Birthday Stylin’

Caroline Wise in Mesa, Arizona

Who needs birthday cake when you can have corndogs? While Caroline and I were up in Oregon a new Korean corndog joint called Two Hands opened a few doors down from H-Mart in Mesa. When I saw this last week I held back and didn’t go in figuring Caroline would like to try them too, nor did I share the news with her. So today on her 21st birthday, oops I mean 53rd, we needed to visit H-Mart again, because not only did we need more provisions for sundubu but Caroline likes looking at the Korean goods in their stylish packaging. And as soon as we arrived it was clear that we were not going to pass up the opportunity to try a reinvented classic. From left to right you have the German corndog holding the box containing a Crispy Rice Dog, a Potato Dog covered with Two Hands Dirty Sauce and Cheetos powder, and finally the Two Hands Dog with a drizzle of sweet ranch sauce. All three were great but the Potato Dog was greaterer. We’ll be back.

Now, what about the packaging comment above? Caroline isn’t only enamored with Koren packaging as any Asian, South Asian, or Mexican packaging will draw in her interest. It’s the bright colors and often cute or humorous graphics that are used in the design. Our dominant grocery stores are boring with limited selections although they do feature 100 variations on some puffed grain sugary cereal. Essentially they are created for people with narrow expectations when it comes to their palate. But in other countries, they aren’t afraid to put cheese and corn in ice cream, use red beans in cakes, or roll corn dogs in French fry bits topped with Magic Cheeto Dust. Innovation in teas, drinks, and fast food is big business in Asia where a ballooning population of young people is willing to try non-traditional things on a quest to be hip. While we celebrate the comeback of the McRib or a variation on a chicken sandwich, places like India have been mashing up traditional items into Chinese dishes to create Indo-Chinese dishes and Korea fills up a fish-looking pastry with purple yam ice-cream topped with Fruity Pebbles. (By the way, the ice cream is called Ah-Boong if you are interested.) So, take the vibrant colors, peculiar ingredients, and playful packaging and Caroline is super happy to explore what’s available and on occasion try some rather peculiar things, such as the squid-flavored Lays potato chips she recently had.

So John, is that seriously how you celebrated your wife’s birthday? Well, yes. We’ve done dinner at gourmet restaurants, I’ve given her an extraordinary number of gifts for her 40th birthday, 40 as a matter of fact. We’ve gone to Disneyland, Disney World, and Euro Disney to mark the occasion of her birth. Cakes? We’ve had fancy and plain but Korean corndogs are something out of the ordinary so why be ordinary? If you marry someone extraordinary you should do things and share times that step out of the mundane such as that year we went snowshoeing in Yellowstone for our wedding anniversary. Someday we’ll look back and cherish this memory of our first ever encounter with Korean corndogs and it’ll make us smile in much the same way as when I posted that photo of Caroline sitting on an outdoor toilet on the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. Okay, there was also that time up in Alaska during a white water rafting trip where I caught her reading the paper sitting on the can 🙂

How Do You Do Food?

Pantry of John and Caroline Wise in Phoenix, Arizona

In only 95 days, Caroline and I will have been self-isolating for one year. First of all, the definition of self-isolation for us is along the lines of being aware of our proximity to others, always wearing a mask when near others, walking for exercise much more than ever before, being aware of how much sunlight we are getting while supplementing it with vitamin D, not being as spontaneous to go places as we’d like to, staying out of as many businesses as possible, reducing how often we shop in person, and essentially eliminating visits to restaurants.

What this post is really all about, though, is our relationship with food during the pandemic. We started hoarding food (I hate to use that word, but it is what it is) in January. Back then, I’d say it was more like putting some extra things to the side just in case what was happening in China started spreading. By February, I’d have to admit that I hit the panic button a little, and unbeknownst to Caroline, I started squirreling stuff away in the nooks and crannies of our cabinets as I shifted stuff and packed food supplies in an ever-increasing density. When March rolled around and the first wave of panic buying hit the general public, our freezer was packed solid, and I really couldn’t reasonably store anything else in our kitchen. I was guessing that we had enough food on hand to last us a solid 90 days.

