Rafi

Rafi of Phoenix, Arizona

Shock greeted my brain while big uncertainty was writ large over this man’s face. It must have been the crazy look in my eyes as I came to an abrupt stop on my way to the ATM at this gas station and stared at him. Without saying a word, I pulled out my phone and frantically searched for something while looking up at him and then back to my phone. He looked worried as my smiles didn’t seem to allay his anxiety that I might be crazy. If you knew the location of this gas station you’d understand the distinct possibility that a man looking at him wild-eyed was indeed insane.

I found what I was looking for and at that point, I told this “stranger” that I knew him. He was certain we hadn’t met before. So, I turned my phone around and showed him a photo of him I had taken 12 years ago. I explained that I had snapped the photo at Indo-Euro Foods where he used to rent videos and surprise overtook his face along with a big smile. That old photo can be seen here, just click somewhere near this.

This is Rafi, originally from Afghanistan. He is now married and has two kids. Just as he was a dozen years ago, this is one of the happiest people I’ve ever had the good fortune to run into. I’ll have to stop in from time to time to say hi.

Where Is A Place?

A place

Today, I’m asking, “Where is a place?” because a place that was once one thing has changed to become something else. There’s the fast and easy answer that says nothing has changed other than the observer, but that’s only part of the story. A crass example might be found in two plots of land found in Oświęcim and another in nearby Brzezinka, both found in Poland. Back during World War I, a migrant worker camp was built in Oświęcim. After that war, Polish soldiers took over the facility. Prior to this, I’d imagine the area was farmland, but I cannot find definitive information to confirm that. Regarding the other location, meaning Brzezinka, it apparently was wide open just before development activities got underway.

Starting in 1940, the army barracks and, subsequently, the large plot of nearby land were being repurposed. Up to this point in history, these places were of no significance at all, but that changed as Oświęcim, infamously known as Auschwitz, and Brzezinka, better known as Birkenau, became two of the most notorious concentration camps. During their years of being operated as extermination camps, approximately 1.1 million people lost their lives there. Following World War II, the camps became memorials.

As memorials, these sites have become solemn grounds that remind humanity of the atrocities people are able to commit against one another. My point is that places start out as ordinary, yet if extraordinary events transpire, they can end up inscribed in cultural memories with significance that transcends the easily forgettable.

I know that this is a heavy-handed example where readers might say that nothing should be compared to such things and that I risk sliding towards the sacrilegious, but in my opinion, places hold memories, and while it is our collective knowledge that imbues a place with such notable attributes, they do exist.

Well, this was a long-winded (I’m well known for such things) way of getting to the main gist of my post, “Where is a place?” I’m currently at a place where I find the memory of what it was to have greater meaning to me than what I perceive the location to have now. I do understand that my own trajectory is constantly moving, but I am not the change I register as I sit here writing, observing, and contemplating. The differences are arriving with others who have started considering this place as one they could consider frequenting. The place is being repurposed.

Similarly, America as a place and an idea are mutable with a plasticity that, while still pliable, could at any time calcify and appear destined to collapse due to a rigidity that steals its flexibility. Back to my ugly references to concentration camps and the prisoners whose lives ended in Oświęcim, Brzezinka, or Treblinka, those who arrived in the four-year period of mass extermination saw their limited time in a camp as the horizon looking at the end of their existence. A killing system had an infinite grasp and could never change in the eyes of those destined to die there. Similarly, in pre-Soviet czarist Russia, an empire ruled for nearly 400 years before Lenin and Stalin brought the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics to be a force of control for almost 70 years before calcification crumbled its bones and wrought change. All systems appear to fail when change is lost to sclerotic stagnation.

Change is the operative word here today. Places change, and we change, but if we fail to transform ourselves and places do not change, we begin to normalize a docility that demands things stay the way they always were. The brilliance of America since its founding has been this endless metamorphosis that allowed us to adapt to the needs of the day, but today, we are seeing a pandering to base natures where those who abhor change want to pass on stability to strong men who offer promises of today being similar to the day, week, month, and years before when a place and your sense in it was known and familiar. This line of thinking negates ideas of change and, if not rooted out, risks dragging people into the inevitable convulsion that must catapult stagnation out of the doldrums.

The effort to break free of the crippling gravity found in the total loss of movement is akin to the rocket lifting a multi-ton payload into the heavens; all hell must break loose. The violence of the sort that tears apart what it is leaving behind is the revolution that upends those who brought malaise and are about to be murdered before their very eyes. War is then the inevitable outcome that must arrive to wash away the fear of change. Are we headed into that war?

