Polite Culture Shock – Danish Style

Main River in Frankfurt, Germany

There we were, after little more than three full days in Germany, dragging our bags out of Heddernheim over to the Zeilweg tram stop to make our way to the airport. We’d powered through the jetlag and did everything we intended to during our first 72 hours in Frankfurt, though, on the other hand, there’s never enough time for family. Talking with Rouven at Jutta’s assisted living facility yesterday, we discussed the problem of elderly people and those with dementia who’ve not accepted or become aware of their situation. Well, about to leave for Denmark, I considered our hefty itinerary and had to wonder if this was 30-year-old John making plans for 60-year-old John and his 55-year-old wife. At what point will my ambition outgrow the circumstances of our stamina? Maybe the best answer is to remain in motion and always be aware of what we’re typically able to do on a day-to-day and week-to-week basis and use that as a measure of what we might be able to carry into our vacations.

Main River flowing into Rhein River near Mainz, Germany

Seated onboard on our flight out of Germany without my book, all I have are my thumbs to twiddle. Of course, I could write, and that’s what I’m doing while not playing Guess Where We Are, which, of course, is where the Main flows into the Rhein River at Mainz, but the idea of doing so for the 80 minutes we’ll be in the air feels impossible since my ability to identify geography from 35,000 feet over earth is fairly limited. Maybe I should close my notebook and focus on what shenanigans I can break out to bother my seatmate, who also happens to be my wife because there is nothing like deploying some pesky little annoyances I’ve gained such mastery over to entertain at least one of us.

The captain of our SAS flight starts addressing us passengers with, “Herdy dur schmer floompty flerpty der a florgen bork glurgan.” Oh my god, Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show is at the helm! Minutes later, food service began so I can only guess that his announcement was saying something about lunch. Hmmm, our lunch is not like the others. I’d forgotten that we bought business class on this flight, which could easily be overlooked because the seats were not separated from the rest of the flight, but we were in the first group to board, so there’s that, and now there’s this lunch. Yum, an open-faced pastrami sandwich with a salad of roasted carrot, quinoa, pickled canola seeds, and lovage, a side of rutabaga pickled in apple cider vinegar, and a cream of Sörmlands Ädel cheese from Jürss Mejeri.

Caroline Wise in Copenhagen, Denmark

We land just before 11:30 and are quick to negotiate the ticket automat for the metro from the airport to Kongens Nytorv, where we’ll transfer to another train that will take us to our hotel in Nordhavn. With our bags stored until we check in this evening, we are right back at the Orientkaj metro stop looking for Donkey Republik rental bikes. In a couple of minutes, things are figured out, and we are on our way, in a bit of a hurry, actually.

Caroline Wise at Woolstock Yarn Store in Copenhagen, Denmark

Wow, proper bike lanes segregated from cars with their own lights make for a totally different riding experience that feels incredibly safe. And what could be so important here on our first-ever visit to Copenhagen that we raced there? Our first Danish yarn store experience should be the only plausible answer. I should point out that this won’t be the only yarn store we’ll visit today and that is the real cause of the need for expediency. Prior to leaving the States, I could see that the way between the two shops was best traversed by foot or bike, but with the second shop located closer to the historic center of Copenhagen and closing at 3:00 pm, we’d have to reach Woolstock first and then head into town. Public transport wouldn’t work, so I searched for a bike service and came up with a plan that would have us cycle west from the hotel, south from the first shop, and then, from the next shop, we’d be well positioned for lunch, which could also be considered second lunch seeing we ate on the plane.

Caroline Wise at Woolstock Yarn Store in Copenhagen, Denmark

The truth needs to emerge: our flight and landing time in Copenhagen was strategically calculated to thwart Caroline’s ability to linger too long in each yarn store because if there wasn’t some kind of limiting factor going on, she’d spend the entire day petting the skeins and rubbing them on her cheek in a softness check verging on the sensual side of near-naughtiness. This shop has the “Keep them here all day” formula seriously figured out, with their tables and chairs strategically placed in the windows to subconsciously appeal to these cat lovers and the idea of relaxing in the warming sun. Second, they have a cafe with a fully loaded pastry case and a coffee and tea menu. Third, computers are not welcome, but lingering to knit and enjoy the company of your fellow fiber junkies while indulging in sweets and yarn is seriously encouraged, catered to even. Okay, I was joking about the timing to limit Caroline’s moments of indulgence. These vacations are all about mutual basking in privilege. Finally, the green yarn was my choice, but it turns out that its weight might not work so well for socks, so how about a beanie or scarf, Caroline?

One of the lakes in Copenhagen, Denmark

Riding next to one of the lakes on our way to the next stop, it feels as though Richard Wagner was here with us, conducting the Walkürenritt as Caroline leads the way to Valhalla. As she goes forth, she’s reciting the 10th-century poem titled Eiríksmál, taken from the Prose Edda compiled by 13th-century historian Snorri Sturluson, which was originally written in honor of Erik Bloodaxe:

What sort of yarn is that, Odin?
I dreamed I knitted before dawn
to clear up Val-hall for fiber artists.
I aroused the Einheriar,
bade them get up to wind the skeins,
clean the needles,
the valkyries to serve tea
for the arrival of a knittress.

Caroline Wise at Uldstedet Yarn Store in Copenhagen, Denmark

If this were a pirate-inspired story, Caroline would have pillaged her way to collecting the finest fiber booty, but this being a Viking-influenced narrative means that after riding to the lake, she ditched her bike, sailed across the lake to arrive at Old Town Yarn (Uldstedet) in order to raid it and plunder it of all of its best yarns. With only a small Karve (Viking longship) docked at the shore, she’s acting as a responsible seafarer, and, not overloading her craft, only four skeins were seized.

Husmanns Vinstue in Copenhagen, Denmark

Searching for authentic flavors of Denmark, I came across what is possibly the most famous dish of this country, Smørrebrød, and the restaurant that serves up some of the best in Copenhagen is known as Husmanns Vinstue. They’ve been serving up these open-faced sandwiches called Smørrebrød since 1888, and the basement dining area looks like it hasn’t changed in a century. Oddly, there’s only one other woman here.

