Day 2 – Frankfurt

Frankfurt, Germany

Four hours of sleep wasn’t going to be enough, but waking at 2:30 in the morning was when the cock crowed in my head. By 5:30, I started feeling I’d finally be able to snag a couple more hours of shut-eye, but sleeping in until after 10:00 was not my plan. I was now running late and needed to call Jutta to let her know I wasn’t going to be showing up between 9:00 and five minutes ago. She told me not to worry and enjoy a nice breakfast along the way.

I was momentarily distracted by those things that were precisely the reason for my being in Germany, the effects left behind by Jutta as she went into assisted living. Strange how when she lived here, I never really gave a second thought to what she’d amassed over her lifetime, but looking over her artifacts now, I start to see part of her story arch based on literature she’s read, though I have no way of giving it a proper timeline. Already late; I have to save this for later and get going.

I’ll travel this path a few times during my stay, walk down Saalburgstrasse to Bergerstrasse, and get on the U-Bahn to areas further on. The bakery on the corner winked at me, telling me it had quick calories to jump-start my energy supply. Nothing like an Erdbeerplunder (strawberry Danish) to do just that. As I left the shop and noticed that the Wednesday open-air market was taking place, I had to at least check out some small corner of it. Good thing I did so as I was able to alleviate some of my guilt of indulging in those empty diabetic-unfriendly sugars by balancing it with a grilled Thuringer sausage.

Frankfurt, Germany

Standing there on Bergerstrasse, I got to thinking about how many people were just launching into German conversations with me. Thirty years ago, during the Cold War and with so many Americans in occupied West Germany, I felt that the population had developed a natural sense of who the Americans were, even when bearded with long hair as I had been during much of my time here. Today, that insight has faded and German is once again the only official language of this country.

People are patiently waiting outside shops where signs instruct shoppers that only one customer at a time is allowed in. While in line, they wear their masks. On the street, it’s a mixed bag of some people wearing masks and others not. I cannot find a pattern, as only those who’ve been vaccinated are allowed certain privileges, and  I’m not sure they eschew masks. The reason I’m struggling is that only those over a certain age have been able to get the vaccine, and mask-wearing does not align with people’s ages.

There are a lot of elderly people in this neighborhood which reminds me of the likelihood that someday I’ll need to stop driving a car and that living in Europe would be a possible good solution to that. But then you see these seniors shuffling by slowly with walkers and canes; how they also balance the bags of food, they are out collecting looks challenging. Something else seen but not certain is that they are alone, and my knowledge of Germany suggests they may very well be all living alone. Doubt looks to creep into my thoughts of being anywhere that will be easier on an old person. I’m considering this as I see the old person creeping out of me.

Frankfurt, Germany

Nobody is making eye contact with me; there are no silent nods acknowledging each other’s existence as in America. The beggars are out, and so are the permanently drunk who, strangely enough, still wear masks over their loud and aggressive conversations with the person walking next to them or simply talking to the universe in their lament about all that’s worthy to broadcast to everyone in earshot.

Not having to translate much of what I hear, I’m just an observer traveling with my own cultural baggage, able to concentrate on the details likely unseen by those living here. We grow a thick skin to filter out the intrusions and construct the life we want to have in an anonymous society while the visitor is often overwhelmed by all that is new to their senses, but this is not new to me. On the contrary, my moments here are quite familiar, though often far from my memories, as they don’t really need revisiting while living in Arizona.

As though I weren’t already late, I’ve been sitting in the U-Bahn station, maybe 15 meters underground writing the above as train after trains come and go. I note this just before hitting save to board the next train so I can finally drop in on Jutta. It’s noon, and the little things keep arriving in my mind.

Maybe it’s because I’m so late getting underway, but I’m not seeing many young people on the train, or maybe they are homeschooling? What I am picking up on is the idea that more people are looking directly at each other. Maybe their masks have them feeling like they are hidden behind a barrier that doesn’t allow others to notice their eyes observing them, but I’m noticing. An older lady with the squintiest of eyes and I are looking directly at each other while I hold her gaze somewhat astonished that a German is making eye contact. Funny how, on one of my last visits to Germany, I noticed how smartphones were used to lock riders’ views to staring at their device, thus easily avoiding finding somewhere else to look while on public transportation. What is it about the noonday crowd that is hardly using phones at all?

Frankfurt, Germany

In minutes, I’m getting off at Dom/Römer, where it’s now raining. Over at city hall, family and friends of about 15 people are in a celebratory mood as a couple was just married. Signed in at Lebenshaus and given an FFP2 mask this time, I was let into Jutta’s room while she finished lunch. She and I were supposed to go out for coffee today, but with the cold, wet weather, I’m opting to stay in for my two-hour visit. Right now, her room is sparse, though she’s supposed to get a piece of furniture delivered this Friday, where some of her belongings will continue to live with her.

Jutta Engelhardt in Frankfurt, Germany

The reason an attendant let me into Jutta’s room while she was at lunch was that I’m not allowed to sit with the other tenants, probably due to pandemic precautions or maybe also trying to get the others to socialize a few times a day, seeing they are all neighbors.

Jutta Engelhardt in Frankfurt, Germany

Only about a half-hour after I arrived, a message from Caroline chimed on my phone: what’s she doing up at 4:00 in the morning? She set an alarm so she could go out and see a lunar eclipse. This allowed the three of us to have another video chat and for me to see her beautiful face smiling at me. And while I finally had slept well, I’m yawning now, so Jutta and I are going to head around the corner to a nearby ice cream cafe for a coffee…and maybe a treat.

Jutta Engelhardt in Frankfurt, Germany

Nope, that didn’t happen. While there was a break in the poor weather that allowed the thought of going out, from the brief time we decided to go out until we got downstairs, the rain came on a bit heavy again. We dipped back inside, but it wasn’t relenting, so we were postponing until a sunny day came along. After a couple of hours of visiting, I was once again out in the city.

