Desolation is a State of Mind

Wildflowers off Highway 74 in Arizona

Avoid all highways, embrace empty spaces, and drive so slow that the tortoises and lizards pass you by. Our wandering route promised to require no less than seven hours before we’d arrive in Shoshone, California, outside of Death Valley National Park, but when taking the backroads, there’s a good chance of frequent fortuitous stops to collect visual souvenirs seemingly lying in wait for a collision with seeking eyes and thoughts that may or may not give them context.

Aguila, Arizona

Similar to the rarity of wildflowers carpeting the desert, encountering a long-closed store is an uncommon sight for people living in an economically viable neighborhood. As I started to write that sentence, it occurred to me that I needed to point out the economically viable part because I know firsthand that those who live in the blighted areas of America’s cities are all too familiar with abandoned buildings that once provided local services. To my eyes, though, they are a novelty that draws me in to capture the current state of a facade that apparently has been neglected since between 2007 and 2012 (based on a poster in the window showing the price for a pack of Marlboro as $5.39 which coincides with that aforementioned time frame). So, while the town looks the worse for wear due to this decaying artifact of the past, up the street, Family Dollar swooped in and, while offering what is likely a greater choice of goods, declined to assume the cost of tearing out this eyesore.

Wenden, Arizona

On the other hand, take the Sunset Motel further west in the town of Wenden, Arizona. Years ago, it was an abandoned hulk collecting cobwebs and graffiti, while today, it has been converted into an artists’ colony. With so much road ahead of us, we felt that our time would be better spent covering said road and considered that maybe a day trip out this way might be in order to better explore these towns we rarely visit.

Salome, Arizona

It has been about 20 years since we last stopped at this place next to the road in Salome, Arizona, wondering what it once was, and to this day are still intrigued that the tie-ups for horses are still standing.

Bouse, Arizona

Well, Bouse, Arizona, must be going to hell because the first time we passed through here, the sign read that they’d gone from 3 to 4 grouchy people among the 875 inhabitants. That it’s grown to 35 grouches suggests the quality of life has gone downhill.

Parker, Arizona

South of Parker, Arizona, along the Colorado River, lives a tribe of Indians called the ‘Aha Havasuu, made up of various other groups, including the Mohave, Chemehuevi, Hopi, and Navajo. Just behind me is a canal full of Colorado River water being used to irrigate the land on that side, while on the far left, fire is being used to clear the remains of a depleted crop. Why the canal on the south side has been allowed to fill with sand is a mystery.

Highway 62 in California

Now, in California, on Highway 62, we have about 100 miles ahead of us, but until we arrive at the outskirts of 29 Palms, we have a wide-open desert to drive across.

Highway 62 in California

Along the way, we’ll see sand, rocks, dirt, shrubs, whispy clouds, deep blue skies, trash, and a lot of asphalt.

Shoe Tree in Rice, California

What we didn’t expect to find was a peculiar variation of the shoe tree. Here in Rice, California, at the remnants of an old gas station, the shoes of passers-by who made a donation to the roof are covering the spot where the pumps would have once stood. It turns out that there used to be an underwear tree that had taken shape on a dead tamarisk tree, but it and the underwear burned, and with what was left, a shoe tree took root before another fire burned everything to the ground. There are a few other works of art close by: someone decorated a shrub with COVID masks, and a wall is covered in graffiti. Apparently, there’s also a shoe fence out here, but we missed that one, creating a solid reason to return one day.

Rice Desert Signpost in California on Highway 62

This signpost out near Rice, easily identifiable as a signpost, features pointers to names, things, or places beyond my simple ability to comprehend just what they are pointing to.

Off Amboy Road in California

Out there, somewhere beyond the horizon, are unknown sights waiting to be seen by eyes that haven’t yet seen what lies in places they’ve never visited. While the road looks relatively well-traveled, it’s obviously not a thoroughfare, nor is it a boulevard or a destination that has the kind of pull that can illicit the common influencer to venture into its still hidden secrets.

Off Amboy Road in California

And then, around the corner, we are delivered into an abundance of more nothingness that is, in reality, a misnomer because anyone can easily see that everything is found here. The peculiar nature of people missing what could be perceived as a cruel joke because everything is within their minds. Desolation is a state of an empty mind that doesn’t allow the spoonfed person the usage of their imagination to understand that they are nearly always looking at the most immense beauty that contains all the gravity of life they will ever know but can’t quite understand. Would this space somehow gather more value if there were someone in an evocative pose and clothing? For the simple-minded, that is precisely what they require for a location to assume value; that is a tragedy larger than the breadth of this desert.

Amboy, California

There was a time in the golden age of travel, a time I’ve not personally lived through but of which I have some awareness thanks to older family members who shared stories about seeing the exotic sites out west along Route 66, some of the best experiences one might hope to capture. Likewise, for those from out west, going to New York City, Niagara Falls, or Florida could be the vacation of a lifetime. So here we are in Amboy, California, at Roy’s long-closed motel in the Mojave desert where probably everyone who passes by snaps a photo, and not one of us will ever get to eat at the cafe or stay the night without seeing our stop as a trophy having been collected. This begs the question, why should a side-of-the-road motel and cafe deserve this kind of recognition? It’s because we are nostalgic for normal stuff without understanding that in our age of conformity, where everything and everyone looks the same, these artifacts are hints of what’s been lost. Now consider that while these architectural relics are able to draw our attention, those capturing these moments can’t yet see their own ugly sameness as a part of the disappearance of anything we used to take for granted that was unique.

Kelbaker Road and the Mojave National Preserve in California

We are entering the Mojave National Preserve, where we are being requested in a humorous way to slow down. If ever there were people desiring to oblige a wish, this one speaks to our hearts. There was a time when we yearned to race into everything, which might be an artifact of evolution because if life is short, you’d better get all you can as quickly as can. Life spans are longer, yet people have less time for themselves as they divide their hours and days between jobs, getting to and from those jobs, consuming entertainment, and the consumption of things that are supposed to bring satisfaction while not offering any kind of purpose or growth. Distracted without intention or an idea that there could be a purpose aside from collecting, people race ahead to collect the trophy of participation.

Mojave National Preserve in California

Without intention backed by curiosity to evolve one’s knowledge, the desolation of purposelessness takes over the landscape, and other than a single objective, nothing is found about the world around them or the world within. That type of person may have ended up racing over sand dunes, shooting some targets, reaching a peak, or skiing down a mountain, but everything between the culmination of the end goal and being locked back in their cocoon is the toil of futility as they had to endure the boring parts. They don’t understand that there are no boring parts.

Kelso Depot in Kelso, California

In gazing at our past that no longer has a function apart from serving as a sad reminder that our present is absent of authenticity, we look through a prism of uncertainty, not recognizing that this empty space is reflecting the desolation of our minds. For about 80 years, the Kelso Depot served workers and travelers as a rest and refueling stop on a line that ran between Salt Lake City, Utah, and Los Angeles, California. Today, there’s no hint of their shadows, voices, or footsteps that carried them into a place in the middle of nowhere they needed to be, unlike current visitors who are trying to figure out what the attraction is of visiting something that once had a purpose and now only serves as a reminder of something from an era we hardly understand.

Kelbaker Road and the Mojave National Preserve in California

Soon, all recollection of who we were or are will be gone as we fade out of relevancy due to not wanting to know who we are. As a species, we held the potential to be more than the appearance of a thing; we had cognizance and a desire to adorn ourselves with the artifacts of crafts learned and mastered, from jewelry to music and words. Today, we purchase what others tell us will complete us; we borrow mannerisms and use pre-ordained colloquial jargon that demonstrates our membership in the club of cool hipster culture in order to buy instant influencer cred. That moment where we luxuriate in the pretentious, artificially contrived place known as Flash-in-the-Pan soon dumps everyone out at the end of the intersection of Uh-Oh and Oh-Shit. If we are fortunate, we rapidly adapt and jump into the vehicle of Remain-in-Childhood; otherwise, it’s off for a bumpy road trip down the Existential Crisis Highway.

