Things Went Slowly

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

It’s Sunday, and we all know what that means. No, we will not be going to church, though last night, the conversation at dinner did turn to Radical Amishism it was probably more in the sense of a fashion statement than a set of principles and doctrines to live by. Oh yeah, back to Sunday. It is the end of the weekend, and we’ll be returning home today after our ever-so-brief pause out here in the ever-shrinking town of Duncan, Arizona. Before I get too far ahead of myself or gather too much distance to my obtuse reference regarding Radical Amishism, Clayton, seeing the book I’m reading, thought he’d read the title correctly until, on second glance, he saw that it is Radical Animism.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

If it were 40 years earlier and I understood back then that I didn’t require institutional validation to allow me to write, today I just might be the author of Radical Amishism because, after a quick glance into my imagination and a minor amount of consideration, I’d be down with it. I’d have picked up where Edward Abbey left off with Desert Solitaire, taking some of his ideas into the eastern farmlands of the United States where a radical band of Amish farmers becomes psilocybin mushroom growers, working with Humphry Osmond to change the toxic psychological profile of America following the harmful influence of Ayn Rand and her brand of success regardless of cost. But this is a silly exercise that will go nowhere as my flight of fancy is nothing more than a tactic to distract myself from having to write about why I like the light fixtures in the hallway of the hotel against an antique ceiling.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Had I invested a bit more in that machination, maybe I’d have had enough material to cascade past the previous photo to fall under this photo of the coatrack, which stands in the corner of the Library Room we have occupied. The truth is that there is nothing of real interest in capturing this other than there were qualities of light I was enjoying and a hint of an idea that the small details in the room that are not defining attributes of the place might allow granular memories of our time here that couldn’t be had with a greater overview captured in a previous visit.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Soon, a gourmet refection will be presented that will inch us closer to the conclusion of our time of intentional languishing where we were someplace other than home. While we’ll be leaving at some point after noon, our state of mind of being elsewhere will continue as the abundance of wildflowers we’d seen on the drive out will have us gawking along the way to capture yet more memories of the rare occasions when their bursts of color carpets the landscape.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Not only do the enticing aromas of our evolving meal waft from the kitchen so do the sounds of Piano Sonata No. 3 in B Minor from Chopin as it keeps time with the old clock ticking off the seconds of the day here in the parlor. That clock just might be part of the allure, but so might the concerted effort to romanticize the simultaneous simplicity and sophistication of our moments spent among the ghosts of another time.

Let us return to this idea of a refection. You might have been wondering if I’d found this word in the thesaurus, and that is exactly where it came from. I originally wrote “repast,” but on my third reading, it felt a bit too archaic, and I didn’t want to use “meal” for the sixth time in this post. Looking for an alternative, I came across this word that was new to me. The dictionary defines refection as a refreshment by food or drink, but wait, there’s more. In zoology, this word describes partly digested fecal pellets. As one not familiar with such an idea, ChatGPT came to the rescue to inform its humans that:

Partially digested fecal pellets are usually found in animals that have a digestive system that requires them to eat their feces. For example, rabbits eat their feces as it is an important part of the digestive process. Rabbits’ digestive systems can’t extract all the nutrients from food the first time it is digested. During the digestion process, soft pellets called cecotropes are formed. Termites are another example of animals that produce fecal pellets. 

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Can you guess where this goes next? My follow-up book to the 1983 bestseller Radical Amishism was Refection Recipes of the Radical Amish Psychedelic Pioneers. Who hasn’t thought while tripping on shrooms that eating one’s own partly-digested fecal pellets might kick a second time? As someone who doesn’t exactly relish the idea of eating poop, a cookbook was in order.

Now, before you go thinking, this is gross, John, I agree, but this is Sunday, and I swear that some of this is a product of automatic writing influenced by this painting of Santo Niño de Atocha. Yep, that’s exactly how this got here.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

The cat is calling bullshit; you can see it in his stare.

The sun has been pouring in on us through the two large picture windows while Chef Clayton continues to busy himself in the kitchen. Intermittently, he pops over, mumbling something about Ezekiel the Radical Amish Clown as Caroline fends off Fabio the Cat with the whole commotion disturbing my reading of Jack Mendelsohn’s Being Liberal in an Illiberal Age: Why I Am a Unitarian Universalist.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Is anyone here in need of a baptism? John 03:19 is on hand for administering the sacrament of admission to the Radical Amish Church today. Please don’t confuse this reference to today’s date with the biblical quote of John 3:19, which states, “God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil.” From the 1991 manga version of the Radical Amish Bible page 126, the thought bubble as spoken by Santo Niño de Atocha read, “John’s light was murky, but people loved the murk as it reminded them of feasting on their refection.”

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

General Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana Huevos Rancheros, a.k.a. a Gentleman’s Huevos, have been brought to the table, and to call this concoction exquisite wouldn’t adequately share the delight that was had. I recognize that this indulgence reflects my own lack of culinary acumen as, comparatively, I am making food for rabbits and termites that fatten us but fail to alight the soul. Our meal was taken to the sounds of Alicia de Larrocha’s Granado, and as it faded, our morning ritual approached an end, too.

Our conversation moves from the table to the kitchen as we discuss the art found in the ritual of preparing a meal. In a sad moment of self-awareness, I must admit that my ideas of intentionality pale in comparison to someone who exercises his will to affect and deliver a quality of life that far surpasses my own feeble attempts. Maybe I can learn a thing or two about the life of the gentlemen by taking on Clayton’s reference to Baldesar Castiglione’s Book of the Courtier. It was while speaking of Castiglione that our host shared this wonderful paraphrasing, “The definition of a gentleman is someone who derives no pleasure from seeing another creature suffer,”

My encounters with people of expansive minds remind me of just how small my own is, and yet, on many occasions, I’m well aware that I’m among other people with smaller minds than my own. While I’m not ashamed of how accidentally my life unfolds, I know that there has been much intentionality that has propelled Caroline and me into the myriad of adventures and experiences we’ve been so fortunate to encounter. It’s a good day when I see that there is still ample room for me to redouble my efforts. This has me wondering how those who never encounter others who could mentor them by exemplifying the more refined aspects of life have been so effective in allowing their languishing souls to disguise just how unrefined and vulgar they are. It is one thing to be born a Neanderthal but another to die as one without ever becoming aware of the knuckle-dragging existence we exhibited while wearing our best troglodytic personas.

Duncan, Arizona

Time to leave the peaceful air of the Simpson and venture into the blustering force of brisk wind where the sun might wash self-doubt from these burdened shoulders. Mind you, I’m well aware that life is good, and I’m genuinely encouraged that there always seems to be room for improvement. Walking is a good place to return to for the clearing of the mind and resolving some of the ambiguity, so out we go.

