Warning: You may want to skip this chapter; it is a detour from the route you have been traveling with me on this journey. As is the case while en route to any destination, deviations from our path can be time-consuming and frustrating, leaving us wondering why we had to get caught up with the diversion in the first place. But, should you follow this big right turn, you might see something you hadn’t anticipated before leaving the well-traveled stream.

Today is Sunday, both literally and metaphorically. The previous nine days made up the longest Saturday ever. The next nine days will hopefully be the longest Sunday ever but we all know what happens Monday, so I think I’ll hang around here on an extended lazy day with nothing much to do at all. Like all Sundays, it will soon become evident that the weekend was far too short, and I will find myself wishing for another day off. Just who came up with this crazy idea that people should work five days and be afforded a mere two-day sojourn to do for themselves what needs to be done so we can repeat another week tending to tasks that often may not enrich our lives – besides the obvious monetary gain? I suppose in a society that derives so much pleasure from being a passive observer, where we use TV, the internet, or cell phones to watch others play sports, shop, eat, have sex, argue, dance, sing, fish for crab, and a multitude of other observable activities, this passive observation absolves us from full participation in our own lives, while also alleviating boredom.

While we may rarely find enough time for ourselves on weekends, we can take a big step away from routine when on vacation – should we be so brave to take that deserved and well-earned respite of recreation and relaxation. It is within our rights, even obligation, to get out and explore new places, though it is now accepted as the norm that many of us will turn over amassed vacation time back to our employer for the extra cash and skip another year of enjoying an extended break from the treadmill. How many of us are guilty of suffering from our own self-inflicted drama of delusion, where we spout that our company cannot function without us? Then there are those who find their work-a-day lives so jam-packed with responsibilities that as the vacation does roll around, the option is exercised to stay at home and “get caught up,” as though this will prove cathartic in satisfying our basic human need to know our world. And when it finally happens that we do take that well-deserved vacation, we are left bored and faced with the conundrum of what to do with ourselves and all this extra time when we have no hobbies or interests outside of our day-to-day routines.

In many of our communities, there are craft guilds, arts associations, and community colleges where we can join others in the quest to acquire new skills. The internet has brought us Meetup.com to find people with similar interests so we don’t have to go it alone. Walmart sells fishing reels 24 hours a day, but rarely will one have to compete for a good fishing hole on a weekday. A minority of us are getting better at managing our exposure to TV programs and are learning when to turn off the cell phone. More of us are practicing yoga, going to the gym, joining hiking groups, learning to play an instrument, experimenting with cooking an exotic cuisine, or brushing up on a foreign language for a trip abroad, but is this enough?

No. We all need more time to play. We need more storytellers, more photographers, artists, poets, and designers who will weave their perspectives, crafts, and knowledge into teaching narratives shared in a new, as yet uninvented, truly global social network with the potential to foster a renewed sense of community. We need to help one another learn to sing our own song, to speak of the poetry that moves us, to paint the canvas that reflects the beauty of our lives and the places explored. How do we best share our journeys and experiences so that we are nudging our families, neighbors, and communities forward?

We can begin by reigniting the passion to learn and explore. The potential gained through greater cultural and intellectual awareness enriches our lives with opportunities that become tangible as our broadened sense of interest grows. This provides us with new possibilities where music, film, foreign lands, exotic flavors, and outdoor recreation offer options to move beyond the worn and well-known. But if idle consumption and passive entertainment remain the method of filling the space between work and other responsibilities, we will continue our hamster wheel existence and never know what is just beyond our cage of routine.

I suggest you go out and document your life, your hobby, and your fun. Create your own living history, author the story of who you have been and where you have gone, and offer a peek into the potential you hold. The age of information and of being a passive observer is coming to a close; we are on the cusp of the age of knowledge and of being a participant.

Need proof? Sixty years ago, only the most intrepid adventurers explored the Colorado River; today, we do, average people. Forty years ago, a small handful of filmmakers and broadcasters created television content; today, the internet and the likes of Vimeo and YouTube are presenting an extraordinary amount of video made and broadcast by us. Thirty years ago, professional photographers, via big publishing companies, distributed their work to a broad audience; today, Flickr gives every one of us a gallery to display our work. Twenty years ago, a few music executives determined what we would hear; today, the sources and genres available exceed our ability to hear it all. Ten years ago, it was up to a small cadre of publishers to decide what we would read; today, independent bloggers on the Internet and mobile devices, such as the iPad and Kindle, are changing this relationship between authors and readers.

And now, it’s time for the last component in the equation to find change – US! It is our time to embrace the tools of eloquence and put them to work in the employ of creating our very own written and visualized body of knowledge and, when appropriate, to incorporate the shared works of our global community that can add a cultural richness through music, images, art, poetry, and story – a kind of collaborative pot-luck of expressive creativity.

First Attempt At Exiting the Detour.

Another beautiful day in this glorious Canyon. Not a lot of miles will be covered today; only five rapids will be run. There are no side canyon hikes, but still, it feels like a full day of action and fun. Caroline opted to ride a raft and joined Katrina for the half-day we were spending on the river. I was on board the Shoshone with Rondo for a leisurely day, floating past the sheer black cliffs of Vishnu Schist streaked with pink granite veins. Considering the epiphanies of yesterday, day 10 is not a foundation shaker, which is fine, as reconciling the largesse and depth of that experience is still weighing heavily on my being. I can’t stop myself from wondering whether Rondo is fully aware of the impact of Blacktail Canyon on some of his fellow travelers. Is he keeping the pace of the day to a minimum, allowing us this opportunity to sink deeper into contemplation about what the secrets of the Grand Canyon might mean?

And so it was, in the days following the trip, while at home and trying to write about day 10, that my mind would be as blank as it was this day on the river. My journal entry is, but a partial page, and my wife’s notes are just as brief compared to other days where line after line of details were written into the margins. If it weren’t for photos and video, much of the day would have been lost in the introspection I was drifting on.

There would be no monumental intrusions into my sense of the aesthetic. It is as though the volume of my mind was turned down another notch. If there was any cognitive activity that might stand out, it would be the question: is this close to where a boatman lives? Meaning, why worry about issues outside of your immediate situation that you have no bearing on and that have no bearing on you? Why analyze this relationship to the Canyon? It is what it is. And why drag who you are when at home and at work down here to the river?

Those are easy questions to answer long after the trip is over. In retrospect, it is obvious that much of who one is should be left at Lees Ferry. While still onshore, stop for meditation and cast off your mental baggage, then enter the dory with a still mind. My fear and anxiety will not guide the boatmen’s oars with any more precision than the experience they bring to their task. Start this journey without thought or expectation, and leave the over-analytical mind at home. Do not lament bad weather conditions; embrace all that presents itself. Even injuries become part of the experience that will be your story down here. As for me, this would prove a gradual awakening of awareness that would only be fully realized after leaving the Grand Canyon.

The brochure will tell you what to bring so that you might be physically prepared, but it fails to inform you of what to leave behind. Worried about the cold water? Who cares?! You are going to get wet, real wet, deep down wet, and deep down cold. But you’ll dry off, and the excitement of having made it through another rapid will distract you from the shivering. Considering using camp wipes to avoid getting into the frigid Colorado River to bathe? Forget about it! You will go in if for no other reason than that you recognize that this unique opportunity may not present itself again in your lifetime. Maybe you’re apprehensive about the metal boxes sitting riverside under the clear blue sky, you know, the Unit? Throw out your worry, walk up boldly, drop your pants midstride, and sing a song to celebrate what you are about to do. Nobody cares that you are using an outdoor, visible-to-the-world toilet, and should you have the gumption to sing, you are likely adding one more moment of magic to the story others will share with friends when they get home and relate the story of the singing crapper who would perch at dawn, chirping a song of glee.

A popular refrain from those we told of our adventure was that they would not be comfortable camping for this duration or – in some cases – any duration! To them, I have to say it is nothing more than the internal dialogue that stops you from embracing the new that stretches you outside of your comfort zone. It is possible that you will never see why you should have broken through your shell of isolation from nature or even your distance from yourself. But there is also a chance that before you pass through this life, you will awaken to this very human desire to connect with nature, to have done something that you thought to be beyond your capability, beyond your fear of the unknown.

Our brief lives, as counted by the number of days, may appear short, but the number of moments is incomprehensibly large. Earlier, I explained how we have roughly 29,000 days of life; counted as seconds, this amounts to approximately 2 billion of those fleeting moments. While this is a grand number in comparison, the experiences we extract from them, will often only amount to but a few isolated moments that stand out as extraordinary. If this is acceptable to you, then, by all means, go on about your life of routine, but should this strike a chord and resonate within you, embrace each day, each moment, and make the most of it. If your work is mundane, spend a half-hour a day learning a new skill, craft, or language. Ask for more time off and go on a hike or go skiing. Have you turned 40 and needed something challenging that you never thought you’d do? Take surfing or scuba lessons, and get on a skateboard before your hips and knees stop you from trying. Take cooking classes, learn to edit videos, pick up the harmonica, garden, or learn to knit.

