Denmark

Here I am, well past the halfway point as far as the visual side of this post goes, sharing 3,300 words so far, but what you couldn’t know is that while on vacation, I penned fewer than 350 words as notes for when we got home. We were simply too busy enjoying our impressions and smiling at each other to worry about analyzing how we felt about anything, as happiness to be here was enough to sustain everything else that food didn’t care for. Yesterday, we were too late to visit the interior of Frederik’s Church; today, we won’t miss this opportunity.

Frederik's Church in Copenhagen, Denmark

This was not an easy place for me to photograph; the first image was from my phone and not my DSLR, this is not the first time I wish I’d brought the wide angle lens for my camera.

Frederik's Church in Copenhagen, Denmark

Frederick’s Church was named after King Frederick V, who placed the foundation stone for the building of this monument. Just how this drunkard king managed it is a bit of a surprise, as his alcoholism and hedonism meant he was essentially a failure in regard to governing. His lavish life led to an early death at 42 years old.

The Palace Chapel in Copenhagen, Denmark

This is the Palace Church that is part of the Christiansborg Palace which we are about to visit. Just like the Fredericks Church, it was designed by noted architect Nicolai Eigtved.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

Because one can never visit too many palaces and castles, we are about to step into Christiansborg Palace.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

And to be honest, while the space is certainly opulent, it feels like it’s missing the character and personality that Rosenborg had oodles of.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

Maybe visiting successive lavishly ornate places one after the other is a bad idea as comparisons are too easily made. Over 35 years ago, I visited Neuschwanstein Castle in southern Germany, and I can’t compare it to anything ever because I hardly remember a thing about the place, not to say we should have waited 35 years between visiting and Rosenborg and Christiansborg as the likelihood I’ve me being alive at 95 years old seems kind of remote.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

Maybe if we lived in Denmark and were to see these spaces being used for government functions, it would be like visiting the White House in Washington, D.C., where one understands the utility of the space and that it’s not just some giant place that once served a purpose.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

Mind you, this is a beautiful room, and I’m including both photos I took. In the previous angle, I feel that the lighting is perfect, while in this view having the perspective to see the art on the wall offers a better hint of life that’s occupied this palace since it started being used by Danish leaders.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

With the palace still used by the government to this day, I suppose I have to understand that it is not, strictly speaking, a museum to house treasures. The space must function as required for official governmental and diplomatic duties, whereas Rosenborg really is nothing more than a repository of Danish treasures and a well-defined historical representation of another age.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

Something else that might be impacting my ability to find a vibe is that we are relatively late in the day, and knowing that the clock is working against us means we must rush from room to room and only take cursory glances at the pieces deemed worthy enough to adorn the palace walls, floors, and ceilings. These large-scale tapestries (17 in total) were commissioned for the 50th birthday of Denmark’s current Queen Margrethe II in 2000 and woven by French and Belgian weavers to the designs of Danish artist Bjørn Nørgaard. They took ten years to complete and were inaugurated at the Queen’s 60th birthday in 2000. The tapestries depict different phases of Danish history as well as hopes for the future, and these photos do not do them justice.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

I know there are stories that belong to this palace and that not only do government functions occur here, but the royal family uses part of the palace as a residence. In a race to collect impressions, the larger narrative cannot be known, which has me wondering how, in our day-to-day lives, the race to collect wealth obscures the sight of a better narrative that might otherwise shape healthier and happier lives.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

How, in an age of relative enlightenment, do people grow up to accept the titles of kings and queens? The idea that their education hasn’t illuminated their minds to the absurdity of such an idea and that maybe they take the whole thing seriously sounds bizarre to me. Are they not simply actors pretending that they are fulfilling some role on a stage of stupidity where they take up thrones and accept people greeting them as though this is absolutely normal here in the 21st century? Adults living fairytales for people living in fantasies because reality might be too challenging.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

Below the palace are the ruins of previous versions of royal residences that ultimately sink out of view. My hunch is that the palace above us, as it’s used by a monarchy, will figuratively sink out of view too, as the roles of royalty fade over time, and Christiansborg will become a museum just as Rosenborg Castle has.

Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen, Denmark

The palace kitchen is nothing more than an exhibit these days as with Foodora, Wolt, and maybe even Ubereats delivering, why would anyone keep a kitchen larger than 10 McDonald’s kitchens operational? Hello, this is Dominos; I see that you are calling from the Queen’s number. Would you like the usual?

Copenhagen, Denmark

This is Christian IV’s Brewhouse, first opened in 1608, that now serves as the Lapidarium of Kings, a home for statues. Open Wednesday through Sunday from 1:00 to 5:00 p.m. during the month of July, that’s it. This concept of making tourism compatible with seasons and the local population is a peculiar thought.

Copenhagen, Denmark

Last night’s walk took us northerly toward the Little Mermaid; this late day, we are heading in a southerly direction.

Caroline Wise at Hans Christian Anderson Statue in Copenhagen, Denmark

We briefly discussed a visit to Tivoli Gardens across the street from this statue of Hans Christian Andersen that Caroline has snuggled into. He’s looking up at the sign for Tivoli. It seems that almost everyone we’ve spoken with before and during this trip has asked if we’ll be visiting, but we can’t see the draw, and even if everything else is closed, there must be something better to do.

Copenhagen, Denmark

Yesterday, following the vegans in protest brought us to the edge of city hall across from Tivoli, but we were more interested in visiting the Round Tower, so we missed details such as these, and yet again, we are pulling ourselves away from this square as we’ve decided on what’s ahead.

Copenhagen, Denmark

First, we’ll need a tram to the Nørrebro Street station.

Harry's Place in Copenhagen, Denmark

Next, Harry’s Place, which I’d first heard of from foodie YouTuber Mark Wiens. We were here to try their crispy pork sandwich, and it certainly was great, but it turns out that they are really famous for their hot dogs boiled in beef tallow, which makes them super crispy. While we were already stuffed, the woman behind the counter convinced us that life would be incomplete if we didn’t stuff one of these giant wieners down our gullets. Hanging out for a while with our host, we learned how the founder first gathered traction by getting a lucrative contract to serve his hot dogs at the local prison (the crispy sausages are called “Børge” after a local jailer), and from there he continued to gather steam. And the woman, whose name is forgotten, well, she’s been to 41 of the Roskilde Festivals that have been taking place since 1971, and sadly, I’ve never been to one of them, though I lived only 400 miles south of Roskilde, Denmark.

Soren Kierkegaard Grave in Copenhagen, Denmark

Though it had been raining when we arrived at Harry’s Place, it had stopped before we were done, and so we calculated on our good luck that we’d make our next and final destination of the day before it started raining again because the heavens often smile upon us. Bad calculation here, but it was really nothing more than a light sprinkle of moisture, so we were good until we stepped into the Assistens Kirkegård (cemetery). Our puny umbrellas did little during the increasing downpour, but we were already in the cemetery and here to see the graves of Hans Christian Andersen, Niels Bohr (we’d recently seen the movie Oppenheimer), and Søren Kierkegaard. My photo of Andersen’s grave just didn’t work out, so we gave up on the idea of seeing Bohr’s because after getting a reasonable image of Kierkagaard’s final resting place, the celestial onslaught combined with the increasingly close lightning strikes had us sprinting (as much as older people sprint in the dark) across the cemetery trying to avoid the puddles growing in the middle of the paths. Between laughter and minor frustration that we put ourselves out here with nowhere to find cover, we finally made it to the edge of the cemetery, where an underground metro stop was about to return us to Orientkaj, bringing our day in Copenhagen to a close.

Santa Fe and the Turquoise Trail

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Our time at the International Folk Art Market has come to an end, as will our time in Santa Fe today. We considered adding an extra night here, but the mystery of how to spend our day was less intriguing than the idea that if are moving somewhere, we’ll have to spontaneously decide to do things that are relatively unknown. Our agenda contained only one fixed item to explore when we departed Santa Fe; some months ago, we picked up a brochure for the Turquoise Trail, which had captured our curiosity, so there’s that. We are also switching our breakfast plans and venturing into the old town to Tia Sophia’s, because this early in the morning on a Sunday, the streets are not yet busy.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Sure enough, things are quiet on the streets of Santa Fe.

Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Uncertain about whether we’d be able to grab steps during a day that might feature a lot of driving, it was essential that we attempt to get in at least a couple of thousand while still in the cool of the day. It turns out that we’d never visited the Loretto Chapel, but that’s about to be rectified.

Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe, New Mexico

The church was consecrated 145 years ago in 1878, and while the surrounding girls’ school known as the Loretto Academy fell to the wrecking ball back in 1968, the deconsecrated church was saved, becoming a museum and wedding chapel so it didn’t have to become a victim to progress too. Consequently, it costs $5 to enter the space still maintained by the entity that took over the property so many years ago.

Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe, New Mexico

This spiral staircase is a major draw as it features two complete 360-degree turns without a center pole for support. This means that the entire weight of the staircase rests on the bottom step, which some would say defies what should be possible. I have to say that the photo in the chapel showing about a dozen young ladies standing on this spring-like staircase is intriguing; maybe of yet even greater interest is that for the first ten years the staircase existed, there was no handrail. Needless to say, visitors are not allowed to ascend the steps.

Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Jesus wept. John 11:35. Actually, I wrote this at 4:39 p.m., but referencing 11:35 sounded more poetic.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Like a bazaar from another age, a rug and basket trader is set up across the street from the church.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Next to the trader is this confused sculptor who presents us with “Adoration of the alien preparing to eat souls.” Get yours at the Wildhorse Gallery of Santa Fe across the street from the Loretto Chapel. In case aliens are not your thing, they also have live-sized Iron Man sculptures.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Most of Santa Fe does not look like the old town center, sadly.

Mass at the Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Be careful, parishioners attending mass here at the Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi: there are four angels nearby playing a summoning song while a bronze version of an alien satan is waiting to eat your souls. You’ve been warned.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

While the streets of Santa Fe are still quiet, that’s about to change.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

On the main square, the Native American vendors selling handcrafted objects have been setting up, which means that the onslaught is about to begin, signaling Caroline and me to get out of town, or at least the city center.

Museum of Indian Arts & Culture in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Upon arriving in Santa Fe the other day, we learned that our reservation wasn’t for as long as we thought it was. At the time, Caroline suggested we extend it for the extra night so we could spend Sunday visiting museums, but I liked the idea that we move southeast at some point on Sunday so we’d be better positioned for a shorter drive home: a compromise to have the best of both worlds. As a surprise to Caroline, on the way out of the downtown area, I turned left, knowing beforehand that this would take us to Museum Hill instead of staying on the road we were on, which would lead us south and consequently into the general direction of home. This detour is going to take us to the Museum of Indian Arts & Culture.

The first photo I’m sharing from the museum is a pitcher which is approximately 1,000 years old and originated in the Tularosa Basin that was once occupied by members of the Anasazi and Mogollon cultures in southeastern New Mexico. The design references the region, and accordingly, its style is named Tularosa. Maybe I’ve not paid attention prior to today, but the designs are called isomeric patterns, and those on the neck specifically are tesselated isomer patterns. Search engines didn’t want to give up the secret of isomer patterns, insisting that I was looking for information about polyatomic ions, which are known as isomers. Artificial Intelligence to the rescue! Bard explained the following:

These patterns are based on the use of paired forms that can be perceived as reversible. This means that the same design can be seen as either a foreground object or a background pattern, depending on how the viewer’s eye interprets it.

Museum of Indian Arts & Culture in Santa Fe, New Mexico

The more you learn about Native American culture on this continent, the better you can appreciate how difficult it is to visit a museum that adequately approaches a comprehensive overview of the people of this land prior to conquest. While the National Museum of the American Indian in Washington D.C. is the largest, it is one of more than 100 museums with a heavy or exclusive focus on Native American culture. As I sit here asking ChatGPT to continue adding more museums to the list, I realize that we could spend months on the road traveling the country to take in as many Native American museums as we could, and still, we’d only see a fraction of them.

Museum of Indian Arts & Culture in Santa Fe, New Mexico

How this net bag survived hidden in the earth for 2,000 years or more boggles the mind. Equally intriguing is the knowledge that the people who made this were out harvesting plant fibers, treating them, and spinning them before configuring the resulting cordage into a bag in which they placed goods or pottery they’d carry with them for some undeterminable number of years before the bag was lost, forgotten, or thrown away.