Husmanns Vinstue in Copenhagen, Denmark

We are in awe sitting in this place with our only wish possibly being that we were here with others to celebrate the authenticity that is washing over us. Before the dishes arrived, Caroline ordered a Nørrebro Bryghus Ravnsborg Red Beer and a shot of Aalborg Taffel Akvavit (Aquavit) to accompany her three types of herring while I stuck with sparkling water (alcohol-free) paired with my first steak tartare of the trip and not the last. With two egg yolks, onion, caper, curry pickle, and freshly shaved horseradish on a slice of rye bread, I was ecstatic with my perfect choice. Seeing other customers enjoying a fried Camembert Smørrebrød with lingonberry jam as a savory treat after their main meal inspired us to share one.

What an amazing environment! We are definitely at home here and of the right age. Alcohol is flowing fast in this relic from yesteryear, which only adds to the charm and volume of the patrons. There’s no way to capture what this place offers the senses. Smørrebrød will forever be defined by this afternoon as this single experience in a local joint without one other foreigner will have cemented the idea that we’ve had a real Danish moment outside the more typical tourist stops. While we’ve hung out for more than an hour by now, we are not ready to leave, but there’s so much more to see, so off we go.

Protesters in Copenhagen, Denmark

From pickled fish and raw meat indulgences, we fell into the street to catch a demonstration of peaceful vegans protesting meat and fur that was heading to Burger King. With bellies full of sin and having left our rental bikes behind, we walked along for a few minutes, though we abstained from joining the chant lest we appear to be hypocrites.

Copenhagen, Denmark

With all the important stuff out of the way, we could now focus on our touristic obligations with jaws agape, gazing upon history and the elegance to be found in capital cities. The building in the background is part of the University of Copenhagen, while we are about to visit the National Cathedral of Copenhagen on the left.

Vor Frue Kirke in Copenhagen, Denmark

This is the Vor Frue Kirke (Church of our Lady), a.k.a. the National Cathedral. While the site has hosted a few church buildings since about 1187, the longevity of each iteration was marred by fire, war, and the move to Lutheranism.

The Round Tower in Copenhagen, Denmark

The Round Tower observatory was built in 1642 and is part of the Trinitatis Complex, a project initiated by King Christian IV of Denmark (1577 – 1648), who was also the longest-serving monarch of Danish royal history.

Trinitatis Church as seen from inside The Round Tower in Copenhagen, Denmark

This is the Trinitatis Church, which is connected to the Round Tower. Fortunately, I took this photo through a pane of glass from within the tower because by the time we made it back down, it was after 4:30, and the church was closed.

The Round Tower in Copenhagen, Denmark

Back in 1716, Tsar Peter the Great of Russia rode his horse up the tower, and while the article mentioning this specifically says “ascended” there’s no mention if he rode it down. Here we were 307 years later no longer having the option to ride a horse up the 7.5 spirals that lead to the top of the tower. Caroline had to drag me instead.

View from The Round Tower in Copenhagen, Denmark

While Tycho Brahe (1546 – 1601) hailed from Copenhagen (his name will come up a few times while we are here), this tower was never visited by the famous astronomer who died before the invention of the first telescope and the construction of the Rundetårn (Danish for Round Tower).

View from The Round Tower in Copenhagen, Denmark

Seen left of center in the distant background is the Øresund Bridge connecting Denmark to Sweden, which at a length of 8km is the longest bridge in Europe, but that’s not the reason Caroline knows of it. She has been watching a Swedish/Danish crime show called The Bridge.

The Round Tower in Copenhagen, Denmark

While the Round Tower is the oldest functioning observatory in Europe, light pollution has effectively rendered that title meaningless. Though for its historic relevance, it’s still an amazing piece of architecture to visit.

Caroline Wise at The Round Tower in Copenhagen, Denmark

From Wikipedia: The winding corridor has a length of 210 m, climbing 3.74 m per turn. Along the outer wall, the corridor has a length of 257.5 m and a grade of 10%, while along the wall of the inner core, the corridor is only 85.5 m long but has a grade of 33%.

Considering this is the only building of its kind and knowing that most everything visited by tourists would be closed by the time we left the tower, we were in no hurry to depart. Then there was the spectacular weather we’d not expected, so why not linger for a while and enjoy the view?

Copenhagen, Denmark

This statue depicts Bishop Absalon, who is said to have founded Copenhagen back in 1167. I’d like to share here that when noting things such as this is a statue of Absalon, as he’s also simply known, I end up reading quite a bit about the history of people, persons, and places that I identify. I often look for interesting facts to offer here, but history tends to be so complex that writing anything more than a date or tidbit of trivia would do a disservice to the story that should be included in greater depth should I say anything more than what’s written, so I simply have to skip it.

This being a blog, I’ve already exceeded the acceptable idea of how long a post should be in consideration of the attention spans of potential readers, but the reality is that this content is written for Caroline and myself. On the way into these histories, I connect dots such as the fact that Snorri Sturluson was alive at the same time as Absalon. While I’m not sure what good this will do me as I write this, it does fill in a part of the history of different geographic regions that allows me to better understand an age that might otherwise be a void.

Copenhagen, Denmark

While I love city centers I have some ambivalence about focusing on them, especially when they’ve become major tourist attractions. It’s hard to take the pulse of a place if we don’t have some understanding of everyday life for the people who call that place home. Our first day in Copenhagen started in the Nordhavn neighborhood, and the first leg of our bike ride took us over to Ydre Østerbro before riding into the city core. Enjoying the luxury of not having to rush to open sights, we walked not exactly aimlessly, but still, it was a bit of a meander.

Copenhagen, Denmark

Gathering a sense of the layout of a city has always been one of the great aspects of my introduction to a new locale. One downside of this introduction comes with the need to typically be expedient about our exploration instead of having a week or two to linger in observation. Obviously, I could never truly be satisfied with a couple of weeks either because then my curiosity turns to differences experienced at various times of the year. With the majority of tourists gone when January rolls around, who are the people who’ll be found on the waterways in a kayak at daybreak on a Sunday morning, enjoying the quiet solitude of paddling through their city? As winter gives way to spring and the jackets are put away, what’s the vibe in the cafes knowing that longer days are ahead?