Pantry of John and Caroline Wise in Phoenix, Arizona

We then encountered a logistical problem; we didn’t know where, in 9 cabinets spread between 19 shelves, we’d find stuff. The fridge was easy because that was all fresh food that needed to move out before it rotted. We needed an inventory, and that’s just what we created. A simple affair built in a spreadsheet with over 400 line items. We put a piece of tape at the corner of each door that had food behind it, numbered it, and counted the shelves from the bottom up, starting with the number 1. If we needed a jar of pickled asparagus, we could see that there should be a bottle in cabinet 6, shelf 2. This became our grocery store.

When we needed fresh foods I tended to try and use Costco as much as possible as they early on asked customers to wear masks and put up plastic dividers between customers and cashiers. Even though it’s only two of us, 10 lbs of onions could be gone through, and usually, only one onion would go bad while we worked through them. Six avocadoes paired with two containers of cherry tomatoes to make tomato/avocado salads to accompany meals or to eat for lunch. Two dozen eggs last us three weekends as we only eat a hot breakfast on Saturday and Sunday to make up for not being able to go out for a traditional breakfast at some favorite local joint. Fruit, some veggies, and meat were mostly coming from Costco. Things we wanted in smaller amounts, as we really couldn’t eat 4 lbs of bell peppers fast enough, were gotten from a nearby grocery store, typically right after opening or after 8:00 p.m., so I could avoid the crowds. Caroline very rarely, if ever, went to the store with me during the first 4 or 5 months of the pandemic.

Pantry of John and Caroline Wise in Phoenix, Arizona

While the kitchen is my responsibility, the data is Caroline’s. As I’d ask where the chipotle peppers in adobo sauce are, she’d give me the coordinates, and then she’d remove it from the inventory, eventually adding the item to the “Removed” page in our spreadsheet. This week, the “Removed” page surpassed the “In Inventory” page, so I thought I’d take a closer look at it, and this is what I found.

The first item was consumed and removed from inventory on March 24, 2020. Looking at what followed, I am surprised by how much we’ve consumed or, in some cases, how I thought we ate more of something, but the data doesn’t support it. Somehow, we’ve eaten 4.6 lbs of nopalitos, aka cactus pads. Not too surprising we’ve used 9.5 lbs of bacon. In no particular order, we’ve consumed 12 lbs of canned black beans, an amount of butter I’d rather not share, only 6 lbs of chicken, 19 quarts of chicken stock (we make a lot of bean dishes starting with dried beans), 24 filet mignon, 4.5 lbs of ground beef, 28 hotdogs, 2.6 gallons of pasta sauce, 24 pork chops, 50 ounces of pozole, 4.5 lbs of prunes, over 15 lbs of brown rice, almost a gallon of salsa, countless tomatoes, avocadoes, six cans of spam, nuts and seeds for the roughly 12 lbs of granola I make a month and probably about a gallon of soy milk per month to accompany it. I also know we’ve been through about 4 lbs of crunchy stuff that’s an integral part of Burmese salads, 5.5 lbs of coffee beans, eight cans of enchilada sauce, and 13 packages of preserved Chinese vegetables.

With more than 400 line items, often with multiple units of particular things, we need to keep in mind what’s languishing and at risk of being forgotten lest we have to throw a spoiled product away. The inventory isn’t enough to keep us aware of how things move out of our kitchen, so every couple of weeks, Caroline sends me the updated list that I scour to find things to throw into our meal plan. At this point, since fresh food is easily available in our markets, using some foods that we collected early on that have longer shelf lives, such as our 24 ounces of soy curls meat substitute or nearly 2 pounds of canned ground beef, is becoming a challenge. We loathe throwing food away, though, and sooner or later, we’ll get to these ingredients, but with fresh options easily at hand, it’s a bit difficult.