Museum of Indian Arts & Culture in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Another example of Tularosa pottery, though it might also be a Reserve type. As an effigy jar from between 1100 and 1150 CE, the shape depicts a bird, which is not unusual for this type of pottery in the Southwest, though this piece is one of the most detailed and realistic recovered so far.

Museum of Indian Arts & Culture in Santa Fe, New Mexico

There’s a terrific video here in the museum about the making of this turkey feather blanket by Mary Weahkee of the Santa Clara Pueblo/Comanche people. The cloak is made from about 17,000 feathers from turkeys that only produce about 600 feathers per bird. She also points out that turkeys were not indigenous to this part of North America and arrived in the southwest from trade with the Aztecs.

Museum of Indian Arts & Culture in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Returning to my thought about the number of museums and the time required to see many of them, it pains me to some small degree that Caroline and I were not more prepared or aware of opportunities while we wandered the United States. Our first interest was often national parks and the landscape of the country before turning our attention to what else might be in the vicinity of our travels. I suppose the good thing is that should we somehow embark on taking in America’s Native American museums, the rest of the population will likely still be preoccupied with capturing selfie-trophies inspired by the influencers they are chained to instead of investigating the history of a people that lived on the lands prior to the arrival of all of us outsiders. This painting is titled “Father Sky, Mother Earth” and was created by Navajo artist Tony Abeyta in 1995.

Museum of Indian Arts & Culture in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Realistic people and animals depicted on pottery were hallmarks of the Mimbres style of Puebloan people a thousand years ago.

Museum of Indian Arts & Culture in Santa Fe, New Mexico

So few pay homage to the Native American peoples and subsequently display a high level of disrespect or simply ignore their heritage and presence. Due to this disrespect, there is much of their culture they’d rather not share with us. This was made clear to Caroline and me upon visiting our first Kachina dance on the Hopi Mesas. As I look at this depiction of a corn dance, I can only dream of ever witnessing it with my own eyes as, too often, the Puebloan people have a mistrust of what we’ll do with the information and images we take away. At least there’s some solace in knowing that colonialization didn’t absolutely destroy a rich culture worth preserving. This 1933 painting titled “Corn Dance” was created by self-taught artist Awa Tsireh (also known as Alfonso Roybal and Cattail Bird) of the San Ildefonso Pueblo.

Museum of Indian Arts & Culture in Santa Fe, New Mexico

This is quite possibly my favorite sculpture ever with the motion, layers, mystery, sense of musicality, the essence of a warrior, and the feeling of the shaman being present. I feel that the sculptor hit the mark in creating something that makes one wonder, “Who was this?”

Santa Fe Botanical Garden, New Mexico

Across the way from Museum Hill lies the Santa Fe Botanical Garden and our last stop in town before we hit the road.

Santa Fe Botanical Garden, New Mexico

Still-green juniper berries are interesting enough, but the beautiful aroma from the plants brought magic to the rather small garden.

Along the Turquoise Trail in New Mexico

On our way out of Santa Fe, we stopped at the Iconik Coffee Roastery in a hipster corner of the city. As though things could get any trendier in this place, the coffee was of particular interest to us because they supply the Pantry where we often eat breakfast and seriously enjoy their java. The roastery has a great look and feel, and it turned out that we could get lunch there, so that’s just what we did. A short time later, we were satisfied and sipping our cold brews while heading south on the Turquoise Trail. Life was good but was about to get better: an old guy in a van sitting roadside next to the Lone Butte General Store was selling something that looked promising and required further investigation. Pecans and roasted pinons were coming home with us.

Along the Turquoise Trail in New Mexico

What we wouldn’t give to see a cow abducted by aliens, but like those antelope crossing signs, we know full well by now that we’ll never see for ourselves the promised sight.

Cerrillos, New Mexico on the Turquoise Trail

Hey Pope, what gives? We pulled into the tiny town of Los Cerrillos with the St. Joseph Catholic Church ON A SUNDAY, and the doors were locked. See if we ever go to Los Cerrillos, New Mexico, again.