World's Largest Thermometer in Baker, California

In the numbness of oblivion where desolation dwells, a chemically induced existence invites those who embrace banality to flutter about the light as they, on occasion, crash into the margin of awareness. For those determined to weather the heat of curiosity, we have few beacons to guide or warn us of impending collisions that may temporarily derail our ambition to go it alone. We are not here to pose for you; we are here to remind ourselves that when the opportunity arose for us to leave convenience and laziness behind, we accepted the challenge to witness our wandering across the space between, and if it were a flower, a ruin, or the world’s largest thermometer, we were on-hand to consider where it might fit in the encyclopedia of our experiences.

Salt Creek off Highway 127 south of Shoshone, California

It’s likely easier to understand that this water will flow into another stream or river and that it might end up in a lake or the ocean while understanding our own flow is a non-stop mystery of guesswork, or so it seems. We, too, are flowing, flowing into a life that will end up in a metaphorical ocean of all life that has been. If this feeds the life of what is yet to be, that is left beyond the horizon of my comprehension as I can only take the perspective of where I am from the place I’m at in the current of any given moment. What I do know is that I’m still in constant motion; I’ve not pulled up to the edge of the stream trying to delay where I’m going because stopping my travels would risk being absorbed by the thirsty desert, or I might simply evaporate. Either way, my journey will have ended prematurely and so I must keep going and going.

Salt Creek off Highway 127 south of Shoshone, California

If you thought you were going to read about desolation and our travels into nothingness, you must be the naive type of person who’s convinced themself that something like nothing is even possible. I’m not here to offer affirmation about your shortsighted delusions; you should stick to your couch/computer chair, where electronic media are the wildflowers that talk to your soul. We refuse to wallow in pity for the things we cannot see and do or can’t afford as we take off driving into the biggest adventures ever offered to humanity. Sure, one could point out the obvious that this is no Paris, Kilimanjaro, Everest, or Hawaii, but that would be silly because we went somewhere better; we traveled in love, looking for beauty found in everything we looked at.

Shoshone, California

It was 16 years ago when we first pulled into the Shoshone Inn just a few miles outside of Death Valley National Park, and since that time, we always make an effort to stay here. Are these luxury accommodations? Heck no, at least not to what others might think, but for the two of us, this is the height of luxury. First of all, it’s about half the price of a room in the park. Secondly, the Crowbar Cafe & Saloon is across the street, and although they don’t open until 8:00 in the morning, they are open until 9:00 p.m., so no matter what time we leave the park, the Crowbar is going to be cooking our dinner. But this doesn’t touch on the most important aspect of staying here, and that’s the soaking pool nearby. You see, this pool is no ordinary resort pool. It is a concrete enclosure fed by a nearby hot spring with water in a temperature range of 100°F to 104°F (38°C to 40°C) year-round.

Shoshone, California

Do not look for gourmet food at the Crowbar, but then again, who’d ever think a place with this name would feature that type of cuisine? We are not into this for a culinary experience; for those desiring that experience, check out The Inn in Death Valley, where you can dine on a $150-a-person meal before retiring to your $400-a-night room. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but we want something more, considering the harsh nature of the place we are visiting.

Shoshone Hot Spring near Death Valley, California

After our patty melts made of rusty nails and lizard cheese, we headed up the dark, dark road to the hot spring pool where the acidic waters flowing out of Death Valley scoured four layers of skin off our aging bodies, making us look 11.5 years younger. About these waters, one should consider that they are likely remnants of ancient lakes fed by the intermittent Amargosa River that once flowed into Lake Manley in Death Valley and Lake Tacopa near Shoshone before seeping into nearby aquifers. The research that has me writing this inspires thoughts of a quick return to the area again this year to trace the flow of the Amargosa near Beatty while trying to piece together the history of this part of Death Valley. Time to crawl into our bed made of plywood and snuggle up under the World War II-era wool blanket, as we call it a night of roughing it here in the desolation of absolutely nowhere.

Oregon to Arizona – Day 11

John Wise and Caroline Wise in Eugene, Oregon

I’ll never know you, creepy passenger in seat 2A, but someday, an artificial intelligence algorithm will identify you and tell your descendants that it found an old photo of you, and they’ll see you peering our way to see what we were photographing which was nothing more than us on a plane out of Eugene, Oregon.

Flying over California

Last night as I was checking in for our flight, we were offered an upgrade out of peasant class, where the likes of us belong, to sit among royalty for only $92 a person extra. We couldn’t turn down this bargain as our checked bag was now included, we were among the first dozen to board the plane, and we’d certainly have overhead bin space. While waiting for the cattle to load, we were offered coffee fitting our new status with promises of more luxuries to come as soon as the curtain was closed between us and “them.” Once in the air, our three-course white-glove breakfast service was brought out with silver dining utensils. When this part of the formalities was finished, there was nothing left to do but for Caroline to kick back and enjoy her mid-air pedicure.

Flying over California

Eleven days ago, flying over California on our way to Oregon, shamefully, as just two more cows in peasant class, I cracked open Bruno Latour’s After Lockdown. I was certain I’d finish it while out on the coast, but it turned out that I never found a moment to read even one more sentence. As we were taxiing this morning, I was struggling to write legibly, but as soon as I put a period to this paragraph, I’ll be turning back to the book to see where he takes his ideas on metamorphosis.

Flying over Arizona

Providing size comparison that the earth is merely 0.14% the weight compared to the weight of energy the sun emits, Latour posits that, in effect, we live in a thin biolayer of existence much like a termite, though we’ve tricked ourselves into believing we have the autonomy to go where we want. Lockdown thus turned us into the termite and changed our perception of who and what we are.

Flying over Arizona

If women and earth are feminine and men and the universe are masculine regarding our species’ evolution so far, when will we recognize the need for more humans to be caregivers and nurturers? This need to have men accept roles that have traditionally been female roles will change the way men see themselves. Maybe we are already seeing this change.

Flying over Lake Pleasant in Arizona

That’s Lake Pleasant out there, which is at the edge of Phoenix, meaning we are almost home. Time to close that chapter from Latour and put the Oregon coast behind us before settling into a long slog of trying to document another incredible vacation.

In Love – All Day, Everyday!

Cambria, California

We easily remember transgressions, one-liners, and bad jokes but try to remember the crashing waves at dawn, a sunset of purple-orange gold, or the sound of a bird chirping as it glides over a river. Try to see in your mind’s eye the pelican’s wing flirting with the ocean, the smile of a best friend no longer part of the world, or the voice of someone who told you they loved you many years ago.

Cambria, California

It is only through words that any of these things live on and are able to be recalled and then shared with others.

Cambria, California

Writing is the exercise that all who claim to be human and have meaningful experiences should be practicing, else these precious moments are as easily lost as the last wave that crashed ashore and is now gone forever.

Cambria, California

Carving names and dedications on trees and benches, drawing them on rocks and walls, attaching locks to cables, bridges, and branches, we try to leave something that offers a kind of permanence that we or someone we’ve loved has been here.

Cambria, California

Leaving a symbol so that we might return someday and find it still there is full of hope that someone should stay in our hearts and memories well into the future. Maybe more of our lives should be spent practicing writing our stories in order to give a larger space to the meaning of the moments that inspire us to not forget those we’ve loved and the special places we’ve shared with them.

Cambria, California

To that end, I must share how I smile at Caroline standing at the cliff’s edge, looking over at me and the small amount of fog between us. She smiles at me and then returns to watching the sea. When pelicans pass by I know she’s taking mental note if they are flying in a V formation overhead or as a string following one another over the waves. My wife is certainly aware that as the morning sky brightens with hints of pink, blue, and a pale gray due to the late summer fog that’s rolling in, the sun crawling over the horizon will be making dramatic changes to the entire scene. To her left, waves have started to capture the first rays of direct sunlight; we are seconds away from seeing the sun for ourselves.

In the transition zone between night and day, there are a few others out here: some dog walkers, another photographer, and the surfers who were here before all of us. The waves grow larger in the advancing day, the fog thickens, and we must get going as nobody gets to linger forever.