Wondering if you might be interested in a few days of snowshoeing in Yellowstone? Go to YouTube and search for “How to snowshoe.” Think you might have the inclination to better express yourself in the digital realm? The websites Video2Brain.com and Lynda.com offer online training for dozens of creative software titles. Have you ever heard of the John C. Campbell Folk School? Maybe now is the time to check it out and consider learning something about blacksmithing, broom making, tanning leather, woodworking, or a number of other folk arts and crafts. Going to Florida any time soon? Ever been kayaking? There are terrific calm waters on the Gulf and Atlantic coasts to learn on. For almost everything we could consider doing these days, there are free online tutorial videos or websites that will start us on our way.

By The Way – We Are Detouring Again.

The point is many of us sit at home or work dreaming of what we would do someday if only we had the time and money. But what if those two conditions are never in perfect alignment? For my wife and I, this became a matter of forcing the conditions. If the money wasn’t there, we would travel close to home and stay in the cheapest motel in the smallest town we could find. If time was the limiting factor, we would leave Friday night, knowing we would be comfortable driving a maximum of five hours. This would let us spread out in nearly any direction to a distance of about 300 miles. It has not been beyond us to jump in the car at 4:30 in the morning on a Saturday to drive west to California, arriving in Los Angeles mid-morning. We would have enough time to visit Little Tokyo, Chinatown, and Hollywood, and then finish the afternoon with a walk on 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica to find dinner before a quick stroll on the beach. With the evening upon us, we would point the car east for the 390-mile drive back to Phoenix, with several coffee breaks to keep us going. Sure, we were exhausted when we got home, but with only one free day, we were happy to stuff three days’ worth of fun into it.

Once in the habit of extracting more from less, it became apparent that frugality was taking us on a path of riches, while economically, we were surviving on the single income of a web programmer. The thing is – when the two of us worked, we had little free time and even less ambition to throw ourselves at the task of making plans. Downsizing from conspicuous to experiential consumption, our lives found a groove that delivered a more consistent sense of fun and satisfaction. We stopped collecting stuff that only took up space on a shelf and started a more focused effort at finding tools that we could learn from or that would lend themselves to helping us better express ourselves. A loom and a spinning wheel, a fermentation crock, and a food dehydrator moved in. Things that required more than a single push of a button on a remote control became increasingly interesting. Television was becoming less and less important and was finally moved from the backseat to a thrift store. Hiking, snorkeling, exploring our environment, these things were taking the wheel up in the front seat. Our internet connection became our lifeline to determining distances between points of interest. It could direct us to inexpensive lodgings and show us what there was to find in any geographic area that attracted our curiosity. In moments, we knew about the best and funkiest restaurants, favorite trails, and roadside curiosities. Online would also be where we would have our first encounter with dories. That chance meeting was the material of dreams – only not ours at the time. As far as we could tell, dories existed for a class of wealthy people who went on expensive, exotic adventures; to us, this looked distant and near impossible. To our eyes, a whitewater rafting trip with dories on the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon was a journey too far beyond our reach and the cost too far beyond justification.

And yet, incrementally and slowly, we ventured further and further away from the thoughts and things that limited the scope of our wildest dreams. Within a few years, we visited 50, then 100, and before long, more than 150 National Parks and Monuments. A visit to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan completed our goal of visiting the entirety of the continental United States – and not just by dropping into an airport. We were becoming familiar with the three coastal regions, crossing (and, on occasion, stepping into) America’s major waterways, visiting the White House, standing in the crown of the Statue of Liberty, or in Lebanon, Kansas, the geographical center of the U.S. – the more we saw, the more we wanted to see. Our overarching familiarity with the breadth of this land awakened our desire to discover more of the granularity of what created the whole.

Every day and every weekend became precious. We knew to request the days before and after long Holiday weekends well in advance – before coworkers figured out what they might be doing at that time. At Christmas, we put in for days off around Memorial Day and the Fourth of July. In early spring, we requested a couple of days off around Labor Day. Near Memorial Day, it was time to request the days off around Thanksgiving, and as Independence Day rolled around, we put in for time off at Christmas and New Year’s. We often had no idea what we would be doing on these short four-, five-, and six-day vacations, but now we had something to plan toward. Holidays that fell on Thursdays and Tuesdays, when the company was likely to kick in Friday or Monday as a bonus day off, became coveted holiday weeks. Our determination never waned when thinking of making another request, the three days before or after the holiday, that would give us a nine-day window for a vacation that only necessitated taking three days of personal time off. With proper planning, we could turn 17 days of PTO into 45 days of vacation during a single year. Add the occasional weekend, and we could find ourselves traveling between 60 to almost 80 days a year exploring the U.S. – and who says Europeans get more vacation?

Attention: Numbers Ahead.

So here we are; we figured out the time part of the equation, but what about the disposable income? My wife and I have yet to own a cell phone, nor do we watch TV anymore. These two facts alone have saved us no less than $25,000 since the year 2000. We do not look at expenses as monthly occurrences; they are yearly, decadal, and lifetime costs to our happiness. Here’s the breakdown: two cell phones at $70 per month cost $1,680 per year, that is $16,800 every ten years, assuming zero inflation, or a cool $100,800 from the time you turn 20 until your 80th birthday.

We make do with one car. At times, this is an inconvenience, and on occasion, situations have arisen requiring us to rent a car, sometimes for a month or more. Still, we have learned how to coordinate appointments, activities, and even work schedules during the many years of our long relationship. Here, the savings have been extraordinary. If we had indulged ourselves in owning two cars over the last decade, more than likely, we would have had to replace that car at least once. Thus the car purchased in the year 2000 would have been replaced around the year 2005. Had we purchased cheap vehicles costing $15,000 each and not financed them but instead paid cash, we would have committed to a $30,000 outlay – there are already enough numbers here without adding finance charges. Add $7,000 for insurance during those ten years, plus $120 of gasoline per month, adding up to $15,400 of fuel costs per ten years. With oil changes, tire replacement, brake jobs, car washes, routine maintenance, and other miscellaneous costs, you add at least another $500 per year. The sum of these costs: a whopping extra $57,400 for owning a second car. I appreciate that this is not tenable for a family of four with doctor appointments, school programs, pets suffering an illness, and all the other demands put on us by busy schedules, but I also have known many a young family to overextend themselves with pricey cars that serve demanding egos more than any transportation needs.

Look at the total cost of owning and maintaining a second car, the cell phones, a cable bill, TV, and these things for the two of us would cost close to $75,000 – every ten years. Thinking you don’t earn that kind of disposable income? Consider that if you make, on average, $25,000 per year from the time you turn 25 until retirement at 65, you will have earned $1,000,000 over the course of your career. Your lifelong contribution to the financial world is quite extraordinary; it should be to you, too.

How many people in America have $75,000 put away for retirement? How many people spend that every ten years on vacations? Because incremental monthly expenses fit into people’s budgets so easily, they are considered to be a minor ding to their overall income. One day, the consumer pays a contracted fee of $50 or $60, followed by 29 days of pleasure – the equation is simple. And this is what the vendors and corporations who supply these services need us to feel: that the costs we incur are but a small fraction of our monthly budget and, hence, are worth it.

Warning: Dangerous Curve. Seriously, This Detour Is Far From The River.

Sorry, just one more indulgence with the numbers. As an exercise for myself and, subsequently, a blog I was ghostwriting for, I looked at the cost of conventionally and organically grown foods versus processed frozen meals, along with restaurants, both sit-down and fast food. I wanted to know just how much more expensive it was for my wife and I to eat locally grown, all-natural products. What I learned shocked me.

I, probably much like many others, thought I was spending a good premium to indulge my palate with organic foods. Anyone who has ever shopped at Whole Foods knows what a single bag of groceries can cost there. It would be folly to argue otherwise, or would it? My first step was to find what I thought was the cheapest possible meal, starting with what is typically our biggest meal of the day – dinner. Don’t suggest the dollar menu – three items and tax is over $3.00. I needed to go to the king of low prices – Walmart. At the time I wrote my article, a Marie Callender’s frozen meal of Salisbury Steak with Potatoes and Green Beans was costing $2.77 on sale. How could anyone compete with a fourteen-ounce box of frozen instant gratification? Well, let’s look at what your money buys; two and a half ounces of meat, almost eleven ounces of veggies, the rest I assumed was the gravy.

In season, you can find organic green beans for about $3.00 a pound, organic carrots as low as $1.00 a pound, and organic potatoes sell for the whopping price of $1.50 a pound – compared to conventionally grown potatoes that are often on sale for as little as $1.00 for a ten-pound bag, or just 10 cents a pound. Conventionally raised chicken is cheap at $1.59 a pound when compared to those free-range organic pullets yanking $4.25 a pound from your wallet. From all-organic ingredients, I prepared a meal similar to the frozen dish for comparison: thirteen ounces of fresh veggies consisting of four ounces of carrots, three ounces of green beans, and six ounces of potatoes, plus a four-ounce piece of chicken, small but probably reasonable. This calculates to 42 cents for the carrots, 56 cents for the green beans, 66 cents for potatoes, and $1.06 for our happy all-natural chicken. This fresh, healthy meal costs us $2.70 – how can this be? We saved seven cents compared to the Marie Callender’s meal and are eating organic food that has never been processed or frozen. This is about a pound of food for dinner. How much would we pay for this meal in a cafe? $7.95, maybe $10.95? If it were organic, like I prepared here, this meal would likely cost us between $12.95 and up to $21.95 if the chicken is bathed in a 60-cent drizzle of honey balsamic reduction.