Along the Turquoise Trail in New Mexico

While it’s not easy to see in this photo, that’s Santa Fe way out there at the foot of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains just left of center. We are about 40 miles or more from the peaks touching the clouds.

San Francisco de Asis Catholic Church in Golden, New Mexico

Okay, the first note to the Pope was meant tongue-in-cheek, but here we are in faraway Golden, New Mexico, ready to visit the San Francisco de Asis Catholic Church, and while the gates were open, the doors of the church were not. We were not only out here for sightseeing; we were also on a pilgrimage that required we stop and pray at every Catholic church we encountered, and we were being denied. I swear, one more time of finding ourselves locked out, I’ll turn to the dark side and join the Church of Satan.

Sandia Crest National Scenic Byway near Albuquerque, New Mexico

Good thing we got out of Santa Fe when we did and that those churches were closed otherwise, we may not have had time to turn onto the Sandia Crest National Scenic Byway to see where the road goes.

Sandia Crest near Albuquerque, New Mexico

As we reached the crest, the couple on the right just got engaged and asked if we could take their photo. Just then, the couple on the left who were sitting nearby spoke up and told all of us that they, too came up here to get engaged, having done so in the minutes before the other couple arrived. So, I asked them all to come together so I could grab a photo of the happy couples on their way to marriage.

Sandia Crest near Albuquerque, New Mexico

This might be the best view of Albuquerque anyone might ever see. I don’t mean to imply my photo is particularly beautiful, but that from 10,678 feet (3,254 meters), the city doesn’t look as horrid, dirty, and crime-ridden as it really is. Seriously, that city down there wins in many categories of crime, including violence and property violations. Reading up on the contributing factors, I see that limited economic opportunities, poor urban planning, homelessness, financial hardship, substance abuse, and the city’s location as a thoroughfare and hub for a variety of interstate criminal activities all play a role. Looking at it this way has me thinking about the very city we live in, Phoenix, Arizona, but still, Albuquerque is special in the depravity of it all. In some inexplicable way, one simply senses it when down there.

Late afternoon somewhere near Albuquerque, New Mexico

Like a fear of werewolves and vampires, Albuquerqueans must eat dinner before the sun goes down: at 8:00 p.m., finding an open restaurant becomes a near impossibility. We race towards the city I’d rather avoid because, like the Catholic churches in this state are closed on Sunday, most of the damned restaurants are closed too, but we found one place that promises to be open until 9:00. Was it any good? Hell no, as it reflects the environment of this tortured city, but the setting sun with the vast horizon is rather beautiful.

Sunset off Interstate 40 in Western New Mexico

We are on our way to Gallup, New Mexico, for the night, and the spectacular skies force us off Interstate 40 to capture the moment. If this isn’t the kind of iconic southwest sunset one dreams of, then nothing is.

Busy Day in Los Angeles

Santa Monica, California

Maybe it is a luxury of familiarity to guiltlessly use it as an excuse for sleeping in, or are we just lazy? I prefer blaming it on growing older, but then again, admitting that age might be playing a role could convince me that the passage of time is indeed occurring while I try to maintain the illusion that it’s waiting on me. In some sense, time is waiting on my arrival, ready to place me in its past after my run is over.

Fortunately, this morning was not yet my moment to find the exit, and so, without further ado, Caroline and I jumped in the car and drove toward the ocean. Too early for breakfast, which begins at 8:00, we parked in front of the café of our dreams and walked a mile to the sea looming in the distance. I snapped this photo of the mother of St. Augustine of Hippo, a.k.a. Santa Monica, to note the start of our day in Southern California, and then we made our way back up Wilshire Boulevard.

Huckleberry Cafe in Santa Monica, California

Everything about this visit to the Los Angeles area is a luxury; no matter how low cost we try to keep things, there’s no being cheap here. Believe it or not, our motel is on the inexpensive side at $165 a night. Breakfast, on the other hand, doesn’t allow for skimping: although alternatives exist, we were not going to miss eating at Huckleberry Cafe even though we spent $81 for the first meal of the day.