Duncan, Arizona

Tragically, my walking around town observing things suggests that maybe I’m on the verge of being cast off as junk like so many of these discarded artifacts that no longer hold utility. Well, in that case, I suppose that at least until nature reclaims those things that provoked these musings, my hulking form will have to strive harder to leave enough remnants on the intellectual landscape for people to walk by and maybe wonder what the mind of John did in the utility of others before his abandonment of life.

Duncan, Arizona

This old rusting school bus no longer brings children to school; its value is lost. Then again, when was the last time the name of Ibn al-Haytham and his seminal book Kitab al-Manazir came up regarding the discussion of light and vision? Even a contemporary great such as Professor Thomas G. Brown at the University of Rochester is not a name that falls from the tip of our tongues, and yet his work on cylindrical vector beams is undeniably important to our modern way of life. Just the other day, I was discussing with Caroline the metrology of photonic integrated circuits with an emphasis on measuring the in-situ polarization state within a silicon nitride waveguide, which is currently Professor Brown’s major area of interest when we realized that we cannot even count one other person we know interested in such subjects. What does this have to do with school buses cast off on the junk heap of former utility? Maybe nothing other than an idea that asks if it’s possible that all knowledge, pioneers, thinkers, artists, and musicians are ultimately nothing more than a bunch of junk nobody cares about if it doesn’t lend itself to immediate gratification led by foolish hedonism?

Duncan, Arizona

But what is this? A broken-down soda dispenser? Yes and no, you see in this image is the data of what it is, or was. At some point, its data will be eaten by Artificial Intelligence, and as pockets of our population fall into a dark age, the electronic brain will remember and understand what we are losing. Just consider that with the fall of Rome in the 5th century, the recipe for how they made such durable concrete was lost for the next 1,300 years; what are we on the verge of losing?

Take my example regarding Ibn al-Haytham and Professor Brown. It was in the 13th century, a little more than 150 years after Kitab al-Manazir (Book of Optics) was written, when Roger Bacon was inspired by this work to study optics and eyeballs, leading him to describe lenses that would correct our vision and create telescopes along with inventing the magnifying glass. About four-hundred fifty years later, Johannes Kepler, Isaac Newton, and Galileo Galilei would also find the work of Ibn al-Haytham instrumental to their discoveries. But what about Professor Brown’s relationship to all of this? There’s a likelihood that either his research or that of those he’s influenced is going to be integrated into optical computing, which is the future of that field. I used ChatGPT to explore these connections, and at some point, its algorithms will utilize over 1,000 years of research and development in optics to intuitively understand these connections in ways only those with very specialized knowledge can grasp. Meanwhile, we humans walk around obliviously looking at rusting junk and other trash, probably on the way to no longer having any value either.

Duncan, Arizona

None of us use payphones anymore; when will we forsake books, computers, and even conversations required for the exploration of knowledge? I grew up in an age where knowledge was secondary to the acquisition of stuff that embodied the American dream. Today, generations are growing up with nearly no idea at all of what role knowledge might play in their lives. They are uncertain about careers, financial opportunities, or having children. Our ambition to excel has been replaced with the ambiguity of not being able to figure out the nonsense, violence, and incoherence emanating out of previous generations, afraid of a future where thinking people might abandon accepted conventions of conformity that served a ruling elite.

Duncan, Arizona

Speaking of elites, the Charismatics were out in force this Sunday, though you wouldn’t have known it if you were listening for their shrieks. Only the mass of their cars indicated that they were congregating in the church/shed. While we were tempted to poke our heads in to watch and listen to them speaking in hands and laying on tongues, our wild imaginations suggested they would recognize us as outsider infidels and chase us with snakes to banish our evil presence. Our flight of fancy was probably far more entertaining than the creepy reality we’d have likely found in the First Baptist Church of Duncan. This photo is just an old house for sale, not the den of those “slain in the Spirit.”

Back at the Simpson, the clock is somehow off, showing us a time between. Just how long we had been out and wallowing in the destitution that is Duncan becomes the passage of unknowns. There is an inescapable sense of what was once out this way when people had hope and dreams but has been stolen by the relentless force of time going forward. Fleeting glimpses of renewed aspirations can be seen here and there, but something just as quickly began erasing those efforts. Futility creeps into the fool who believes that America can be renewed. The edges and outposts decay on a margin where the casual observer moving by in their car might hardly notice the scale of what is collapsing.

Huipile at Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

The coherence of cloth impacts its utility. If, through defect or wear, the assemblage begins to fall apart, someone must mend the fabric, or the original intention of its creation will be lost, and the article can be disposed of or recycled. The coherence of people in relationship to the potential of available knowledge has traditionally been woven into a tapestry of greater meaning and utility, but at this juncture, we are coming apart at the seams and apparently have no one able to mend the decaying fabric of what we could be.

It is obvious to me that humanity requires the genius of the weavers and seamstresses of the past to design a new kind of cloth that better lays bare the arrogance of our stupidity. We’ve been using masks and cloaks in the form of accumulated things to hide the state of intellectual nakedness instead of facing the damage we inflict not only on our planet but upon one another, too. Just as we are evolving an artificial knowledge that will exceed everything that came before it, we are relinquishing our very humanity in support of unsustainable dreams that are grotesque folly.

Is Nothing Even Possible?

Duncan, Arizona

We slept in this morning, not waking until 6:15. In the still quiet moments of the morning, we slunk out the front door for a walk to the Gila River on the other side of the railroad tracks. While we’ll walk with the romantic notion of catching sight or sound of a distant sandhill crane, we know that by this time in March, that’s a silly idea, but romance is full of silly thoughts.

Duncan, Arizona

Aside from a few small, mostly unseen birds and the occasional lumbering semi-truck hauling copper plates from a nearby mining operation, adding their noise to the dawn, we seem to be in the world by ourselves. That is until we reach a spot where an excited dog or two lets us know that they, too, are awake and aware.

Duncan, Arizona

It wasn’t our goal to actually see much or even be anywhere, but we needed to get some walking in, even as the cold of eastern Arizona worked furiously to turn us around. Good thing we have at least some small modicum of fortitude and don’t opt for grabbing a siesta at every opportunity, especially when the power of suggestion found in this mural is speaking so loudly.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Back at the Simpson, a friendly voice from the kitchen welcomed us with the good news that coffee was close to being served. With coffee about to flow, breakfast couldn’t be far behind, while previous experience says the exquisiteness of culinary finery on offer wasn’t going to disappoint.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Chef Clayton delivered a homemade concoction of warm coffee cake swathed in a unique cream sauce topped with berries before bringing us a cheesy frittata with spinach and marinated peppers encircled by vegetarian turkey sausage with sweet roasted zucchini and onions. Maybe breakfast here becomes spectacular precisely because it is vegetarian, which forces expectations to be tossed aside as the familiar old staples just won’t work. Of the half-dozen or so meals we’ve been offered at the Simpson, each has been truly inspired and delightful, arriving at the table with a burst of surprise to become a part of the allure of being way out here.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

At this point of post-feast, time slows to a crawl. Off in the distance, a nap beckons, but we are pros at remaining awake while offering the appearance of doing nearly nothing. The truth is that we didn’t, in fact, suspend time. Caroline spent some of those moments translating a text about tablet weaving for a friend in Germany, and I wandered about the rustic kitchen, followed by a trip to the rear of the hotel looking to find where my next words would come from so I could get to writing.

Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona

Writing, though, doesn’t always arrive just because it is sought after. Looking outward to inspire something inward is really just a wish to avoid sitting down to confront an empty head that is seeking this downtime. Hours passed, along with some rain that came and went. The whipping branches seen through a window are warning us that should we venture out, which is exactly what we must do if we are to eat lunch, we will encounter a blustery wind that could also be carrying a chill. No matter, we are brave when we must be.

Caroline Wise at Country Chic in Duncan, Arizona

Something funny happened on the way to The Ranch House restaurant. A small shop called Country Chic was open, and Caroline apparently was in a shopping mood because we didn’t leave empty-handed. The only reason this was funny is that, while Caroline can always be counted on for wanting to dip into far-and-away shops, it’s a rare day that she buys anything. But this won’t be the only visit to a local store as Clayton recommended a place dripping with a character reminiscent of a different age that we should go to before it no longer exists.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

Germaine’s Emporium is that place and with equal parts antiques, junk, and dust, we stepped back in time.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

This and the next image brought me right back to my landing in Germany in the mid-80s when the military was still celebrating that Elvis Presley had once been stationed over there. Germany, for that matter, was proud of this distinction.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

Somebody out here or multiple people served in the military during the Cold War with an assignment in Europe. These tiles were a popular souvenir for soldiers, along with shot glasses, small plates with similar designs, cuckoo clocks, and World War II memorabilia; I expect to find all of the above here.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

Actually, finding stuff here might require a larger investment in time as there are likely tens of thousands of items distributed far and wide among the shelves, rafters, and corners.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

There was something John and Caroline’ish about this that demanded the photo and inclusion in this post today.

Caroline Wise at Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

While she’s graduated to Queen status, you get the point.

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

And here we are at the World War II memorabilia corner in this shopping mall of antiques; sadly, I can’t find where in my busy life I’d make good use of wearing an old Nazi hat with the ever-iconic SS Totenkopf (Death’s head), and so I’ll have to leave it where it is along with the StG44 rifle that I’m sure is great to carry with me to my local Starbucks or favorite Mexican restaurant but with all my writing and photography chores how would I find the time for that kind of mayhem?

Germaine's Emporium in Duncan, Arizona

Germaine’s certainly smacks of authenticity as it’s not the kind of spic n’ span kind of antique shop that is meant to appeal to your average clean freak looking for things that might lend authenticity to their fake expensive home. These trinkets and effects are imbued with the ghosts of those who left simple lives behind and their families didn’t know what to do with the junk. I’m sure there are interesting collectibles for others here, but most of the stuff feels like sadness and tragedy to me.

As for the rest of the day, there’s but a blur of conversation, cats, food, smiles, writing, and sewing images floating in an ephemeral cloud of indistinct memories that will be allowed to drift away.

Leaving The Sun Behind

On Highway 70 in Eastern Arizona

With our recent rains, an abundance of wildflowers is starting to bloom across the landscape, but our tight schedule won’t allow us the opportunity to stop and smell those mostly scentless blossoms. A few days ago, I wrote that we’d be heading east, and that’s just what we are doing on this road that will bring us back to Duncan, Arizona. Once we arrive out there, we’ll be just a few miles from New Mexico. Prior to that, but not quite at the halfway point of our journey, we’ll make what is now an obligatory stop in Miami at Guayo’s El Rey Mexican restaurant. Yeah, I know it was only three days ago I was there, and yet again, I’ll be dining on carne asada as they have perfected this dish. I’ve already called ahead to ensure I wouldn’t be stopping, only to find disappointment. Had they been sold out, the plan was to stop at La Paloma Mexican restaurant in Solomon, Arizona, but it turns out that later, we’d have been foiled as they closed forever back on Valentine’s Day.

Prior to this highly anticipated dinner with the sun still offering us ample light, Caroline continued making progress in The Muqaddimah: An Introduction to History by 14th-century scholar Ibn Khaldûn. The book is a bit dry at times, dated too, but then we consider that this was written in the 14th century when Europe was just starting to emerge from the Dark Ages that had lasted since the fall of Rome. It’s important to note that Europe only reawakened for the Renaissance following the revival of Humanism, meaning classical learning. Hey America, how long will you lie fallow, allowing your intellectual druthers to rot on the vine? Anyway, the book goes on, and our surprise continues as the parallels with modernity appear prescient.

On Highway 70 in Eastern Arizona

Quickly shifting roadside hues of reds, oranges, purples, and yellows with nearly similar tones skyward were drawing our eyes to these bursts of color instead of the road ahead. Fortunately for us, our new car has adaptive cruise control, stay-in-lane technology, and some other features that allow the indulgence of gazing at the beauty that will only be part of the Arizona desert for brief moments before disappearing for the evening.

While only a weekend getaway, this is still a vacation for us, and while in this mode, we can easily allow ourselves to fall into full indulgence. An hour past Miami, we will be arriving in Pima, Arizona, along with seemingly everyone else from the area showing up at Taylor Freeze for a St. Patrick’s Day celebratory ice cream. A shared malted chocolate shake warmed our souls as it’s a rare day that we stop for such a treat.

On Highway 70 in Eastern Arizona

Our arrival at Chateau Simpson is heralded with fanfare by the village folk celebrating in drunken revelry to Honky Tonk Badonkadonk in the streets of Duncan. Others might say that this was merely their way of commemorating St. Patrick’s Day, but I’m taking it as a sign that they knew we were coming and pulled out all the stops.

Clearing the crowd, renowned artist Don Carlos cut a path so we might sooner take refuge in the chateau, greeting us with a hearty welcome as though he were opening his home to King Kaka Fuego and his bride Ninnyhammer instead of the humble guests we are. The Old Library Room would be our sanctuary for the duration, and we were assured that we’d be the only other guests, along with a couple of treasure-hunting geologists attempting to appear inconspicuous, but anyone with an iota of worldly experience could see the adventure they were on: they were here to grab the gold and run.

Prior to taking up our familiar places in the parlor for hot tea and even hotter conversation, we would need to pay our respects to Dimitri, Malaki, Angelina, Fabio, and Molly, who would parade by offering us claws, seductive feline purrs, and feigning aloofness implying their lack of interest, though we all know that cats require attention on their terms and will get it. With the formalities out of the way, we could get down to talking psychedelics, Proust, Tacitus, Bergson, and Death by Bunga.