Cambria, California

Just one more moment, one more walk to take a seat before the seas and gaze at all that must remain unknown. At night, we’ll do the same as we ponder the void and countless stars that will never warm our brief existence. Though we may never visit the bottom of the sea or a distant planet, storytellers have the ability to bring us places that remain out of reach for most people. When we write our own story, we have a reference point to revisit later in life. The adventures of our younger lives become the narrative of that long-forgotten self whose journey was possibly vastly different than that of the person approaching their sunset years.

Cambria, California

There may come a day we find ourselves sitting at a favorite place by the shore, missing the other who had shared our smiles, joy, and gaze of amazement as we dream of what adventures might still lay ahead. Look out there, out into the distance, and then try to pull it all within you. None of it will stay long as the next horizon beckons, but you should leave yourself and others these breadcrumbs of memories upon the page; one distant day, they might just bring delight to someone looking to remember their time at the seaside when they were lost in love and wonder.

Cambria, California

We must turn to writing in the same way we each care for our own physical health: by exercising. Just as the bird flies as a large part of its nature, humanity uses words for all that we do, and yet we most often simply satisfy ourselves with how we verbally express ourselves, even to the point of being oblivious of our own poverty of vocabulary. At my age, approaching a stage of late-life maturity, I still see the fledgling wordsmith trying to master the flight of narrative that might one day glide effortlessly as birds do over the ocean. The truth is that strength is an evolving asset that must be cultivated on a regular basis, or the skill will atrophy.

Cambria, California

I’ve learned over time that the same might be said about our ability to see and that far too many people are blind while their eyes are still perfectly functional; only their minds have taken their sight away. Truth and beauty may be subjective, but the desire to paint the world as unworthy or digging deep to find truth too demanding is the domain of the human returning to the animal or, worse, a kind of death. To be present, we must be alive and vibrant, riding in on waves and gliding into our potential but can the majority of us bring this idea or reflections to the page? Pride in driving a car, owning a home, and winning a game, are surrogates of distraction to knowing one’s self. When you write, you codify your thoughts and risk exposing that you possess a great inability to articulate thoughts deeper than the thickness of skin, able to tolerate the ridicule of yet being stupid. Writing makes you vulnerable; hence, the majority avoids it.

Cambria, California

But one day, you will be gone. Who might remain that could have enjoyed exploring the depths of the person they want to keep on remembering? What about children, great-grandchildren, or future relatives a couple of hundred years from now interested in looking into the history of their lineage? Who among us wouldn’t treasure the diary of a distant family member writing of their time, surviving in a world so vastly different than the one in which we find ourselves? Our age makes this capturing of fragments so simple, allowing me to sit here in front of the page exploring the brief experiences Caroline and I have so we may never need to sit alone after one of us takes permanent leave.

Cambria – All Day!

Cambria, California

After our intense 16-hour day yesterday, we skipped setting an alarm, but our internal clocks didn’t seem to appreciate the effort to sleep in as we woke shortly after 6:00 anyway. We looked out our hotel door over to the ocean and while there was plenty of light out there, the sun itself was yet to appear. The same might be said about us getting ourselves out on the other side of said door as we sat in the room reading and writing. At any moment, I’m certain one of us will take the initiative to shower and it’ll be in the middle of that when the sun barges through a window and has us feeling lazy.

Now aware that we might miss the greatest sunrise ever, I get to the adulting and get this ship of Wise underway. Because I know readers are looking for the smaller details, I’ll overshare by letting you know that just seconds prior, I had doffed my drawers and was heading to the shower when Caroline pulled her head up from her searching for English words related to weaving in her quest to translate some things for her friend Claudia and told me she was just about to do the same. Shooting her some side-stink eye, I turned around and put those still warm and slightly funky underwear back on because who wants to sit their bare ass on a hotel chair? I got back to writing. Later, when Caroline gets to editing this post, she’ll be wishing she’d let me go shower instead of adding this little tidbit regarding my musky nethers in need of washing being aired out here on these pages. Oh good, she’s already turning off the water right before I start in on describing my bowel movement.

Cambria, California

From my butthole, we head out for breakfast which is a short 1/2-mile walk north along the ocean. Yeah, I, too, am hoping my chocolate starfish, or the more politically correct Fudgy Seastar, does not become a theme for this beautiful day.

Caroline Wise knitting in Cambria, California

Breakfast at the Oceanpoint Ranch Canteen was finished, but our coffee was still hot, so why not sit a while, knit, read, write, and sip that coffee for a while longer? Our plan, or lack of a plan, with nothing etched in stone or even drawn in the shifting sands, was as amorphous as my occasionally missing maturity. We could drive up the coast attempting to find the one spot we’ve not been a dozen or more times before (not to imply we wouldn’t enjoy it all over like it was the first time), but sitting here in the cool 63-degree sea air (17c) with me writing and Caroline working on those socks using the yarn from our trip to Rügen, Germany, last year, also by the sea, it starts to feel like we should have a down day. Why not just stroll along the beach, grab more coffee, and return to the Moonstone Grill for lunch while incorporating more of this post-breakfast activity? That sounds perfect, and it’ll be just what we do.

Cambria, California

Across the street to the boardwalk and trail that we’ll follow to the north, further than we’ve ever traveled on this path. For unknown reasons, we never made it this far on our visit last year. Then again, I could be forgetting things, but to the best of our collective memories, this is our first time right here.

Cambria, California

How could we have missed this beach?

Caroline Wise in Cambria, California

We’ve traveled this 100-mile length of coast more times than most Californians ever will, and still we are enchanted by this opportunity to be here again and again regardless of the effort or cost. That we are still able to stumble upon places that we’d somehow missed might baffle us, but we explore them and the familiar sights like they were all found during our first visit here. It’s as though living in a desert prepares your senses with a kind of sterilization process to see the vibrancy in the verdant world where everything is new all over again.

Cambria, California

While we are not looking for jade here on Moonstone Beach, as we are looking for moonstones, of course, that doesn’t mean Caroline won’t pick up the nicer examples of some pretty jade and share them with me. Many years ago, we owned a rock tumbler and used it exactly zero times, and ultimately handed it off to Goodwill. Trying to find the balance between hoarding, collecting, and not getting to attached to things, we do our best to fight impulses to have it all, but as I just looked at new tumblers over on Amazon for only about $100 I can’t help but want to nudge Caroline into getting another one we can store in our closet unused for 5 or 10 years before giving it away too.

Cambria, California

Regarding this photo, I took no notes while out on the coast and so I’m in Phoenix right now trying to find what I’d like to say about it. On my headphones here at Starbucks, I’m listening to Max Richter’s On The Nature Of Daylight, looking for an emotional context to paint the right image, but even with some of the most beautiful music I can find to help inspire me after I’ve left a place, it’s not always easy to find meaningful words that might accompany a photo I found worthwhile to share but difficult to write about. Such is the nature of beauty.

Caroline Wise in Cambria, California

Went as far as we could before realizing that we could sprint around a corner and that if the tide came up, we could return by the road on our right-hand side. What you might not see with clarity is that Caroline is walking on pebbles instead of sand, rock hounds paradise over here and the place where she hopes to collect a solid half a dozen moonstones to take home with us.

Cambria, California

So there we were, all by ourselves, on a private beach of sorts due to the circumstances of nobody else being here, aside from lots of birds. Why no one else is here is a mystery; it’s Labor Day, a holiday, and there’s not a soul unless these feathered friends have souls. Is everyone else bolting home already? And was there ever an everyone else out here? Guilty admission time, yes, for photographic purposes I triggered this seagull blizzard that I’ll from here forward refer to as a “gullard.”

Cambria, California

There’s the matter of a lone surfer, but he’s out in the waves, seemingly content to float alone and enjoy the moment of solitude, not appearing to offer a care about riding the many waves that pass under him. I suppose the same might be said for us as we have an entire beach of sand, and Caroline even found a pink bucket, yet we are not building sand castles.

Cambria, California

It all looks so well laid out, somewhat permanent, really based on the ice plants behind the bleached driftwood, but the reality is that one storm will roll in and redesign everything. So the truth might be that we have been on part of this beach before, entering from the northern end, but on that visit, the configuration was so different that today, we recognize nothing other than the joy of being here.