For the sake of truth, our $2.70 cost is indeed on the pricey side, as the meal prepared with conventionally grown meat and produce costs only $1.55 a portion, or about the cost of a medium order of fries from McDonald’s. One more example, and I’ll stop this part of the number stuff and start to bring this all together with a point. Maybe you have heard of Meatless Mondays? The initiative was started by marketing professional Sid Lerner in association with the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health back in 2003. The idea is to focus on making healthier decisions for our diet one day a week, with the side benefit of greatly reducing the impact on our environment due to the water and energy needs of supplying meat. But there are more benefits than just those. Let’s concoct a mostly organic Meatless Monday meal plan, starting with a breakfast of two eggs and four ounces of potatoes for a cost of $1.19. At midday, we’ll have a grilled cheese on 9-grain bread and a banana; lunch costs 69 cents. Dinner for our hypothetical Meatless Monday will be 3 ounces of sautéed green beans with onions and garlic, 4 ounces of sliced tomatoes, 2½ ounces of steamed carrots, a side of roasted peppers, and a few ounces of steamed brown rice for a total price of $3.04. Our food bill per person for a Meatless Monday would be $4.92, while that Number One Combo of Double Burger, Fries, and a Drink at our favorite burger joint costs $5.75 plus tax – for one meal.

Maybe I’ve grabbed your attention, and you are starting to wonder if this could be true; as Mr. Reagan said, “Trust but verify.” Without being saints and living in strict austerity, we can make changes, dramatic changes, in our food budget while eating healthier. Maybe we only start with Mondays, but if we were to seriously consider how we are spending our food dollars, we could begin to save thousands per year and start moving away from convenience and closer to healthy. The added benefit is that we will find more money in our bank accounts for the really important stuff.

Of course, there are the time requirements to shop, cook, and clean, which I have not added to my calculations – but I’m not looking for convenience; I’m looking for luxury. If we can learn to live comfortably, and one of us in a relationship has the time to visit local farmers markets, cook, care for the car, take care of banking, laundry, house cleaning, and the other household necessities while our spouse or partner is at the nine to five, we then find the time to research cheap motels for a weekend getaway and monitor cheap flights to New York City, Florida, Seattle, Paris or London. We can find upcoming events or workshops that are happening in the next few months. Classes, concerts, opportunities to volunteer, or other means that can enrich our lives can be found and planned for – with this, I’m on a path to luxury. This is obviously more difficult for a single person. Better time management might need to be practiced. Take a weekend a month to prepare a couple dozen meals that can be frozen. Connect with like-minded people who can share travel, entertainment, education opportunities, and tips for what’s coming up in your community. Tell your friends to tweet about useful stuff and forget telling you about the trivialities of the day.

Think about this: is life supposed to be about convenience, or should we bask in luxury? Down in the Grand Canyon, we sacrificed some convenience in order to live in luxury. To spend more than a week snowshoeing in Yellowstone two years in a row, my wife and I had to make sacrifices – each of them usually around a convenience. The person who wants to start their own company knows success comes from sacrifice, little convenience, and lots of hard work. Shortcuts typically do not work when one is striving for accomplishment. To get to the top of Everest, there is but one path. So why is it that when it comes to our private lives, we can justify our lack of inertia with a litany of reasons why we must indulge our cravings for convenience? Convenience is the biggest impediment to finding luxury unless you are already wealthy, with a bank account full of idle cash.

What kind of unrealistic life expectations do we entertain, and what are the repercussions of living under the tension that instant gratification should always be within our grasp? Is happiness really just a purchase, a candy bar, or a beer away? Can isolation, depression, or tragedy be fended off by exercising the credit card on late-night internet shopping? Does splurging for dinner, or even a cheap fast food drive-thru after a hard day, offer anything more than a momentary convenience of immediacy that will be nothing more than so much excrement in 24 hours?

Wonderful experiences are not forgotten in an hour or a day; should we be lucky, they will pay dividends to the memory by enriching our lives in the years ahead. Who forgets what it was like learning a major new skill like skiing or snowboarding or the first time they went to Disneyland? What about that first concert we went to as a teen or our first love? Experience is everything, but if we become distracted by a habit of convenience, giving in to moments of instant gratification, our ability to focus on longer-term projects, plans, and epic adventures are never realized. We are conditioned to want and demand our pleasure with an unrealistic immediacy. We want it now.

Patience, persistence, and prudence bring us closer to realizing big dreams. Big dreams are the domain of humanity. During the long history of our developmental stages, humankind has acted like a giant, nearly cohesive unit, building the tools that have allowed us to explore our world and invent processes that have delivered shelter, clothing, warmth, running water, and better access to food. Communication on a global scale is being transmitted by invisible frequencies rippling through the air around us, and the world of knowledge is brought directly into our homes via little copper wires or pulses of light through a strand of glass. But things are changing. We are moving away from the mass of bodies that once were required to build railroads and ships; we no longer employ swarms of people to cultivate crops. The big dream of the new frontier is self-actualization through experiential economic activities and greater personal expression. If an aspiring author wants to bring a story of, say, “Mountain Biking in Mongolia” to the social network of knowledge, it will be with the understanding that instead of buying another energy drink and a pack of smokes, this person is going to have to recognize the value of those $9.00 in bringing them closer to their goal. Humankind has always made sacrifices to succeed, and the last few decades have witnessed many of us losing sight of that struggle – and its rewards.

The newest new economy, from my perspective, will be that of experience and sharing our intellectual resources. It will be our spin on how we perceive where we have been and what we have accomplished, given our limited resources of time for learning and experience. We will move away from the consumption of stuff that fills our homes to buying the tools that allow us to explore our minds and, in turn, offer our perspective to others who may not have access to a wealth of creativity and resources that would allow them to travel our world, or visit diverse locations to learn new arts and crafts. Maybe you have a favorite village and pub in Ireland you think your friends might enjoy – why just speak of the details privately? Why not tell the story in photos, video, the written word, and music, all wrapped up in a digital multiformat narrative? Our opportunity for distribution is global. We no longer require gatekeepers, publishers, or agents, as the internet is allowing everyone to enter the world market.

Should we find ourselves in Peru, watching weavers working their backstrap looms, how will we share with others how these artists exercised their craft? Mind you, we need not go far from home. Maybe near our neck of the woods, we have a rails-to-trails program, where an old, unused rail line was replaced with a foot and biking path that meanders through a beautiful corner of our community. Just because you know it is out there doesn’t mean others know it exists. Who will share it with those people from around the world who may never have the opportunity to visit such a place in North Carolina or Cambodia?

Let’s bring all this together. We have limited amounts of time and money. We have the potential to participate in and find new experiences. Many of us spend an excessive amount of our lives giving in to convenience and instant gratification. What will it take to bring us to the recognition of what the value of play is, and how can we begin to move away from the complacency of routine? When will we embrace the precious commodity of life we have been allotted and see the value in the tools of participation that might allow us to achieve a more dignified means of expression than the addition of a beer tap in the man cave?

How many of us justify our possessions as a reward for our efforts and sacrifices made due to what we see as the demands of a job robbing us of our time? We ourselves rob this time by not demanding more financial discipline and better management of our personal resources. Many people will remain in a state of dissatisfaction while putting on all the accouterments we are being told will bring us to consumption nirvana. And when those things don’t deliver, it’s too easy to turn to pharmaceuticals that can massage the way forward to happiness. But for many of us, this isn’t working. And it isn’t working because we are creatures with two legs and two eyes, who are incredibly well adapted to learning and exploring and then using our powers of recollection and language to tell stories and grow. Many of us are not doing this today. We are sitting around, postponing the big things so we don’t have to make an effort while floundering in instant gratification and conveniences, waiting for that wonderful something that never arrives.

The story from a reality television show or a Super Bowl should only have a brief place in our lives. It may be a nice distraction for a short time to share this collective, cohesive moment in a large community, but don’t forget that we are also individuals worthy of our own personal television shows featuring the best of our reality, our lives, and our families. We could document our own version of the Super Bowl in which we present our best moves and our best performances. These would be living documentaries chronicling our adventures. Upon our passing, they would find a place in our family heritage, adding depth to our descendant’s understanding of who their ancestors were. We then become the heroes of our own stories and encourage others to be as well. Grandma’s wisdom would live on.

The quality of what I offer here may not measure up to the entertainment brought on by the words penned by J.K. Rowling, the art of Van Gogh, the narrative of Ken Burns’ documentaries, or any of the number of unknown artists yet to present their palette of expression. These are my reflections on a time when a man found himself in the middle of wild nature and was inspired and compelled to record a representation of that image. These words are my petroglyphs, my cave paintings, my mark on history.

Back To The Story – Again.