That’s kind of how things went prior to laying our heads down to sleep for the first night of our weekend away.

Not As Planned

Miami, Arizona

Sure, I might have just gotten home a few days ago but if a friend needs a getaway, I can be the person to accommodate that. And this time that friend was Brinn who started his career as a nurse months ago and has been working hard without a chance for a quick overnight getaway. We finalized our plans last night, and then this morning I talked with Clayton over at the Simpson Hotel in Duncan, Arizona, to find out that he could have a couple of rooms made up for us. Well then, nothing more to do than wait for Brinn to finish dealing with another commitment before he could meet me for us to get on the road.

Miami, Arizona

Perfect timing, we are pulling into Miami for, you guessed it, Guayo’s El Rey Mexican restaurant for our favorite carne asada ever. Charbroiled beef smothered in green chili and cheese from this place never fails to satisfy, unless they are sold out as they were when Caroline and I passed through here nearly a couple of months ago. If I were a smart man I’d leave out these references to my food obsessions, but like all things, either they will go away or I will and then all that will be left are these notes about either or both. It’s just like this long abandoned Motel Villa at 1640 Cherry Avenue and Highway 60 in Miami that I can’t find a lick of information about. Maybe if a traveler back in the days when their sign lit up along the highway into Phoenix had taken a moment to document their journey, photographed the sign when it shone brightly and shared their experience staying at Motel Villa, I’d be able to walk in their memories.

There are many abandoned properties to be found in Miami. While I ultimately learned from a real estate site that Motel Villa was built in 1951, that will never satisfy my curiosity about the rest of the town which has an incredible visual appeal to my searching eyes. The journey to learn about this one property did inspire me to consider revisiting these places such as Miami, Winkelman, Kearny, Clifton, Duncan, and so many others that are fading off the map, to capture what does remain in order to provide at least a visual reference for others that might be on a similar quest in the future to find out what they can about this part of our disappearing history.

Picketpost Mountain in Superior, Arizona

If you knew the geography of this part of Arizona you’d know that Picketpost Mountain should not be showing up at this point in my post. You see, we are now traveling west having just passed through Superior which is east of Miami. Why might we have turned around? Because relationships are complicated. This isn’t a reference to Brinn and me, suffice it to say he needed to give his attention to something more important than being out of town.

View east from across the Picketpost Mountain in Superior, Arizona

No matter though, Caroline will be thrilled that I’m going to be home tonight and we were able to have lunch at what should be the world-famous Guayo’s El Rey. The idea of staying out at the Simpson Hotel will also inspire Caroline and me to book a couple of nights this coming weekend so there’s that win too. Finally, this was a beautiful day for a drive with the first signs of wildflowers looking to explode on the landscape promising a colorful trip across the desert in the coming days.

Crushed Expectations

Sunrise near Valley of the Gods in Mexican Hat, Utah

It’s basically a day like so many others before it: I wake before the sun nudges me from sleep, except on this occasion, my head rises alone for the last time before I get home later today and snuggle in next to the person I love. Carlos and I are bringing to an end our brief five-day excursion that took us to places new to him but mostly familiar to me.

One never knows what might be shared when traveling with a young person, nor does one go on adventures knowing what can be learned about oneself. I anticipated prior to our departure that I’d have my stamina challenged as this 20-year-old young man would have boundless energy, but here, at the cusp of 60 years old, I’ve found the exact opposite. My day started more than an hour ago; I’m showered, packed, and sitting in the dark writing as I’ve already learned to let him sleep because he can fall asleep at the breakfast table, in the car while chatting, listening to music, exploring an environment he’s never seen. Sunrises are not his thing.

We surprisingly leave Mexican Hat, Utah, before the sun has risen, one of the rare opportunities for Carlos to witness the phenomenon for himself, hopefully not the last. While there are rough ideas for how this day might progress, there’s nothing fixed aside from the certainty that we will be traveling south.

We’ll cross over the San Juan River and find the Valley of the Gods in sight before stopping to stare at the sun, looking for the best way to capture its image. I have my ideas of how to photograph our star, but Carlos is new to this experience, which will force him to practice this type of portraiture. As is typical with my method of travel, it’s not long before we are pulling over again for me to learn if I can see something with new eyes in a way that will allow me to bring an experience of the senses home with me I’d not previously encountered. It’s all an experiment, even if I’ve traveled this way a dozen or more times before.

Sunrise near Valley of the Gods in Mexican Hat, Utah

I know we have options regarding how this early part of the day might unfold, but as has been true the previous days, Carlos is along for the ride and has had no input regarding what comes next as this has all been an unfolding surprise of discovery for him.

If, from the title of today’s missive, you think I’m ending our journey on a negative note (Crushed Expectations could imply just that, couldn’t it?), you’d be wrong as the expectations Carlos entertained leading up to this adventure into unknowns proved wrong, well at least one important bit. You see, in order to allay his anticipated boredom due to the long haul across the featureless landscape, Carlos brought nearly a dozen books along with him. My thought was, who brings a dozen books on a road trip other than the person who fears not only becoming bored by the environment but one who becomes bored by the titles he’s attempting to read?

Monument Valley as seen from Utah

Instead, Carlos began falling into what it means to find the art to be seen in all things, and if he’s fortunate, he might discover the love to be found there, too. Like most young Americans brought up on a diet of instant gratification found in being over-stimulated by addictive media that dismiss that which is not consumed through a screen or intense human-created experiences, Carlos wasn’t prepared for the enchantment that awaited him by exploring immense space.

Monument Valley as seen from Utah

But here we are in the resonating throws of an experience that has unfolded in ways unexpected to the mind and imagination of a young man who now wants to continue the journey. By now, I’ve shared one of the secrets that have served Caroline and me so well: from the experiences you love, leave something undone so it will be the thing that draws you back. For Carlos, that draw was a hoped-for visit to the Grand Canyon, but our diversion and distractions that are allowed to happen will slice into the time that might have otherwise been available for a quick visit.

Carlos Guerrero entering Arizona from Utah

The loop is closing, though I hope the road ahead for Carlos will be a divergent one where he’s able to find a path of his own making instead of stumbling into the ruts etched by others following routines that rarely, if ever, change.

Winter on the Navajo Reservation north of Kayenta, Arizona

One cannot always simply go forward; we must yield to impasses, even if we created them ourselves. The road does not go on forever; you have to choose which way you will turn, though crashing into the wall ahead is also an option often chosen.

Winter on the Navajo Reservation north of Kayenta, Arizona

And if you can’t see everything ahead of you, that’s okay; perspective shifts and surprises work to enhance what will have been gained after finding the flexibility and adaptability to work within your situation.