Cambria, California

Not feeling like we’d walked enough, we continued right past the stairs that brought us down here and around another corner at what appeared to be the south end of how far we could go, but again, we could pass easily enough. Ah, there are stairs down there, so we can go back up the cliffside on those.

Cambria, California

Nope, that wasn’t going to work unless we were about to start entertaining a latent death wish due to the surf cutting between us and the other side where the stairs promised us a path to lunch. Maybe we could have gotten there, but a vertical cliff with what might be a precarious trail to some young bucks screamed at us who are full of age-instilled wisdom with brains that measure the rocks with jagged edges and consider our buoyancy factor determining that if we enter that rollicking water, there were hints of serious injury if not total annihilation.

Caroline Wise in Cambria, California

Are you sure that’s the best place to grab a seat to rinse your feet before putting those sandals back on?

Cambria, California

Finally, off our private beach walk and four miles later, we see that our path is going to take us right over to the Moonstone Grill for some seaside grub. How it became this late is one of those great unanswered questions, as it felt like we just left breakfast. Caroline insinuates that we’ve been lollygagging.

To celebrate such dawdling, Caroline raised a toast with a Manhattan and set in for an extended lunch of resting our feet and senses as just how much ocean can one take in at a time. From previous experience, we knew that no matter what we had for lunch, a dessert was going to be had, and it was the ice cream with hot Oregon berries because, oh yeah. After this indulgence, it was time for more sounds and visions of the sea, and that boardwalk across the street was beckoning.

Cambria, California

Caroline coined a new term today; feel free to Google it after I share it, as it simply never existed before today and will be published for the first time in history right here on this blog. The word, with a drum roll, is “pelicanado.” It describes the masses of pelicans that fly in to drop down to the sea where a bunch of other birds has gathered, as there must be a school of fish below that they are feasting on. As waves approach, the pelicans scramble out of the water (not always successfully), returning to the air but circling back around just to dive bomb right back to where they were feeding. Well, she’s right; it looks like a pelican tornado, a.k.a. pelicanado. Regarding my summation about the school of fish or if this was a social gathering, I willingly admit a total ignorance in the way of pelicaning.

Cambria, California

A young couple sitting at the seashore, they are us, we were them. There were others before them, and others will follow. For the moments we sit there, we are the first and only to see exactly what it is we are witnessing, and these times influence who we are beyond the minutes we’ll take up the bench and claim it as our own. Putting into words what we’ve taken in and shared with our minds and imaginations is as impossible as teasing apart the sand from the surf and sky, and yet we’ll sit there knowing that we are somehow in love with more than the person on our side.

Cambria, California

After walking the length of the beach, this is, in fact, the end, we headed over to some stairs away from the hot sand to find a bunch of benches, a pool, some massive barbecue facilities, and other amenities such as nice cool shady trees here at Shamel Park. A break was just what we needed.

Cambria, California

Somehow, it’s approaching 4:00 in the afternoon, and it feels as though we’ve done a bunch of nothing or, again, in Caroline’s parlance, we’ve been honing our lollygagging skills. Unable to do a thing while we sat doing nothing, we tried rubbing our two brain cells together to muster a plan and realized we needed coffee like pelican need fish. It was awful nice just remaining at our picnic table, planted under the cool canopy sheltering us from the now oppressive sun. The sea breeze wafts over us at a pleasant 72 degrees, and our only complaint might be that we can’t take some with us tomorrow when we point the car towards home. Realizing these perfect conditions, I don’t believe anyone could blame us for this momentary proclivity into zero action and total laziness.

Surfing in Cambria, California

Eyes are heavy by the time we reach our hotel, where the car is parked. We have two options for that coffee, with the second one closing in an hour; it’s the one we’re going to. It’s called the French Corner Bakery. On the way over, I called ahead to Robin’s International Restaurant, where we have a reservation for 8:00, to see if we can move it up to 6:00, no problem. We sit down for our coffees after meeting Justin, the guy behind the counter, and start a nice chat with him instead of doing much writing or knitting.

As the bakery is about to close, we only have to walk a short way across the street, and we’ll be at Robin’s. Our original dinner date was to ensure we’d be on hand for sunset, as we just love sunsets. So now we might miss our cherished moments as the sun dips below the horizon, but we’re practical enough to know that we can’t have it all. Then again, maybe dinner goes by quicker than anticipated and we’ll be back on the other side of Highway 1 before dark. This being our last night out, if we weren’t satisfied with things yet, this trip would have been for naught as you can’t capture perfection in the last hours of a multi-day trip.

Sunset in Cambria, California

Maybe we skipped dinner? Not a chance; we simply didn’t dilly-dally. We got down to business and felt that we’d just have to get back to the ocean for one of these moments of golden glistening ocean and warm orange sky.

Sunset in Cambria, California

Since when was one photo enough when 3 or 4 can better get the point across because choosing one was impossible?

Caroline Wise and John Wise in Cambria, California

Selfies of Caroline and me are obviously not as frequently shared as images of her because I’m the one behind the camera. At some point down the road this or last year, Caroline had said she didn’t feel we were taking enough so I’ve made the effort to get us to pose for these more often. To this end, I scrolled back through the blog this year; 17 pages with seven posts per page took quite a long time, as I’ve probably shared thousands of images this year for Mexico alone. Anyway, it looks like I’m fairly well represented on these pages, though I think I could share more photos of me with my hair out for the mad scientist look.

Sunset in Cambria, California

And this, as they say, is that. The end.

Aquarium, Coast, and Whales – All Day!

There was no sleeping in today; we were out at the first moment the sun peeked over the distant horizon. Golden light spilled into the sky, accompanied by a blinding streak of white slicing over Monterey Bay. Over in Germany, some of our family are spending this Sunday together for their annual September reunion. Over WhatsApp, they share smiling faces; we share a view of the rising sun over the Pacific.

Strangely, there are only about a dozen of us out here for the start of the day, well, us people, the pelicans, some seagulls, a few others, and a splashing seal putting on an acrobatics show. The sound of the surf and birds don’t appear to offer the local group of women exercising under the trees enough of a background, so they’ve brought a soundtrack the rest of us can listen to as we pass by. The same goes for some of the walkers and runners who somehow don’t think that they might be disturbing others who prefer to listen in on the natural environment.

We move away to find another beautiful spot under the riot of nature, unpolluted by the ugliness of our fellow humans. Once we’ve basked in the cleansing light of the sun but not yet burned to a crisp, we’ll need coffee to wash off the grime of disdain for the rude people around us. That’s right, we bathe in boiling coffee before trying to drown in it. And where does this ablution occur this morning? At the Red House Café on 19th and Lighthouse. Any ill will towards others that I might have gathered was temporarily kicked to the side as a father passed by with a baby and a toddler in a stroller and their dog in tow. The toddler excitedly announced to us and everybody in earshot that he’d just seen a fungus. That four-year-old boy was serious about how amazing the sight of a real live fungus was, and if that enthusiasm isn’t able to put a smile on someone’s face, nothing will. Not to imply that I’m not generally happy, but I cannot turn off my annoying trait of always paying attention to others, something at which Caroline is coolly adept.

The day had started to resemble yesterday as we were the first in line again and we found ourselves at the same table on the patio, only I order something different while Caroline opted for the yummy frittata again. Last year, when we first ate here, Caroline pointed out how unbelievable it was that we were now sitting here on the cafe’s sunlit porch while on our earlier visits to Pacific Grove, we wouldn’t have wanted to afford the place nor join the line. By the way, this patio and house is not where we ate breakfast; it was just a nice little bungalow on our way there.