Copenhagen, Denmark

As we stroll along, I’m on the lookout for Lars von Trier, as one never knows whom one might run into. While not encountering any celebrities, we were granted a glimmer of a rainbow out on the horizon, but my photo of it wasn’t as glamorous as I would have hoped for, so no rainbows in this post. Out on the waterways, it appeared that nobody cared about stars or rainbows. The nice weather here at the end of summer invited those who could join the flotilla of partiers to bring out their boats and friends for a drink and a bite to eat while casually motoring through the city. What a nice contrast to our life in the desert.

Church of Our Saviour in Copenhagen, Denmark

The spiral tower here belongs to the Church of Our Saviour, and while it’s open late, it is sold out for the day, which will prevent us from visiting it this trip. That’s right, we have our sights set on a return. Not that I didn’t already know this when we arrived in Copenhagen earlier today, but then again, it should be evident that we’re always up for return visits to cities of historic importance.

Copenhagen, Denmark

We just kept on walking until we started lagging, but that was rectified by a coffee and a shared pastry, or would that be more accurately described as a Danish? [Note: Danish people call “Danish pastries” wienerbrød, or “Viennese bread” – Caroline] Revitalized, it was time to return to the polite streets of Copenhagen. I have to say “polite” because, unlike in Germany or the U.S., pedestrians have rights of way I’ve not seen elsewhere. When pedestrians approach an intersection with a crosswalk, we are not expected to slow down or stop. We just keep on walking as the drivers are aware that we are about to step in front of them. This is a difficult habit to pick up quickly enough for the drivers who are not going to pass through the intersection until after we’ve crossed the street.

Nyhavn in Copenhagen, Denmark

Possibly the most photographed spot in all of Denmark aside from the Little Mermaid: this is Nyhavn.

Copenhagen, Denmark

Amalienborg Palace is a massive complex that will remain unvisited by us aside from this walk through the courtyard because time will not allow a proper tour of the interior. This might also be due to some small amount of cynicism that we’ve seen plenty of ornate rooms where royalty has lavished opulence upon themselves in much the same way as other rulers have over the centuries. Intimate spaces lived in by artists and creators where we can gain a glimpse into their creative environments are far more interesting.

Copenhagen, Denmark

That’s King Christian V (1646 – 1699) mounted on his horse on the pedestal at center court.

Frederik's Church in Copenhagen, Denmark

Back in 1749, King Frederick V (1723 – 1766) laid the foundation stone of Frederik’s Church, but after the death of the original architect six years later, the project fell into disrepair, and for over 100 years the building, what there was of it, lay in ruin. Construction commenced in the 1870s, and by 1894, the church was finally opened to the public for the first time. We were minutes too late to gain access to its interior, but will make an early morning attempt to visit the largest church dome in Scandinavia.

Alexander Nevsky Church in Copenhagen, Denmark

Had we been able to visit the Alexander Nevsky Church, it would likely have been the first Russian Orthodox church I’d ever stepped into. In keeping with our adage of leaving something undone that will bring us back, we added this to the list for Copenhagen, too.

Ivar Huitfeldt Column in Copenhagen, Denmark

I’m beginning to think that most of the history worth remembering for Danes surrounds Christian V somehow. Here’s a statue in honor of Ivar Huitfeldt, a naval officer who was killed in action in 1710. His connection to King Christian V is that Ivar sent an application to the king when he was 16 years old, asking permission to join the Navy.

The Little Mermaid in Copenhagen, Denmark

Yes, I know, it feels like a visit to the Little Mermaid is obligatory and gratuitous, but it’s on the way to something else.

The Genetically Modified Little Mermaid in Copenhagen, Denmark

That something else is the Genetically Modified Little Mermaid farther up the harbor.

Nyboder Historic Row Houses in Copenhagen, Denmark

It was after 9:00 p.m. when we started considering our dinner choices, and while anything would have done at this point, kitchens around us were already closed. A pizza shop was packed with a long wait, but as we strolled along Store Kongensgade, we saw that Restaurant Vita was still serving. With beggars not able to be choosers, we took it. And anyway, taking the walk in Nyboder’s historic row house district at dusk had been more important. Begun in 1631 as Navy barracks, they are still standing and are now inhabited by civilians. It was almost 11:00 p.m. when we finally checked into our hotel and collected the bags they’d been holding for us.

[As it turned out, Restaurant Vita was a good choice. Unlike the table of loud and obnoxious Brits nearby, we enjoyed our food very much. After a starter of tartare, we tried the “other” national dish of Denmark: fried pork. I ordered stegt flæsk (slices of crispy fried pork belly), while John opted for flæskesteg (pork roast with a crispy fried crust). Both dishes were generous portions of delicious comfort food. Our server thought that stegt flæsk might be a bit too salty for novices, but we didn’t mind at all. It was reminiscent of chicharron, except it was served with boiled potatoes and parsley sauce. Since stegt flæsk comes in slices, it is often served “ad libitum,” which translates to “all you can eat.” We really lucked out stumbling over this restaurant serving very traditional Danish food. – Caroline]

As the title of this post suggests, there is a kind of culture shock that we are experiencing here in Copenhagen due to the politeness factor. From the front desk attendant at our hotel who earlier in the day was explaining the necessity for trust in Danish culture to someone else along the way who told us that if something weren’t safe, it would imply a greater societal problem, so obviously trust, a sense of decorum, and the sharing of those expectations with each other is part of the common dialogue here in Denmark. Compare this to where I was a week before in Arizona, where a gun on the hip tells others exactly how much trust is had for their fellow citizens.

