Sonal invited me for dinner again, and this time, I remembered to take a photo. Only too bad the two youngest members of this all-female household declined to be in the picture… We had a delicious moong bean dish and bakhri-type bread, plus mango for dessert. I will have to ask John to ask for the moong bean recipe. Very yummy, thanks, Sonal and Ba!
Auntie and Grandpa Going to Florida – Day 8
Thunder wakes me before dawn. I roll over and go back to sleep, only to wake on my own minutes before the alarm was supposed to rouse me. Our breakfast will be at IHOP followed by getting onto the next of the three main reasons for this trip. First was seeing Jessica, the second was Grandpa going to Camp Shelby, and now the third visiting the Densfords.
At breakfast, Auntie reminisces about this neighborhood she knows so well. We had no problem finding our way; we even traced the roads Auntie would take when riding her bicycle from her villa to the Days Inn, which used to have a different restaurant than the IHOP we’re at now. Before arriving for breakfast, we stopped at her old place so I could see the house of which I received many photos, along with Auntie and her husband, Ken Burke, while I lived in Germany for ten years.
Auntie tells me the story of how she ultimately came to reside in Florida and the Bradenton area, in particular, following her retirement. She had gone to visit Lillydale, New York, with a friend one day, and one of the psychics asked if she would like a reading. For $10, Auntie agreed to have her fortune read and sat down.
The psychic told her she had to go to the St. Petersburg, Florida, area and that she saw the letter K as having significance, along with something about chicken. Without a lot going on, Auntie called on Grandpa’s wife, my grandmother Hazel, to help her drive down to Florida. On arrival, Auntie picked up a paper and found a real estate listing of a villa she would soon be buying.
Fast forward to a dinner engagement with friends that began with a lady embracing one of the guests named Ken with the exclamation, “K, we have missed you so.” Auntie had just learned Ken’s nickname. After dating for a while, Auntie found that Ken’s favorite food was chicken. So all the pieces the psychic had told Auntie about had come together, and she was astounded to this day that this lady in Lily Dale so accurately had foretold my aunt’s future. What the psychic hadn’t shared with Auntie was that Ken would ultimately be my great-aunt’s first husband: she married him at the age of 69.
Breakfast done we head to our destination, the Densford residence. Grandpa knocks on the door, and after a couple of minutes, a frail, wispy lady answers the door: it is Virginia, and right behind her is her sister Marion. Stepping into the living room, Auntie grabbed both women and hugged them with tears in her eyes; she choked me up, and this wouldn’t be the only time this day she would do that.
It has been three years since last these old ladies had seen each other. For many years they had been neighbors here in Bradenton, but also back in Angola, New York. They have been lifelong friends and today is one more precious moment to revisit one another. Marion is the younger sister of Virginia, who recently celebrated her 90 birthday. I have been told that I met Marion many a time but the memory of a 4-year-old is not so robust, nor is the memory of the 41-year-old writing this.
Auntie’s hearing is normally bad, really bad. Listening to Marion and Virginia, it seems her hearing is as acute as it has ever been. They swap stories fast, catch up on who’s sick and passed away, coming alive in a way I had never witnessed before. Running through events, Auntie was actually riled up about the treatment Martha Stewart received, and she demanded with vocal authority that if her health and legs were not in such poor shape she and the girls would go out to women’s groups across America and demand equal treatment of Ken Lay of Enron and Bernie Ebbers of Worldcom.
I am asked to recount our trip across the country so far and tell of driving out of Arizona, New Mexico, and into the Pecos Hills of Texas. I talked of the Bayou Coast of southern Louisiana, our detour to Camp Shelby, and our arrival in Pensacola to visit Jessica.
I also have a rather funny anecdote to share with them about passing wind. I do so with Auntie’s permission. Traveling near Biloxi, we stopped for catfish a few nights before. Typically, the noise in busy restaurants bothers Auntie due to her hearing aids picking up too many sounds. As we leave the restaurant, Auntie tugs at my arm to tell me, “I am so happy this restaurant was so loud tonight; I passed gas the entire meal.” Oh God, Auntie, too much info. I told her I’ll be calling her Farts Burke for the remainder of our trip.