Back to the similarities between days: we’ll walk away from the Red House Cafe after our breakfast for a return visit to the aquarium. I’m fairly sure, though, that it will be like visiting for the first time as all the swimming creatures in the cold seawater tanks will have reorganized themselves just for our time among them. Of course, I’ll be taking plenty of photos to prove this. Not that this matters, but I’d like to point out that I’m not, in fact, ignoring Caroline right now as I write these musings as she’s practicing her texting-fu chatting with her German bestie, Claudia. Not only are they communicating across the oceans as Claudia is somewhere in Europe, but my wife is smiling like a loon from time to time. The reason I can’t be sure about Claudia’s whereabouts is that she and her significant other seem to vacation as much as we do if not more. [Nobody we know vacations as much as we do, I reckon. – Caroline]

The parallel universe of coincidence again sees us walking the water’s edge to the aquarium. Is it the exact same time we are arriving for the 9:30 members-only opening, or is it slightly earlier or later?

Once inside, a glitch derails our move to the always-beckoning Kelp Forest, and instead, we are drawn to the Open Sea to experience the jellyfish all for ourselves. Not content to just have my photographs and potentially nonsensical blog posts, Caroline saw the opportunity to bring videos of the jellies home with her.

Was our time among the jellies two minutes, or was it a half-hour? It’s hard to tell now that we’ve learned that these gelatinous Medusozoas warp time with their tentacled ancient arm things. After more than 500 million years they’ve evolved to a level of sophistication that allows them to live in a timeless infinity, pulsing through an ocean traveling forever; that, or they lay in wait to sting a hapless human to death.

After our psychedelic jelly encounter, Caroline needed to maintain the visual intensity, and what other than laying down under a school of sardines could come close?

Try as I might, I cannot understand just why the hammerhead shark evolved with its eyes so far away from its body. What kind of wicked sensing system is in that crossbar that holds eyes that cannot possibly see what it’s about to eat? I should probably do a little bit of searching before making such assumptions, as it turns out that hammerheads have 360-degree vision thanks to their peculiarly shaped heads. Combine that kind of vision with the old ampullae of Lorenzini, and I’m growing increasingly certain that the ocean is stuffed chock full of aliens.

I’m noticing a trend with animals that sport some level of transparency, such as man-killing jellies. These predatory tunicates are able to swallow whole scuba divers who approach too closely. I know they don’t look that big, but that’s because we are looking at them through rearview mirrors, so we can see their immense size in such tight confines found here in the aquarium.

You could wager that I’m now fearful of searching for information about the brittle stars, and I don’t mean the ones from Hollywood. First of all, I came to see that this is not what I thought it was; it is a sea star of the Brisingida family, meaning it’s a predator (hopefully not like the one from the movie). Not your ordinary sea star, of course not; this one doesn’t just filter its meals from the current of water around it. According to an NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) article, “Their spines are covered in tiny claws which act as sort of a “starfish Velcro.” Using these claws, they snag all passing life (regardless of size, I’m speculating) and then pass their meal down to their mouths using tube feet.

Here you go; it turns out that Brisingida sea stars are related to brittle stars, and before I got to the NOAA article, I opened a page from Scientific American about how brittle stars see. This won’t be good, and spoiler alert, the details are about to be shared. I’ll paraphrase here, “Their arms are loosely coordinated by a nerve ring in the animal’s core, almost like eight co-joined monster animals with a mutual interest in where to go, what to eat, and making little monster stars.” And people have the audacity to complain about paying taxes when we are able to go to a restaurant, sleep in a cozy bed, and live on land in houses instead of in this underwater world of nightmares?

Time-warping hallucination-inducing jellies, people swallowing tunicates, and now these f&%#ing hagfish. Blind and toothless, they eat the dead, from the inside no less! Not enough horror for you? They are known to suffocate other fish that try eating them by the copious amounts of slimy mucus they are able to produce; we’re talking serious bucketload amounts of the stuff that clogs the gills of the fish, and if that’s not doing the trick, they can tie themselves into an overhand knot while in the fish creating more difficulties for the idiot fish that won’t be trying to snack on this creeper again, should it survive.

Right after we return to Phoenix, I want to find out if there’s a doctor performing hagfish stem cell therapy so I can be the first man on earth with a self-lubricating slime penis.

After our encounter with the self-lubricating seaworms snarfing on death, we were psychically contacted by the flamboyant cuttlefish to pay a return visit to the salmon snailfish. How did we miss this yesterday? Their bodies are semi-transparent, which does not portend good things, and what about those mesmerizing hypnotic eyes? Oops, too late! Caroline was the first to be put in a trance by the blue-silver eye that allowed the fish to communicate to her that, as a species, they do not like their scientific name of Careproctus, which was derived from Ancient Greek where κάρα or kara translates to face and πρωκτός or prōktos is translated as anus meaning they are Butthole Faces. I want to adopt one.

Are things weird enough for you yet? Do you see those chin fins? The salmon “asshole-head” snailfish uses them to look for food in the sand as it plants itself face first on the sea floor, see photo from yesterday. By the way, you might notice its eyes are now black; that’s because this “Po-Kopf” (German technical term) has met its match with a bigger asshole-head who is stealing its powers in order to crown me King Facia-prōktos.

See that crab? Salmon snailfish are known to use them as repositories for their eggs; yep, you read that right: the fish with butt face uses king crabs parasitically by installing its eggs in the crab gills, turning them into a mobile home/incubator for their offspring. Jesus, Caroline, what are we doing here in this house of horrors?

This is the point in the aquarium where all truths gleaned from any loose-lipped Perciformes will be erased using the kinetic color pulsing living embodiment of the “Neuralyzer” as seen in Men in Black (oh my god, John, just how hypocritical are you?). Obviously, it didn’t fully work on me, and I can only surmise that my good fortune in retaining the truth about the secret marine culture that uses us for its entertainment has been left partly intact due to our particular sequence of events whereby some strange chance I took notes prior to my mind-washing and didn’t trash the crazy stuff I wrote. Trust me, I thought twice about sharing what’s in my notebooks but this is what I found there.

No, seriously, where did the first two hours of the day go? We cannot leave the aquarium without a pilgrimage to the Kelp Forest, but getting there could be problematic as we suffer from “Needtoseeitallagainitis.”

Any number of things could distract us on our journey that must conclude with finding the exit. Oh, what’s this? It’s the old boilers used here when prior to the aquarium taking over, this was a sardine cannery. Funny how, in all the years of visiting Monterey, I think this is the first time I’ve ever photographed the old sardine processing equipment near the entry.

Well, sure, that is a kelp forest out there, but we’re looking for the one with that old familiar musical accompaniment that makes us all sentimental when we listen to it at home in the weeks and months between visits (MBA Kelp Forest Live Cam).

Ah yes, the soundtrack of Jaws starts its haunting throb as the shark approaches.

And with that, we have to bid adieu to another visit to one of our favorite places ever here at the great Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Obviously, we broke free of the aquarium, which is more than any of the fish can say (not that fish say a lot, as far as we know). Though a magic sardine whispered at us that Queen Elizabeth would die in four days, but come on, how could a sardine know that?

You can trust this isn’t just some more lollygagging for the sake of wasting time; we left our car at the motel as parking anywhere near the aquarium is difficult at best and an underwater horror story at worst. Regarding this never-before-seen view of the bay, by us anyway, there’s a small passage between the Hopkins Marine Station operated by Stanford University on the left and the aquarium on the right. The white sand beach is Cabrillo Beach and appears totally inaccessible to those of us on the wrong side of the fence, which is apparently anyone not working at the research facility.

We know we are inching towards the next exit, that of leaving Pacific Grove and the Monterey Bay area. Heavy hearts weigh on empty stomachs having us consider our lunch plans. Oh no, the Mexican joint we ate at yesterday doesn’t open for lunch on Sundays! Lucky us, I called ahead to the Borg that we’d be a bit late picking up our car as we were looking to have something to eat first, and our choice of grabbing a bite at Peppers was nixed; well, the mysterious voice on the other end commanded us to go to the Monarch Pub and Restaurant for some English grub. All of a sudden, the words of the sardine were haunting me like this was some kind of foreshadowing or were the butterflies trying to message us?

Klingeling! That’s the sound a German bike bell makes and has brought me around from my fits of hallucinatory madness, which propelled this writing. Now, back in reality, I’m here thinking of that wonderful post I wrote in Germany just last year that featured 23 images of bicycle bells and some thoughts about the process of aging. You should read it if for no other reason than to cleanse the mental palate of the things drawn out of my imagination, you might have endured in the paragraphs above.