Deutsche Familie

Frankfurt Hauptbahnhof Germany

Against a backdrop of thunder, our day began with a short walk over to Café Dillenburg, formerly Brot & Freunde, to fetch our daily bread. After breakfast, with no time to dawdle, we were just as quick about catching the subway to Hauptwache and then another to the Hauptbahnhof, where we boarded yet another train to Geisenheim. Along the way, we passed Königin Viktoriaberg (Queen Victoria) Vineyard in Hochheim, named after a mid-19th century visit of the queen, but we are not out for sightseeing today; that begins tomorrow. Today, we are spending more time with family.

At our train stop in Mainz-Kastel, our train was joined by a couple of young Ukrainians carrying a wine bottle and apparently already drunk here at 9:30 in the morning. Their boisterous voices weren’t going to be tempered, regardless of the amount of stinkeye the people sitting around them were sending their way. No matter the difficulty in being away from home due to your country being at war, you are ambassadors of Ukraine, leaving impressions on the people helping fund your efforts and offering you refuge.

John Wise and Hanns Engelhardt in Geisenheim, Germany

Pulling into the station at Geisenheim, we’d chosen precisely the right car to sit in and the right doors to exit because right there before us was Father Hanns, happy to greet us. Caroline’s father is working on closing out his 90th year so he can lay claim to having reached that rarified age that is the decade before one might see 100 years of life. While Hanns offers up a few anecdotal issues about having reached this point in his life, it is not easy to see age overtaking him yet. Sure, he struggles with his eyes, and a cane is part of his outfit. Still, his mind remains deeply curious, though momentarily troubled by his ongoing struggle to part with books that have been constant companions for the majority of his life.

Vevie Engelhardt in Germany

Father Hanns is giving up many of his books because he is moving to Geisenheim full-time after maintaining a small apartment/bungalow in Karlsruhe for decades and commuting between the two locations. Vevie (or Maria, as Hanns affectionately calls her) has been living on her own in Geisenheim for much of that time, but it has become apparent that she needs more care. Remembering how difficult it was to shed a majority of our books when we moved from Germany to the United States in the 1990s, I can hardly imagine how hard it must be for him to have to part with so many beloved books, many of which are family heirlooms.

Caroline Wise, Hanns Engelhardt, and Vevie Engelhardt in Geisenheim, Germany

Over a bottle of sparkling wine, the four of us sat on the terrace to talk while the skies were clearing. For the better part of 90 minutes, I tried pushing the conversation back to German as Vevie’s frustration at not understanding the English we were speaking was bedeviling her. This wasn’t quite so dramatic on previous visits. For Father Hanns, exercising his wit and humor in English allows his inner rascal to make an appearance as he so enjoys jokes and wordplay and, these days, probably does not often have the opportunity for banter.

I’d imagine that for an intellectual with German as their mother tongue, proficiency and control of linguistic complexity in German are taken for granted. In English or Hungarian, Hanns has the opportunity to spin tales with a flare that exemplifies his love of a broad body of knowledge that likely surprises and delights those he enters conversations with.

By noon, it’s lunchtime for Caroline, Hanns, and me, as Vevie prefers to stay in. Leaving the apartment, I spot the collected works of Arthur Schopenhauer, which is one of the authors Hanns cannot part with. At the nearby restaurant with an odd mix of German and Indian food along with a fairly extensive pizza menu, Hanns is able to open the throttle in English. The conversation turns to the social side of politics and after a blindingly fast 2.5 hour spent at our midday meal, it’s nearly time for Caroline and I to catch our train back to Frankfurt. In a parting thought, I offer to return to Germany later this year or early next to spend a couple of weeks talking philosophy, religion, and social responsibility with my father-in-law.

Jutta Engelhardt and Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

Back in Frankfurt, we visit Jutta once more before taking off to other lands tomorrow. While Caroline and her mom were chatting, I sat out on the balcony catching up on my note-taking when one of the orderlies named Rouven Dorn, whom I’d met a couple of years earlier, came out for a smoke, and we got to talking. Turns out that he, too, is a fan of Schopenhauer, and upon hearing we are heading to Denmark, Sweden, and Norway, he shared that his favorite Swedish metal band is called Sabaton and that I should take a listen to No Bullets Fly and Lifetime of War. There was more to the conversation, as there always is, but those details are lost in the ether as nothing more was shared with my notebook.

Demonstration in Frankfurt, Germany

Another day, another demonstration.

Demonstration in Frankfurt, Germany

I believe this is an anti-Taliban and consequently an anti-Pakistan demonstration as from my reading of their call to free Ali Wazir, they are voicing their displeasure with Pakistan’s support of the Taliban and that Ali Wazir was arrested in retaliation for his anti-Taliban stance. But I didn’t stop and talk with these young men since my German is not good enough to have a discussion about politics and how they relate to Afghanistan and its neighbor to the south. I do, though, respect that this kind of public conversation and display of concern is alive and well in Germany, even if it pales in comparison to the determination of the French to raise their voice.

Döner kebab in Frankfurt, Germany

There will be no burning of the proverbial midnight oil, no sit-down dinner, and no wandering in nostalgia as we have an early flight in the morning and need to be packed and ready to go this evening. With that in mind, dinner for the second night in a row will be Döner and while the place is called Döneria, it’s different enough to not be as amazing as the one in Bornheim. Funny that I can try being picky while I’m here when it’s been two years since my last Döner, but with the limited number I can possibly eat while in Germany, I need to make the best of these opportunities.

Frankfurt, Germany

There’s a strange side to what I find so familiar. I know that within some number of years, I will never gaze upon any of the sights that were so common to my senses at the times I was present. I will have passed away. Those who are but teenagers on that day I die will be traveling in their own routines past the familiar and won’t have considered yet how anything changed over the course of years others were familiarizing themselves with corners of a city. Nor will they be entertaining ideas that their time to be witness of the places they may be taking for granted will pass out of their view as yet another person picks up another new relationship of seeing a place as part of their unique life. This though is the nature of life; we all pass in and out of the places we’d love to fondly remember forever.