Auntie gets a side cramp laughing at this today; she had forgotten about this episode and was tickled to hear it retold. If nothing else can be said as far as body functions go, old people have no shame left.
Ninety minutes after arriving I ask everyone to step outside as the gray clouds have given way to blue skies. Sitting in the front yard, I snap a photo that I would swear Auntie’s smile erased years of aging from her face.
Before walking back inside, we knocked on the door of a neighbor whom Auntie had known while she lived around the corner in the same development. Bill, a now slight man, answers the door. Auntie and Bill exchange greetings, determine who has died, and Bill begins to tell Auntie about his cancer. He begins with that his testicles and prostate have been removed, which has him having to urinate all the time now.
Not just that, but when he has to go, it is right now. He said he almost lives next to the toilet now, sleeps with a bedpan, but still manages to wake at 3:00 a.m. all wet. If he goes to the bank he has to put on a catheter and wear a bag so he doesn’t wet his pants in line. This is told straight-faced and deadpan, as I said above.
Back inside, I ask to be forgiven as I would like to excuse myself and use the turning of the weather to make my way towards the beach to see if I can snap a few pix before the clouds move back in. With a promise to return in an hour, they encouraged me to take my time. I do.
Driving away, I was considering returning right away instead of fighting traffic on a road under construction, which is the road I need to take to the beach. Plus, clouds are to the south, to the north, and behind me in the east. I am struck with the fact that this is my first time alone outside of sleeping, so I turn on the music and turn it up. Now motivated, I take the chance that I can get to the coast for a photo of the Gulf of Mexico with some blue sky. It is not long before I am on the bridge, crossing over to Anna Maria Key.
The sea is green; the blue sky opens as clouds dissipate. The sun sparkles in the crashing surf, and couples walk along the water’s edge barefoot, enjoying the absence of the forecasted rain and winds.
Measuring the beauty quotient multiplied by the weather potential divided by the relaxation-driven retirement population in addition to the throngs who descend on the area for spring training, this place has the potential to be overrun. It isn’t, though; it is pleasant, with relatively light traffic and easy parking right next to the beach. Anyone who’s been to Maine or the coast of Belgium in summer can tell horror stories about traffic snarls and overcrowding.
From one beach access point to the next, I have to stop at nearly everyone for another photo so Caroline can see this place and demand that I bring her here. Gulf Drive is the two-lane road taking me to the northern end of this small island. On that end is a small park with a fantastic view.
A little boy is throwing bread or chips to the birds who are lining up for the treats. His equally little sister is laughing and yelling while chasing the birds, who are startled and take flight only to hover just out of her reach until they sense a moment of quiet. They quickly land to finish picking up the meal strewn over the white sand.
Pelicans fly by, shorebirds walk along, while others fly directly at me. On a nearby pier, fishermen can be seen casting a line into the clear green water. In the grasses, wildflowers are blooming bright yellow. It is no wonder this part of Florida has become a draw for retirees.
Having my fill of picture taking and being aware that Grandpa will need more meds and maybe some lunch or early dinner, it is time to return to the villas. The four of them were just talking away, and for a short time, I re-entered the conversation. I asked if anyone was hungry, and Grandpa said, “We just ate,” well, Grandpa, that was about 7 hours ago. Marion declines, but Virginia says yes, which changes Marion’s mind. Auntie is hungry, as am I.
Bob Evans restaurant was the choice for the group. Grandpa finds out that he is hungry and has a meal with the rest of us. A nearby table starts a conversation with me, asking what I’m doing with the old people. Is this really such an uncommon sight? This isn’t the first time this has happened; it happened in Van Horn, Texas, Lafayette, Louisiana, and Apalachicola, Florida. I explain that I have brought my great-aunt and grandfather out for a cross-country road trip, and they are so impressed that I am nearly embarrassed.