Frankfurt, Germany

Now in the rain by myself, I needed to find a bite to eat and a coffee. That was easy enough, but as is the case everywhere here, there’s nowhere to sit down, so you pop around the corner, pull your mask down, and eat once you decide just what you want.

Not yet satisfied, I remembered the sausages I’d seen at Kleinmarkthalle yesterday and grabbed one of them; it was a dried pork and paprika shriveled sausage of a thing. With the rain continuing, I lingered here at the market, paying a little more attention to each vendor than I did yesterday. It wasn’t far from there to Konstablerwache, where I knew I could find a seat underground so I could jot these things down and stay dry and warm. How strange this situation of being in Europe without a cafe, wifi, or restaurant to sit down and take a break.

Frankfurt, Germany

I emphasize being warm as I insisted when leaving Phoenix that it would be warm enough soon enough in the Frankfurt region. I knew that I could deal with a few days of rain and cold, so I could leave my bulky fleece at home. Now comes the mea culpa that Caroline was right; I should have brought it. Also, I brought a rain jacket, but I’m waiting until I really need it. It seems like I’ve really needed it both of these days, so I’m at a loss why it’s not with me. Damn, I hope my wife wasn’t also right about bringing sunblock [or your hat, maybe? – the wife].

In this cavernous underground train station, the subway is yet further below; I’m sitting next to the coming and going S-Bahns. These trains are the much longer ones that travel between regions such as between Frankfurt and Wiesbaden, Darmstadt, and Hanau. Normally, when I’ve been down here, I’m waiting for a specific train so I don’t really pay attention to the ones I’m not going to ride but instead count the minutes until mine shows up. Sitting here at 4:00 p.m., I’m watching trains pass through at a rate of what seems to be one every 60 to 90 seconds. By the way, not all subways of the U-Bahn system perform service strictly below ground but also find themselves out on streets, such as the U5 that used to bring Caroline and me home after visiting the downtown shopping area.

My coffee is not having the desired effect, or jet lag is simply chewing through my waking energy faster than I can muster it. Judging by people’s jackets who are walking past me, it’s still raining up there, and while I have an umbrella, there’s really nowhere else to park myself…unless I catch a train over to Hauptbahnhof that could promise more people watching and maybe somewhere to sit that’s not so far under the surface of the earth.

I’m also likely in danger of dehydrating as, with limited toilet facilities available to the public, I’m reluctant to drink. I’m guessing that for Germans, the idea is to get out to pick up what you need and go right home. I’m not giving in to that, as it’s far more interesting out here where beggars can go by asking for coins or smokes.

Pandemic Shopping in Frankfurt, Germany

Wandering around upstairs, still at Konstablerwache contemplating walking to the Hauptbahnhof, I spotted some open, and importantly, free toilets, which means I now have a goto location for that necessity. With the rain taking a break, I opted for a walk down Zeil and learned about a new way of shopping: scan a QR code to make an appointment to enter the shop at a later time or date. There’s obviously zero tolerance for ambiguity about how many people are in a shop, so a system was created to make shopping a little easier.

The respite from the rain didn’t last long, and my idea that I might walk to the main train station has been dashed so down the stairs I go into the Hauptwache train station.

Busker in Frankfurt, Germany

By and large, I find Germans to be an educated populace with a giant appetite to experience the entire breadth of their freedoms. They love their long vacations, free university system, and rich cultural offerings in nearly all mid to large-sized cities. They know world history, not just their own country’s history, and they are pretty well aware of global politics. Yes, they pay high taxes in order to have a very effective social safety net, but they are of their own mind and demand justice within their borders, and that sense of doing the right thing often extends well into Europe. With that as background, I’ve not seen a single person in the train station not wearing a mask.

Train after train passes me on its way into the station, and everyone I glance at is wearing a prescribed mask. They are not wearing gators or cloth masks; they have KN95 or medical masks on, period. I’m sure if I sit here long enough or maybe if I rode the train multiple times a day, I’d see the occasional offender but not once in the underground area or on the trains themselves. It should go without saying that it’s the exact same in the shops, but on the street, it’s definitely a mixed bag.

Just as I finish writing the above, my observations are proven wrong. A drunk man took up a seat about a dozen seats away from me and has gone to sleep; his mask is down under his chin now. Another guy further down, suffering from Tourettes or schizophrenia, is wildly gesticulating in almost violent movements, but he is quiet. Watching him, I realize there are two pigeons down here at Hauptwache with us, and maybe his head movements are trying to communicate with the birds. While not likely, I’ve got nothing other than my uneducated guesses to explain him. Time to board one of these trains to make my way out to Heddernheim.

Frankfurt, Germany

What a hodgepodge of weather in such a small region. Emerging from the bowels of the subway system, the sun is out here making me wonder if it had always been shining on this side of Frankfurt.

Frankfurt, Germany

After arriving at my in-laws, seen above, they assured me that just two hours before my arrival, it was hailing out here and the sky had just recently cleared up. We sat down at the dining room table and started to gab. Along the way, Klaus made dinner. Well, I got leftovers, but let me tell you that these were no ordinary leftovers; this was Grüne Sosse (Green Sauce) which is a famous Frankfurt specialty you will not find anywhere else on earth. With a handful of boiled potatoes and a couple of hard-boiled eggs, this dish of cold ground herbs in yogurt sauce is an absolutely perfect preparation that takes the simple and transforms into wonderful.

The conversation continued as we lost all track of time…

Frankfurt, Germany

…It was only minutes before 11:00 p.m. as I walked over to pick up the train heading back into the city center.

Medical Mask in Vending Machine from Frankfurt, Germany

The trains run late into the night, but they are not as frequent as during the day; this gave me more time to spend looking for things in these tunnels I might have missed on every previous visit I’ve made. Heading to an important meeting for work, and your mask is getting dingy? Just stop at a nearby vending machine, and between the gummy candy and chewing gum, you can buy a fresh FFP2 mask for a couple of Euros.

Frankfurt, Germany

I’m not alone out here, which makes me feel better as on my way into Germany I wasn’t sure how enforced the curfew is. I should have known that it was a recommendation and not something that turned people into criminals for needing to keep moving between places.