Following our leisurely morning, we have one big rapid to run before making for shore to fix lunch and set up camp. Deubendorff, also known as Dubie, is an awfully long-looking rapid that stretches far and wide in a broad expanse of the Canyon. During the fall, when days are short, the cold river most always carries a brisk slap to the senses. But where the sun falls upon crew and passengers after leaving a rapid, its warming rays keep the shivers at bay. Rondo expertly delivers the Shoshone with expert aplomb, allowing us, fore and aft, to remain dry and toasty. We pull into Stone Creek Camp at mile 132. This will be a layover stop, so not only are we at camp early, but we’ll stay here two nights, allowing us to relax, take in a hike tomorrow morning, and have that rare opportunity to become a little more familiar with our surroundings.

While the crew prepares lunch we busy ourselves to once again find the perfect campsite and pitch our tent. The beach here is enormous, giving everyone ample room to spread out. Having the rest of the day free, we are moving rather slowly. The trumpeting conch shell calls us to the lunch table for sandwiches, fruit, and cookies. From midday to early evening, the second half of this day creeps on by. Besides doing some laundry and Caroline catching her second river bath in ten days, we are doing pretty much nothing at all. Looking back now, I can’t recall if we reorganized dry bags, talked with fellow passengers, or just stared at rocks. Probably stared at rocks – and prepared for the evening’s festivities.

Halloween in the Grand Canyon does not preclude the need to don a costume; we had been warned a couple of days ago. No costume, no dinner. Suppose twigs in the hair may have sufficed as being in the costume of a bush. Lucky for us, Kenney travels with a large overstuffed duffel bag filled with bits and pieces of costumes and soon has set up shop on a large tarp for anyone in need of special attire to join in the party. Pirate Rondo brought along plastic Jack-O’-Lantern heads complete with battery-powered lights. Caroline and I had been hiding a pumpkin head filled with candy in our dry bag just for this day. With us campers now bedecked in our frightful best, we grab the candy-filled squash to storm the camp of a private trip, not far upriver, and do a reverse trick-or-treat by giving away our hoard of sweet treasure.

After dinner, our neighbors, rafters from Maine and Canada, join us around our large fire. The luxury of having two guitars, a mandolin, and more than one singing voice makes for a great party. Things get lively, and with drinks, fire, dance, song, and merriment, we celebrate on the eve of All Saints, bringing the last day of October to a close. Tomorrow will be Monday for many outside this Canyon, but it will be another Sunday for those of us down here. Long live the perpetual weekend.

–From my book titled: Stay In The Magic – A Voyage Into The Beauty Of The Grand Canyon about our journey down the Colorado back in late 2010.

I wake up and head to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. On my return to the tent, I find one of the hikers we shared camp with last night sitting riverside on a large rock. After a demanding hike down the South Bass Trail yesterday, a group of four backpackers quietly set up tents off to the side of our camp and prepared their dinner. The affable guy basking in the early morning light offers a “Hello,” which I return with a wish for a good morning. I ask how their hike has been going, “Tough” is his reply. He asks about the dories, “Amazing,” I offer in return. He introduces himself as Bill Karren. With coffee in hand, we learn where each other comes from: I from Phoenix, Arizona, he from Las Vegas, Nevada. Bill and his nephew Robert are traveling with a friend and his wife. They are here for a long weekend. It appears they, too, have fallen prey to the Canyon. Bill offers up that he has spent quite some time in the Canyon, especially on the rim. This begs my curiosity as to what specifically has drawn him in. It turns out Bill was the lead engineer of the Skywalk out at Grand Canyon West on the Hualapai Reservation. The Skywalk is a massive, million-pound, horseshoe-shaped platform, extending 70 feet off a sheer ledge, standing 4,000 feet over the Colorado River with a view through its clear-glass floor to the Canyon bottom below.

I had made a commitment to myself prior to departing for the Canyon that talks of careers and previous adventures were not going to be part of my dialogue. I would stay in the moment of being in the Canyon without the outside world intruding upon my experience. And so I fight back my rising geeky curiosity and politely refrain from asking Bill for some details or trivia that would take him back to work and out of his own moment of watching the light of day climb into the Canyon with the sounds of Bass Rapid filling the air. I wish him a good day and continue on my way, reminded that we never know who we might meet along our path in life and to not be afraid of saying hello to the people we pass on our journeys.

Within the hour, we break camp and board the dories. It is river time again! In no time, we are leveling the puny Bass Rapid before striding past the mouth of Shinumo Creek and Shinumo Rapid. At 110 Mile Rapid, the river performance award of the day would go to Sarge, who crawled out on the bow of Bruce’s dory. With a roaring hoot and a holler and his feet kicking wildly, Sarge rode the front of Bruce’s dory like a rodeo champ atop an angry bull. His inspired ride arrested everybody’s attention, while his song of yelping delight allowed the rest of us to share in his thrills. Should you one day find yourself on a wild river, retired, in your 60s, with a boatman who invites one of the passengers to take a bow ride, picture and remember this former officer of the law sitting out front on the bow of the dory with feet dangling, bellowing a shriek of gut-busting fun, laughing out loud, full of wild abandon. Remember to get out there on center stage and live it up.

Here a rapid, there a rapid, and in between, I yearn to pull out my camera that is everything but waterproof. The dry bag holding my camera and an extra zoom lens is buried in the dory’s watertight hatch; as the danger of the rapids passes, I dare to pull it out. The timing of this is critical, as I don’t want to be caught fumbling with the repacking of the fragile gear and fail to get it stowed before entering the next stretch of whitewater. At times, we can hear the rapid around the next river bend before we can see it. Other rapids are not heard or seen, but the boatman knows it’s approaching, alerting me to stow the camera.

We pass Copper Canyon without incident, followed by Hakatai Canyon and its rapid, leaving just one more mile until we reach the often difficult run at Waltenburg Canyon. This is another rapid the boatmen will scout. Whether they will read it as being a giant, maybe a little unpredictable, having a big dangerous hole, holding the potential for a collision course with a wall of stone, or an all-of-the-above rapid, I don’t want to know. Do you ever get the feeling after seeing a movie trailer that you just witnessed the entire film, canceling the need to see the other 89 minutes? To me, it is more exciting to enter the rapids without the knowledge of what is about to crash into us. I do not want to hear the boatmen’s assessment or watch them point to the really dangerous sections as, once on the river, a part of my attention would then be diverted to watching the technical precision exercised by the boatmen and how they handle the river’s rage. Right now, I am here for the ride, wanting to walk into this experience clear of expectations other than the unvarnished curiosity to be in the here and now. And this blockbuster titled Waltenburg Rapid? It played well with a strong opening wave; my attention was held through the frothing middle section before rowing into calm waters to deliver a great ending. As the credits roll, we applaud the director at the helm of our dory; the lighting guy in the sky was on it, and the effects supervisor produced whitewater thrills worthy of an Oscar. Special thanks to the producers of this great action adventure over at Grand Canyon Dories and the O.A.R.S. Company – bravo.

Four miles of calm water follow. This is one of the longest stretches of slow-going river in days. On these quiet, still waters, the Canyon is revealed while we drift like a cloud, silently skimming the earth on a slow boat into the mysteries. There is nowhere to rush to, nothing requiring us to brace against a cold splash of an approaching rapid. We do not know our destination, sticking with the theme of remaining indecisive to have the greatest flexibility. Secure in the knowledge that we will stop at what looks promising to the boatmen, we sit back and crane our necks to give our senses the best shot at finding all of the color, texture, sound, and detail that can be had in this place, where so much can be experienced in the blink of an eye.

On river left, I spot an astounding sight: the dry drainage channel of a cascade. It is easily apparent from the smooth-sloping Vishnu Schist that a powerful and abrasive torrent of rushing water has been occurring here during the rainy seasons. Not only is this metamorphic rock being polished to a finish as smooth as marble, but there is also an orchestra section of flutes sitting at the foot of this periodic waterfall. How I wish to return on one of those rare days when the flow of nature’s stormy rhythm is at full volume.

How could I truly share or quantify the expansive magnificence of a landscape my mind is trying to interpret? How does one build a visual narrative when our words manacle allusions of beauty to an impoverished language that struggles to convey what the eyes and mind are able to perceive? The only conceivable solution is for others to put themselves in the time and place where perfection will be witnessed but not contained, not imprisoned, and, ultimately, will not be truly shareable. We must get out of our own way and, on occasion, find ourselves in the unfamiliar.

Is the boat slowing, the river taking a pause, or is time being pulled into the slow gravitational heft exerted by the Grand Canyon’s weight of beauty? From rim to talus slope, from the edge of the silty river to the crisp blue sky punctuated with white tufts of cloud, the gradations of earth’s rainbow radiate flowing layers of color and sound directly to the sense organs that give us humans the ability to be awed in fascination. I stand transfixed, unable to break my hypnotic gaze after the logical mind takes an exit. The daydream of the child is reawakened. I am without the need for thought or critical analysis as I find and bask in this escape from a harried life that requires me to be nowhere and everywhere at once.

Let this be my heaven, my nirvana, my eternal resting place. To forever find myself floating, content, caressed by a beauty embracing my physical and spiritual being. Grant me my wishes and perceptions as I try to remember what perfection could look like. If this isn’t my last stop in life, then let time stand still another moment, offering this faint sound of water flowing, the breeze whispering, a bird’s wing flapping, and the warmth of Caroline’s hand holding mine. Time to exit the boats.