Allein, Nicht Allein

Frankfurt, Germany

In color or ohne Farbe, the world at the edge of my recollections is simultaneously vibrant, cold, devoid of sympathy, and ready to penetrate dreams. Places out of the past flirt with the wake of interpretation as I skirt time out of sync with the moment, leading me to wander the thoughts and impressions of an age ago. Somewhere in my distant history, I traveled the cascade of depravity I yearned to embrace when the only salve for pain was witnessing decay greater than the suffering of uncertainty. A heart in putrefaction is ripe to take wrong turns as my existence was spinning around a drain too backed up to accept the shit trying to find an escape. To be enchanted with filth as a reflection of where one’s soul slunk off to seemed to be an appropriate cloak of how to be perceived, should one desire to be held in disdain.

Frankfurt, Germany

Finding the transgressive self that is never far away (and yet it is) as distance washes the unclean from our being when we fail to remain ensconced below the surface is to re-encounter an iteration of that version of yourself that might better remain buried with progress. The borders in youth were fluid in generally unhealthy ways, with survival never seeming certain. Existential nihilism fit tightly as though it were a second skin while all that embellished the darkness was clung to, should it try to escape the clutching hand.

Frankfurt, Germany

Cast off what has no utility, burn it, break it, throw it into the void. These scooters likely elicit more curiosity about why they are strewn about than the human detritus that is and has been part of the Bahnhofsviertel for decades. Those wretched former human beings that straggle along the passages and dirty streets of our cities are relegated to be the denizens of the void, barely existing in an abyss of disdain. The first lesson in the Lack-of-Empathy Club is to call it compassion in order to mask the hatred of such eyesores daring to pollute our vision and sense of aesthetic sensibilities.

Frankfurt, Germany

Allein (alone), nicht allein (not alone) should never be the transitional state of emergence as it damages the metamorphosis of the inevitable leaving of innocence.

With Caroline visiting her godmother Helga, I’m alone and then again, not alone, as no matter the distance, Caroline is never far. Normally, I’d be sharing details at some point in a post regarding what my other half has been up to, but Helga has never been a fan of photos. In any case, so as not to create undue stress, the visit with Caroline’s godmother is happening away from the lens. Should there be a story about their shared time, that will be coming from my wife and inserted into this post where she sees fit.

Frankfurt, Germany

From the fentanyl addicted to African nuns, the poor to those of means, old to young, people from all walks of life move through the main train station. Other than beggars and station employees, a certain amount of hurry is in most people’s step. I’m certain that it’s only the pigeons that are the constant here, while everything else has changed since I first visited this station 38 years ago. They and the building never appear different. Just as it was on my first visit, the homeless see something in me that inspires them to ask me for help. I’ve watched who they target: they have methods best known to themselves that inevitably include me. But it’s no longer 1985, and the luxury of lingering for hours on end for serious people-watching is no longer afforded me. I have a date I must honor.

Frankfurt, Germany

If you knew the main station area, a.k.a. the Bahnhofsviertel, you might think my date was with a prostitute. Like I said, it’s no longer 1985. I’m also not looking for a train to travel to any particular destination as I’m already within proximity of where I need to be. I’m here to revisit that distant part of me that, while awkward or alien to what others might consider normal, was a defining age of understanding what love was and wasn’t.

Frankfurt, Germany

Foundations responsible for bearing the weight of everything above them can, over time, appear scuffed, but they are the only reason anything has the opportunity to remain standing well into the future. We do not undermine these less-than-sexy structures; instead, we build bulwarks upon them to offer resilience to the work they must perform. This is also a metaphor for us humans who, far too often, are fragile entities built of paper mache on balsa wood. Resilience among people may arise out of difficulty and struggle but a more humane architecture is one premised on love but how many of us have acquired that as our foundation?

Frankfurt, Germany

Baseler Platz, south of the Hauptbahnhof. I’m heading towards the Main River, but looking north offers you nothing other than coordinates of abstractions that cannot be experientially understood. Most of what education brings seems to me to be similar in its abstraction in that without putting yourself in the middle of a thing; there is nothing tangibly processed or owned. Maybe a good example would be that of learning a language that you memorize for reading, but you’ve never uttered a single word of it, so there is no real fluency. We must find familiarity by immersing ourselves and yet we are asking young minds to shutter imagination by replacing it with rote memorization.

Olaf Finkbeiner and John Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

My lunch date is with Olaf Finkbeiner, whom I’ve known for about 35 years now.

Frankfurt, Germany

Across the street from his flat is a little Persian place where we’ll eat and talk for a couple of hours before he is pulled away by a work-related phone call he must tend to. Prior to that call, we’ll discuss social issues, the global economy, education, technology, and politics, along with change and the lack of it. Between sirens and speeding emergency vehicles, we’ll also touch on creative endeavors and Olaf’s building of a small stage area in his basement, where he’ll be moving some musical equipment with the hopes of it becoming a studio space for making music and videos.

Frankfurt, Germany

Contrary to my thinking I was going to return to my wander, Olaf invited me to take a pause in the rear garden and that we could continue the exchange once he was free again. My first inclination after pulling up to a picnic table was to get in some reading, but after laying down on the bench to look up into the tree towering over me, I started to consider how a tree might see itself.

Leaves attach to twigs and branches via the petiole. The leaves are in a kind of universe to themselves as the trunk and roots are some distant concept that would be unfathomable though the relationship between the parts cannot exist without the symbiotic whole. To the branches, is the trunk a type of God, and the leaves their children? Root hairs only exist by the grace of lateral roots, while the tap root is the kingmaker in this subterranean world. The minerals and water taken up by the roots are like prayers that allow the molecules to ascend the trunk to what must surely be heaven.

Does the leaf surface find its life force from the sun, the CO2, or the water that mysteriously arrives from a deep, hidden place? What about the glucose produced by the leaves that travel out of them and is stored as starch by the tree? Where is the creation story found in this relationship?

To the many creatures and processes on earth that require oxygen, if they knew that their existence was only possible due to the byproduct of photosynthesis, would they pray to plants and cyanobacteria? The symbiosis of these threads could go on and on, and they do, except in the simple minds of people who believe that they are somehow removed from this important relationship; they are above the life that is all around and within them.

Without the plants, we all die, not by a 2nd coming but by negligence exponentiated by our own stupidity or by our ability to blame our shortsightedness upon our deities.