Frankfurt, Germany

A major source of entertainment for me in the subways has always been the sections of walls dedicated to advertising upcoming cultural events. The industry surrounding the printing and posting of these large, widely distributed missives must have taken a serious hit during the pandemic, as there’s little to read with large parts of the dedicated spaces empty. This poster, at least in my translation, captured this perfectly, “Archive for Nothing.” With nothing going on and nowhere to go, this otherwise white space is offering you a glimpse into nothing.

Frankfurt, Germany

Seeing how I no longer live off Glauburgstrasse on Gluckstrasse, I won’t be taking the U5 home tonight but instead boarded the next train, the U4, to Jutta’s old apartment. The train cars are quiet, no revelers are partying with open bottles of alcohol, nor have I seen a single homeless person or beggar on the trains yet.

I didn’t shoot very many photos today, and I won’t know for years until I read this on that future date if what I captured and shared achieved something worthwhile, but this was the best I could do. Finally, while this was only my second day in Germany, I feel as though I’ve already been here for many more days. Such is the impact of having our senses moving to fully alert from casually aware.

Day 1 – Frankfurt Arrival

I’d been in Frankfurt for about five hours before I took a moment to sit down at MyZeil to share some impressions. Much of the airport is still closed. Germany would have been closed to me if I hadn’t been able to call my brother-in-law Klaus and have him verify the reason for my arrival during the pandemic. Our stories matched, and after they had checked all the documents I had photographed (one with Caroline and her passport, our marriage certificate, the document that notes that she took my name), I showed my return ticket along with a couple of other things such as the name of my mother-in-law’s assisted living center and had explained that I would be staying in her apartment, only after all that, I watched as my passport was stamped for entry. Klaus picked me up shortly after that and took me directly to Saalburgstrasse 46, where I’ll be staying. We caught up a bit, but then I needed to head out for a bite to eat and to make my first visit with Jutta Engelhardt, my mother-in-law.

Around the corner from the apartment is Zeiss Metzgerei, where I never fail to stop for a slice of roasted pork belly on a Brötchen mit senf (roll with mustard). I’m sharing the image of the bag with my sandwich because very few places are offering somewhere to sit down and those that do are only serving people outside. To be seated at a restaurant, you have to show proof of vaccination. So, I’m outside, it’s raining lightly, and I have my computer on my back and camera on my shoulder. As I was still evaluating the relative safety of the area here on Bergerstrasse (there are usually quite a few beggars and shady types hanging out), I was keeping things tight as I stood under an awning, quickly wolfing down my Schweinebauch-Brötchen.

Living in Phoenix, we are confronted with a constant flow of people on street corners holding up placards, begging for a handout, and offering us blessings from God; store parking lot driveways are also popular begging spots. In Frankfurt, they are sitting against a building holding up signs explaining their destitute situation, but you also have those who approach you directly, asking for some change. Then there are people somewhere between poverty and homelessness who want cigarettes or a lighter. There’s something that feels more confrontational about these situations. Later in the day, I was walking by groups of beggars that seemed either like family or maybe a small gang of friends who I couldn’t help but feel were taking inventory of the person passing by as they tried to get me to acknowledge their needs. I just keep going without a word.

With something to sustain me and wanting to put the beggars behind me, I headed for the U-Bahn to catch the U4 to Römer. Jutta is now living at an assisted living facility on Buchgasse 1, and it took me a minute or two to find the entrance.

John and Jutta in Frankfurt

After a quick hello, it just so happened that I was right on time before Caroline jumped into her day to Skype her into our first meeting so the three of us could share some big smiles. I showed Jutta some photos of our recent trip to Monterey and the Big Sur Coast in California, and after a quick hour of reminiscing about past adventures, including her first trip to America that took her up that very same coast, I was back out on the street, just as the sun was emerging. I had wanted to stay longer, but jet lag was hammering at me in the warmth of my mother-in-law’s room.

The first thing to notice about Frankfurt today is how empty everything is. Streets are quiet, pedestrian traffic is way off, and many shops are still closed, while those that are open have strict entry procedures, including a few that check for your vaccination or recent negative COVID-19 test before letting you in. While intermittent rain was coming and going, there should have been far more people out here next to the Main River on a spring day.

If I’m walking, I can’t fall asleep, and I need to stay awake until at least 9:00 p.m. This might have been a bad plan because while, yes, I was moving, I had so little cognitive ability that my wandering felt lost and meaningless. Sure, there’s the nostalgia of being in the city where Caroline and I fell in love, but I’m trying to appreciate how peculiar the situation is regarding the impact of COVID-19 on such an important European capital city. Instead, I move a bit slowly, uncertain where I’m going other than hoping to find an umbrella before the next shower.

This street, in normal times, would see bumper-to-bumper traffic and a ton of noise, but it’s quiet, with only a few cars passing here and there.

Part of the iconic (and unique to Germany) view of the city of highrises is taken near a vantage point where we watch the fireworks over Frankfurt every New Year’s Day. One of the small cruise ships that ply these waters for tourists and people wanting a couple of hours on the Main sipping wine was out in the middle of the channel, but no passengers could be seen on board; I’m hoping it’s a sign that they are getting ready to ramp up services again.

I walked through here on the way to Jutta’s when it was still raining and absolutely empty, but that photo was a bit grim, and half-timber buildings just look better in the sun anyway. Behind me is the Römer, the seat of city government, and before me is the Römerberg where one of the best Christmas markets is held when conditions allow.

As quickly as the sun came out, the clouds moved back in, so I dipped into Kleinmarkthalle where I’ll probably visit a dozen more times while I’m in the Frankfurt area. This covered farmers market has always been a favorite of mine as I’d never known anything like it before I took up residence in Frankfurt back in 1985. Stopping here for a cortado was not only meant to revive my heavy eyes, but I couldn’t help but think of our friend Angela, who brought us to the place that made her favorite coffee drink in Frankfurt some years ago that just happened to be right here.