One short scramble for humankind, another new world for my imagination. A quick hike brings us to a living room-sized canyon stuffed into a small corner, tucked away out of sight, a universe away from modern reality. Elves Chasm, a wishing well and pool of eternal solitude where nature, without the help of man, brought a dalliance of beauty into being with its exquisite waterfall, mysterious dark corners, flowing green mosses, and ferns. For thousands of years prior to man’s recent arrival, it was appreciated by birds, lizards, butterflies, and spiders. By the time Elves Chasm was finished preening itself to this current state of preeminence, man would stumble into its chamber to be given a lesson in the definition of tremendous. Standing here, as one of the twenty-two visitors and possibly the only group that will stop today, it is glaringly obvious I must have won the lottery of golden opportunity. Consider that every sixty days, a million people, on average, visit the rims of the Grand Canyon, almost a mile above, while less than 15,000 people a year will ever have the chance to stand here.

I try to understand this conglomeration of beauty accumulating with each successive impression of delight, stirring my sense of the aesthetic. It is as though I have become entangled in the DNA of the Grand Canyon, which is drawing me in to share its hidden secrets, wrapping me in its code of sensual awareness. Finding myself in this spiritual accretion, I let it take hold of me, shuddering under its enormous mass, which acts as an amplifier of who I am. I come in with love and feel it grow, magnified by the immensity of the place I stand before. Entering with an awareness of the excitement brought by adventure, the exponential growth of that desire propels me into a life where adventure rules – see boatmen for confirmation of this maxim. This echo chamber resonates with my thoughts and dreams. My tears join others’ tears to run down the chasm walls. My joys fall over slopes and across boulders until the emotional wave of intensity pulls me into the depths of the river called Self. My lungs fill to bursting capacity, forcing out a gasp of astonishment that all of this is happening to me.

Andrea goes first, diving under the surface at the foot of the waterfall to check its depths, declaring it safe for anyone interested in leaping from the slippery ledge halfway up the slot wall. She swims over to a dark recess to the right of the waterfall and climbs up behind the wedged-in boulders, emerging on a shelf above. Once situated on the lower boulder, she leaps off to plunge right back into the chilly waters. Caroline watches a few others make the jump before wrestling with her uncertainty to determine if this is something she has the nerve for. She finds her courage and swims through the pool, crawls up under the boulder, and in a moment, my wife stands on the precipice and leaps; popping out of the water below, she is all smiles.

Having seen all that we can see at Elves Chasm during our short visit, we depart on the short 10-minute hike back to the dories. The next stop comes but a few miles downstream. After landing on a wide beach, Rondo demands our attention and offers guidance regarding our next actions. He asks that we show consideration and be respectful of this special location. Here, Native Americans walk in veneration. Under the watchful eye of nature, we are about to pay homage to the spirit of the Canyon.

In quick procession, we begin our hike into Blacktail Canyon without a word being spoken, not a whisper exchanged. The path leads over a short hill, delivering us to a drainage and our first glimpse up this side canyon. The trail narrows rapidly before disappearing around a bend further ahead. Gravel gives way to larger river rocks, demanding we watch our footing as we follow the person in front of us. We are moving away from the sounds of the Colorado, walking into where the silence grows. Sunlight becomes scarce, finding it gradually more difficult to shine its way beyond the closing gap above this slot canyon.

Up ahead, Bruce stops and waits for the group to gather around. We are standing on the Great Unconformity, which, for my sake, should have been called the Great Mysterious Mind-Boggling Unconformity of Astonishment. There, right before my face and within my grasp, I reach out to touch the transition from Vishnu Schist to Tapeats Sandstone. My hand straddles that vast period of missing time, bridging the gap between unicellular life and the beginning of the era of multicellular life that would give rise to fish, plants, birds, bees, dinosaurs, and now us.

From here, still, not far from the Colorado, we continue on our way deeper into the side canyon. The dark walls stand next to us like parentheses, bracketing our trail carved by the numerous flash floods that cut these curves into the layer of Vishnu Schist. Ribs of white quartz thrust upwards through this hard metamorphic rock, giving the appearance that we are walking inside a whale.

A bit further, the narrow path opens into a chamber, my eyes drawn to the majestic elegance of the sculpted walls rising like pillars to the sky. We have entered Earth’s cathedral. Reverence takes hold of our pace, slowly pulling us into the realm of the spirits that inhabit this hall of the eternal. Without exaggeration, a pin drop would be out of place. I have never before been witness to a group this size moving with such quiet as to not let a single sound escape. It looks as though everyone walks alone, the cluster of bodies having pulled in separate directions, giving each individual the space to share a part of the essence one and all must surely be feeling. Heads tilt upward before the eyes trace contours back down to the canyon floor and the small stream that flows over it. The concentrated silence adds to the sense of the holy by anointing us with mute appreciation that such a place still exists in our busy world.

Partway into the Canyon, Katrina, and Jeffe, with guitars and mandolin by their sides, take up seats on a couple of large boulders. They are waiting for us to finish our exploration and return to this passage for a short concert. Most everyone stopped here, or so was my impression since after passing them, there were only a few people ahead of me. Whether the others continued to the end and turned around, I don’t know; I am too preoccupied with my own overwhelmed senses climbing back into the history of the Earth, being drawn in further and deeper. The cragged contours above us appear oddly symmetrical. Turning the corner, a final short walk will bring me to the end of the trail, but not the end of the story.

Here within Blacktail Canyon, far away from our distant sun, deep in the geology of our planet, I walk up to the edge of a small pool. A few feet above my head, a wisp of a waterfall glides through a channel carved into the Tapeats Sandstone to trickle down the rock face and onto the multi-hued Vishnu Schist. I reach out to touch the flow; it is warm. Like the water falling before us, I fall into awe as the feeling rises in me that I am standing before the single most beautiful place I have ever been. Emotions start to swell. I’m struck by the idea that I am in the presence of the very act of creation. Is this a picture of life’s beginnings: water, shade, minerals, warmth, oxygen, and time? In my imagination, that anonymous place where life began its evolutionary trajectory could have looked something like this.

On my right, a small seep gently percolates a carbonate solution, as evidenced by the travertine growing on the wall below. On the left, a drip from high above strikes a ledge, splashing tiny water drops upon my face. If I were below the Earth’s surface in a cave, I would feel that the droplets I had received were good luck kisses. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, bringing the salt of Earth back to the waters that are essential to this circle of life. In front of and above me are the deposits of sand and earth, fossil and rock, representing hundreds of millions of years of evolution that have preceded my own brief time. I attempt to grasp the idea that within each inch of rock, a history of life’s progress can be found.

I search for myself in this soup of biological and geologic history, feeling the spirit of life abounding, exploding within me, one hundred trillion cells, an amalgamation of water, flesh, heat, minerals, bacteria, gases, and a handful of ephemeral, intangible thoughts, imagination, and dreams, struggling to find comprehension. My poor brain is overcome by emotion, nudging me towards weeping – the tears don’t stop. This sense of life has never resonated so strongly within me. My encounter with Blacktail Canyon has opened the floodgates to finding the spirit of life that embodies all that is around and within. I am reminded of the Navajo prayer paraphrased here as, “Beauty before me, beauty below me, beauty all around me, I walk in beauty.” Today, I am alive in that beauty.

I could have stood there forever – maybe I still am. Maybe a part of me will never leave. Did my falling tears evaporate and ascend to the clouds, or did they join the stream to flow into the Colorado and points beyond? Maybe they are on their way to help grow food, or maybe they will add to the drink of another human, plant, or animal, helping sustain life outside this isolated Canyon. Ultimately, my tears and the rest of me will rejoin this earth that has borne me. Knowing that I am returning to my origin in this cycle of life gives dimension to my presence and a better sense of perspective regarding the brevity of my existence laid bare right before my eyes today.

On that last day, when I lay down my life, I hope to know what my contribution has been. I would like to believe that I helped improve the blueprint that brings smiles to our faces, warmth to our hearts and that swirling, giddy sense that we are seeing the beauty in all that is around us, in each and every one of our hearts and dreams. I now see our happiness and fulfillment as more like these fossil layers, slices of experience that are lending themselves to the structure of what I loosely understand as life. You, me, us, them, it, this thing, that object, we all are built in this stack of life, one upon the other like so much sandstone.

Take the time now, do it when you are young, teach your children, and find it when you are older, but don’t ignore the magic of being alive, don’t pass by the opportunities to learn that beauty is not only what the eyes deliver, but, more than that, beauty is what you find within yourself. Is it the flower that inspires that intrinsic value of delight, or is it the very moment in your mind when you have given into accepting that it is, in fact, beautiful? How is an individual flower petal more or less beautiful than any one of the faces you looked upon today? Why are the mountains more attractive than the individual grains of sand that erode from them? What if all the beauty imaginable were to be found in sand? What ecstasy might you hold with a single handful picked up from the beach?