I hope we are not moving towards conflagration as I surely do love the place I inhabit in my life at this time and feel loathe to change that, though I do enjoy my inner conflict that remains in a near-constant state of battle.

Our motto for the next decade could read, “Fighting an internal war against complacency for personal freedom.”

Unfolding Nothing

Unfolding Nothing

It’s time for a break, to do the laundry and wash my brain before unfolding the labyrinth of patterns that risk leaving creases in places they don’t belong. I’m entertaining the notion of languishing in a space of mindlessness, just drifting along on an open sea where analytical calm prevails, and thought currents have slowed. I can’t say I’ve been traveling deep within revelatory crevasses or discovered much new about myself as much as I’ve massaged the fabric of familiarity that allows things to fit in evermore comfortable ways hitherto familiar, yet not.

How does one find intentional boredom, which often seems elusive while otherwise showing at inopportune times when wishes for boredom were the furthest things from one’s mind? To sit down at a coffee shop with nothing to do, desiring to find nothing to say, only half considering the reading of a book because the real goal is to sit still and merely observe. But no, that brain abhorring the vacuum I’m trying to cultivate gets to work populating threads and streams with fragments of non-sequiturs and hoped-for mixed metaphors that are best left forgotten.

And then, just like that, the hour dilates due to a glitch in the matrix of someone else’s memory, and I find myself with an additional two empty hours. Striving to keep thoughts of action at bay, I try hard not to stare at possibilities but instead hold steady, rowing into my yearning for nothing. After all, what’s wrong with just sitting here playing word spaghetti with sentences that will challenge my wife to discover if my gobbledygook actually means anything?

You might never know it, but one hundred minutes have passed, and even more than that will have gone by before I was able to place a period at the end of this sentence. Then there will be the elapsed time between then and now when whatever immaterial string of words, falling short of sharing deeper anything-ness, will slowly appear, but to what end? Filler? Consider that my objective is not a Hegelian chore but may as well be characterized as a Sisyphusian uphill rock toss, a kind of coffee shop version of cornhole where the bags/rock are thought fragments culled from a languid mind failing to engage in the profound. And then, just like that, blam, we approach the two-hour mark, and I’ve conquered another paragraph demonstrating my unfolding of nothing.

Considering this last proposition, I suppose I have to admit failure as true success could only have been had if I were still staring at a blank page, or better yet, I’d fixed my gaze on some unfocused point on a horizon where a blur of indistinctness was washing thoughts off the cliff of observation. Where does one find this state of pure being with a truly empty mind?

Not According To Plan

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

Up at 4:30 a.m., and by 5:00, we are heading out to the car to drop off a couple of things before boarding our train that’s scheduled to leave at 5:20 this beautiful morning. Before that though, we needed to stop at the front desk here at La Posada Hotel and hand off our room key and check out. In passing, I asked about what time last night’s Amtrak finally pulled in, “It didn’t show up until after 10:30 p.m., and this morning’s train is already going to be over 2.5 hours late.” Oh no, “We’re on that train!”

Rail stop in Winslow, Arizona

We now know why Amtrak is so unpopular. If we could be certain we’d be arriving at our destination in Las Vegas, New Mexico before the restaurants closed, that would be one thing, but then, in consideration of returning to Winslow for our drive home on Sunday, if we were late three hours or more getting back here with another three hours ahead of us to drive home, we might not return to Phoenix before 1:00 a.m.

Talking to the attendant at the hotel’s front desk and to another guest out here trackside, we learned that freight has priority on this route. So, we sit here having a coffee and contemplate our options. This is lamentable as there is no refund for our train tickets, only a voucher can be had. We also don’t know if tonight’s lodging accommodation can be canceled without incurring the full cost. There’s also the idea that if tomorrow’s train is late, we might return to Winslow without any dinner options aside from a frozen burrito at a gas station. We are stuck in a sucky decision that isn’t fun, and we are more accustomed to fun than suck.

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

The decision to cancel the train and the hotel seemed to be the best option, though if the hotel in Las Vegas won’t refund us, we could also drive up there today. I called The Plaza Hotel and the young man who answered informed me that in consideration of the train failing us and that it was still so early, they’d refund our money. We also now have an Amtrak voucher of uncertain value but hope we might throw it at a ride this summer between San Diego and San Luis Obispo along the coast of California, though we’ll confirm the frequency of late trains on that route.

About the rest of today, we’ll head over to Flagstaff shortly to visit the arboretum and maybe the museum before going home. While there’s some minor sense of defeat, we shouldn’t really sulk too much, as even a single overnight adventure qualifies as something a whole lot better than sitting around doing a bunch of nothing.