Pantry of John and Caroline Wise in Phoenix, Arizona

The point of my blog entry here is that we have never been so aware of what and how much we eat on a regular basis. That wasn’t possible when the majority of our meals came from restaurants. Had you asked me a year ago what the percentages were, I probably would have said that 20-30% of our meals were at restaurants, but now, after so many months of cooking and cleaning dishes, I’d say that probably 75% of our meals were prepared by someone else.

To this day, we still do not opt for convenience by purchasing fully prepared foodstuffs aside from pasta sauce, some soups, or pasta. As much as possible, we use whole foods, starting with fresh, before we resort to frozen or canned. Today in our freezer are nearly 5 lbs of walleye filets, 5 lbs of perch, 9 lbs of ribeyes from Texas, a lamb roast, 4 lbs of pork belly, skirt steaks, filet mignon, chicken thighs, various sausages, scallops, and ground beef. Our pantry is still overflowing with a bunch of Chinese veggies, dried matsutake, porcini, boletes, red reishi, and morel mushrooms, six flavors of spam, and a bunch of other things that came from the shelves that others don’t typically shop from.

Where to go from here? I want an app that follows my eating habits and brings me into new food experiences. Finding recipes from other countries requires us to have an idea of what we are looking for when we may not have a clue as to what’s popular in the homes of the people from Pohnpei, for example. While we have almost every spice available in one of our cabinets, and I’m not afraid to shop at Eastern European, Middle Eastern, Asian, South Asian, African, and Latin American stores, I still feel that our reach into the various ethnic cuisines from around the globe is too limited. We have the financial resources to explore, but without the general curiosity of the masses for something similar, it doesn’t seem like there’s a market yet for tasting authentic flavors from distant lands.

Settling In

Phoenix, Arizona sky in fall

The trees are giving up their leaves late this year; not that that means it’s true, it’s just my impression. A calm morning breeze is busy cleaning the tree in front of me, and although it’s only 13 days until the official start of winter, I’ve taken up my place on our balcony enjoying the pleasant 73-degree temperature (23c) that promises to not go above 77 (25c). It’s just beautiful out here today, with me reflecting on the calm of both the weather and the hoped-for relief from stress that accompanies the end of vacation.

The falling leaves often create two sounds: the first is the collision with other leaves on their way to Earth, and the second is their landing on it. Those sounds are preceded by the swoosh of wind in the leaves that are staying attached to the tree for an indeterminate length of time, holding fast against the air that is playing a kind of Jenga with nature. The other background sounds are the ever-present road noises from tires that roar while speeding by and the occasional songs from nearby birds. To some extent, I’m able to blur the traffic sounds into my memories of the ocean crashing onto the shore. For that moment, I have another bit of time in Oregon, next to the sea.

Punctuating the din is the passing motorcycle or the aggressive exhaust of a car that breaks the spell of meditation I am indulging in when I should be writing. Then, a dove with its distinctive whistling-while-flying sound flutters by to land for a second before taking off again, carrying its whistle along as it goes. A lone grackle bleats out its screech and then falls silent as nothing responds to its call. Similarly, my mind seems to fall silent following my call to head out here and write.

The carniceria at our corner has stoked the fires of its charcoal grill and its distinctive smell wafts over on the wind; just thinking of what might be cooking has me thinking of food and not words. I know that this is somewhat futile, but on such a beautiful day, after realizing that I could be sitting out here working, I’m determined to give it a go until I figure out how my time could be better used.

Maybe the fact of it all is that I want this time to charge my batteries by feeling the breeze on my face and arms as I listen to the little clicky sounds of the leaves dropping in on me. For the entire week after our return from vacation, I was catching up with the tasks that are required to keep life flowing at home. Today can be considered my day off. Then, just as I think I’m out here for daydreaming, Caroline lets me know it’s time for lunch and that I need to offer the kitchen my attention.