On the other side of Kleinmarkthalle, with my coffee in hand, I found myself being serenaded by this Cuban busker playing clarinet for passersby, hoping to earn a few Euros. I threw some coins in and talked with him for a short while about his 30 years living in this city and his hopes that someday he could move to America. Seems that the pandemic has been especially hard on people on the economic margin of life in Germany.

Still, without an umbrella, I had to duck under an awning and wait for some fierce and heavy rain mixed with hail to pass before continuing my aimless walk through the city.

Just behind me is where I visited MyZeil, looking in even more earnest for an umbrella but also in need of a toilet. What the heck? The toilets are all closed, probably due to the pandemic. Then, like the determined person I am, I simply went through one of the passages where the “closed toilets” were supposed to be, but they were locked. …Or were they? Yes, the men’s room was definitely locked, but I heard female voices in the women’s room, so I waited. Their door didn’t close all the way, and so, although the handle was locked too and wouldn’t turn, I was able to use the facilities. I guess Germans aren’t wandering very far from home or drinking a lot while out getting some sun, as I didn’t see one open public toilet.

It was at this point that I started taking my first notes of the day I referenced in the first paragraph.

I can’t believe how familiar this city still is. When Caroline and I visited Frankfurt for the first time after 18 years away, I was kind of lost, but today things are all quite familiar. It was difficult to sit still writing anything as I wanted to keep on moving to see what I could see on my first day. I had ideas for dinner, but the fatigue of traveling around the earth to be here and only getting about two hours of sleep on my flight might change my plans.

I know I can’t do everything on day one, and I also know I have five more hours of daylight. The urgency to sleep nags at me with big yawns that tell me to get my blood flowing and keep walking. I know I have to stay awake until at least 9:00 p.m., though it feels like I could lay down on a nearby bench for a quick nap.

Wow, an E-Assist mini UPS delivery vehicle is being pedaled through the shopping area of Hauptwache; I’m seriously impressed. If these were 2-person affairs with space in the back for sleeping, I could see driving something like this through Yellowstone and going camping with it.

Speaking of Hauptwache, while the Hauptwache Cafe looked closed, it was open actually, but having apple strudel and cream for dinner seemed a bit heavy, so I kept walking in the direction I was going, which was in the general direction of the Hauptbahnhof (main train station). That got me thinking about this guy I know who lives nearby.

I texted Olaf, who had no idea I was coming to Germany, and asked him to take a walk down Kaiserstrasse and that maybe we’d bump into each other. Surprised, he headed out immediately, no questions asked. He helped me find a nice, inexpensive purple umbrella and then led us to an Imbiss (cafe and convenience store in one), where I had another coffee before we crossed the street to his apartment.

Whoa, Olaf’s “kids” grew up and are nearly adults! Sylvia was home, but of course, she was, as many people still are, working from home, though I did learn she’s had her first two days back in the classroom. Both Olaf and his wife are vaccinated; well, Olaf is halfway there. After covering things about life during the pandemic, I was hungry, but my plans were now certainly different than my intention when I left America; I needed food, and I needed it now.

Again, back across the street and up towards the Hauptbahnhof, we visited a Döner Kebab shop Olaf’s daughter Lucy recommended: it hit the spot. Döner is loosely known as gyros in America, but they are nothing alike because döner is actually great. All of a sudden, it was 9:00 p.m., and I still wanted to get some blog-related things out of the way, so we parted ways with the agreement that we’d meet again while I was in Germany for a cookout in his backyard.

Walking through the main train station area at 9:00 p.m. was a stupid idea as I felt I had “robbery victim” written all over my head. Moving with purpose, I was quickly on my way to the subway on the U4 back to Bornheim Mitte for the short walk to my mother-in-law’s apartment. This photo is for Caroline. It is a mural near her mom’s place that never fails to put smiles on our faces. Great, now I’m wired. Maybe I had too much coffee?

Day 0 – Destination Germany

United Airlines in Arizona

Well, here I am at the airport at 11:00 on a Monday morning, on my way to Denver, where I’ll be catching a plane this evening to Frankfurt, Germany. I’ll land in Frankfurt at 11:30 a.m. local time, which is 2:30 a.m. in Phoenix, Arizona. This is my first time in an airport in two years, and from the look of things, life is back to normal, aside from the masks.

My Uber driver showed up early, which ensured I got to the airport on time. Once at the check-in kiosk and having scanned my passport, I needed an airline rep to verify my documents. I was asked for my COVID test results, which pushed my launch buttons. I insisted that Germany recently changed the policy, and exceptions were made. Luckily, before I could transition to panic, the assistant spotted the exceptions button and verified my CDC vaccination document. Phew.

Because my TSA/KTN/Pre-check paperwork was still good, I was able to avoid the seriously long security line and breezed through that part of the gauntlet. As usual, I’m under stress as I do not look forward to the boarding process because I worry that my bag won’t fit in an overhead bin if I arrive at my seat late. And what do I do with all this extra time? Eat? Hmm, airport food. My options were slim, but I knew that.

Obviously, I turned to writing, but now that I have the easy, obligatory rundown of what transpired after I left home this morning, I’m floundering to find anything very meaningful to note here. I’m transfixed by what I’ve committed to and pretty much only see Germany on the horizon. I should note that it’s strangely quiet in the terminal, though there are a lot of people here, probably due to the masks that are muffling conversations. Maybe my mind is being muffled by this face covering? I know coffee will kick-start me.

The bar with bar food is the only option for a bite to eat at this terminal. It filled the lunch requirement, and having arrived at the airport so early, I endured the long line at Starbucks for the main reason for wandering away from the waiting area. Before I know it our row numbers are called to board our plane, and we are soon in the air, heading out of the desert.

While I’m flying with a full complement of software toys to occupy myself, the brevity of the flight has me reluctant to try digging into something that will take a bit of time to find flow with. So, why am I back at this writing stuff if the flow is so difficult to find? Because I don’t know what else to do in my narrow little seat. I know, I should have brought videos! No, that would absolve me from trying to discover an inkling of something to say beyond this low-hanging fruit of complaint.