Some have told me that this is one of the most important things I will do in my lifetime. Others have said that I am the greatest nephew/grandson for making such a wonderful gesture. A lady from Illinois told me that I was acting in such an honorable manner that I should be proud of. At tonight’s table, the couple at the other table went on about how nice this was and how they wished other young people would take an interest in their elderly relatives’ happiness.
At the end of our meal, another couple who had been sitting in earshot of the earlier conversation stopped at our table as they were leaving and congratulated me for taking the time to spend a vacation with such wonderful people and hoped others could be so inspired. Almost awkwardly, I start feeling like the celebrated example of a legend who, at the tender age of 41, sacrifices his selfish interests for the enjoyment of his elderly family to take them across the country through hardship and poor weather just to see their family more than two thousand miles away.
In reality, they help me afford the luxury of taking yet more photos of our stunning countryside, and we are traveling fairly comfortably in our minivan to the Days Inns, Best Westerns, and a few random lodgings at the in-between locations.
After dinner, I deliver the Densfords back home. We agree to meet at 8:30 for breakfast and I take Grandpa and Auntie back to our hotel. I head out again, this time going north and then west, trying to capture a nice sunset photo.
I see many nice shots of the setting sun but no opportunity to pull over and frame it. Behind trees, homes, and businesses, I try to grab a spot but the sun is falling out of the sky like the proverbial lead balloon. I manage a couple of snaps, but nothing that comes close to capturing what I had been seeing moments earlier.
Caroline’s Classmates
Srujana and John are my mates in the Java 202 class that I’m attending at Paradise Valley Community College. John, his wife Barb, and I took the 101 class last semester. I met Srujana through the extended “Indo Euro Family.” The class is a lot of fun but, of course also tons of work. This was also the first evening I drove myself to and from class!
Auntie and Grandpa Going to Florida – Day 7
Outside my window this Monday morning, the sky is glowing orange. Across the street, the Gulf of Mexico lies in near-silence as it gently laps at the shore. To the west, clouds are building into thunderheads for storms expected along the panhandle of Florida later today. Another hotel breakfast, and we are again on the road.
On this return drive through Apalachicola, I took a moment to check out a small corner of the historic district and then stopped along a bayside park where Caroline and I had stopped with my mother-in-law a couple of years earlier. This small town of Apalachicola is one of my favorites in all of Florida. The town has not been commercially invaded yet; no massive new homes and no high-rise condos have crept in. The original charm of its perfect setting is alive and well-maintained.
Making quick time across the southern states was ok but here on these white sand beaches and their clear waters, I want to linger. Thoughts bombard me to take off my shoes and walk barefoot in the sand. I want to kick at the water and drag my toes through the surf before taking a couple of hours to thoroughly inspect all the shells for the best specimens.
Our mission after visiting Jessica was to get to Bradenton, Florida, in order for Grandpa and Auntie to visit some friends. Along the way, we have taken brief moments to see the sights not seen before by these two in all their years of living right here in America. They, too, like so many others, have never bothered to get off the main road.
At times, Grandpa has trouble seeing the road for what it is and is trying to act as the driver from his passenger seat. Auntie, on the other hand, is traveling like a pro with maps in her lap, following the road by staying up with the instructions of my meticulous itinerary. She looks for flowers, plants, birds, and more of the boiled peanuts I so desperately desire.
Morning here on the coast is a lesson in tranquility. Approaching spring, the trees are fresh with new growth that is especially vibrant in the coastal sunshine.
I could drive this road for a thousand years. Make a million stops to inspect anything and everything that comes into view. From the white concrete of this bridge to the dew on leaves, hugging white sands and listening to the light wind rustle the grasses on the soft dunes next to the shore. All of these are moments that should be ingrained into the etchings of my memory, never to be forgotten.
The day rolls along, getting better by the mile. It is a perfect 74 degrees with deep blue skies dotted with the occasional white fluffy cloud. We fall behind with my constant stops for photos; I want it all for memories, for sharing with family, for savoring on a day when I may no longer be able to come and go as easily as I do now.