Gochugaru

Korean Red Chili Flakes or Gochugaru

A side effect of the COVID-19 pandemic, which I’m sure is the same for me as for others, is the amount of cooking we have been doing. We’ve always branched out of the foods we are familiar with, which over the years has brought us to eating things such as grasshopper, horse, donkey, veal nerve, duck tongue, bullfrog, javelina, pig eyes, brains, and ears, and most recently a Cajun Turducken.

Back in June, I made our first bowls of kimchi sundubu-jjigae and we fell in love with it. How in love with it? We just finished our second pound of gochugaru chili powder. At the base of this hearty Korean stew lies sundubu paste and that paste relies on a large amount of chili powder. I wasn’t very discriminating the first time I bought gochugaru; I went to a nearby Asian store and grabbed what I thought was “the real thing.” Getting back from vacation this week, I needed to make a fresh batch of sundubu paste which required me to revisit the YouTube video that got all of this going. I knew I would be finishing an opened bag of chili powder (our second bag this year), but I was prepared as I’d bought another bag at H-Mart some time ago just for this moment.

Watching the video the guy suggested going through the trouble of getting “real” Korean gochugaru. I thought I had the real thing as it had Korean writing on the package, so what else could it have been? It could be from China which was exactly what I saw on the older package and the new one I just opened. I consulted Amazon to rectify this and found out that authentic Korean chili powder is not all that easy to obtain. When I did find it the price made me think twice. The new “Korean Origin” chili powder costs $30 a pound compared to $10 a pound for the Chinese stuff. I had to remind myself that Asians pack and price spices different than the American market and on checking out my local store with the name-brand stuff on offer I discovered that a pound of regular old ground chili costs between $20 and $55 a pound when bought in those small bottles.

So, obviously, I was making sundubu paste because we were looking forward to our first bowl of kimchi and tofu stew since getting back home. For that, I needed to head out to H-Mart to get the rest of the ingredients but this time I decided to also stock up on about a month’s supply of silken tofu. The tubes are 11oz each or 312g; I bought 10 of them which will let us make 5 portions each of sundubu-jjigae. Come to think about it, we’ve eaten more than 25 pounds of tofu during this last half of the year. I needed another quart of kimchi, our 4th this year which is probably 4 times more than we’ve bought in our first 50 years on Earth. While this may sound mundane, I bought some fresh American- and Chinese-grown shiitake mushrooms; they were sold out of Korean shiitakes. My local “American” grocery stores don’t carry fresh shiitakes. If you sense a bit of incredulity in that, you’d have heard it right. Yes, my cynicism sometimes has me feeling like the local stores only sell Wonder bread, peanut butter, hamburger, chicken, frozen pizza, Ragu pasta sauce, and 94 types of sugary breakfast cereal.

Regarding the sundubu-jjigae with the “fake” chili powder: It turned out great, and now, with about a pound of paste in the freezer, it’ll be a few weeks before I can make a new batch but when I do, I’ll be using Korean-grown gochugaru. Maybe I’ll blog again about our experiences with this fantastically umami stew once the new chili powder comes in but how much can one write about this stuff?

Oh, there’s a downside to this return to blogging about normal life, each new post moves down my masterpieces of eulogistic praise regarding our recent trip to Oregon. I sure would like to recommend that you take the 2 hours to read the 32,956 words of my screed, but short of that you could also just check out the wonderful photos. I can’t emphasize how much more interesting that other stuff is compared to writing about kimchi and tofu stew.

High Value Targets

Parking lot mobile security camera in Phoenix, Arizona

I had to go shopping today, not Christmas shopping, just grocery shopping. You read that right, I went grocery shopping at a regular grocery store, not Whole Foods either. When I walked in, masked-up of course, I didn’t think twice about anything other than that we are just back from vacation and need food this morning so we can eat today. Having been gone for 19 days, we came home to the empty fridge, just as we left it. I grabbed a few things moving quickly to minimize my time in-store, used the self-checkout, and had placed my bags in the car when I realized what I was looking at: a security camera.