Just barely at altitude, we are almost 30 minutes into our flight then in another 30 minutes, we’ll begin our descent. The beverage carts are out, and we’ve been reminded countless times that our masks are required at all times unless we are taking sips of our drink or eating.

If I were a betting man, I’d wager that the majority of my tensions here in the air are attributable to the total disdain I hold for those around me. Honestly, though, I hold no real insight into who these half-lives are; I’m only making assumptions based on some 50 years of looking people in the face and waiting for things to fall out. They confirm my bias or lend me new biases to assign to their character type, if that’s even really possible. After writing this out, I might tend to think I need a therapist to resolve all of this deep-seated animosity, except in the back of my puny brain, I know that life’s too short and that snap decisions must be made so I can protect the little bit of gray matter that still functions in this old man’s withering brain.

Sweet Jeezus, a passenger on my right, is in the third cycle of disinfecting herself and everything around her. Take a drink and immediately swab her face with an alcohol wipe. Stuff that infected wipe into the Ziploc bag she brought along just for the ritual. Then, in a flash, the enlightenment I didn’t know I really wanted: watch videos so you can tune everyone else around you out of existence. That’s the key: people watch TV to erase their existence and deny that anyone else might be intruding into whatever bit of awareness hasn’t died yet. Hence, zombie movies are popular as a kind of documentary of what, to me, looks like what happens when too much awareness has been kept alive.

Time to turn to the toilet, as isn’t that an essential consideration for flying? With a serious concentration on clearing my bowels before I left Arizona, I was successful in evacuating the old pooper at home. That’s right, in the comfort of my home, I was able to find excretory relief. This is important, as a man of 230 pounds who can’t imagine reaching down between my fat thighs to shove my hand into that tiny hole of a cold steel toilet I have to crap in and find my ass to clean it. I can’t really imagine how anyone has ever done that; hence, you can read this as my admission that I’ve never dropped a number 2 at 35,000 feet. Others are even more anxious than I am when it comes to evacuation while aloft, as I’ve seen much evidence left by the man who, knowing that women also have to use these facilities, failed to lift the seat and, in a moment of turbulence simply pissed willy-nilly all over the seat and much of the floor.

I should have more to share about my digestive process while flying, and just as I think I’m at a loss to offer more, I realize that many a reader might be able to relate to the situation that after a long-distance flight, the chocolate starfish on my backside seems to seal shut for approximately two days until it overcomes the trauma that might have required it to release in a space far too intimate for those who were broken during our formative potty-training years. Yep, I’m butthole and shit stink shy of ever enjoying whatever pleasure might exist by letting go of any mounting pressure while flying. For all the crap that flows from my mouth, I can imagine many people I’ve known wondering how somebody who lets so much fall from his maw should not take pride in pooping on a plane. Obviously, not one of my superpowers.

Approaching the time to descend into Denver.

And before I know it I’m on Lufthansa flight LH447 direct to Frankfurt, Germany. The flight will take 9 hours 45 minutes and already I’m relaxed as I’m surrounded by travelers going home to Sweden, Turkey, Germany, and other points I’ve not ascertained. Talked with a young American lady who is studying abroad and shared her difficulties of jumping through flaming hoops to get into Germany at this time. Even my entry is not a guaranteed deal, as I’ll have to convince the authorities that I have valid family reasons for coming to Europe. Hopefully, with the digital images of documents that show Caroline and I are married, Jutta’s number at her assisted living facility, and Klaus as the last resort to verify things, I’ll breeze through the gauntlet of challenges.

My flight has wifi, and my seat has an outlet, so I’m all set to remain busy getting these writings into my blog so Caroline might try keeping up with the onslaught of words that are about to start falling into her eyeballs and mind. For the moment, there are no photos to accompany the previous 1,800 words I drolled on with, but hopefully, as we fly along, I’ll take some photos that will likely look very similar to other photos I’ve taken from the air while heading towards Europe. Time to close this down for a few while we move towards take-off.

Quick note: we are 8,096km from Frankfurt, and the time of flight has been updated to 8 hours 45 minutes.

Airplane Food

Search harder, John; there must be something in that noggin I’ve not repeated 427 times already, but that’s all I’m finding as we skirt at a hair over 1,000 km/h above the surface of the earth. We just passed 10,000 meters in elevation and entered the bitter cold world of -54 Celsius. Dinner service is about to begin, which feels early, but it’s 5:30 p.m. in Phoenix and 6:30 in Denver, so I guess this is as good a time as any to sup. The wifi is not on yet, as I’m guessing they want to get everyone through dinner and drinks before people zone out in entertainment land. Just then, my memory tells me that I have cashews in my bag. Time for a pre-dinner snack.

I wonder, does Caroline miss me yet? We’ve already chatted 30 times and Skyped on video after I boarded my flight to Germany. I know she misses me, and I miss her. It would be pointless to go on and on about our situation, but that’s never stopped me from beating dead horses all over this blog. So I’ll reiterate this: I MISS CAROLINE. Ooh…the dinner cart is being dragged by.

Dinner was exactly what you might have expected: meh, but the brie was nice.

Seven hours forty-eight minutes to Frankfurt. My face was having a steam bath, but at least I was able to bum a surgical mask from another passenger that allowed me to exit the N95, which was seriously hotter. Fabric masks are not permitted, and passengers were informed that they’d be denied boarding if they didn’t put on one of the two types allowed.

Hazy View of the Sky

I’d like to grab a photo outside, but I’m on the left of the craft and have the sun pummeling me if I dare have my shade open; plus, it’s so hazy I’d have little to show you. Here, I’ll prove it.

Maybe I should have brought a book? I’d decided against it as, knowing me, I’d struggle to keep up processing photos and trying to capture the day in words. I managed to pack everything I’d need for 36 days in one carry-on bag; there was little room for much else. I even fit my pillow in my luggage.

Somehow, my thoughts drift to the idea that if I could just get on wifi and say hello to Caroline, I could relax into writing something more compelling than the mundane moment by moment blather I’m droning on about. Just because I’m aware of this shortcoming doesn’t mean I’m going to fight it and not continue this thread of nothingness, though.