Without us accepting our roles of acting like trees to connect the earth to the sky and utilizing what’s between, it will be us humans who will prove we were undeserving of such a perfect place. Isn’t that then our flaunting of vulgar stupidity and hatred for the very place essential for our survival as we pretend to be smarter than trees?

Demonstration for Ukraine in Frankfurt, Germany

After leaving Olaf and my thoughts of God found in botany, my path took me upriver to Römer for a quick visit with Jutta before taking a walk to Hauptwache for my dinner date. As I sat on a nearby wall, wondering if my wife would find me in the crowd as I’d not told her exactly where I was, I realized that something out of the ordinary was going on, and I hadn’t realized it because it was part of what is simply normal in Frankfurt. A demonstration in support of Ukraine was taking place. There are over 1,000,000 Ukrainian refugees here in Germany, or ten times the number the United States has accepted. What was happening was not so much a demonstration but community outreach for the Ukrainians to show appreciation for being welcomed by a tiny country about the same size as the state of Montana. It’s strange to consider that the war is only about 1,000 miles away from Frankfurt, which is about the same distance as Phoenix, Arizona, to Portland, Oregon.

Frankfurt, Germany

My date found me and suggested Döner for dinner: a woman after my own heart. Having just visited Nazar Döner & Grill yesterday and finding it acceptable for this kind of encounter, we strolled along Zeil just as we have countless other times, as this is obviously not our first date. Speaking of dating, it took me a moment to learn that this film poster for the movie Doggy Style and its byline “This Summer Comes from Behind” and whatever that implies is an animated film known as Strays in the U.S. The provocative poster with a dog about to mount a deer while another dog has mounted a gnome suggests themes that appeal to my prurient interests, though I’d never have thoughts about doggy style with Caroline and of course, I mean seeing the movie. A date in Frankfurt with Caroline wouldn’t have been complete without a visit to Eis Christina for their legendary Spaghetti Eis, which is as popular as ever.

Stumbling Stones in Frankfurt, Germany

What an awkward transition from innuendo about sex from behind to Jews that took flight to escape Nazi Germany back in 1939, but this is the absurdity of our world. My post has moved through inferences about my time with prostitutes, homeless people, and nihilism to friends, family, war, entertainment, atrocities, nature, love, God, education, and even a nod to a pop song in my title because a life well lived will likely have been a stroll through the surreal and should never be experienced alone.

[So, how was my day? I didn’t want to interrupt John’s flow, so here is a quick summary: Helga picked me up from my sister’s house. Since she had a stroke and major surgery last year, I was a bit surprised that she’s still driving. However, since Helga lives in Kronberg, the ability to drive is extremely important for her need to connect with cultural amenities here in town. I had asked her to suggest a museum or exhibit for our outing, and so we headed to a parking garage near Schauspielhaus, which allowed us to walk over to the Mainufer (Main riverbank), where most of Frankfurt’s museums are located. En route, we passed the (new to me) Jewish museum that definitely warrants a thorough visit in the future, but today’s destination was Liebieghaus, a former villa that now is a sculpture museum and gallery. We crossed the river on the Holbeinsteg bridge, a relatively new pedestrian and bike/scooter river crossing. At this point, it was time for lunch which we enjoyed in the restaurant of the Staedel Museum. Afterward, we walked over to Liebieghaus next door and its current exhibit, “Machine Room of the Gods,” which links sculptures and art with science, shining modern light on ancient artifacts. Since the day was hot and humid, we sat down for coffee and water in the museum’s cool garden cafe. I really enjoy these outings with Helga; she is so culturally minded. Her perspectives are always interesting, and I love our conversations; she challenges and inspires me.  – Caroline]

Déjà Vu in Frankfurt, Germany

Nidda River in Heddernheim, Germany

Life happening between places is one of the first things that struck me here in the early hours of being back in Germany. How easy it is from afar to forget about the relative intimacy that exists in a society otherwise considered cold and distant. The reminder was inspired by a young romantic couple we passed on the street last night on our walk back from dinner. In those two, I could see Caroline and me nearly 35 years ago. All these years later, as it was back then, it’s not uncommon to see romance unfolding in public, whereas in the U.S., dating often happens in cars and behind closed doors at a distance and out of view. For those who don’t know, there’s a generalization that Germans can appear aloof because they are not busy greeting each other with empty good-morning greetings and less than honest questions asking how one’s day is going as we practice in America. Germans simply do away with the vacuous exchange, opting instead to focus on themselves and those who are important to them.

Litfaßsäule in Heddernheim, Germany

Under these beautiful blue skies, our walk over the Nidda River took Caroline and me through the same neighborhood that delivers us to Speisekammer, but this morning, we are looking for an ATM because there are places in Germany where cash is the only way to deal with getting what we want. As for this photo, I’ve never passed a Litfaßsäule (advertising column) that I didn’t love, and this one is as good as any other to share. The utility of these columns cannot be understated because, even in local neighborhoods, they are a quick and easy way to be updated on what cultural events are taking place. Compare this to Arizona, where I have to watch TV, read the local newspaper, or visit specific websites to learn what’s happening around town.

Frankfurt, Germany

My familiarity with this curve in the road is forever engrained as to the left from here on Maybachstraße, where the old nightclub known as Batschkapp used to be. After watching the Pixies perform there, I ran into Caroline Engelhardt for the dozenth time, and we started a longer talk that resulted in her missing her train, me giving her a ride home, and the rest is history, as they say.

Cafe in Frankfurt, Germany

Living in America, it’s a habit to look for a thing that is nearby, and that’s what we did regarding the ATM instead of looking for one near the place we’d be stopping at for breakfast. It turns out that there was another branch of the same bank two doors down from Rockenbäcker at Weißer Stein where we were going. Who ever heard of being able to walk between ATMs outside half a dozen American cities such as New York, San Francisco, or Seattle?