Amtrak pulling in at the La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

This is the train we won’t be boarding because America doesn’t give a damn about sustainable transportation and capitalizing on its exquisite landscape via rail. As a people, we no longer think about a future as we are distracted by trying to survive the moment while maintaining absolute control and avoiding all things that smack of socialism but contradictorily embracing thoughts of totalitarianism. America smells more and more like a house on fire, but we can’t see the flames through the smoke. If you wonder how I can write something so hyperbolic just because we are skipping out on our first opportunity to ride the Amtrak, you’ve not read my previous few thousand posts to better understand where this is coming from.

Flower at the La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

But there are options such as stopping to smell the flowers, admire the flowers, and photograph the flowers. Then you get back in the car and accept that the plans have changed because they were never set in stone anyway.

Arboretum in Flagstaff, Arizona

Strike this from the proverbial bucket list: we’ve finally made it out to the Flagstaff Arboretum.

Arboretum in Flagstaff, Arizona

Well, this is interesting as I’ve never seen something like this before 56 tubes holding water that absorb the heat of the day and release it overnight to help regulate a more stable temperature in this Horticulture Center.

Arboretum in Flagstaff, Arizona

Only about 50 acres of the 200 owned by this non-profit are under cultivation due to the obvious: lack of funding or donations. What could be a significant draw for visitors simply isn’t, as they don’t offer craft beer, wood-fired pizza, or big-screen TVs featuring live mixed martial arts of badass people kicking the shit out of each other.

Arboretum in Flagstaff, Arizona

Nope, they have plants, flowers, and trees. And trees don’t fight.

Caroline Wise at the Arboretum in Flagstaff, Arizona

But get this: mature ponderosa pine trees offer the scent of vanilla, or maybe they smell more like butterscotch? Since Caroline learned this on a recent trip, she’s been insisting we stick our noses into the bark to see if we can sniff out the elusive aroma.

Arboretum in Flagstaff, Arizona

And there it is: on a somewhat hot day when the sap is running, we agree that we can both catch the scent of butterscotch; wow!

Arboretum in Flagstaff, Arizona

We will now test this on every ponderosa pine tree we run across to ensure this one wasn’t artificially scented to fool us.

Arboretum in Flagstaff, Arizona

Back at the parking lot, we chowed on the lunch we’d packed for our train journey and called it quits for the weekend. All in all, it was a beautiful, quick out-and-back trip away from the desert and, strangely enough, our last travel until the last day of the month.

Amtrak Ahoy – Trip 11

Near Payson, Arizona

It was less than 48 hours ago that I finished writing about our Memorial Day trip and here we are at the cusp of leaving for the next trip. As you can read from the title, this is trip number 11, and while we have ten behind us, Caroline and I are both flummoxed as to why we don’t have a clear sense of that magnitude. It’s been quite a long time since last we traveled so intensely which should be imparting the idea of being overwhelmed or something. Instead, it just feels normal. What can explain this?

This is a serious question. I don’t mean to imply that we somehow take these travels for granted; we are well aware that nothing is due us. Back in 2020, when we all had our plans disrupted, Caroline and I were still able to snag 28 days of travel, 21 of those days between the pandemic shutdown and prior to the availability of the vaccine. While we might have had moments that year of feeling trapped, I’m fairly certain we spent more time on vacation than probably 98% of the American people. Now, here we are in 2022, and we are in no way feeling trapped; we have 41 days of travel already behind us, with more than 60 to come before the new year. This should already hold great significance. Don’t get me wrong, we are utterly and profoundly grateful and excited at the start of all of our travels, even to places like Ajo, Arizona.

So, why isn’t this clobbering our senses? The best answer I can come up with this being in some way normalized is that even on the days and weekends we are not out on an adventure, our days at home are lived so large that they must nearly equate to being in an exotic locale exploring the extraordinary. The novelty that arrives with each day propels us into such memorable moments that the greatest majority of our time is as exciting as landing in Bergamo, Italy, for the first time. After a morning walk that often has us visiting with Lucy the Donkey and watching mockingbirds flutter from their perches, and a drive to work listening to Caroline read books to me (our current title is Two Years Before the Mast, Richard Henry Dana Jr.’s classic 1840 sea journal), followed by everything that comes after these terrific starts to the day, the value of a simple day is exponentiated. Maybe the travel no longer stands so far out because nearly every day has attributes that provide such exceptional quality that we might as well be on a Space-X rocket daily.