The shades are closed and night has fallen on us here in our seats as the sun continues blazing outside our aircraft. Also continuing to blaze along are the vocal cords of infants who’ve been wailing for a good two hours. Slowly, they are starting to fade as, hopefully, the dimmed ambiance of the cabin and white noise will lull them to sleep. As for me, I’m trying to make it another two or three hours, so I might get three or four hours of sleep before stepping into mid-day after we land.

Just as I thought, following dinner, we were able to get online. For 17 Euros, I have a limited connection, and it wasn’t worth the $20 I’m paying. For 29 Euros or $34, I am promised a faster connection, but I’m reluctant to test those waters. Anyway, besides chatting the same thing over and over to Caroline, I don’t really want a connection to the larger world.

While the kids continue nattering away, with the loudest one finally done screaming, I’m getting sleepy, or so I’m trying to convince myself. Just then, the screaming Swedish baby starts up again, and her stressed-out mom heads for the back of the plane sans infant. I think the parent’s nerves are growing raw. Soon, my own nerves are going to fray. This baby is nearly relentless.

Late Night Over The Earth

We are under five hours from Frankfurt, and I’m getting nervous I won’t get a bit of sleep, though I’ve tried. I know I can muscle through tomorrow, but I’ll be spongy-brained. Hah, I can hear anyone who’s read this far thinking, “Dude, you already are spongy-brained.” I have tons of legroom as I’m in a seat behind a divider to business class, and no one is sitting next to me. I also don’t have any way of directing air at myself, and with this mask on, I’m overheating. I’m not inclined to take it off and test the system as stewards walk by regularly inspecting us for compliance. The Germans are not messing around as far as air travel is concerned.

The Swedish family is finally resting, as is the entire plane. I wish I knew how others were able to just go to sleep on command even though their body clock is likely saying, “Yo, it’s too early for this.”

Obviously, staring blankly at this screen won’t get me any restorative sleep, so once again, I’ll close up the laptop and try my best to get some sleep. Maybe with my shoes off, I’ll feel sleepier? Whatever.

Johns New Socks

There’s that place somewhere during a long-haul flight where one loses track of time. While trying to drift into sleep but keenly aware of a cramped body trying to find comfort in a near-vertical position, made more difficult by the tug of rubber bands from the mandatory mask behind my ears that seem to slice ever so slightly into flesh. But somehow, something sleep-like was had, and though it was fleeting, we tried to convince ourselves that we were now rested. How long had I slept well? It won’t be until you are face to face with a passport control officer that you realize how wrecked you are. Stepping into a busy city at mid-day while your internal clock tells you that it’s 2:00 a.m. is a subtle process that competes with trying to make sense of the dramatic shift in language and that you have to secure some local currency so you can move about freely. In the meantime, I can spend a few minutes trying to get a good photo of the new socks Caroline knitted me and that I’m wearing for the first time on this trip.

Morning On Approach To Europe

After starting to stir I thought it a good idea to peek outside. I was nearly blinded by this folly, but now I’m also fully aware that we transitioned from the dusk-like zone to the oh-my-god; it’s the middle of the day in a European capital that I’m about to encounter. Soon, the aircrew will start bringing up the lights to create an artificial transition to morning, and we’ll be served our first meal of the day. But this is an extension of last night, and I’m feeling confused. After a breakfast that, based on the clock, is too late, yet based on my body clock, it’s happening in the middle of the night; we’ll start the process of being ushered into the cattle yard to be sorted into our next destinations.

The last 20 hours of life spent in the process of traveling is a blur of moments trying to extract something meaningful that relates to what I am about to embark on, but the reality is that I squirm in roles of trying to be sophisticated and entertained, locked in a tiny space waiting for others to be finished with the transport of my body. This is not glamorous, nor is it enlightening; it’s mobility torture for the sake of celebrating mobility when one finally begins the real journey of being somewhere.

This is a powerful reminder that when confined. the internet is of little service in rescuing you from the inescapable. The internet, for me, is only able to fill gaps with mindlessness or knowledge when sandwiched into the luxury of options that I’m struggling to make. Do I go for coffee, make music, read, watch cat videos, meet a friend for lunch, or go grocery shopping? When no options exist but to persist in place, I find what the internet has to offer as banal as the TV I so vehemently eschew. I wonder how we encode options against the economic and time realities we exist within and how the media becomes the crutch we turn to when indecisiveness and ambiguity are facing us.

One plumbs a lot of boredom and idle time under constraints and restrictions to kick-start our minds into finding viable options to lead us through the moments where our decisions to act are severely diminished. Comfort to have options might not be our best friend when we are aware of our desire to manifest a different reality, and so we must bind ourselves in ways that at once punish our mind and body while simultaneously liberating our imagination to create constructs that offer viable outlets for minds that want to explode in the power to manifest an undefined new reality.

John on board near Germany

My fellow passengers have started to stir, and others are repeating the mistake I made earlier, opening their window shades. Just as quickly as one opens, it closes. We are only 90 minutes away from our encounter with a different world, and somehow, this is all quite different than my previous visits. Maybe in our post-pandemic world, our senses are being reset, and it’s not as easy to take for granted what we used to enjoy. If I’m allowed to enter the European Union, I’ll be stepping onto ground where national governments are not yet at ease about the consequences of people making selfish decisions and those moving about potentially sharing a deadly virus. What I find in Germany might be a shock compared to Phoenix, where my transition to pandemic existence was relatively gradual.

Enough writing for now. I’m ready to fling open the shade and see this side of Earth. Bring me something to eat and kick me off this plane; I need to stretch my legs and see how my mind exercises itself in this tomorrow that arrives at a peculiar time.

Next time I have to travel wearing a mask I must remind myself to have mints with me and a toothbrush in easy reach. I need a second mask with me, too, as this one just broke, and I’d like to avoid the N95 as I move through the airport and try to be understood by passport control. Speaking of entering another country, my anxiety wants to make itself known, but if the Germans decide that family helping out family in a bind is not reason enough to allow my entry, well, that’s fate and just the way it is. I’m confident that my ducks are in a row, but the people I’m about to encounter know significantly more about order than I ever will.