Thickets line the road. Blackwaters reflect grayish trees growing out of their darkness. Cypress sends up roots like buds emerging to flower, and birds sing. I am mesmerized by all of this and saddened, too, knowing that many a traveler can never see this profound beauty laid out before them. It is free for the taking, but others’ cynicism can create barriers that act as blinders where they follow the broken yellow stripe in the center of the road to the next stop.
Every so often, a town emerges between woodlands. At times, the place is not much more than a gas station or two at an intersection with a few homes visible from the road. Other times, only some remains are off hiding and nearly gone, falling into decay behind the trees. The community church is not much more than a hulking shell with a pew or two left and a broken piano in the corner.
Where boiled peanuts had once been enjoyed along a busy road, the new highway built miles away diverted people away from these places. Without the traffic, they die a slow death, and consequently, everything fades away. The joy of serendipitous finds or stopping for Sunday services and catching the choir was a uniquely different time than the homogenized pop culture we are cultivating today.
Not all is lost yet. There is still the adventurous traveler who takes these roads and the hold-out residents who don’t want to be absorbed into a vanilla world of look-and-act-alike banalities. The rural fish stand, a taxidermist, and a small bar and grill can cling to life with just a trickle of traffic. Florida may have huge insects, high humidity, hurricanes, road kill stew myths, NASCAR, mullets, snowbirds, and the weirdest news this side of Germany but I have yet to meet an unfriendly person here.
Toll roads await us. Here a toll, there a toll, everywhere a toll-toll, the collector takes another dollar and another. The sun peeks through from behind dark clouds that come and go while we fight to make our way through heavy traffic, passing through Tampa to St. Petersburg on our way to Bradenton.
Checked into another motel, we ventured back out for dinner and some supplies. Auntie has been feeling a little “stopped up” and I am introduced to a new type of embarrassment I never could have imagined. I find us a drugstore and start the hunt discreetly. Overhead, I find the description of the product line I seek, Laxatives. OK, where are they? Bingo found the first item, suppositories, not just any old ones but Fleet Suppositories.
The next item isn’t readily visible but ultimately was found with some help. I had to ask where the hot water bottles were. If you wonder what was so embarrassing about things so far, well, it wasn’t anything yet. That happened as I approached the counter, and my tools for unplugging were being rung up.
The young woman at the counter is a gothic tattooed and pierced ‘grrrl.’ As I approach, I’m compelled to blurt out, “You know, I thought it was embarrassing to have to go to a drug store and buy condoms when I was 20 years old. I thought that would be the worst transaction I would ever have to make, but today, I have found a new low. You probably wouldn’t really believe me that these suppositories and enema bag are for my great aunt out in the car would you?”
Back at the car, Auntie is happier than a clam. Her long bout with constipation is about to come to an end this evening. This dialogue about function, bowel, and urinary issues is a common one at any given hour. I have driven three thousand miles and heard, talked about, asked, inquired, and helped get to and will soon be dreaming of bathrooms and the problems old age brings regarding elimination.
Our weather is supposed to take a turn for the worse in the coming days, according to tonight’s forecast. Thunderstorms and tornado warnings north of us loom large, but maybe, like other TV weather forecasts, this one will be as wrong as the others. I wish for continued clear skies and that everything comes out ok for Auntie as I go to sleep at nearly 1:00 a.m. after another great day.
Rinku Having Dinner with Caroline
This is one of the blog entries where a photo was discovered dated for this day, but whatever was written and how the entry was lost is not known. What I do know is that this was during the time that I’d taken Auntie and Grandpa on a road trip to Florida, and Caroline was having dinner with Rinku Shah at our place.
Auntie and Grandpa Going to Florida – Day 6
Sunday, though it could be any day, as the road trip has made hay of the necessity of knowing which day of the week it is. Up early to meet Jessica for breakfast in the galley – Navy speak for the mess hall – but upon arrival, we learn that no civilians are allowed, so we are turned away. This means that misinformation was given to us yesterday regarding eating dinner here. Hah, this is from the group responsible for information dominance.