I told myself, “Hey, wake up John, that’s a mobile security camera setup….at your grocery store!” It’s the holiday season so I remember from way back when the sheriff’s department putting cherry-pickers in mall parking lots to monitor the safety of shoppers, but back when malls were a thing people might be walking to their cars carrying hundreds or thousands of dollars of goods. If some nefarious type person wanted a good haul robbing someone, a mall would be the place to target some easy victims. BUT I’M AT THE GROCERY STORE!

I had to go take a closer look at the solar-powered D3 Edge Security Platform from LiveView. Three hundred and sixty degrees of view, infrared camera, lights, speaker, microphone array, and its own power source driving this thing wirelessly so someone in the store can have their eye on the parking lot – I was somewhat impressed. Thinking harder about it, I started questioning, why is this really here? A couple of answers became clear: 1st, during a pandemic and hoarding there are things that have greater value to those that can ill afford them such as toilet paper, diapers, sanitizers, etc. and 2nd, we have a serious unemployment problem and reduced wages that put pressure on people to acquire foodstuffs in any way possible. So instead of heading to the mall, which nobody does anymore anyway, head to the store and rob someone of their $300 in groceries because beef and eggs are expensive these days.

Now I have to stop and give some hard thought to this. I think about what we saw in the Bay Area of Northern California where some freeway offramps are appearing like trash explosions, but when you look closer you spot encampments of homeless people in ramshackle tent communities. Bizarre eye-sores have spread across hillsides, among the brush along the freeway, and are nestled in tight spaces under bridges. It really is astonishing to see the level of homelessness spread from slum areas to the edges of major highways. If these are the signs of those who are at the end of possibility, what of those who are struggling and at risk of falling to the edge? They have to pay rent; food becomes a secondary expenditure if you can find things at Dollar Stores. When those are too expensive you head to the food bank, but what happens when food banks are running short due to holiday demand? Head to the grocery store parking lot and snatch a couple of bags from someone’s cart who looks vulnerable, that’s what you do. Grocery stores must be aware of this and hence Robo-D3 Edge Security Officer is on duty and standing by.

The Surrealism Of It All

Sunrise on Highway 138 in California

The act of going on vacation, which I termed Remote Self-Isolation, was fraught with tensions due to the escalating outbreaks and fears that with the colder weather and holiday season that pulls families together, America would experience a massive uptick in COVID-19 infections. For the month prior to our departure, I was never sure if our road trip to the Oregon coast was going to take place. Travel restrictions, lodging cancellations, or lock-down orders were never far from my mind.

When we finally started moving west towards the California border, each mile felt extraordinary because we were actually traveling for pleasure during a pandemic. It felt counter-intuitive. We made it to Fresno, California, over 600 miles from home, back on the first day. I was still incredulous that we’d be allowed to take a room in a hotel, as though we’d be questioned about our travel intents. Maybe if our reason for being on the road wasn’t strong enough, we’d be denied lodging and so I was prepared with some concocted nonsense story just in case we were questioned. That story was never well thought out as I know it wasn’t reasonable that we’d be asked anything as truckers and people moving homes had continued traveling the whole time, but that’s where nine months of self-isolation had put a part of my brain.

Entering Oregon, the place was at once familiar and, at the same time, different. Traffic was lighter; that was probably the first thing you would notice. Restaurants were closed or had prominent signs up telling passers-by that they were still doing takeout or food to go. Sure, we’d known this from our bubble in Phoenix. but this was the distant coast, and for some reason, it felt abruptly different. All the same, this was vacation, and if it only lasted a day or two, we’d try to extract all we could from this opportunity to be out. Staying at locations longer, intentionally booking places with kitchens so we could prepare the majority of our meals to choosing our lodgings, considering that we’d be effectively sheltering in place, so we’d better be prepared to entertain ourselves. While it seemed absurd that we should be doing this during a pandemic, things went smashingly well.