Beauty is there, you once knew it, and our youngest children can still find it. In the grass on a dewy morning, get down on all fours, then lay down. Bring your face close and focus an eye on a lone blade of grass, one that has some dew clinging fast. Now, look into a single drop at the refraction of the surrounding grass blades and sky you are seeing in that tiny orb. It is only water and grass when seen from afar, where you have no need to describe the unseen as beautiful or ugly, but when time and perspective slow down the rush to opinion, we just might see beauty in the mundane. Reconsider how quick we are to give a brand of aesthetic quality to many of the things and people we meet and see. Try to understand that our fossilized remains in a future sandstone layer will not be seen or appreciated for how rich we were or how we appeared to others. We should hope our contribution to life will be known from the qualities and values we embrace and, if we are lucky, by how we improve the planet we live on. We must learn new ways to celebrate this life and help one another find the moments to visit our own personal version of Blacktail Canyon to look deep into who we are.

Next, explore the meaning and value of time. While we are still able to see, walk, talk, read, write, learn, play, and think – recognize that our time is short. Not depressingly short, but certainly soberingly brief. The math is simple. How long do you think you might have on this Earth as a sentient being? 75, 80, 90 years? I’ll cross my fingers and opt for a good, productive 80 years. Multiply the number you come up with by 365, the number of days in a year. My calculation, using 80 years, gives me a total of 29,200 days of life. Don’t panic, but don’t do nothing, either. As I write this, I have already spent 17,425 days of my allotment, leaving approximately 11,775 opportunities to do and see all that life has to offer.

Now, let’s put this into some perspective. If each day of my life is represented by a single cent, I will start with $292 worth of coins or 584 rolls of pennies. How old am I today? Multiply that number by 365 and remove the result from the pennies in the main stack. I have about $117 left. Now, I try to recollect the most meaningful days of my life so far and put a penny to the side for each of those memorable days. How much did I move to this pile?

With this in mind, are your days and potential for experiences only worth a penny you would be willing to toss to the side? Or are they worth a nickel, a dollar, or maybe, like mine here in the Grand Canyon, are they each worth a small fortune? Every day a penny is spent, will you have bought another day in front of the television, more time texting, another night forgotten in drunken loneliness? Or will you explore the map of the unknown, not-yet-experienced opportunity within you? Take inventory of your pennies and account for them well: this savings account does not pay interest. Cherish your days, invest your time wisely with family, friends, fun, travels, new hobbies, learning, sharing a meal, and a smile; it is from these things we enrich our lives. After all, $292 isn’t exactly rich.

Today, we have reached the halfway point of our trek through the Canyon. We are passing the equidistant mile marker figuratively placed between Lees Ferry and Diamond Creek. It will be here, in Blacktail Canyon, that I stumble into the deepest depths of myself and where I will have to start the process of crawling out of me. I have stood here before the waterfall for an indeterminable amount of time, waiting for the intensity of my emotional reach to fade and allow my eyes to dry. Caroline approaches, placing her hand on my shoulder; I wrap my arms around her. I try to suppress the tears but feel that her touch has reopened the dam. I am certain she must feel the buried convulsions shuddering through me as this uncontrollable need to weep takes over my ability to hide behind the requisite image of manhood that has been instilled in me.

While Caroline consoles me, I see that fellow traveler Steve is in prayer; his head bowed; he, too, is finding reverence in nature’s shrine. Another passenger, Joe Kutter, is also here with us under the waterfall. As though right on cue, he finds an open window in our shared moment, and with all the grace and benevolence befitting this quiet man, he sings “This Is My Song,” which is also called “Finlandia.” The lyrics are:

This is my song, oh God of all the nations,
A song of peace for lands afar and mine.
This is my home, the country where my heart is;
Here are my hopes, my dreams, my sacred shrine.
But other hearts in other lands are beating,
With hopes and dreams as true and high as mine.

My country’s skies are bluer than the ocean,
And sunlight beams on cloverleaf and pine.
But other lands have sunlight too and clover,
And skies are everywhere as blue as mine.
Oh hear my song, oh God of all the nations,
A song of peace for their land and for mine.

May truth and freedom come to every nation;
May peace abound where strife has raged so long;
That each may seek to love and build together,
A world united, righting every wrong;
A world united in its love for freedom,
Proclaiming peace together in one song.

After a short pause, he offers a prayer in song with a recital in Latin of Agnus Dei – “Behold the Lamb of God,” who takes away the sin of the world.

Caroline, too, is now in tears. Try as I might, I find it nearly impossible to turn down the wellspring of emotion, but eventually, I find my composure. With eyes drying, I use this opportunity to pull my hat over my brow before turning to start the hike out. The first person I passed was our trip leader, Rondo, who said something to me that I failed to note and later could not find in my memory, though the exact words are not as important as the sense of his gesture that will stay with me. His demeanor is reserved; his eyes seem to keep their distance, allowing me passage without disturbing where and what I am coming from. There is an implicit acknowledgment in his nod that he understands where I have been and what I am carrying with me. Simply writing these words now, so many weeks later, brings me back to those moments – my eyes start to pool, filling yet again with the waters of Blacktail Canyon.

On my return approach to the bigger passage, I begin to hear the quiet song Jeffe and Katrina are performing. I hope to pass through discreetly, not wanting to disturb the mood. The other passengers remain in personal silence, each taking in whatever it is that is speaking to them. No one looks my way; maybe they sense the weight of my stride and the fragility of emotions as I cut the widest path possible to avoid a hello that could wring yet more water from these tear ducts that have worked harder today than in many a year. Fading behind me is the sound of the instruments, with Katrina’s voice growing distant as she sings “Pony” by Kasey Chambers. Ten days ago, this ballad was unknown to me; today, I have a fondness for the song that has become part of my Grand Canyon soundtrack.

The sound of the river becomes audible again as we approach the mouth of this side canyon. With each step forward, the light is getting brighter, I am moving out of the shadows. The sun, which is now low on the horizon, shines onto the north-facing cliffs; it will only maintain its warming vigil for a few more minutes. Clouds, small and fluffy, are painted on the deep blue ceiling of the sky overhead; they don’t move, but my tears do once again. In these moments of leaving Blacktail Canyon, the story of the evolutionary creation of life completes its cycle; from the dark, damp shadows, life emerges out of the safety of its hidden corner to find the light of day, seeing for the first time the bigger world and the breadth of sky with its source of illumination – the sun. It is as though the primordial memory of life is encoded within me, that on this day, a playback mechanism was triggered, allowing me to witness the magic and joy, the mystery and ecstasy of when life had come into being, taking a step forward in its adaptation for survival, still unencumbered by thoughts and anticipation of what comes next, it was “in the moment.” It is here and now that everything feels new, beautiful, and full of love. It is here, in these moments, where I would wish to stay forever in the magic of time unspoiled by my mind, with only my heart and eyes acting as the guides to my being.

Now that I have left the trail, it is time to rejoin my fellow travelers. Before I can do this, I must first try leaving the depths of myself still exploring Blacktail Canyon, trying to make sense of this experience. As I have come to understand this, in some small way, the weight, the hardness of stone, the narrowness of the passage, and the towering walls encapsulating me all worked in concert as nature’s reflection of what was already deep within me, and likely carried by each one of us human beings: Our time of innocence, when love and warmth still radiated all around us.

As adults, we have become jaded by our fears, our familiarity, our mistrust of the world, and our cynicism as we struggle to survive in a cold, violent world that is of our own making. How many of us are guilty of mindlessly allowing our children to witness the cruelty that will make them pull inwards, become mistrustful, and share our own cynical view that one is effectively alone in this life? We are perpetuating our own misery and passing on an imprint where love is but a small part of a busy day. Today, I had to cry. I wept. The tears washed away the blinders that had isolated me from feeling love all the time.

It may, in part, be due to our own laziness that, with our tacit agreement, we encourage our media to inundate us with a barrage of small-mindedness, war, and violence. If we are to truly enjoy life, how will this be accomplished by filtering our daily experiences through the unhealthy fetish of voyeuristic pandering to the sense of the absurd, bizarre, and violent depravity demonstrated by a species that is supposed to be capable of so much more? Maybe it is time to turn off the violence of crime dramas and the news, time to change the radio station from hate-talk camouflaging itself as the voice of the truth. Stop our own dialogue about how bad our job or day is, stop the gossip about the terrible neighbors or coworkers, and halt the insinuation that many around us are nearly incompetent or simply too different to tolerate. Instead, explore everything that celebrates this incredible opportunity of finding ourselves alive and able to create, beautify, share, listen, and learn of our planet and one another. It is certain that we must know and be aware of mankind’s dark side to help us see where to lift ourselves and our fellow human beings out of the abyss of monsters, but it is also important that during our time on Earth, we should find the path to stroll in the forest of artists, thinkers, teachers, mentors, shepherds, storytellers, and the insights of the wise. We must reset our compass and get back on track to continue our ride into the setting sun, where not a sign of a corrupt civilization is found on the horizon, where we are all explorers of the frontier found inside of us, treasure hunters looking for the wealth buried within, hidden underneath thick skin and callous minds.