The last reference is about Jessica’s job in the Navy, where she is being trained in data interpretation. Jessica did her basic training in Chicago, Illinois, and is quickly approaching the end of her first year of a four-year commitment. Here at Corry Station near Pensacola, Florida, she is in her next phase of training. Today, we had the chance to see Jess in her dress uniform; she donned it, especially for Auntie and Grandpa. She is too tired to change into her civilian clothes after hanging out until four in the morning, so we leave the base to get some breakfast.
Without a lot of dining options, we resign ourselves to the only choice in town, Waffle House. Afterward, Pensacola Naval Air Station and the National Museum of Naval Aviation await our visit. The air station couldn’t be better kempt; like any military installation I have ever visited, it is immaculate. With this station here on the Florida coast and its own wide stretch of white sandy beaches, this looks like an ideal assignment for any sailor. Getting on the installation was easy enough; Jessica simply waved her badge; for anyone else, you will only need proof of insurance, vehicle registration, and identification for everyone in the car.
The Museum opened at 9:00 a.m., and we were nearly the first visitors there. Auntie opted for the guided tour, so we got her a wheelchair. She and Jessica headed off on their own while Grandpa and I meandered amongst the more than 100 aircraft on display in this large facility. Our first stop is at a Blue Angels jet and I goad Grandpa into crawling up the ladder and shimmying into the pilot’s seat. Grandpa sends me a wave from the cockpit; I snap it and nearly need a can opener to pry him back out of the cramped quarters.
I asked a staff member if a P-38 might be found here, and while the Navy never used the P-38, the Museum does have one on display anyway. This plane is important to Grandpa as it is the one he was helping build while working for Curtis Aircraft in Buffalo, New York, before the war.
Occasionally, I see Jessica pushing Auntie between aircraft as they take their own path through the museum. After the P-38, we look at amphibious aircraft, a bi-plane, various old and modern fighters, helicopters, fighters brought back from watery graves, some old rare examples from an early flight, along with a good amount of photos that show the times when some of the craft were in service.
After an hour and a half and Grandpa tiring, we leave the museum.
It is a 50-mile drive northwest to the outskirts of Mobile, Alabama, where we head to walk the decks of the World War II-era battleship U.S.S. Alabama. Auntie has never been on a battleship. She had enquired in her more youthful days about the possibility of finding employment doing something on a large seacraft but came up empty-handed. So today, at 93 years old, Auntie has her first opportunity to spend time on a battleship.
Being a great sport, Auntie poses with the big guns on the front of the ship as we are both amazed at the size and weight of everything around us. We read the plaques along the way, and we both wonder out loud what it must have been like out on war-torn waters with guns blazing and aircraft attacking.
Jessica and Grandpa wander off to inspect the decks below and the tower above. An hour passes here at the memorial park before we start on our way back to the car. Grandpa was supposed to take a look at a submarine on display here, but after walking the ship and the air museum, he decided he’d had enough walking and let Jessica go on her own.
By the time we get back to Pensacola, it is already time to drop off Jessica so we can resume our trek southeast. Goodbye is too quick. I gave her some words of encouragement and told her to be determined to maintain pride in herself, her family, and her family name by remaining upstanding and doing the right thing no matter the difficulty. I hug her, telling her how great the short amount of time I have had with her, but regrettably, I forget to tell my daughter how much I love her.
Although I hope she knows just how much I love her as I am here with family just to say hello and spend time with her, I still feel that I lost an opportunity to tell her in person. So, I am taking the time here to let my daughter, Jessica Nicole Wise, know that her father loves her and is happy to see her making the best out of what she has undertaken. Good luck, Jess!
It is later than we planned for in leaving Pensacola, so the drive to Apalachicola is expedient and without fanfare. Maybe two stops for a photo, a bathroom stop or two, a quick snack at McDonald’s, and it’s drive, drive, drive.
Outside of Port St. Joe, we move into Eastern Standard Time, arriving at our Best Western Hotel in Apalachicola near 8:30 p.m. Another unloading of the car, situating the folks in their room, and then running over to my room to do the same. Dinner tonight is fast food from Burger King – our junk food day. The King is the only place opened this late, Apalachicola is a small town.