Blue Coffee Pot restaurant in Kayenta, Arizona

To many, maybe a stop at a roadside diner is just another place for a meal, but for me, finding the Blue Coffee Pot Restaurant in Kayenta, Arizona, on the Navajo Reservation open is a treasure. Carlos hadn’t noticed that initially, we were the only two non-Navajo customers in the joint; others passing through town are more likely to stop at the next-door McDonald’s or Burger King as those are the brands they know. Caroline and I have already visited this small restaurant and know that it’s not anything special, but we delight in the knowledge that our money will more directly support the Navajo community instead of some already wealthy executives in faraway Chicago, Illinois.

So, we take up a table, are brought coffee, and await our meal from but a few choices. Normally, I might have dug into writing so I’d have notes allowing me to add granular details to a trip, but over the course of these days, I’ve used my writing time as talking time to iterate and reiterate thoughts and ideas I believe worthy for a young person to at least hear once or twice before finding them at some future date. I’m a bit relentless in pressing these lessons into the ears of Carlos, who doesn’t seem bothered at all by the constant barrage. And so we talk, even at the expense of my breakfast cooling off instead of being eaten.

Comic of John Wise by Morgan Navarro from Grenoble, France

And then breakfast will grow colder as I watch a man wearing headphones enter the restaurant holding a mic in a windscreen and circle the place. It turns out that his name is Jack, and he’s traveling with his friend Morgan; the two Frenchmen are on a pilgrimage to document the path of Hunter S. Thompson, and after getting Jack’s attention, the two of us talk. This traveling journalist/podcaster half-wondered, half-asked, “Why has America seemingly failed to find inspiration from Hunter S. Thompson, and what are my tips for their next destination of Las Vegas?”

I have a tickle in my throat due to all of my talking, and realize that people I enjoy talking to likely believe I talk like this all the time. Little do they understand that there are few people I like talking to, and that’s why I find myself so often before the screen typing, writing in a notebook, reading, or walking around looking at my world and spending time in my own inner dialog. The majority of people which whom I start a conversation only last about 5 to 10 minutes before eyes start rolling, hands fidget, and their body language is a subtle contortion of squirming. When I run into someone with the tiniest spark of curiosity, and I have their attention, I try to dump a sense of passion for knowledge and discovery into them without overwhelming the person or losing them in intertwined examples they typically easily lose track of what thread I’m adding to the tapestry I’m attempting to weave.

Navajo Reservation south of Kayenta, Arizona

This metaphor of creating a cloth is hopefully an apt one because in weaving, complexity and a lot of preparation precede the outcome; similarly, the listener might be confused about the relationship of elements in a conversation being laid down; they cannot yet detect the pattern or value of the way things will be woven into their own experience. We, humans, are often not accustomed to listening to complexities of relationships between unfamiliar ideas and thoughts, finding it difficult to mix them into our own understanding, but this is essentially what the observer witnesses as the weaver throws the weft over the warp, we are not seeing the entire picture or finished form.

Graffiti on the Navajo Reservation in Shonto, Arizona

As the storyteller, I try my best to unravel the image drawn from my experience in a way that makes sense to the listener or reader, but this a fragment spun out of the impossibility of always finding a perfect coherence just as nobody has ever found the perfect alignment of musical notes that create the greatest melody which becomes the definitive song of all time and destroys the need for any new music after this discovery. Nope, we continue throwing contrasting notes into a melange of songs as people enjoy the variety. Sadly, the same cannot be said for stories, especially particularly difficult and possibly obtuse ones.

Graffiti on the Navajo Reservation in Shonto, Arizona

Our vocabulary and experience limit our ability to see beyond the immediacy of self, and through eroding attention spans, we have evolved narratives that have shrunk in much the same manner as moving from Victorian undergarments to g-strings in little more than a generation or two. So now we are left with a society communicating using monosyllabic language that accompanies an equally narrow comprehension. If this brevity is sufficient for operating daily life, then why not apply it to the interpretation of viewing the entirety of what lies ahead? The answer to this is that brevity and simplicity are inadequate for finding knowledge buried in the magnitude of what is before us.

Cow Springs, Arizona

There’s no bridging the chasm from an old-fashioned set of underwear (thoughts) to the other side of the abyss using a g-string (memes). I believe that a comparison could be made by suggesting that Beethoven’s 5th Symphony, comprising four parts lasting 30 to 40 minutes, could be reduced to one note, although in some way, it can be reduced to just the first four. Of the rest of the piece, I suppose it could be claimed that if you heard it once, why does one need to hear it again? Could the answer be found in the fact that humans learn very little to nothing after a single iteration of new information arriving to their senses?

Cow Springs Trading Post in Cow Springs, Arizona

So, we go out to find, see, listen, and hear those things in life we are unfamiliar with, which is precisely what I’m attempting to share with Carlos. When one stops at a friend’s home and listens to a person playing the 5th symphony on piano, they have no real idea of the piece’s complexity if it were being played by a symphony. In our current age, we don’t care. We have the 15-second loop of Beethoven that accompanies the TikTok video with a witty phrase typed over it, and we believe we’ve gained the kind of deep knowledge that has served the sages over millennia. We are whole, we are complete, and we can now face the world with certainty that what was needed to forge a way ahead has been acquired. This is grotesquely untrue; we only thrive when knowledge and wisdom reach deeper into our souls.

Elephant Feet in Tonalea, Arizona

Mind you; this perception is not due to observations made regarding the person I’m traveling with; on the contrary, he’s quite curious, which is also the only reason we went out to share five days of being immersed in what for him are mostly new experiences. It’s precisely his willingness to look, listen, read, and wonder that allowed a basic foundation to be established where I felt that if I took the horse to water, it might likely drink. He supplied the seed, and I provided the sunlight and water.

John_Carlos_Roadtrip

This was the route of our 1,300-mile adventure.

Through the Portal

Jean Pierre Bakery in Durango, Colorado

Get in, get out. Go somewhere to get nowhere. Travel through the space that exists between you and places you’ve never been. Open the door to your cobweb-cluttered mind, welcoming a fresh breeze to disturb the mess within. Try to leave behind the nonsense you’ve been burdened with by expectations that are impossible to satisfy. Then, sit down to a meal of crispy hot knowledge where the shadows of ignorance will come under threat. When we embark on passing into new experiences where nothing is defined, we will likely find ourselves dining alone on the bitter diet of alienation, as who in their right mind would subject themself to introspection and uncertainty after finding cocksurety in the arrogance of all-knowing stupidity?