Enough of all that for the moment, as we are now only 4 hours away from taking off, and I have things to tend to, such as packing, that need to be done before I pick up Caroline. My 3-hour block of trying to write in between talking while having my first cup of coffee needs to come to an end. Regarding the title of today’s post, our destination is Winslow, Arizona, yep, the same one where people have been known to stand on corners, where tomorrow morning, we’ll be boarding our very first Amtrak train to travel somewhere else. If I share too much right now, I’ll have nothing for tomorrow’s story, and so with that, it’s time for a pause in the first part of this post.

North of Strawberry, Arizona

Our drive north follows much of the same route we traveled just a couple of weeks ago on our way to Holbrook. The road diverges at about the halfway point as we reach Payson, so instead of turning right in the middle of town, we’ll go straight and slightly west before cutting northeast to Winslow. As we left the Phoenix area, the temperature was a mind-numbing 113 degrees (45c). On our way up from the desert, there must have been more than 15 cars sidelined off the road that crumbled under the searing heat.

Approaching the Rim Country, as it’s known, we could see that there was a good chance rain was falling. The Mogollon Rim plateau towers at 7,300 feet over lowly Payson sitting in its shadow at 5,000 feet in elevation. It’s this change in elevation that draws so many visitors from the valley where we live to this corner of Arizona, as it’s considerably cooler up this way.

By the time we’ve passed through Strawberry and are reaching the heights of today’s drive, the rain that always remained ahead of us had dropped the temperature over 50 degrees (29c) to a pleasant 61 Fahrenheit or 16 degrees on the Celsius scale.

Highway 87 going north to Winslow, Arizona

The pine-tree-covered expanse of the Mogollon Rim gives way to the high plateau of the Little Colorado River valley. Out there, way out there, you’ll run into Hopi Lands, but before you get that far, you’ll pass through the Painted Desert, which is not our destination today.

Highway 87 going north to Winslow, Arizona

We are racing the setting sun, hoping to make it to our hotel before dark, but no matter that, there’s always time to stop for a photo of a dramatic sky. Looking west, if we had clear skies, you’d see Mt. Humphreys, which is part of the San Francisco Peaks in the distance, and at the foot of it all lies Flagstaff, Arizona.

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

In the nick of time, we reach the historic La Posada Hotel with a glimmer of fading sun still illuminating its roof. The last time we were here, and our first time, was in January of 2020, while there was still snow on the ground. Sadly, we’ll be here less than a dozen hours as we’ll be underway at the break of day tomorrow shortly after 5:00 a.m.

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

I don’t think Caroline nor I ever thought we’d stay a second time in this historic bit of Americana that at one point was destined for the wrecking ball.

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

As we made our way to our room for the night, we tried to remember which room we stayed in before but couldn’t come up with it. On this visit, we won’t let that go, so I’m noting that this time, we are staying in the Bob Hope room #208 with a small balcony looking to the north. An important note about these rooms, even in summer, they get mighty cold, and the A/C unit is nearly silent, a luxury among many of the places we stay in the desert.

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

This must be from lessons learned from excited passengers disembarking the train and entering the hotel from this rear entrance, boisterous in their excitement of arriving in Winslow. Whatever the reason, I think this is an elegant message about decorum when entering a place.

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

Before checking out tomorrow, Caroline will bring up the idea that we should come up here for a relaxed weekend of hanging out, knitting, writing, and eating, as we are only 3 hours away from home while simultaneously a world away. With that idea, it would afford us the time to take a tour of the facility to see the small corners we’ve missed while visiting this impressive design borne from the imagination of architect Mary Jane Colter.

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

An hour before I took this photo, the dining room was packed. Earlier in the day, I called ahead for a dinner reservation, but everything was spoken for until 7:45, with the kitchen closing at 8:30. We didn’t have long to wait as with all of our stops on the way up, it was well past 6:00 when we finally arrived and all of a sudden 7:45 didn’t seem that late for the last meal of the day. Our server told us of some stuffed squash blossoms; bring ’em was our quick response. This was our first encounter with them, and they made for a perfect appetizer. Maybe it was just us, but tonight’s dinner here at the Turquoise Room seemed a hundred times better than our previous visit.

La Posada Hotel in Winslow, Arizona

There’s not a thing to dislike about the La Posada Hotel, not even the gift shop. Hey, I’m a guy who hates shopping, and gift shops can be the worst when they are stuffed with generic stuff that is “supposed” to be representative of the place we are visiting, but this shop at the hotel really does seem to reflect not only the local history and culture but an attention to detail that lends authenticity (a slippery word I know) to our visit.