But then it all goes and gets wrapped in the punctuation of surrealism as, about 100 miles from home, our car, with us in it, was hit by someone with no interest in dealing with slowing down and confronting what they had just done. We were already traveling at about 75 – 80 mph when a car came out of nowhere and drifted into our lane doing about 100 mph. That car collided with us (or gently bumped us, I suppose) as they quickly recovered and took off even faster while we continued miraculously forward. It took a second for us to wrap our shocked minds around what had just occurred and catapulted us into adrenalized emotional shock. I hit the gas as our car seemed okay to give chase and try to record the license plate. However, that was futile because the other driver was adamant that today was not the day to swap insurance info. I hit 95 mph and started to realize the other person was not, in fact, going to pull over, so I called 911. I learned for the first time that just talking to the phone in my pocket with, “Okay, Google, call 911,” worked to call some 911 network that quickly transferred me to the Arizona Department of Public Safety, our version of the Highway Patrol. At this point, when I started explaining what happened and what we knew about the other driver, it started to really dawn on me that we’d been in an accident. Emotions started to seep in, and I knew the chase was over and that we needed to pull over; the car was in some state of post-crash status, and me getting wrecked, too, now.

Hit and run of our Kia in the Arizona Desert

We pulled off at Exit 81, the Salome Road offramp. Stepping out of the car we couldn’t fathom how little damage there was to the car, considering how the cars collided.

The DPS officer showed up about an hour after the initial call; we made our report and drove home. The time between was good for the two of us, as it allowed the panic to subside and a sense of normal to return. Getting home, we went through the routine of starting laundry, draining the ice chest, putting stuff away, etc. We’d been home a few hours by the time the last effects of the shock were subsiding. It was then that the whole thing truly seemed unreal, “Had we really been the victims of a hit-and-run accident just before lunch today?” We’d just finished nearly three weeks of travels during what amounts to a plague with people masked up, hurt, and in fear. Food from restaurants is taken home or eaten right in the car in a parking lot. Marijuana can be delivered or picked up in the drive-thru. Limits on how many people are allowed in businesses are in effect, and in some cases, you are greeted outdoors when a person in gloves and a mask comes out to ask what you want to buy. We rarely spoke to anyone, and checking into our lodgings, we never saw anyone other than the couple of times we stayed at hotels. The surrealism of it all was astonishing.

Now stop and think about just how strange the entire phenomenon of traveling is as you course over the surface of the earth at 80 mph. Or maybe you are aloft in the sky, 5 miles over the roads and sea, speeding along at 575 mph before arriving at your destination. A room awaits you with the amenities you desire, most likely with heating and air-conditioning, don’t forget the TV and wifi, but if you are renting a house, you can expect the number of bedrooms you reserved along with a kitchen stocked with the utensils and instruments you are likely familiar with at home. You are at this new location with your smartphone at your disposal, so you start live streaming right away to a friend or relative, possibly thousands of miles away, sharing in your amazement.

We take things for granted, we define our normal by what we are currently doing and we rarely stop to reflect on how peculiar it all is. In some way, we are all playing in madness by doing what we do, unaware of how random it is that we try to create patterns of behavior out of the chaos of any number of directions our lives could be lived. We’ve recently been witnessing a political apparatus in Washington D.C. consume itself with the rationalization that, because things were being done the way they were, that must be the way they need to be in order for things to work. Confronted with a pandemic, we strangely throw our hands up and feign ignorance about what we should be doing when to this lay-person it was obvious that we needed to “Stop, drop and roll,” metaphorically speaking.