As for breakfast, we had four different types of rolls that included a slight miscommunication as Caroline only wanted one of the small rye rolls (brötchen), but we got three, two butters, two packets of jam, and two coffees for about $9.50. Because we can’t easily buy brötchen in the States, I’ll substitute the bread choice with a few croissants and two drip coffees, which, without tip, will cost no less than $20. One has to wonder why our prices are so inflated, and please don’t blame it on politics, as Joe Biden doesn’t personally dictate what small businesses charge for baked goods. Caroline noted that seemingly none of the places we visit in Germany are playing music; this will be something we’ll need to pay attention to if we are to verify that as fact. So, how was everything? In a German word, Luxus.

Hauptwache in Frankfurt, Germany

The subway, aside from familiarity and convenience, is an elixir for the senses where we are delivered with little friction to destinations, allowing experiences to form and take shape. We meet others, are brought to events, shopping, sightseeing, or visit friends and family at the other end. A riot of scents is also readily available, from the funky to the obscene and the beautiful and curious. The parade of perfumes can entice our noses or, when laid on too heavily, repulse them. Once a tram enters the underground world, we encounter the damp earth smells mixed with sweat, fruit stands, bakeries, cigarettes, alcohol, trash, and everything else that creates the particular odors that define subways.

Hauptwache in Frankfurt, Germany

From out of Hauptwache we have to head south towards the Main River over Römerberg, the seat of Frankfurt’s city government. We are on our way to one of the most important reasons we came to Germany: visiting my mother-in-law, Caroline’s mom, a.k.a. Jutta.

Caroline Wise with drawing she made as little girl in Frankfurt, Germany

Maybe 47 or even 48 years ago, Caroline painted this horse that her mom has treasured for all of the intervening years, and while she’d like assistance in hanging it on her wall, we happened to forget our picture-hanging tools and equipment back home in Phoenix.

Katharina Engelhardt, Jutta Engelhardt and Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

After a short while, our niece Katharina shows up and it’s time for the ladies to head out for lunch. My absence is intentional as the conversation becomes fragmented, with everyone making concessions for my poor Deutsche Sprache by speaking English. So, with a photo to note the moment, they’ll go their way, and I mine. While they situate themselves down the river at the Wewe Cafe, I have other plans.

Döner kebab in Frankfurt, Germany

My primary goal, if the jetlag allows it, is to get some writing in, but first, I’m aiming for the tram to Bornheim Mitte to visit Döneria, my present favorite Turkish sandwich. However, with Frankfurt under a construction explosion, the line to get me to the area requires Schienenersatzverkehr (rail replacement travel), which feels too convoluted to my groggy mind, so I’ll fend for something near Zeil. Nazar Döner & Grill has some good reviews, so that’s where I went. The Döner is not as good, but considering this is my first in two years, it’s damn good enough. On the plus side, there’s a nice breeze through the open storefront, helping relieve the heat and humidity I’m suffering from.

Hare Krishna members in Frankfurt, Germany

My brain is wrestling with me as my will and need to adapt to the change in time zones asks that I remain in the moment while typically, at this time over on our side of the earth, it’s 3:00 in the morning, and I’m sound asleep. I’m out of sync with my normal routine. I think I need to relinquish control of the desire to write and accept that I’ll spend the next hours wandering around and taking in the sights, such as this band of Hare Krishna parading by. For a moment, I’m back in Los Angeles circa 1972, and I’m either dreaming or hallucinating in my exhaustion. They’ll set up further south of where I’m planted, and from the distance, their clanging bells will continue to resonate up the street.

Frankfurt, Germany

On and off over the past nearly 40 years, I’ve walked between Hauptwache and Römer countless times, and yet I’ve never stopped here next to St. Paul’s Church on Paulplatz to check out the Einheitsdenkmal (Monument to German Unity) that’s sat here since 1907. And yet, the xylophone player I listened to playing the Titanic Theme Song for the maybe dozenth time has already become a Frankfurt fixture in my memory

Frankfurt, Germany

I’ve finally taken the time to learn about this graffiti motif we always enjoy seeing when in Frankfurt, they are City Ghosts and were created by Frankfurt artist Philipp A. Schäfer.

Frankfurt, Germany

During the time I was reintroducing myself to the streets of the city, I easily passed a thousand people, and not once did I encounter a single person wearing yoga pants, though that would change on subsequent days. The point is, they are not that ubiquitous, by a long shot, compared to how common they are in the U.S. During the same time, I saw four sight-impaired people using white canes to negotiate their way ahead and failed to spot a single article of clothing demonstrating allegiance to a university or school sports team. One Tupac and a Cannibal Corpse t-shirt were the only band loyalty displays, while dozens of women wearing headscarves were noted.

I’d like to consider that American cultural influence is waning, but a couple of hours of observation in a single city do not indicate empirical proof, just bias confirmation.

Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

Following my fog-of-jetlag observations while wandering, I met up again with Caroline and Katharina to find a coffee, and we ended up at Streuselbar on Fressgasse. If you like cookie dough, this crumbly stuff found on various German baked goods and cobblers in America will be something right up your alley; at least they had coffee. As far as our conversation with our niece, we spoke of those awkward kinds of young adult things that need not be shared on blogs. After our early practice of “Fika,” about which you will learn more in a few days, we were back at Lebenshaus visiting with Jutta to say goodnight before she joined the others for dinner.

Shopping center on Zeil in Frankfurt, Germany

This post’s title references Déjà Vu as so much of this day is nearly a carbon copy of other first days in Frankfurt, though this one included nearly 90 degrees of heat combined with 50% humidity, allowing our clothes to have 90% more body-sticking power.

Frankfurt Skyline, Germany

While I wish for insights and some deeper thinking, the nature of long-distance traveling around the globe means there’s a chance one falls into the intellectual doldrums, and that’s exactly where I landed.

Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

I’ve been looking into these eyes and at this face nearly every day during the intervening 12485 days since I fell in love with Caroline in the summer of 1989, and even today, when I see her, I still smile at this woman, even when it’s a photograph.