At some point after we checked in and after listening to more than a few random conversations, we heard from someone that tonight’s Amtrak was running late and thought nothing of it as it had nothing to do with our train tomorrow morning. Is this foreshadowing? It sure is.

Brand New American!

Caroline Wise has become an American Citizen today here in Phoenix, Arizona

Seemingly forever ago, back in 1995, Caroline moved with me from Germany to the United States, the land where I was born. We arrived here without a clue what we’d do for our careers; we were ready for an adventure doing unknown new stuff. Over the ensuing years, we accomplished many things and experienced an amazing number of adventures. After nearly 25 years, we’ve grown confident in this endeavor while experiencing a resounding sense of joy. With the sense that life was traveling on the right track, it was time to throw some new conditions into the mix. What if Caroline were to auto-magically transform from a German into an American? Or maybe she could be both simultaneously?

First of all, why might she/we want that? A couple of reasons, really. As a tax-paying resident alien (green card holder) for all these years, Caroline is entitled to a lot more social security here in the United States than in Germany. However, that entitlement is tied to maintaining her residency here, among other factors. So, if Caroline wanted to take up retirement in Germany (or just wanted to stay outside of the U.S. for an extended period), she wouldn’t qualify to receive her social security without an address in America. This is one of the drawbacks of being a resident alien. Secondly, there are “luxuries” that come with being a U.S. passport holder, such as the certainty you can easily reenter the United States from abroad. Every time when we return to the U.S. from Europe or recently from Mexico we encounter that feeling of nervosity when we fear that somehow her reentry will be denied.

Caroline Wise has become an American Citizen today here in Phoenix, Arizona

If she could maintain her European status and also be a U.S. citizen, we would be free to make choices later in life regarding living options that wouldn’t be limited by how long visas allow one or the other of us to remain somewhere. This process, though, is not an easy one. I wrote back on September 21, 2020, that Caroline was applying for her U.S. Citizenship; what I didn’t mention was that she’d just received approval from the German government that would allow her to retain her German citizenship. So, here we were more than three and a half years into this process, and then on May 24th, 2022, she walked into the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Office to take the citizenship test and possibly be sworn in that morning.

Caroline Wise has become an American Citizen today here in Phoenix, Arizona

When I dropped her off, my wife was a German citizen; the next time I would see her she’d likely be an American citizen too. Or so I thought. As for me, I was sitting at a Burger King at the corner of the parking lot, sipping a coffee, and waiting as I couldn’t accompany her into the facility. Every so often, she texted me; she was pretty nervous.

After an hour and a half, a message was delivered to my phone, “Passed.”  Huge relief was felt between us, but her fingerprints had expired, and the resubmission would take another 60 to 90 minutes. We thought this meant she would still be able to attend a swearing-in ceremony on the same day, but as it turned out over 2 hours later, it wasn’t meant to be. She emerged from the building holding an invitation to an oath ceremony to be held at the District Court in Phoenix on June 3rd. Which brings us to today – and all the photos in this blog post.

Caroline Wise has become an American Citizen today here in Phoenix, Arizona

Since the venue was the U.S. District Court, I was able to attend the ceremony. About 70 applicants and their family members jammed into the courtroom and viewing gallery. Just before the ceremony started, volunteers were requested, and Caroline and two other applicants raised their hands without knowing for what. It turned out that they would be called on later to speak to the attendees about their experience as immigrants.

The ceremony included speeches (including a recorded message by the President), the all-important oath of allegiance, the national anthem, and the pledge of allegiance. I could tell that Caroline was close to tears because when it was her time to step up to the microphone, her voice was a bit shaky, but she pulled it off nicely.

After the ceremony, Caroline insisted I take her photo with the presiding judge, the Honorable Stephen McNamee, as a nod to her dad, Hanns, a retired judge of the German Federal Court of Justice.

Caroline Wise has become an American Citizen today here in Phoenix, Arizona

Not quite 30 minutes old as a new American, Caroline was registered to vote, and a U.S. Passport was applied for. Her social security card update will have to wait until we get her citizenship certificate back.

Our first stop was at the drive-thru at McDonald’s for a Happy Meal, followed by shopping for her first AR-15, while a pair of new yoga pants from Lululemon arrives next week. With all of those things done, she’ll really be 100% American. Please excuse this last bit of jest; it’s just my sarcasm to throw in some of the uglier American stereotypes, as she’d never wear yoga pants. [I might – in a yoga studio only, though – Caroline ^_^]