Whoa, I hope that was for more than a pastry and cup of coffee, John? Well, as a matter of fact, we each had the Huckleberry signature breakfast of bacon and eggs with avocado, potatoes, and the most amazing homemade English muffin ever, in addition to a pastry each and a lemon scone that Caroline ordered to go. Mind you, the food charge was only $68 with a 20% tip of $13, bringing the grand total to the aforementioned sum.

Maybe I did this backward, talking about the price before explaining why we return to this café again and again. We love everything about this place, the incredible quality with extraordinary attention to detail that creates an experience worth indulging in as often as we can.

Caroline Wise in the surf in Santa Monica, California

While the idea of a nap was calling, beckoning, pleading, for us to return to whatever residual warmth might have remained in the bed we left 90 minutes earlier, we were not giving in because the vastness and gravity of the Pacific Ocean were tugging at our senses.

The only fixed appointment on the itinerary for this visit from Arizona was a 10:00 reservation at the Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, down the road from Malibu. With time to spare, we pulled up to the ocean for a walk on the beach. Not only was Caroline able to play in the surf barefoot, but we also saw a few cormorants holding out their wings to dry while at least one seal hung out on a distant rock.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Here we are at the Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades for our second visit ever. As of this writing, I can’t say when the last one was as I couldn’t find a record of that trip on my blog, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t been here; it only implies that I can be sloppy in my vigilance of always sharing everything. Then again, this isn’t a blog of the erotic, so that’s not here either, though as you scroll down, there had been an ancient wine bowl featuring a copulating couple, but in my effort to reduce the number of images from 65 down to 35 out of the 376 photos I shot over the course of the entire day meant that one was one that fell to the ax.

J. Paul Getty, upon building his Spanish-style ranch overlooking the Pacific Ocean, may have not yet known that his art collection would outgrow his home. His former residence today serves as a museum library, but the rest of the grounds were developed to house part of his collection. I say a “part of his collection” because even more of his stuff is over at The Getty, which is only about 8 miles away.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

After walking along the pool and fountains and admiring the lush gardens, the first piece that greeted us indoors was this sculpture from the Cycladic period, estimated to be about 5,000 years old. The artist is obviously unknown, but I can’t help but be impressed by the idea that I will likely never create something so enduring with such a fine hand and eye interpreting the essence of a moment out of my own contemporary history. Just as the well-worn marble of this sculpture conveys its own story, I’ll use my page to once again share my own well-worn story about the disdain for all those humans around me who are happy to do much of nothing aside from consuming the banal culture of television, video games, and celebrity.

Art by Peter Paul Rubens at the Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Around 1620, Peter Paul Rubens painted this work titled A Satyr Holding a Basket of Grapes and Quinces with a Nymph. If anyone cares, I believe this satyr is a proto-hipster who has been defining men’s appearance for the past ten years.

Art by Peter Paul Rubens at the Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

This enchanting work is also from Rubens. There’s so much going on, and in some ways, it is quite psychedelic. Titled The Discovery of the Infant Erichthonius, it features an infant with serpent legs, but it is the depiction of Diana of Ephesus in the top right that really captured my attention. Caroline informed me that Diana has often been depicted with dozens of breasts, so maybe Rubens, only including five of them, is denying us viewers the truth. Caroline couldn’t have cared less about the boobs; she wanted to know what that blond, mulleted man was doing with his left hand. [After revisiting the story of Erichthonius, I must concede that mullet-man is actually the third daughter of Cecrops; hips don’t lie after all. – Caroline]

Art by Peter Paul Rubens at the Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

This is the last piece from Rubens I’ll feature here; it is titled Death of Seneca. According to the placard that accompanies this painting, containing some things I should have been taught in school: Seneca was a tutor of Emperor Nero, and the idea behind this work is that Seneca has been sentenced to commit suicide and is being slowly bled out into the tub.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Hello Jupiter, tell me how yer doing. That’s right when I think of sculptures of gods named after planets, the summer of 1990 jumps into my conscious with the lyrics of Dr. Alban singing from Sweden about his motherland Nigeria and Africa. If you weren’t listening to Euro-pop back in the early 90s, you probably have no idea what I’m referencing by Jove. Would you know about the Roman King of the Gods, either?