Southwest Colorado in Winter

We’ve been traveling in a counter-clockwise direction to unwind the spring that is designed to take us forward into expectations. Time is reversing to deny us our orientation with certainty. We revert to a previous mind, the one we carried as children when everything was still new. We are failing to respect convention and custom as we choose to find a new path; I am experiencing familiarity while Carlos travels into a multi-sensorial universe inconceivable just 72 hours earlier. We end up writing and rewriting our internal mappings that drive an operating system running on an auto-pilot setting that helps direct what our future narratives will borrow in order to take form. All the while, the inclination is to believe we are simply following a road that will bring us to something known.

Approaching Utah from Colorado

How could anyone have known the day would start in an authentic French bakery in a mountain town, followed by a slow drive through a snowy environment before being dumped back out in the arid desert? While you might think that, as the planner of this adventure, I would be in possession of that knowledge, the reality is that I considered roads to places separated by reasonable driving distances and then let the pieces fall into place. At any juncture along the way, we may have needed to deviate from the route due to weather, an accident, or even incompatibility between two forces of life that, in an instant found themselves living 24/7 side-by-side.

Carlos Guerrero at Utah State Line

Time to put Colorado behind us for a quick dash to Mexican Hat, Utah, where I hope we can check in early to our motel, dump our bags, and race over to the Navajo Welcome Center at Monument Valley. We have an appointment for 12:30 to meet up with Cody for a guided tour out on the Mystery Valley Trail. This is the reason there are but a few photos representing the first half of the day, though we passed dozens of beautiful snowy landscapes I would have loved to photograph. Believe it or not, this trip has nothing to do with my photography or what I might be looking for; it’s really about what Carlos might discover along the way. This was also a pivotal moment for him. Yesterday, before confirming today’s adventure, I asked him if he was able or willing to pony up his share of the cost for the hike I had in mind. It’s not every day we are confronted with a per-person cost of $180 to be brought into an environment where a good amount of time would be spent walking around through a desert landscape. Strangely enough, he opted to see what the pricey journey might entail.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

We are only slightly southwest of Monument Valley but simultaneously a world away in a place rather isolated. Tire tracks are common, although the sight of the vehicles that left have them will be hard to come by, so we take in the shadows as they stretch over the landscape and will have to imagine the footprints of those Iceage Paleo-Indian hunters that are said to have roamed here starting some 14,000 years before Europeans arrived. As for the shadows, they arrived with the return of the rising sun.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

The Grand Canyon sees about 12,400 visitors a day, and the Great Smoky Mountains National Park sees about 38,600 visitors per day. In this photo we are seeing absolutely nobody, and, should it stay this way, there will be no sad visitors to Mystery Valley today.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

Spoke too soon; here we see John Wayne because John Wayne is always near.

Carlos Guerrero at Mystery Valley in Arizona

In the 192 million years of Monument Valley’s history and with two people standing at this particular point on earth, this is the first time ever that photos were taken of one another. This will never be duplicated due to the impossibility of seeing the exact type and quality of lighting and sky that was rapidly changing here today or even knowing just where it was we were standing.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

On any given day, one might be looking at this scene and, on the very next day, believe they are looking at the same thing, but superposition says this isn’t exactly true. From one day to the next, something changed: a plant grew, grains of sand were blown about, a lizard shifted a thing unseen, and so while the unchanged part is seen, so are the changes though our ability to recall find details might not readily pick up on those differences. You, too, are in a superposition of yourself because you may not perceive how you changed from one day to the next; in the mirror, you will be gazing upon the two versions of yourself, the one that existed yesterday and this new one that gathered something different and has likely changed your trajectory and perception.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

When we are out in unfamiliar places, we are processing a world of differences as we read and learn about the environment. We are, in effect, taking steroids and building muscles, but while our brain becomes swole with the strength of this kind of exercise, we cannot see the bulging pecs of a mind taking on greater definition, and so we discount the value of these experiences.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

Play a videogame, and over time, a person will develop skills that allow the battles and puzzle solving to become easier, but what does one improve upon in their mindscape when considering a tree growing in a bowl of swirly sandstone? What skills are honed or strengths achieved when observing the world around us as an aesthetic body that might be embued with ideas of beauty?

Mystery Valley, Arizona

Prior to the arrival of the Navajo, the Ancestral Puebloans (Anasazi) roamed these lands. I grew up with the ugly manufactured idea that arose out of the Rousseauian concept of the Noble Savage, where white ethnographers romanticized the idea that the Anasazi simply disappeared as a kind of phenomenon. Creating a mystery is more exciting for the imagination than dealing with truths that point to marginalized people forced onto reservations and stripped of their ways of life. In many cases, their children were stolen to ensure they took on the attributes of the dominant culture, though they would never actually become part of that. With a fantasy created, the white inhabitants could reasonably claim that they weren’t corraling authentic people with real history. Those natives were now extinct, and the ones being forced into capitulation were savages intent on destroying opportunities for whites while also threatening our womenfolk. The people who lived on these lands a millennia ago were Ancestral Puebloans who continue to live spread out across the Four Corners Region of the Southwest.

Carlos Guerrero at Mystery Valley in Arizona

Being out here with Cody leading us through these red rocks is amazing in its own right, but I would love the opportunity to camp here for a number of days, leaving the truck behind while we simply walk about, sit for a while, watch and listen to the coming and going of night and day. The reality of our time here is one of a financial equation, a man gets paid so he can continue to exist on land he may have inherited, but the dictates of the modern economy have conditioned him to understand that money equals food and freedom, and if one only has enough for food, his freedom is effectively damned and time made precious and rare.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

The dominant culture of the United States might claim that Americans exist in an egalitarian society, but that’s nothing more than bald-faced lies, similar to those told to people surviving in the straights of poverty by a bourgeoisie protecting the wealth they are afraid could slip away. What happens when not only your inner wealth slips away, but your cultural wealth is torn from the group, and you are left with mythologies that don’t pay for a sack of flour and a hunk of meat? You despair and foment hate with a dose of resentment, or at least I would. I wonder how Americans would feel about their homes being taken in a big roundup while simultaneously forced to acknowledge that Jesus no longer exists and that they’ll be prosecuted and reeducated should they continue to hold on to such primitivism?