In the last few weeks, we ventured out to try and capture a small part of our former normal: vacationing in Oregon. An ongoing pandemic hinted this was insane, but we could justify it by explaining that our current normal had grown stale and that we needed a break from the routine. We’d driven Interstate 10, possibly hundreds of times by now. Our normal was simply driving it; this time, reality crashed into us, reminding Caroline and me that the two bipeds in the steel cage were moving 26 times our normal walking speed while a virus that doesn’t know borders was potentially present in places our eyesight doesn’t have the capability to see. How crazy is all this?

Our limited senses need the occasional reboot, and 2020 is certainly a year where slowly everyone on our planet is getting it that life has variables that are not always predictable. Relative stability has been a luxury for many in the West since the end of World War II, but prior to that, humanity was living every year in 2020.

All of this begs the question, “Why are we not striving to do our best at making life more meaningful and equipping each other with knowledge and tools to have better lives?”

The only answer I’ve been able to come up with is that a downtrodden class of people, unable to question their circumstances, are being led by a ruling class of the privileged, afraid to ask many questions or alter paradigms out of fear of losing their wealthy positions. We are stuck in a primitive situation unable to budge from our Stone Age roots. Yeah, I know that calling us Stone Age is a bit dramatic, so maybe readers would prefer I reference that we are closer to our Bronze Age ancestors. But why would I be so condescending when humanity has made such incredible technological strides?

A subset of humanity has made those inventions, building upon advancements discovered by an even smaller group of highly intelligent creators. While many have benefited from the dispersion of tools of convenience and shelter offered to the masses, we individuals are further out of touch with life survival skills, personal sustainability skills, or even interests not ordained by mass culture that is actually created by a very small population of literate and technologically adept individuals. The average person cannot farm, make cloth, build a home, treat a wound, hunt, fish, write coherently, read at a respectable level, and most importantly, think.

Big claim, huh? If we are thinking creatures, then why is the misery bestowed upon so many? In my own way, I try to think about many things, many esoteric things that don’t impact my own life such as where do newts sleep. Are human networking topologies too rigid, will I ever really understand Gilles Deleuze, and does my knowledge of our environment offer me any insight I could share and inspire someone here on this blog with? In that thinking, I find it repugnant that we have “leaders” who are not, in fact, leaders. Former President Obama nor current President Trump ever took Caroline and me to Oregon or Europe; neither of them is responsible for our passports or our curiosity about places and cultures that inspire our imaginations. They only tend to be distractions for some and maybe attempt for the general betterment of society as a whole, but it is ultimately up to the population at large to want those changes. When a large segment of the population is in fear due to their Stone Age intellect and lack of ability to harness today’s tools, they slip further back into a type of primitivism that is so out of step with where we should be as a society. This begins to appear surrealistic. We are becoming the warped characters and distortions found on the artist’s canvas while not recognizing our role on this stage of absurdity. Collectively, we are the shadow figures on a cave wall, unaware of the others in our proximity. Mentally, we are deficient troglodytes pretending to have a grasp on what any of this is.

Today’s outcome could have been very different. The hit-and-run driver didn’t spin us around, didn’t push us off the road into the gravel, didn’t rear-end us, or shoot us off the freeway. With both vehicles traveling rapidly, we kissed and parted company. Repairing our car will cost us at least $1000, as that’s our deductible. Strangely, this doesn’t seem so horrible considering what the circumstances could have been, and in the end, it offers me something to think about and share nearly 2,000 words inspired by it.

But there’s a larger question that arises out of this episode: At what point in our lives are we shocked by the intellectual equivalent of a hit-and-run driver that leaves us aware that we haven’t recognized our own ignorance speeding along and risking our lives? In being hit, I was jarred by the complacency that I was driving just fine, and while the accident was in no way my fault, it does illuminate that no matter how aware you hope to be, there is always something that comes out of your blindspot and demands you see your limitations. When we come to understand that although we believed we knew how things looked and operated, but are in an instant challenged by our perception of reality, our state of being confounded is what surrealism strove to show us. We don’t really understand all angles, and some things are not as they appear. Do you really know what’s around the corner, or are you just hoping that things will go on as they always have?