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Fragment of a sarcophagus with a visualization of the story from the Myth of Endymion, the shepherd prince.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Bear with me for a second on this one. This bronze, nearly 2,000-year-old eagle statue might have been the iPhone or Tesla of its day. What I mean to say is that if you were a foreign visitor arriving in Rome a couple of thousand years ago and you’d never seen such bronze works, this would have been the height of technological and artistic creativity. We humans, in my opinion, appear to believe that the era we are living in is the most complex and advanced society that has yet existed, but why should we begin to think that every preceding culture wasn’t experiencing the exact same sentiment? I can only imagine the sense of awe that other Neanderthals must have felt more than 60,000 years ago when one of them, after carving four holes in a young cave bear’s thigh bone, blew air through this early flute and those present fell into astonishment that they had come so far.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Earlier, I wrote of J. Paul Getty’s home and of the grounds where his art is housed well; this museum is an inspired replica of the Villa dei Papiri (Villa of Papyruses) in Naples, Italy, that was buried by Mount Vesuvius in A.D. 79, preserving much of what lay hidden for centuries. This fresco is but one small section taken during excavation when treasures would simply be taken and sold with little regard to preserving artifacts in situ.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Meet the feet of the Mummy of Herakleides. Why would an Egyptian burial process be featured in a museum that seems to be focusing on all things Roman Empire? You can look at an old map of that empire and either refresh or memory or learn that a large part of Egypt fell under the Roman Empire. This burial happened just before Christianity put an end to the process of mummification, or so that’s the way I understand it.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

History sure opens doors in my mind as this statue that is possibly that of Tiberius of Star Trek fame…you know, James T. Kirk? Oh my, I think I just heard my wife groan as she proofreads this in the near future. Okay, Emperor Tiberius, prior to acquiring his title, suppressed rebels in Dalmatia (modern Croatia), where this statue was found not far from the ruins of Solana (near present-day Split).

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

I don’t own a silver drinking horn, but if I did, I tend to think I’d prefer one with a hybrid praying mantis crossed with a scorpion locked in an embrace with the eagle in the photo above. Considering this, I realize I don’t even own a single thing that’s 2,000 years old or even 200 years old, though I do own a copy of a book printed in 1959, which is not really a good foundation for building my own museum.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Balsamarium in the form of a boxer’s head, a balsamarium is a vessel containing oil. This bronze container is approximately 2,000 years old, triggering the idea that the golden age of Rome must have been about 400 years before its fall.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Various Roman bronze dishes from 1 – 79 AD.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Orpheus and the Sirens floating out of the underworld.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

We look upon this Volute Krater (vessel for mixing wine and water) featuring Apollo and Artemis from 2,500 years ago, and we immediately understand its historic and artistic value, but if I were to break out my terracotta-vase-making kit and paint a naked me on it along with Caroline working her sprang loom while our cat (now deceased) looked on with curiosity, I don’t believe anyone would find artistic merit to it; such is art. I should point out that my painting skills amount to poor outline drawings, maybe half a step beyond stick people, so I would obviously have to accept rejection.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Excuse me, ladies, might you be the Sirens? If so, please dash my brain upon the rocks at the shore as this thing in my head that chose to share so many images from this day is approaching a state of dysfunction and betrayal.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

These instructions for the underworld inscribed on a gold tablet from about 300 BC reads:

(Initiate) I am parched with thirst and perishing!

(Spring) Then come drink of me, the Ever-Flowing Spring, on the right–a white cypress is there. Who are you? Where are you from?

(Initiate) I am the son of Earth and Starry Heaven. But my race is heavenly.

Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

To put it simply, this is being shared as a reminder to my wife how much she liked the plump little fat rolls that added a sense of realism for her.

Ancient Assyrian reliefs at the Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

The Royal Lion Hunt is the name given to this Assyrian relief sculpture that is approaching its 3,000th birthday. This and the following pieces are on loan from the British Museum, London.

Ancient Assyrian reliefs at the Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Protective Spirits.

Ancient Assyrian reliefs at the Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Detail from the above panel stems from Nineveh and is believed to have been created during the reign of Ashurbanipal, the last great king of Assyria.