Back riverside, Kenney’s dory has taken flight while left on its own. Fortunately for us, the Colorado hasn’t taken it very far, and it is found nearby swirling in an eddy. Kenney corrals it, and soon, we are again traveling the Colorado River. As will be the late-day theme for most of the remaining days of our trip, we are rowing into the sunset: after traveling south for the first seventy-five miles, we are now heading west.

The dory is our pram, the Grand Canyon our home, the river the sidewalk leading us to our friends and neighbors. Boatmen teach us how to be safe and are nearby to tend to our injuries. They make all of our meals, ensure we have enough to eat, and remove our waste. We are brought into new experiences. These guides are our teachers, imparting a new vocabulary into our speech; we become familiar with gunwales, dories, oarlocks, trim, first light, and intrusive dikes. We learn of boat construction, geology, river hydraulics, the anthropological record of those who were the ancestral stewards of the place we are visiting, and most importantly, we learn about ourselves as we grow up just a little bit more each day.

During our early childhood, everything was new and nearly incomprehensible. Our time here on the river follows a similar path – it is too monumental and bewildering for us to retain all that we have seen, thought, and experienced. The lore shared with us these days and nights regarding others’ experiences in the Canyon, and specifically, the stories of Blacktail Canyon told tonight by Rondo and Kenney, are lost in the immensity of information. There is no rewind or repeat button for this performance. I am finding a new appreciation for the stories told by our guides, and wish them to be told over and again. It is indeed sad that we belittle or diminish the enthusiasm of our friends, family, and the elderly who want to tell us their stories over and again, for if they should only be told once, they would be quickly lost and forgotten. Isn’t this need to tell and re-tell our stories and those of others a fundamental element of our humanity? This need could be an instinct protecting our survival, giving purpose to the spoken word that is at the center of being human. For if we were only in need of voicing our immediate desires, I’m certain that crying, a bark, a meow, or some other primal sound would suffice in carrying us through meeting our needs. Fortunately for us, we have this voice, this written word, poetry, music, and the ability to create pictures that allow us to share, to find excitement in our experiences, to bring others into the vision of how we are affected by our world, love, nature, and each other’s story.

We are rowing into the next frontier, following the sunset, looking for our place amongst the stars.

–From my book titled: Stay In The Magic – A Voyage Into The Beauty Of The Grand Canyon about our journey down the Colorado back in late 2010.

Rapids and more rapids, we haven’t seen so much whitewater since leaving the 20’s back on day two. From our overnight stop at Granite Camp, we were in position to begin the day with a wild ride. This is a roaring monster of spit and foam, not a read-and-run rapid; it is a “get over there and inspect before plunging in” rapid. We tag along on a short hike to an overview to watch the inspectors do their job. Standing on an outcropping above the riverside, trying to gauge the size of the rapids remains mostly elusive to my ability to give more weight or thrill factor to one wave compared to another – from up here, they don’t look all that large. This problem exists due to the scale of this massive canyon, similar to when one walks the Strip in Las Vegas, and the block-long hotel-casinos dwarf one’s idea of normal building sizes, giving the illusion that distances are smaller than they really are. It isn’t until you are halfway between the Luxor and the Bellagio, with a long walk still ahead, that you begin to appreciate the scale. And so it is here. Looking out at the raging water from shore, things look easy and manageable until another boat races into the picture, giving perspective to the relative size that immediately instills respect for the skill of the boatmen who will guide our minuscule crafts through that angry gnarl of crushing danger.

Just as quickly as these men from another group appear on the river in their aluminum powerboats, known as Osprey, the first one disappears behind a wave until his hull jets upward, climbing out of chaos to bolt forward. The next pilot floats down the tongue of Granite Rapid in reverse, and when it is nearly a second too late, he guns the motor and whips the boat in a 180-degree turn to plow face-first through what could have been a ruinous wave. Zoom, and he’s moving hard, and so is my adrenaline, watching his expertise and familiarity in taming this wicked hydrological performance put on by the Colorado, all the while looking as cool as a cucumber.

Motorized craft are a rarity on the river this time of year. From mid-September through the end of March, the river is governed by the No-Motor Season. The giant rafts that push a dozen or more passengers each downriver during the summer months are cut off. This rule arose out of a compromise between those who want to travel the length of the Canyon in its quiet, pristine state and the interests of commercial operators. These tour companies ferry large groups during the busier summer season, catering to tourists who may have limited schedules to enjoy a journey down the Colorado. Our group, which departed on October 22nd, like all commercial and private river trips this time of year, glide along in silence with nothing more than oars and human power allowed to add speed to the journey. These guys on the Ospreys are an exception. We first saw them yesterday, hidden nearly out of view. They are research biologists working in coordination with the National Park Service.

These field workers are here in an attempt to save the humpback chub, a native fish adapted to surviving the muddy, once-warm waters of the Colorado. Nowadays, they are on the endangered species list because their habitat has been radically altered, and their chances for survival are slim. The Glen Canyon Dam releases water from the depths of Lake Powell at a near-constant 46 degrees. The chub north of the dam and in the lake no longer have a warm rushing river to support the species’ habitat and are also at risk from the predatory fish introduced into Lake Powell. Chub formerly ranged from below Hoover Dam up into Colorado; today, they are found in just six areas, small stretches of the Colorado itself and a few of its tributaries. Trout, walleye, and bass, all of which are better suited to cold, clear waters, are known to be decimating the chub population in the lakes and the remaining wild river habitats.

As humankind discovers the damage we have inflicted on the environment, displacing flora and fauna and introducing invasive species, tragically allowing our convenience to take precedence, people are waking to the need to ensure biodiversity in order to maintain the balance of nature and our own survival in these fragile ecosystems. In our efforts to correct or at least mitigate the continuing damage, there is a growing body of scientists and individuals hard at work to repair, restore, and protect these corners of our planet. Here in the Grand Canyon, the National Park Service is cooperating with the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, Arizona Game & Fish, the Bureau of Reclamation, and the Grand Canyon Wildlands Council to continue the difficult repair work. Unfortunately, it will likely take generations to combat the hostility that has been fomented by groups who do not see the need for natural environments to remain in the state nature created them. Luckily for us, these same forces haven’t found anything of interest to harvest from humans besides our labor.

Most of the effort to save the humpback chub focuses on two areas: the Little Colorado River behind us and Shinumo Creek, 46 miles downstream. Biologists, boatmen, and their cooks form self-contained units that work for periods of 14 and upwards of 30 days on the river – their job is to eradicate trout and translocate chub to test areas in an attempt to establish thriving populations of this native fish. The researchers monitor the populations and their movement patterns to better understand the species and aid in their survival until the day their habitat is restored.

Now, it is our group’s turn to run Granite. This rapid is rated class 7 to 8 and will drop us 18 feet in seconds. This is one of the rare opportunities where we’ll run a rapid in two groupings. I’ll be in the second group, allowing me to watch two of the other dories and two of the rafts tumble over the whitewater. The first to run is the Shoshone, piloted by Rondo. His dory nearly disappears behind waves that hide boats and passengers. As the craft escapes the clutch of the river to glide above the tumult, the sight of its reemergence is breathtaking. The next dory follows suit, and it, too, is accelerating as its perfect form finds a track, delivering a command performance. Standing on the river’s edge, I am fully able to appreciate each tilt, roll, and turn. I can watch with attentive eyes as the boatman places an oar left or right, making corrections. When the dory climbs a wave, the angle of ascent is shockingly obvious, its descent precarious. It could be debated which is more exciting, watching others careen over the fury or riding the explosive waters yourself. While watching from the shore, you experience the rapid vicariously and in perfect safety, knowing what your fellow passengers are going through. After the rafts make their run, it will be my turn. Helmet on, tighten my life jacket, and hold on.

Back in the dory, my breathing is shallow. The strangle grip I have on the strap and gunwale is meant to assure me. My brain is struggling to comprehend the complexity of chaos we are surrounded by. Over the thunder of the crashing water, ears strain to hear commands that, once conveyed, may be the words that stand between safety and danger. Waves slap over the bow and slam us from overhead. Cold water breaks through my frozen, clutching hands, reminding me that I am still able to move. Then, as I remember to breathe, it’s over. And with a pitch unfamiliar to my ears and piercing to others’ senses, squeals emerge out of me with uncharacteristic high frequencies, announcing the joy and relief that we have been safely delivered to the other side.

Hardly another mile is traveled before notoriety jumps back into our faces – Hermit Rapid, the one and only God’s own roller-coaster. Some of these rapids stand out due to the stories written of their dangers. Thanks to the advent of streaming video on the internet, a search for “rafting Grand Canyon” introduces us to rapids and harrowing boat flips while sitting in front of our computer. Once witnessed at home, they grow into legends in our imaginations. Now, out here on the river and confronted with these familiar names, my eyes bug out in recognition and the memory of what I have already imagined a particular rapid to be. Hermit Rapid autographs my book of the conquered with a safe run. Boucher Rapid is up next, aced.