It was 3:00 when we hit Highway 1, traveling south. We were well aware that we couldn’t afford the indulgence going down the coast that we took on our way up. With only 4 and 1/2 hours of daylight remaining to our still glorious day, we’ll be measured, discriminating, and intentional about where we choose to spend our precious time under the sun.

Knowing this limitation, we hadn’t planned on the heavy traffic with two complete stops at construction sites and a serious backup at the Bixby Bridge.

We were about to sail right past Big Sur, or so was my intention, before Caroline wailed about how beautiful the view of Point Sur was, so I quickly pulled over.

Did we even make it a few miles before the view had us pulling over again? Nope, this is looking behind us from the same pullout where I photographed Point Sur, but it is beautiful that way, too; I just had to include it. Now, we’ll hit the gas and get moving, as we have a long drive ahead of us before we pull into Cambria for the night.

Oh, this is nice, but so were the other stops along the way that I’m not including in this post because I’ve already included 42 photos, and that’s simply enough, along with being the answer to the Great Question.

How had it taken us 90 minutes to get this far? The Henry Miller Library is in Big Sur. We’re hardly crawling along at a snailfish pace, but the library is open which for us is surprising as we are typically on the wrong side of the clock for a visit. This can only mean we MUST stop.

For those who don’t know, Henry Miller is considered a literary innovator and has been said to be a major influence on the original generation of Beat writers. His works were banned in the United States for many years, likely due to the sexual content. When I was in my early 20s, I tried reading Tropic of Cancer and Sexus, and neither title gelled with me; they are now long gone. As I cannot deny his influence nor the respect I have for an author who inspires so many other writers, it was fitting that we’d take this opportunity to stop in and even support the place.

While I feel my interest in the Beats has passed, and I read On The Road by Jack Kerouac many years ago, I’d never read his book titled Dharma Bums, and so that was my title of choice today. We didn’t have a lot of time to make choices as we’d arrived shortly before they were closing. Caroline chose Straits: Beyond the Myth of Magellan about, you guessed it, Ferdinand Magellan. This is a beautiful little bookshop full of interesting titles for those interested in alternatives outside the mainstream books that are not typically carried by the dominant big box store.

Leaving the library and enjoying the art and grounds here next to Highway 1, a fully naked, bubbly young lady flutters by as if this might be how she goes about life every day. I keep my camera aimed at this old typewriter as I must control my creepy old man persona trying to escape.

Not 10 miles down the road, the massive view beckons, and we easily oblige, but it’s okay as we are getting close to the halfway point to Cambria at a mere 55ish miles down that way or so. Caroline had already gotten back in the car, and I was about to do the same when something caught my eye.

A spout of water is what flashed into my peripheral vision, and not two seconds later, a whale breached. Yelling at Caroline to jump back out, she was soon next to me. Not only did the two of us see the breach, but the crack that followed was amazing, too. The lens I was using is obviously not ideal for capturing whales more than 2,000 feet away from shore and maybe 150 feet below us, but that’s what I had. I took a lot more photos than this, as we witnessed several breaches in a row, but this was the best one. I also photographed them spouting, but from this distance, those plumes look like tiny, rather unspectacular white splashes.

We sat here a good while, waiting to see the pod surface again and hoping for more breaching, but it wasn’t on the menu of events that blew minds on this great day. Well out of sight, was a barking seal that likely wasn’t breaching. As we continued south, we saw more pods spouting in the distance, but taking photos of them didn’t work out; the memories were terrific enough.

Here we go stopping again as we saw more spouting. No seals within earshot, but we did see some pelicans and some old architectural thing. That’s the Big Creek Bridge built back in 1938, just a few miles north of Lucia Lodge, which is also about the halfway point between Pacific Grove and Cambria.

Now, on the next stop for even more whales and some excited Germans looking for wildlife. While the distant cetaceans spouted there would be no breaching, we left quite satisfied I hope the Germans were too.

There comes a point in time when, as daylight is slipping away, my mind goes to work on the geometry of what lies ahead, where we want to be, and the position of the sun in the sky. There’s no reason to be in a less-than-optimal place for sunset, so we have to pace ourselves; hence, this stop to sprawl before it all.

This photo is only here as a reminder that while traveling Highway 1, there is not only the ocean side of things. Not sure you can see it but there’s a house in the center of the image and something like an artists workshop cabin on the right.

This looks promising, but I think there’s better, so we keep going.

But not before I snap this perfect photo of Caroline smiling in the golden late day light on a curvy coastal road with a background of pampas grass, little fluffy clouds, the moon, and sea while wearing her Mayan motorcyclist t-shirt picked up from Taller Leñateros in San Cristobal, Mexico, earlier this year. What a life.

The last stop during daylight hours, as this is the place we’ll watch the sunset. It has vibes of “best spot” to me. We crawled under some barbed wire and stepped onto some crumbling coastline to find the position that would be just right for this curtain call.

We’re still about 20 minutes from Cambria and were not leaving this spot before that sun fully disappears from view. It is Sunday night, and not sure what restaurants will still be open after 8:00. We opt for a poor excuse for a Mexican place in San Simeon, but who cares when we’ve been feasting on all the wonderful sights found on another perfect day?

Monterey Bay Aquarium – All Day!

We missed the exact moment of sunrise because old, as in “the old people” we’ve become. That’s not altogether true, and if anyone is familiar with every word I’ve written here (which even I am not), you’d know that we do not sleep well on our first night out so we had some catching up to do. We still woke at 6:00, but silly me rolled out of bed and started prepping yesterday’s photos instead of taking myself to the shower right away. So Caroline ventured out our front door here at Borg’s Motel, hunting for an image that would open today’s post; this is that photo.

Why we haven’t stayed at the Borg before is a mystery. Maybe we just assumed it would be too pricey due to its oceanfront location? It looks like we’ll be here again before the year’s out, as I have my sights set on Monterey for a return visit, possibly around Christmas time, in order to maximize our aquarium membership.

Now, on to the exciting stuff, such as our walk to the Red House Cafe, as previous experience had us wanting to return. It doesn’t open till 8:00, but we remembered the long wait times of those who don’t arrive early. Twenty minutes before the hour, we are the first in line, but within a few minutes, there are more than a dozen of us waiting at the corner.

I’m carrying a new paper notebook this morning, and after nabbing a pen from a server before the cafe opened, I was able to start taking notes, a luxury I shouldn’t forget. Regarding the origins of my newest writing tool, we picked it up yesterday after Caroline was drawn to it, likely because of that big old snail on it. We were at the Phoenix Gift Shop below Nepenthe Restaurant in Big Sur, looking for eucalyptus soap and whatever else might catch our eye. A pen is what should have caught mine, but I honestly thought this notebook would go home with us without me ever placing a single mark in it. I was wrong.

Our orders were put in, with both of us opting for the Red House frittata. While we wait, we sip our coffees and enjoy the lemon water while Caroline is working on my next pair of socks with yarn from our trip to Rügen, Germany, and, obviously, I’m writing. All this while listening to nearby shorebirds and the clank of pots, pans, and dishes in the busy kitchen. The sun streams in on us here on the patio as Sinatra’s crooning voice wafts in over the speakers.

This was our after-breakfast morning dessert for the eyes, found while walking next to the Monterey Bay to the aquarium. While the views found here are familiar to us, they are not so familiar that we’ve grown weary of them and can easily pass without being distracted. For that reason, Caroline had suggested we walk through the neighborhood up from the shore so we’re not inclined to ogle things and arrive late for our early entry, a benefit for members.

We were about 15 minutes early for the 9:30 early opening and were not the first in line. I should have heeded that note on the aquarium’s website that said that this holiday weekend is one of the busiest for this seaside treasure. The line across from us over in the sun is general admission that doesn’t get started for another 45 minutes. When the doors open, we move quickly with proof of membership and identification through the entry, and before even reaching the Kelp Forest, always our first stop, the massive volume of water all around us is already tugging at Caroline’s tear ducts, pulling at the tenderest of her romantic emotions.