Ancient Assyrian reliefs at the Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades, California

Blending man, beast, and bird, the artists of what was then the largest empire on earth had no shortage of imagination or skills needed to create such beautiful, long-lasting works that only hint at their worldview. After taking in just about every square inch of the Getty Villa, it was time for a break to rest our now-aching feet. We found a table on the terrace of the Museum Café where I was able to write, and Caroline knitted while we shared a coffee and sparkling water in a fancy blue bottle. When we left, it was too late for lunch and too early for dinner, so we decided to squeeze in a new-to-us destination.

South Coast Botanical Garden at the Palos Verdes Estates, California

Welcome to the South Coast Botanical Garden on the Palos Verdes Peninsula. This is no ordinary garden, though; in many ways, that’s exactly what it looks like. We are standing atop a former mine that was sold in 1956 to Los Angeles County, which used it as a landfill until 1961. April of that year saw the first planting of trees that would become an integral part of this botanical garden which now plays host to more than 200,000 plants and has had Prince Charles visit to learn about the reclamation efforts invested here. Today, it’s John and Caroline who will walk these grounds hoping to discover some toy or soup can working its way through the earth for us to find.

South Coast Botanical Garden at the Palos Verdes Estates, California

This is a Paperbark Tree originally from Australia

South Coast Botanical Garden at the Palos Verdes Estates, California

The next tree to capture my attention is this White Floss Silk Tree native to Peru and Argentina. I can’t admit to understanding its name and feel it would make more sense if it were called Fat Elephant Limbs With Fuck-Off Spikes.

South Coast Botanical Garden at the Palos Verdes Estates, California

That Fat Elephant tree has some nice-looking flowers, though.

South Coast Botanical Garden at the Palos Verdes Estates, California

No, this tree is not called Tree With Poop Pods; it is the Lace Bark Tree.

South Coast Botanical Garden at the Palos Verdes Estates, California

This is Angel’s Trumpet and is from the Datura family, meaning it should never be consumed because if it doesn’t kill you, you might wish you were dead instead of suffering the disturbing hallucinations it’s said to have.

As an experiment in reclamation, the South Coast Botanical Garden is an amazing example, but as far as Southern California gardens go, we’ll stick with the Descanso and Huntington Gardens. Barely 10 miles away is our dinner destination, and after missing lunch, we’re plenty hungry as the garden is closing here at 5:00. [While John makes it sound as if the South Coast Botanical Garden is “less than,” one should keep in mind that not only is Winter not exactly the best time to visit a botanical garden in the Northern Hemisphere, we were also here in the hour before sunset which didn’t really help its appearance. In addition, several garden sections were closed off because of “Glow,” which features creative lighting arrangements between the trees and shrubs and other nighttime entertainment. Unfortunately, we hadn’t been aware of Glow, and while we were somewhat tempted to hide between the shrubs to avoid having to leave and get new tickets for the event, our hungry stomachs told us differently. – Caroline]

Caroline Wise at San Pedro Fish Market, California

San Pedro Fish Market is a hopping lively place, even in a pandemic. Not an inexpensive affair but worth every penny for the price of entry. You are looking at $96 of shrimp fajitas with peppers, onion, and potatoes, garlic bread, lemons, corn, shrimp cocktail, and a michelada. While we barely touched the garlic bread, nearly everything else disappeared because this restaurant on the harbor never disappoints. Another point worth noting, we ordered the “cheap plate” as it was just the two of us. Had we added a whole fish, a small lobster, and a few crab legs, we could have easily spent a few hundred dollars feasting here, and it is serious feasting at its best.

Elvis impersonator at San Pedro Fish Market, California

All of our previous visits had been early in the day, just as they opened, to avoid the worst of the crowds. Well, that turned out to be a flaw in our planning because, at least on Saturday nights, they feature karaoke, including this guy rocking a solid Elvis impersonation. A kid no older than about ten did a mean Montell Jordan as he stomped between the tables with a mic in hand, telling us This Is How We Do It.

From the San Pedro Fish Market, California at night

This view of the harbor is our departing shot as we look back at Terminal Island, enchanted that we have experienced a perfect day.