Sachsenhausen, Germany

Dinner was at Apfelweinwirtschaft Fichtekränzi, a.k.a. Apple Wine Restaurant Spruce Wreath somehow, the English translation doesn’t sound as cool as Fichtekränzi as it’s known here locally. Open since 1849; the place is named after the wreath of braided spruce branches that traditionally signaled visitors that a restaurant featured apple wine, a favorite in the area. The outdoor patio, its location in Sachsenhausen, the traditional German food, and especially the grüne Soße all work to lend this little place the kind of attractive nature that has drawn us back again and again over the years.

Vending machine in Sachsenhausen, Germany

A funny thing happened on the way to the tram stop: we encountered a magic vending machine where sausages were the primary product. While pork and beef steaks, along with eggs, are also available for those middle-of-the-night cravings, it is the nearly two dozen types of bratwurst that reign supreme. This luxury of German carnivory delights is courtesy of The Worscht Designer. Worscht is Frankfurt dialect for Wurst (sausage).

Above The Earth and Outside of Routines

Somewhere near England or Ireland

Soaring gracefully far above the earth, we are outside the concerns that dictate routines. There is no real opportunity to influence our environment or situation in any meaningful way anyway: the machine transporting us into another culture does not care if we are aboard or not. At nearly 900 km/h, we speed through thin frozen air, looking down at clouds and out at a horizon to a point 345 km or 214 miles away, considerably further than when we are earthbound and on a clear day on the right side of the plane, we could see all the way across Iceland.

Between Calais and Dunkirk, France

In the air, we are free of the ground, though gravity still holds sway just as we are held close by our anchoring habits. Many remain tethered to routines, afraid to venture outside the familiar, and what might they do while captive in our craft anyway? Well, anything, if we were so inclined and if the intellectual convention of imagination were alive and well. Alas, the majority of those we traveled with this evening were apparently afraid to travel too far as they remain connected to the terrestrial media of repetition and doing what they do at home. Who thought television screens in seatbacks were a good idea?

Flying over Frankfurt, Germany

True, there will be no playing the piano up here nor a game of badminton, and if we were to join in conversation, we’d quickly be forced to confront the limitations our blinders shield us from by denying us anything more than a few benign subjects revolving around the mundane to discuss anyway. But there is a world outside the window and a universe beyond the smattering of knowledge we think we possess. I’d like to believe that the people surrounding me are on a great adventure beyond their expectations, though experience has shown me that I’m delusional for maintaining hope that cognizance is a domain that the majority of humanity desires to flirt with. Why make efforts to learn when we already know how to swipe?

Frankfurt Airport, Germany

Once we’ve landed, we’ll swap one routine for a mirror version that happens only rarely at a distance of about 10,000km from home while in the German city of Frankfurt.

Katharina Engelhardt and Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

It is in Frankfurt where we meet with family not seen but about every two years with familiarity and a sense of nostalgia pulling us into places and variations of conversations visited previously. Our brother-in-law Klaus picked us up at the airport, and our niece Katharina came along as a surprise.

Heddernheim, Germany

Staying in Heddernheim with the in-laws, check.

Heddernheim, Germany

Walking to dinner, check. If you are wondering if the clock on the St. Peter and Paul church is reading correctly on our way to dinner just before 9:00 p.m., that would be about right. Nothing like exhaustion to help us sleep through the night when our body clock is telling us it’s midday in Phoenix, Arizona.

Speisekammer Restaurant in Heddernheim, Germany

First meal in Germany at Speisekammer for traditional Frankfurt fare, check.

Klaus Engelhardt and Stephanie Engelhardt in Heddernheim, Germany

While I felt this was all about the same experience as previous visits, I checked my old posts about going to this restaurant and learned that our first visit was back in 2018, with my mother-in-law Jutta and niece Katharina joining us. Tonight, it was a foursome with Klaus, Stephanie, Caroline, and me. At other times of the year, white asparagus was on the menu; tonight, the seasonal specials feature fresh chanterelle mushrooms. While I extoll the virtues of mixing things up, I stick like glue to “Handkäse mit Musik” and “Frankfurter Schnitzel mit grüner Soße.”

Zeilweg tram stop in Heddernheim, Germany

After dinner and dessert, we walked home together. The tram here was not part of our travels; it’s just a reminder of how much I enjoy having access to functional and safe public transportation, along with my familiarity with the stop here at Zeilweg that we frequent a lot while staying in Heddernheim. Tomorrow, we’ll have our first encounter with the smell of the subway; I do not mean this sarcastically, as I truly do love the familiar scent that accompanies the underground rail system.

It’s hot up on the top floor of House Engelhardt as Europe has been going through a heat wave, and with no air conditioning, we rely on a fan and roof windows cracked open for a breeze that will hopefully cool the attic fast enough to allow us to sleep through the night and begin tackling jetlag.

First Ever Digital Group Selfie

Uwe Schmidt, John Wise, Caroline Wise, and Olaf Finkbeiner in Frankfurt, Germany around 1990

Back in December of 2005, the first year I was blogging, I posted a scan of a black and white printout of this photo. I told the story of how the digital file was long gone, lost to the age of the Commodore Amiga and the passage of time. The image was captured in 1990 using a method that the digitizer wasn’t really intended for, by focusing on living things that might move during the capture process. Because there was no way possible to manually turn the color wheel to red, green, and blue (which allowed the digitizer to capture each color channel separately) between capturing shots while we remained frozen in time, we picked one of the filter colors and ended up with a black-and-white image. We printed it with a dot matrix printer and somehow that piece of paper stayed with Caroline and me during our move from Germany and then survived 1o more years in the United States. Now here we are, 30 years after we took our very first digital selfie and today Olaf Finkbeiner (the guy on the right) sent me a copy in color. While Caroline never had purple hair, I think this is simply amazing. On the left is Uwe Schmidt (Atom™), then I in the background, Caroline, and of course Olaf. The skull is named Anton and he still resides with my mother-in-law Jutta who has agreed to take him to her grave when she passes. I cannot forget to give credit to Jo Lincke for putting in the work using Photoshop’s Neural filter to help restore such a beautiful memory. And while I cannot be certain, I can at least confidently claim that this is probably the very first digital group selfie ever taken!