The big draw of this particular pilgrimage to the Holy Aquarium of St. Monterey is their new exhibit titled Into The Deep which just opened earlier this year. I want to admit some disappointment as the newest exhibit relies heavily on displays that depict the environment instead of offering the actual sea life, or so I thought. I understand the inherent expense associated with getting and maintaining living specimens out of the deep, but it was what I was expecting. The reliance on video makes sense when you consider that most people acquire the majority of their information from such sources and so I have to understand that this is what must resonate with them.

Once past that mixed media onslaught, we move into the living displays that have me thinking that I might have been too quick to judge.

There is little in the way of knowledge that might help me appreciate what is nearly incomprehensible for my senses to come to terms with when witnessing psychedelic lifeforms. After the fact, I might enjoy learning about their biology, habitat, and history as we know it, but initially, I just want to take them in, seeing them for the first time in much the same way as the person exploring the ocean’s depths encountered them.

Wonder easily springs from being on hand to see the unknown becoming seen and imagining what its form or purpose might mean. Then again, how could we ever really understand any of that when we cannot fathom what our own place here on a planet means? I’m not talking of those afraid of the unknown, uncertainty, and being alone; they must gravitate towards hard answers typically found in religion. I’m speaking of those who are interested in reality and their place in it, where their own freakish appearance is as peculiar as this comb jelly and possibly just as meaningful or meaningless.

On its way to hunting for food, the salmon snailfish looks like a candle flame as it presses its face into the sea floor, feeling for crustaceans using its fins on its chin. At times, I feel the arrogance of our human species as we see these creatures as lesser things, but what if we were to learn that in each of the lesser creatures, we find the embodiment of our gods? Would we be so cavalier about polluting their environment, allowing them to spoil once we’ve sacrificed their lives because we didn’t consume them in time, or treating them in some undignified way? By placing our idea of god in a distant invisible being, we are free to act irresponsibly as long as we walk a fine line determined by some doctrine or other, ask for forgiveness, or pray. In this way, everything, including people, are not much more than things that can be used as a means to an end as long as we accept that salvation is a part of this existence. In a sense, we have a license to be despicable while through our supposed intelligence, we do not have the means to reconcile this ugly contradiction of our somewhat grotesque existence.

Sealife does not practice religion, philosophy, law, or financial segregation, but what does that have to do with visiting an aquarium? While you might think I come to the aquarium with a mind primed to celebrate the experience, I cannot help but imagine that in their natural habitats, without the influence of man, most other life moves towards a kind of equilibrium regarding resources. Darwinism is certainly at work among all species, but it is the false constructs of a controlling and manipulating culture failing to use its supposed vast knowledge to build a more balanced use and distribution of resources not based on total annihilation that floats into my mind. This spiny crab, on the other hand, portends no hint that it is coming to take something from us; it does not flaunt violence, stupidity, or superiority. We, though, are able to bring an abundance of just that to almost every corner of our planet and each other.

The number of people here loudly exhibiting their television knowledge is a horror show in its own right. So many things are being compared to what they’ve seen on TV at some point or other. It is astonishing that so little is appreciated for its beauty, complexity, or how it inspires their curiosity, but how much it all relates to memories taken from what we used to call the Idiot Box. I’ve never watched Stranger Things, but I now know that some plurality of those here today is very familiar with something they are referring to called a Demogorgon, fuck my life.

Passing around a corner from the Into The Deep exhibit to the Tentacles exhibit (that is going away, according to some chatter I pick up here), we become better aware of just how uncomfortably packed the aquarium is. The first half hour of members, followed by the relatively slow trickling in of the unwashed horde, has to be cherished as in just a few more minutes of this, I’ll be looking to lunchtime when we take some time away.

Now, onto my bigger grump, the “urban trash” look paired with the abysmal ability to communicate with a vocabulary beyond that of a fifth grader. This is a cheese grater to my eyes and ears. What shithole of a pseudo-pretentious style emerging from a landfill did this zombie culture crawl out of, and how have they found the economic ability to be here putting their abhorrent natures on display? Did I get something wrong, and this aquarium is a cruel joke of nature that draws in the worst examples of humanity for the amusement of sealife allowing them to witness with their own eyes the dangers of evolution?

This hostility to my senses is likely unintentional on the part of those walking through here compared to my adolescent years when I put my belligerence on center stage because I hated others’ conformity. But this audible/visual hostility is an affront for no reason other than stupidity and its appearance as the fashion of the masses intended to squash my happiness. Fortunately, there are squid, octopus, jellyfish, my wife, and other life here at the aquarium that earn my appreciation for their ability to appear respectful and content to take in the better side of the spectacle all around them.

We’re about to get out of here but will need to return by 2:30 for our 3:00 date with a Behind The Scenes tour where, once again, the aquarium will be experienced at our speed. Not only will we have that, but tomorrow will also see our return early for the member entry and the calm of the first half hour as everyone else begins filtering in.

Tranquility returns as we bail out of the fish penitentiary and take a stroll over Lighthouse Avenue to Monarch Knits. While not one to mention every street nor really enjoy shopping, Lighthouse as a street name just sounds nice, and the yarn store we are going to means another new pair of socks for me.

Today’s choice of fingering weight yarn is from Hedgehog Fibres out of Iceland. It’s 90% Merino wool and 10% nylon, important for durability. The colorway is called Dragonfly, and as I’m noting these details, I’m left thinking I should have always been writing about these yarn details. We had to tend to this chore today as the yarn store is closed on Sunday.

Following a quick lunch at Peppers Mexicali Cafe, we were in need of a coffee, and PG Juice & Java, just around the corner, fit the bill and the caffeine fix. With coffee and a bag of yarn in hand, we aimed to reconnect with the Borg to leave an offering of yarn in the chamber we’d been assigned. Hopefully, someone calls me out for the hypocrisy of my lamenting of media references earlier while I’m doing exactly that with my nod to Star Trek.

With those necessities out of the way, we are afforded another walk along the ocean for our return to the aquarium. Still not tired of these spectacular views, but then how could one ever grow weary of gazing upon something or someone loved?

We arrived with plenty of time to spare before we headed to…Behind The Scenes. Yes, masks were mandatory as it appears that COVID-19 is transmissible to otters, so they are trying to keep any risk of infection from contaminating the areas where the general public is not allowed unaccompanied.

Unfortunately, our volunteer guide took ill, feeling faint early in our tour, and while staff tended to her needs, someone else picked up tour duties, and once again, we were off and exploring.

Sadly, this tour is turning out to be less than what we’d expected. Some 18 years ago in 2004, Caroline and I first experienced the tour we thought we were joining today; well, that one is long gone. Back then, we donned aprons and enjoyed a hands-on interaction where we participated and performed tasks that had us feeling like more than simple observers. Come on, guys, we can look at fish in tanks from the other side, too.

We explained to our guide how a volunteer from our group in 2004 was able to feed one of the sharks in this tank and that the group prepared food for the penguins. She had no interest in acknowledging that experience; she instead voiced her disbelief that such a thing was ever allowed here, implying our memories were unbelievable.

The guide did allow everyone to line up to feel the top of a jellyfish but, at the same time, was suggesting she was taking some small amount of risk on our behalf due to the slight bit of toxicity she might have to endure while holding the specimen. I’m feeling a bit defrauded.

True, the group walked through employee-only areas; we passed into a hallway of offices that were explained as being the fish and otter clinic, and the flow of seawater in and out of the tanks was explained to us. The tour ended here, and so did some small part of my respect for those who administer the operation; just kill this part of your offering that is half-hearted at best. Please remember, this is my perspective and not my wife’s; she’s pretty forgiving and likely fully enjoyed our time here. [Yes, I’m more forgiving, but I also couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed. For example, I’m not sure if looking at the place where shipments are received was a worthwhile part of the tour. But there were interesting spots as well. All I can say is that we were incredibly fortunate to have been able to take the tour eons ago. – Caroline]

Shortly after 4:00, we were back on the main floor and lucky us, people had already started funneling out of the aquarium for their dinner plans.