Mystery Valley, Arizona

The ironic thing is that the imagination and intellect of the lower socio-economic 2/3rds of the U.S. population have essentially had just that happen to them as they have been stripped of an education that would serve them well in an age of rapidly ascending technology they barely comprehend. Their overlords are creating a complexity using a technological language that relegates this majority to being that of savages and not particularly romanticizable savages. It is as though the modern American masses are becoming an indecipherable bit of rock art that reflects an ancient society lost in time. Humanity is being lost.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

People from between 700 and 2,000 years ago made this pottery, and as it lost its utility, it was left here. When the people of today die, they will leave behind nothing they created with their own hands; they will leave trash, while the memories they gathered from their participation in a media-driven society will leave no signs. Fortunately, these beautiful pieces of pottery that act as reminders of those who came before have so far survived the intrusion of outsiders who sadly, would pay upwards of $1000 for a piece of jewelry made with some of these fragments. We would steal the historical reflections of these ancestors in order to feed our ego and guts, caring not one bit about whose heritage we erase.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

This is a reminder to the future generations that would walk in the Ancestral Puebloan’s footsteps that others learned how to survive here. It is an important history lesson and a challenge for those who follow to learn how to live with less.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

I can’t really say I’ve seen a lot of pottery shards in my lifetime, but I’ve likely seen more than most. This, though, is the first time I’ve seen a piece with a small hole carved into it that I’m going to make the semi-educated guess was there in order to make carrying the vessel a bit easier by using a bit of leather or maybe a twined rope made of yucca. Should you ever find your way out in Mystery Valley, maybe you’ll spot this piece, too, as it’s still lying right where we found it.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

This was home to at least a small handful of Ancestral Puebloans many hundreds of years ago. It was certainly not a dwelling the Navajo would have lived in as their pre-Western contact homes were hogans and sweat houses (sweat lodges) known in Navajo as k’eet’soo’ii.

Carlos Guerrero at Mystery Valley in Arizona

While I was scoping photography opportunities and contemplating silence, Carlos responded to the opportunity of climbing up the cliff face and carefully crawled through the narrow entryway into the long-abandoned cliff dwelling. While I would love to experience the view from above and within, my fear of heights combined with the steep exposure stymied me yet again; well, we can’t do everything, can we?

Mystery Valley, Arizona

Somewhere along the trail, Carlos points out how this is possibly the first time he’s been somewhere so absent of others. This wasn’t a lament; it felt enthusiastic that he should be having such an experience and seeing the world with the eyes of real surprise that might redefine the way he relates to the idea of what a desert is.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

Cherish these moments, Carlos, as over the past 25 years, Caroline and I have found these isolated situations are becoming rarer. The luxury of being in the quiet, open spaces where beauty can be found is disappearing, in large part due to social media and the #doitforthegram crowd. Once Instagram and its influencers take away some of the appeals of pristine places such as what’s happening to Iceland, Pedra do Telégrafo, the Cliffs of Moher, Macchu Picchu, and the Hooker Valley Track, aspiring influencers looking for fame and fortune must discover their own places that will inspire others to be cool like them.

Many Hands Ruin in Mystery Valley, Arizona

To stand here in silence and solitude with no one else present offers the visitor a moment to capture a sense of place taken out of a time prior to the advent of the camera and crowds. We are at The House of Many Hands.

Many Hands Ruin in Mystery Valley, Arizona

A picture is worth a thousand words, except when it’s not. There are four human-looking pictographs on this panel along with more than a few handprints, but I have no facility to decipher them but maybe I don’t really need to. Is it only my desire to solve the mystery that I want to imbue the figures with special meaning, as I think they may contain secrets that were meaningful to the Ancestral Puebloans? What if they were simply art for art’s sake?

Many Hands Ruin in Mystery Valley, Arizona

Hands that touch, hands that hold, hands that love. Hands that write, hands that draw, hands that paint. Hands that steer, hands that give, hands that take.

Mystery Valley, Arizona

Eyes that take, eyes that translate, eyes that wish to never forget.

Chimney Arch at Mystery Valley, Arizona

If a hole in the fabric of reality were able to be opened, would you be afraid to look within? If a gateway into knowledge were to be found in a book, would you read it? If a passageway into your soul was to be discovered in love, would you make the effort to throw off your indifference?

Tear Drop Arch near Gouldings in Monument Valley, Arizona

Everything hangs in the balance between potential and oblivion. The opportunity to gaze through Teardrop Arch near Gouldings Lodge can only happen because one makes oneself available to be here; this is the potential of our senses to find change. A small mound of the earth will someday give way and topple this 200 million-year-old rock perched above it, thus continuing the work of the past 25 million years in shaping Monument Valley. Right here, which was part of my right now while standing here on this late afternoon, I moved my perspective to be witness to a second carved out of a vast history where I’ll blip in and out of existence in the relative blink of an eye. We are afforded this rare opportunity to look through history while history has no interest in looking through us. Will you opt to be present to experience at least some of life with your own eyes, hands, and ears, or is the oblivion of crumbling under the force of time never to have been anywhere good enough for you?

Sunset in Monument Valley, Arizona

Before you know it, another day is gone, another week, month, year, and a life you held dear. That one chance you had to be available for your own life and the lives of others will have slipped by; history will forget you and those who once loved you will also accede to the demands of time, thus erasing your presence like so many clouds capturing the final rays of a setting sun letting go of the intense beauty they inspired upon an observer who happened to be at the right place at the right time to experience such a thing before our star dipped below the horizon.

Changing Perspectives

Carlos Guerrero and John Wise leaving Arizona

These strange fellows are about to cross a vast delta of time between them as this 20-year-old guy and a nearly 60-year-old man leave Phoenix, Arizona, on a road trip that will be all about getting out of routine and expectations. Curiosity is the bridge that connects Carlos and me. When I first spoke with him, he was carrying a copy of Les Fleurs du Mal (The Flowers of Evil) by Charles Baudelaire that I’d read around the time I was his age. This commonality opened a door, and soon we were talking about literature, philosophy, and art. After some months of the occasional chat during his breaks at Starbucks or even while on shift, he quit to take another job, and I was certain our connection would be lost.

Highway 60 in Arizona

As Carlos was about to move on down the proverbial road, he asked for my number which I thought was quaint though a bit silly because we live in America, disconnected, not just from one another but from ourselves. I entertained him by giving him my number and wished him good luck. Obviously, he reached out, which I found peculiar considering I’m three times his age, which would imply a chasm of cultural distance between us. Ah, this must be a one-time anomaly to satisfy his curiosity about cameras (he had spoken about his interest in photography before). When we met, he asked about must-visit places in Los Angeles and enquired about a restaurant recommendation in Phoenix where he might try something out of the ordinary. I sent him to a local Peruvian restaurant, told him of Kinokuniya bookstore in Little Tokyo over in L.A., and suggested he temper his expectations of what he thinks he needs regarding camera gear until he knows if he has a real interest or if it’s a passing fancy.

Carlos Guerrero off Highway 60 in Arizona

After a few of these kinds of meetings, I gave Carlos an old Canon camera body I knew I would never use again and lent him a lens for him to try his hand at capturing his world. Over some weeks, I’d swap out lenses with him so he could experiment with different perspectives. We talked of possibly heading out for a day of photography, maybe even a weekend in Los Angeles. A week or maybe two would pass before I got another text message asking if we could meet up as he had questions about something or other. This continued until a little more than a week ago when he asked if my offer to travel was still open. Five consecutive days had opened up in his work schedule, but I had to let him know that there was no way I was going to L.A. for that period of time: I’d lose my mind – those days in Southern California with the traffic I’ve grown to abhor would pummel me. However, I told him if he were open to somewhere random, we might be able to work something out. His answer surprised me; it was a simple and concise “sure!”