Crystal, oh my, it’s the Arnold Schwarzenegger of rapids – I can hear it tempting me with the question, “Are you ready for this, or are you a girly man?” Crystal is one of those places to get off the river and inspect which level of crazy the rapid is spewing today. Crystal was hardly a rapid at all until, in 1966, Crystal Canyon delivered a boulder storm that choked this channel of the Colorado. Then, in 1983, due to record runoffs from snowpacks up north and Lake Powell close to topping Glen Canyon Dam, its operators were forced to release an unprecedented flood of water. The nearly overwhelmed dam filled the river channel with flows approaching 100,000 CFS. As a result, Crystal became one of the most dangerous – and infamous – rapids on the river that summer, claiming more than a few lives. Today, it may be tamer, but our boatmen err on the side of caution and look before our leap into the turmoil. Kenney maneuvers his dory with such finesse that 20 seconds later, we are at the end of the line and bailing the few gallons of water that splashed on board.

We’re traveling now on the back of the wild tuna. Surfing waves, skimming surfaces, darting into the depths. Tuna Rapid isn’t a snarling current of ferocity; it wasn’t one of the “rapids of consequence,” but the name is fun. Stepping off one fish, we saddle up to ride its cousin, Lower Tuna, also known as Willie’s Necktie. I am sure there is some lore regarding why Willie’s Necktie came to be named such, but for today, it will remain a mystery to me.

Finished with riding the Tuna Creek Rapid and finding ourselves below the Necktie, we are about to dip into the Jewels. Agate Rapid is so small it doesn’t warrant the assignment of a class rating. Sapphire comes on quickly, and we shoot right through it before picking up Turquoise. Three rapids in a mile and a half, ten rapids since we launched three hours and a little more than eight miles ago. Good time to stop for lunch at a small beach. The miles are starting to add up. Here we are, eight days in the Canyon, 102 miles of river covered, and all the time in the world in front of us, with an infinity of distance remaining. Anything less, and the face of the end may be seen, and who would want to find that?

Two more jewels in this rapid chain await our traverse after lunch – we’ll oblige with bellies full, returning to our pirate dories in search of the other treasures found here on the Colorado. First up, Emerald. We pass this second-to-last jewel with a loud Arrr! Only Ruby remains, but it, too, will join the booty of experience already on board the lead pirate’s boat, the Shoshone. Now, like pirates are apt to do, it is time to escape. And, as is often part of the story, the route be fraught with danger – Aye! The river ahead didn’t disappoint as it forced us to snake through Serpentine Rapid before we found refuge two miles later at the foot of the South Bass Trail in a nook called Ross Wheeler Camp.

It was back in 1915 when Charles S. Russell, a river adventurer who had plans to film the Canyon from the Colorado, abandoned this old steel boat christened the Ross Wheeler. It came to rest here at the Bass Trail after the expedition failed to accomplish its goal. This rusting hulk was built by The Grand Old Man of The River – Bert Loper. Bert is a legend here on the Colorado, born the day John Wesley Powell discovered the confluence of the Colorado and San Juan Rivers. By 1920, he was the lead boatman on the USGS expedition that would identify the future site of the Hoover Dam. Finally, in 1949, at age 79, running another self-built boat called The Grand Canyon, Bert flipped his rig in high water and died on the river he loved. The Ross Wheeler has endured for 95 years and hasn’t rusted away yet, nor has it been stolen, although that may only be due to the National Park Service securing it to the rocks it rests upon. Not too long ago, the oars, oarlocks, a cork life jacket, and other memorabilia were still found resting safely inside, but over time, souvenir hunters have all but scoured the old boat clean. Now, it serves as a reminder of two of the many legendary figures who have plied these waters.

These days, there are regulated safety procedures for commercial guides running the Colorado. The boatmen who work for O.A.R.S., the company we signed up with for this adventure, are Wilderness First Responders and Swift Water Rescue, CPR, and Arizona Backcountry Health certified. Satellite phones are carried on board in case an emergency warrants airlifting someone with a severe injury, or worse, out of the Canyon. Passengers must wear Coast Guard-approved life jackets, and a number of commercial operators are now requiring helmet usage for the more dangerous rapids. Those of us traveling in the Canyon have outfitted ourselves with the latest in technical clothing, wearing synthetic quick-dry base layers, neoprene socks to keep feet warm, waterproof outer layers, polarized sunglasses, SPF 100 sunblock, river shoes, and have access to anti-chafe, anti-itch, pain-relieving substances of all kinds to deal with whatever minor ailments may afflict us. Our food is a combination of fresh and frozen treats, from organic fresh asparagus, potatoes, lettuce, tomatoes, cauliflower, and avocados to strawberries, mango, plums, melons, apples, bananas, and kiwi. We luxuriate on baked brie, salmon, fajitas, spaghetti, and in-camp baked desserts. From the deep freeze in neatly stored ice chests, a constant supply of breakfast, lunch, and dinner meats, along with vegetarian options, emerge to satisfy our appetites. At dinner time, passengers who brought along their favorite alcoholic beverages help themselves to a nightcap or two from cold storage in the dories’ watertight compartments.

Of course, at the turn of the 19th century, none of these conveniences existed yet. Just surviving was a luxury when venturing into the unknown. The people who would dare enter into this hostile canyon to ply the wild river could see their boats dashed into kindling. Their food supplies would turn moldy or rancid, and that was only if they could rescue anything salvageable from the capsized rig. The boats themselves were an odd mix of experimentation, as these pioneers would throw various custom craft onto the river with the hope that theirs was the better solution to safely running the rapids. Safety wasn’t always attainable, from lack of life jackets to woolen clothing that, once saturated, could pull the strongest swimmers under. Death was not uncommon down here.

Back in 1869, during Powell’s famous journey down the Colorado, three men, fearing the worst was yet to come, left the river at mile 239.8, never to be seen again; today, that location is called Separation Canyon. Brown’s Riffle at river mile 12.1 notes the death of Frank Mason Brown, who, back in 1889, led a group surveying the Canyon for the purpose of establishing a rail line next to the river for moving freight. From the same group of surveyors, Peter Hansbrough’s boat flipped a couple of days later, killing him and a cook’s helper. A few months later, Robert Stanton, who had been on the earlier trip, found Hansbrough’s body at mile 44; that location is now known as Point Hansbrough. There are other spots noted for those who sacrificed all in trying to forge a way and a name out of their bravery and curiosity. I have to wonder if these souls were truly out to explore the world or if they were on a larger quest to explore themselves.

An interesting side note regarding Robert Stanton: on that fateful trip with Brown, following the death of Hansbrough, it was decided to hide boats and gear in a nearby cave, allowing the survivors to hike back to Lees Ferry on an old Indian trail. This cave would prove historically important many years later. In 1934, Bus Hatch, another river pioneer, found a split twig figurine in Stanton’s Cave. Twenty-nine years later, Robert Euler working for the National Park Service as an anthropologist, uncovered another 165 of these figurines in the cave, dated to be about 4,000 years old. We passed that cave back on day two near Vasey’s Paradise.

We walk away from the steel hulk of the Ross Wheeler into the shoes of another trailblazer out to explore his world – William W. Bass. While the Ross Wheeler stands relatively strong on river left, the remnants of William Bass’s tourism operation in the Canyon are in ruin, rotting as the processes of erosion claim what’s left of his camp and aerial tramway crossing. A more enduring reminder of Bass’s presence is the more than 50 miles of trails found scraped directly on the surface of the land his legacy is attached to – it is called the Bass Trail. Back in 1883, Bass started giving tours of the inner Canyon and began construction of a path that would bring tourists on a cross-canyon trek connecting the North and South Rims.

It is already late in the day when we take off from camp to have a look up the hill, so we must move fast. We spend a short time inspecting the crumbling walls of Bass’s small stone cabin, not far from the river. Over the ledge, part of the tramway assembly Bass used to ferry visitors and supplies over the Colorado, connecting the North and South Rim trails, can be seen. Across the river, a notch is the only reminder of where the cable was once attached. Our group, led by Jeffe, is small; Caroline and I make it even smaller as we stay near the cabin while the others go on further for a better view of the surroundings. We meander along another trail back in the general direction of our camp. On our way, we find the remains of a second small building, which may have been a shelter. Part of its fireplace still stands, looking as though we could toss in a log on a cold night and make a nice camp here. Under any other circumstances, the stuff strewn about this ruin would be called trash, but the National Park Service deems that effects left here more than 50 years have historic and cultural value and should remain undisturbed. And so, the rusting cans, nails, and various other artifacts sit under the desert sun to remind us, in ways both large and small, of the others who came before us.

Standing here, at what was William Bass’s camp in the Canyon, and looking out in all directions upon the desert, I would like to know who this man was. What kind of fortitude did he require to find life’s purpose through the goal of carving foot trails across this Grand Canyon? What is it that ignites people’s passions to give their all in order for others to share in finding their own potential in the vastness of nature? In a future age, will he be seen as a John Glenn or Bill Gates, extending the view of the possible? His name hasn’t survived like John Muir’s. We don’t celebrate his vision as we do Ansel Adams, but I, for one, would like to recognize the efforts of William W. Bass in giving us one more avenue to perceive our world from this remote trail he cut over a hostile and beautiful landscape.

–From my book titled: Stay In The Magic – A Voyage Into The Beauty Of The Grand Canyon about our journey down the Colorado back in late 2010.