Okay, breakfast is done. We are awaiting a sweep for trash and I’m expecting I will lose wifi shortly. With sunshine streaming in through opened windows, my senses are telling me to reach out to Caroline, but it’s 1:00 a.m. when she puts her head down for the night. She won’t be up for about 3.5 hours, meaning, yes, she’s waking at 4:30. Why so early? To go for a walk, talk with me, and then put herself in that infernal machine called a car that she’ll have to pilot to her office.

About to land in Frankfurt Germany

Only 45 minutes left before touchdown. Time to turn my attention to putting things away and getting ready to start blogging about what lies ahead.

Deutschland

Europe 2021 Map

For days now I’ve been trying to write this post that shares that I’m heading to Germany for nearly five weeks. My primary reason is to help sort my mother-in-law’s belongings that couldn’t follow her into assisted living and to visit with her, take her for walks, and hopefully share a laugh or two along the way. My secondary purpose is moving around in ways conducive to writing about what I find, and if I’m lucky, I will reconnect with a storyline I started writing back in 2019. Then again, maybe I’ll find a different story, no matter really, as I’m looking for confirmation or denial of set and setting playing a role in my creative processes.

Caroline is not traveling with me on this journey, but by mid-September, the two of us should be on our way back to Europe with the hope of spending about ten days with family before venturing out for 21 days of indulgence, moving about the continent in search of new adventures. With Caroline waiting to hear back from the U.S. Government regarding her citizenship application, we’d be remiss if she missed an appointment that could move that process along.

I’m anticipating having an adequate amount of time to give to myself aside from family obligations. Thirty-five years ago, when I first landed in Germany, I’d often board random train lines to see where they went, getting off at stops that looked interesting. These days, I may know too much for my own good when it comes to exploring surprise destinations that just come up as the train heads to its ultimate destination. So, while I know I may not really care about heading into Bad Homburg, Hanau, or Darmstadt, I do want to revisit the local routes to Gelnhausen, Wiesbaden, Nidda, Friedberg, Niedernhausen, and Oberursel-Hohemark. While I’m at it, I’m considering heading into Karlsruhe to visit my father-in-law and then maybe Marburg, Worms, Kassel, Limburg, Koblenz, Munich, and finally Paris.

Making the decision to leave for Germany only a week before I flew out meant there were 100 things I needed to get done to leave Caroline in the most comfortable situation possible. Now, with 48 hours left, I’m setting my attention to the logistics of figuring out when and how I will fit in those above journeys I’d like to make. My original thought regarding Paris was to go for 3 or 4 days, but I’m considering the idiotic idea of going for a day as no one would ever travel from Frankfurt to Paris for a day unless it was for business, but I see the story of popping into the French capital for a day as making for a good story here on my blog. Then again, two days in Paris and two days in Amsterdam would also have a lot of appeal. If I stare at the map just a little longer, everything starts to enchant me.

What is certain is that if I go to Munich, that will just be for the day. The historic city center will be the focus of this trip, and with direct ICE trains (high speed) getting there in about 3 hours, I can easily satisfy myself with 10 hours in Munich before heading back.

Sunrise and sunset are important factors in my journeys, and during June, when the sun over Germany rises at approximately 5:15 a.m. and sets at 9:30 p.m., I have solid daylight for 15 hours of illuminated exploration. One difficult aspect of calculating things is the rapidly changing COVID situation that is obviously having a huge impact on tourism. I’m seeing prices changing quickly, which has me thinking things are about to pop open. Fixing on buying train tickets and reserving a room in Paris feels smart, but there’s still a lot of ambiguity about how all this will play out.

Believe it or not, my movements through Europe will be measured, as without Caroline by my side, I’m well aware of what she’ll be missing and how much she’d like to share the sights and experiences with me. So, take Paris: I have no intention of visiting anything other than the sidewalks, parks, and cafes in the City of Light. The objective is to observe, contemplate, write, and repeat. This goes for the rest of my destinations as well; should I stumble upon something of particular interest I feel Caroline would enjoy, a note is made for us to return. And if we cannot return someday? Such is life; we accepted long ago that we will never see everything, and many places of importance on the global map will be sacrificed to the gods of time and cost.

Frankfurt to Phoenix

Frankfurt, Germany

We went out for an early morning walk to try to combat the total lack of movement we’ll be enduring while crammed into our seats for the more than 11-hour trek back to Phoenix later today.

Frankfurt, Germany

Klaus told us of a foot and bike path that runs along the Nidda River and even volunteered to wake early with us so we could get a short 10km (6 miles) walk in before breakfast.

Frankfurt, Germany

It’s simply beautiful out here. If nothing else about our time spent in Germany this year, we learned that we’ve never invested enough in exploring the points between here and there on foot.

Frankfurt, Germany

When we were on our way back to Haus Engelhardt, we made an effort to pass Speisekammer, where I inquired about what time they opened. Seeing we had to head to the airport at 12:30, we could hardly eat here one more time if they didn’t open until 11:30 or later, but luck would have it that they open at 11:00, so it seemed settled that we’d just have to take up some seats as their first customers of the day.

Frankfurt, Germany

Handkäs mit Musik with farmers’ bread because I can never have enough of this stuff when on pilgrimage in this city on the Main River.

Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

Frankfurter grüne Sauce mit gekochten Eiern und Petersilienkartoffeln with a glass of Apfelwein is the only way to indulge the senses right up to the last minute before racing to the airport. See ya later, Frankfurt.

Iceland

There’s a small town out there near the middle of the photo at the water’s edge called Dalvik, and the little island in front of it is Hrisey. What a great day to be flying.

Greenland

This is Greenland because it’s not Antarctica, and no, it’s not the North Pole either because the ice and snow float on the sea because there’s no continent up there, remember?