Standing here next to my best friend, I’m the one who sees Caroline looking on with a magical delight in her gaze at every fish and animal. Often, she’s wearing a smile that expresses the same enthusiasm that exists in the innocence of a child. At other times, it’s a studied seriousness that has her following a detail that obviously captured her imagination. Still, it remains in the private domain of her experience unless she calls me to her side to share in viewing the pageantry.

Flashy, dull, colorful, active, or at the edge of perception regarding any movement at all, Caroline will take the time to allow her eyes to dance over the scene, waiting patiently to maybe understand a thing, or is she somehow recording the patterns for future reference? Oh, lucky day that we were here and found this scale-sided boring piddock clam out and awake. So what did it do to elicit this exclamation of good fortune? It was in full presentation, and while not visible to our eyes, it was likely filtering water and enjoying its dinner before the lights went out for the night. This clam has something in common with the plain old sand dollar as far as Caroline is concerned, as there is nothing too languid to not interest her. I’ve watched this 54-year-old woman sit down on the floor before a tank of sand dollars and nearly worship their majesty as they do their sand dollary thing while failing to attract a following like the mighty octopus that always draws a crowd.

I’d like to share with you that there’s one thing here above all others that enchants my sweet wife, who spends the entire day here in absolute glee, but I don’t believe that’s possible as after visiting the squid and marveling at their entrancing pigment parade of shifting colors and patterns, she’s just as joyous when watching the shimmering light reflecting off of sardines.

And if someone thought that something like a blobby sea cucumber that barely moves might be the thing she could just pass by taking on a kind of blasé attitude about it, they’d be wrong. Maybe they failed to consider its color, its surface texture, its shape, or the way shifting light glides over this creature.

When I first laid eyes on Caroline, I didn’t find her attractive or interesting, not to say she was like a cross between a sand dollar and a sea cucumber, but clearly, my opinion changed. Six months later, I fell in love with her following the most delicate of kisses she immediately transformed into an ultra-beauty that captured my heart and soul. Over the course of more than 30 years that we’ve been a pair, her romantic quotient (RQ) has only grown with her keen appreciation for aesthetic sensuality to become one of the greatest attractions she employs to increase the bond that pulls me closer to her. I think that this black oystercatcher is looking at me with that knowing smile of, “You got that right.”

As from the emerald waters, so from the Emerald Tablet, we learn the quote, “As above, so below.” Maybe the lowly fish understood its mirror image or, as Jacques Lacan wrote, its Mirror Stage and recognized it was also from a world above, propelling it to walk out upon the land. That fish is surmised to be the Tiktaalik. I try to imagine this fish, some 375 million years pulling itself out of its universe using its fins in order to meet its god in a world beyond its normal existence. It was then this kernel of primitive thought encoded in the DNA of creatures that told them to look up into the heavens in order to find their maker in the ethereal light that falls down upon this great mystery.

While this sheepshead fish is far from ugly, my last paragraph has me thinking about the differences between those creatures that try to ascend and those that take refuge in the deep below. Consider that many would consider deep sea fish ugly, even going so far as calling some the ugliest monsters imaginable. Our ideas of Satan and hell are from a nether world, and the zombies that terrorize popular dystopian nightmares crawl from out of the earth below. There’s an important bit of insight we can take from this analogy: life does not improve or find beauty when it is busy descending; it must leave the darkness, the depths, and its terrestrial existence to seek higher planes of self-realization or risk becoming a monster.

Next to the otter tank here at the aquarium, I’d say watching the octopuses [yes, that is the correct plural of octopus – Caroline] when they are active might be the next most popular activity, but why? While they are from the world below, they exhibit curiosity, they are mischievous and even exhibit a kind of craftiness. They are better examples of human qualities than many of the wanna-be monsters walking these corridors. Yes, my rhetoric verges on the harsh as I seemingly want to dismiss the masses as closer to troglodytes than real humans, but this is what haunts my nightmares and version of hell. It appears to me that humanity is accepting the descent into mediocrity, ignoring that only when reaching out do we discover exquisite new heights we once thought were beyond our grasp.

Jellyfish existed in our oceans more than 500 million years ago, sharks were swimming among them 450 million years ago, trees appeared about 370 million years ago, and then frogs started croaking 263 million years before the first humans stepped upon the land. Is our supposed free will to do as we please really the pinnacle of life? Somewhere else on this blog I’ve written that I want to believe that birds have a more significant existence than most any human aside from the wealthiest of us. Birds fly, walk, swim, sing, eat for free, sing some more, procreate, parent, and soar in the clouds and just above the waves before taking refuge in their simple but free homes they typically build themselves. We, on the other hand, have all the freedom we can afford, have no idea how to build a home, hope to practice procreation, eat according to how much we earn, and are allowed to walk, swim, or fly where others permit us to.

Maybe birds are not the only masters of a domain. Jellies float effortlessly in a perfect environment well suited to the area of the sea where their individual species thrive. Obviously, they are adept at accommodating change as they have been doing their thing free of bondage and ego for 500 million years. The dinosaurs weren’t so skilled in their flexibility to survive extinction, and I’m increasingly inclined to think we are collectively too stupid to survive our own successes. Yet, I’d bet a crypto coin that many people would think of the jellyfish as one of the lowliest of creatures on our planet.

Majestic with frills and lace fringe, the jelly tumbles through their universe with nary a care as it knows better than to concern itself with the problems of man. In a sense, the jelly is a god having lent us humans part of its extraordinary DNA so that we might take form some 498 million years after having learned what it would take for its species to survive almost everything else that at one time was alive and possibly thriving on our earth. And most would react with fear at the jelly approaching them in the ocean, afraid they’ll be stung and die, and so, in turn, would rather kill this elegant lifeform just as we try doing with sharks and wolves.

It seems that we are the most barbaric of species; we are the dangerous pandemic of death, we bring the pestilence of our very being to the world around us, and then we celebrate the idea that our mythical gods will save our souls. Our souls are monsters from the depths of an evolutionary experiment that might have only been allowed in order to witness the dumbest creatures ever rise out of the primordial ooze.

Don’t get me wrong, while I may decry the handling of our current place in the order of life at this time; I’m grateful for this opportunity to have been here and been able to consider the bizarre rarity that we even came into existence. Maybe the greatest gift of aquariums, coastal roads, forest trails, riverways, and flower gardens is that we might pause and consider the hows and whys we have been offered such experiences and then act as the rational, sentient beings we claim to be. So, big thanks to the life on display here this day that played a part in making me think about how I relate to them.

There’s this moment when we’re somewhere like Disneyland, and the park is going to close in an hour, where we want to rush over to our favorite rides for one more perfect moment. Should we ride Pirates of the Caribbean, It’s a Small World, or, had it not already closed, we’d sit in for yet one more rendition put on by the birds of the Tiki Room. Well, here at Monterey Bay Aquarium, it is the exact same thing when we want to go watch the octopus or jellyfish just one more time. We want to linger at the Kelp Forest watching the sway of sealife to an old familiar piece of music that’s been playing there for decades or come stand in front of the aquarium’s biggest window and wish all the inhabitants a good night.

The sardine. They made Cannery Row here in Monterey famous, in part due to John Steinbeck’s writing of this old town on the bay that was a key supplier of the canned fish. By the 1950s, the canneries had to shut down as the fishermen were no longer able to catch enough fish for processing. Then, in 2010 the largest cannery still in operation over in Prospect Harbor, Maine, had to shut down after 135 years of operation for the same reason. From the 1950s through the early 2000s, sardines started to recover, but then overfishing reared its ugly head again, and since 2006, the Pacific population of sardines has declined by an estimated 95%. While humans might complain about lost fishing jobs and consumers might be willing to pay higher prices for sardines, the sea lions, salmon, pelicans, dolphins, and whales that depend on healthy stocks don’t care about jobs or what wealthy people might pay for a food item they depend on. If we humans don’t wake up and start acting together, first admitting to our own shortsightedness and then our petulant greed, we might ultimately be responsible for destroying what was once abundant and incredibly beautiful.

If you are wondering what single-word superlatives might describe this day, there are none that could adequately convey the breadth of our experience. The photos and my musings will have to do the majority of the heavy lifting.