Little Colorado River near Springerville, Arizona

Here we are on the first day of that five-day outing, hoping we might fall into some flow or else we’ll be doomed to end this expedition shortly after its beginning. This inkling of doubt nagged at the back of my head because how in god’s green earth (black & white in this instance) would a 20-year-old deal with hanging out with a potentially grumpy old man stricken with ugly fixed habits and a general intolerance for bullshit? On the other hand, how would I deal with an impatient and possibly petulant young man I only knew from brief encounters at a nearby Starbucks? About the path we’re taking, it was just a dozen hours prior to our departure that I fixed on one of two potential directions: north or east. We are heading east, and at this juncture in our trip, we are crossing the Little Colorado River near Springerville, Arizona, on U.S. Highway 60.

Near Springerville, Arizona

How appropriate, a young buck in nature and a young buck in my car venturing into nature. This deer is looking over his harem, which is off to the right and out of view in this photo; I have no way of knowing what he’s thinking. In one of the images above this, Carlos is walking through tall grass; it was here that he shared his first epiphany of sorts with me: he was struck by the rolling hills, the winds driving the grasses in patterns reflective of the air currents, and how far the horizon stretching beyond his purview. He voiced his wish that he could see what was beyond the hilltops, so I pulled over to a gate without a “No Trespassing” sign, and off he went to the other side. When he returned from looking into the mystery, he expressed a sense of awe. Maybe this guy won’t annoy me into taking him home as soon as tomorrow morning, after all.

Carlos Guerrero at the New Mexico State Line

With his display of potential, we entered into another state, quite literally. Carlos was about to visit New Mexico for the first time and put on a face of excitement. I guess it’s part of the generation gap and will contribute to my own learning experience regarding what modern youth is about. While a polite smile would have sufficed, anyone could wear that, and now this moment will forever be frozen into the story of Carlos as he crossed a barrier to finding himself elsewhere and that this was the appropriate gesture for entering new territory, physically, experientially, and intellectually.

Quemado, New Mexico

His enthusiasm quickly came crashing back to earth when I explained that we were going to squat in this abandoned motel in Quemado, New Mexico, because not only was it free, but there were still a few amenities that would make our stay comfortable.

Quemado, New Mexico

I chose this room for my young companion because I felt the eagle above the bed best represented his potential to lead a life free to soar over the world he’s yet to create for himself. Yet it appeared that Carlos may not really be ready for true adventure because I found it impossible to convince him to enter this liminal space. Was it the threat of what might be hiding around the corner in a bathroom of unknown surprises? Come on, Carlos, I plead, it is this sense of liminality that will have you finding another essential part of who you are. For those who would like to understand this idea without interrupting my riveting tale of personal growth by consulting a search engine, I offer the following:

In anthropology, liminality (from the Latin word for threshold) is the quality of ambiguity or disorientation that occurs in the middle stage of a rite of passage, when participants no longer hold their pre-ritual status but have not yet begun the transition to the status they will hold when the rite is complete. During a rite’s liminal stage, participants “stand at the threshold” between their previous way of structuring their identity, time, or community and a new way (which completing the rite establishes). — from Wikipedia.

Quemado, New Mexico

Hey Carlos, is that the sound of panic creeping into your voice as you ask if I’m really going to take these Dollar Store Christmas Mugs? Of course, I’m going to take these great souvenirs; the alternative is to visit some sickly bright gift shop somewhere and buy stuff neither of us needs. Might as well collect some free things to mark the first day of our adventure together. Hey, you wondering, too what’s through that doorway in the background on the right?

Quemado, New Mexico

There was no phone signal out here, and racing over to the payphone to call home for a rescue proved futile for him. In what crazy universe does one believe payphones are still a thing?

Quemado, New Mexico

Oh drats, the local diner is closed, too! I guess we’ll just have to bag a dog or something for dinner, but don’t worry, Carlos, I know how to prepare just about anything. Heck, I got you out here, didn’t I?

Quemado, New Mexico

With his vacation quickly turning dark and the worries of his mom possibly coming true, Carlos felt he needed to reconnect with the god he’s been neglecting, so off we went to the 24/7 local Catholic Church. Appropriately enough, it was Sunday, and he was able to pray and beg for his salvation. I don’t exactly know where his imagination was going, but he asked me to share the following with his mother:

May this Communion, O Lord, cleanse us of wrongdoing and make us heirs to the joy of heaven through Christ our Lord.

Dead Coyote on Highway 60 in New Mexico

Oh look, we’ve found dinner without having to lift a finger trying to capture something fresh.

Pie Town, New Mexico

We left the alternative dimension of Quemado (translation: burnt) and Carlos’s nightmares behind and headed to Pie Town. Certain that winter spelled NO PIE for us, I was surprised to find the Pie-O-Neer Cafe open. Seriously surprised because I had been certain this place was shuttered after being up for sale for quite some time. Alrighty then, we need to step right in as they were “Open For Our Pleasure.”

Carlos Guerrero in Pie Town, New Mexico

Carlos explained, “Yes, this is, in fact, my face of pleasure. Do you have a problem?”

Datil, New Mexico

It was now time to remind my young travel companion that he had foolishly entered New Mexico with me, the home of Roswell where the aliens be. Just behind that large dark cloud is the mothership about to whisk him away for the kind of probing that will defy his worse fears, even those he was entertaining back in Quemado when he thought I might be serious about staying in an abandoned motel. Strangely, he was calm about the whole thing, telling me he felt nearly complete after enjoying that apple/green chile pie with homemade vanilla ice cream back in Pie Town.

Datil, New Mexico

All that was left was for me to tap into the VLA (Very Large Array) here in Datil to inform my overlords that the initiate was ready and happy to join the aliens for whatever adventure awaited him. Hours earlier I had been thinking I may not get along with Carlos in the long run, but now I’m almost sad to see him go.

Datil, New Mexico

This may not have been a Great Story, but it’s the one I mustered all these days after our road trip into unknown territories. At least as far as Carlos is concerned. Had I been taking notes during our outing, I might have had some factual details that didn’t veer into absurdity, but this is all I have.

Carlos Guerrero in Socorro, New Mexico

Hopefully, dinner at El Camino Restaurant in Socorro will be the elixir to revive me and allow color to return to our world. We’ve driven 376 miles to arrive in the middle of nowhere, which seemed like a great idea to me when planning this trip, but looking at Carlos here holding his head in despair, I have to question my thinking about this itinerary. Maybe it’s just an age-gap thing?