Greenland

I can’t believe this incredible view we’re being offered from around 35,000 feet above sea level.

Labrador Sea

The Labrador Sea, where I cannot see a polar bear running across the ice no matter how close I look.

Wyoming

Looks like Wyoming to me; we must be close to home.

Phoenix, Arizona

And then here we are soon to touch down in this arid place in the desert we call home.

Frankfurt – Sunday

Frankfurt, Germany

There’s this horrible song titled “Back to the Start” by Michael Schulte that has been following me since I arrived in Berlin and heard it for the first time. I tried ignoring its cloyingly formulaic jingle, not wanting to gain a clue about its lyrical content, but here I am on my last full day in Frankfurt, and just as it happened on every other day here, the song wafts out of the kitchen at the Engelhardts’ and into my ear to excite the worm that lives there. At that moment, I decided this was definitely the anthem of this German summer and went to the kitchen with trusty Google in tow and asked it to identify the song I didn’t want to know. Now I know the lyrics, and I resent it even more for its intentional sucking in people in need of nostalgia that dips into feelings of a lost childhood. Be that as it may, I can no longer ignore this musical trainwreck, and so by putting it front and center, I’ll forever be able to relive those mornings in cafes and at the Engelhardts when my cringe factor was in full tilt.

While I’m here, I shouldn’t forget to remind myself of the song that now identifies our days in Croatia, where we first heard Nera performing “Centar svita.” Well, that’s our “city” song, while in the country, it would have to be the Haris Džinović anthem, “Muštuluk.

Enough of that, and onto the photo above. The Engelhardt’s are the official Guinness World Record holders of most liquid bath soaps ever collected in one place. While they now have enough soap to wash 100 people every day for 1,000 years their collection shows no signs of slowing down. Turns out that the Yves Rocher Grapefruit & Thyme Shower Gel might be my all-time favorite soap scent, and it only took me trying out a few dozen soap scents while I showered this morning to learn that.

Frankfurt, Germany

Down in the basement the Engelhardt’s are still building their collection of jams and jellies to qualify with the Guinness committee as being the most diverse on earth. So you might be able to read some of the labels I zoomed in tight for this view of a mere 2% of the current collection where you’ll find cinnamon-cherry plum, pumpkin-coconut, apple-medlar (like, what the heck is medlar in the first place?), blueberry-coriander (who thought that one up?), and others you may never believe.

Upstairs for breakfast with the most awesome German Vollkornbrötchen served up with a gaggle of jam flavors, including lilac, dandelion jelly, and a concoction direct from Klaus, who created an amazing apricot-vanilla jam. The pièce de résistance, though, had to be the mind-blowing strawberry with mint and black pepper. What the hell, America? I go into our mega grocery stores, and I’m offered 100 different brands of grape and strawberry, a couple of raspberry variations, and the god-awful creation known as Goober, which puts peanut butter and grape jelly in the same jar.

Jutta Engelhardt and Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

You know that wish of mine to move slower and how I romanticize the speed of turtles and snails? Well, Jutta moves at a speed somewhere between the two, and I have to share a mea culpa here that I, in fact, do NOT want to move at those barely visible speeds where observers can’t be certain if the person is even moving anymore. My legs start to cramp, trying not to appear to be running ahead while I maintain her cadence so we can walk along together. Caroline and I left Heddernheim relatively early so we could fetch my mother-in-law and drag her out for lunch.

Frankfurt, Germany

We took all of those trains to get to our destination, all of them.

Jutta Engelhardt and Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

I stood there waiting to frame this photo of Caroline walking with her mother, and finally, after about 45 minutes, the magic started to happen, and I had my shot. Now I’m nearing starvation, and my hallucinations are suggesting it might have been days since I last ate.

Frankfurt, Germany

Our lunch was at the Central Grill right behind me here at the corners of Münchenerstrasse and Weserstrasse in the heart of the city. On Friday night, after landing in Frankfurt, we visited this place in need of some southern European cooking, and while I loved my meal, they were out of roasted lamb, so I settled on the lamb shank. My bet was that they’d have the roasted lamb today, and I wasn’t disappointed. The funny thing was that all three of us had the roasted lamb followed by a strong Turkish coffee before taking off for dessert.

Frankfurt, Germany

Heading back from whence we came.

Frankfurt, Germany

We waited for the U5 to take us back into our old neighborhood, but that story has been written about nearly a dozen times here on the blog of JohnWise.com.

Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

This is becoming a bit of a tradition where Caroline poses with some giant plastic food items we spot along the road.

Jutta Engelhardt and Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

Our old neighborhood has been gentrified by hipsters who overtook the place. They moved in, started having babies, trendy restaurants followed them in, and now you have to be nearly rich to live here but it’s still a place of fond memories.

Engelhardt Family and Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

Klaus and Stephanie rode their bikes over here to meet us on this beautiful day so all of us could be together for at least a short while during this visit. Oh, and we’re at Eis Christina for our favorite Spaghetti Ice Cream in the world.

Engelhardt Family and Caroline Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

One more photo for the road before Caroline and I accompany Jutta back to her apartment.

Frankfurt, Germany

Inclusiveness is on full public display when even the streetlights embrace the diversity that is thriving in Frankfurt.

Frankfurt, Germany

With this being our last full day in Europe, we need to absorb as much of the city as we can so we opted to walk nearly all the way back to Heddernheim. Along the way, we even passed the house where Anne Frank spent her first years.

Frankfurt, Germany

Why we never really learned about the green belts that trace through the city when we lived here will remain one of life’s great mysteries to me.

Frankfurt, Germany

Klaus has been toiling in the kitchen to prepare this exquisite home-cooked meal. I must admit that Caroline and I are a bit embarrassed by the incredible hospitality offered us by the Engelhardt’s. We arrive, they give us a room upstairs, supply us with breakfast, turn over a key to the front door, and all of that for guests who are rarely here as we are out visiting our elderly family members or old friends for the majority of our time in Frankfurt. So I’m happy that towards the end of our vacations in Europe, we always seem to have a couple of days where we share each other’s company a bit more and close on a great note.