Mother and Son Going to Buffalo, NY – Day 4

Michigan

Never before have my mother or I had to deal with water that smelled worse. The strong odor of sulfur hits your nose, and then the iron in the water splashing on your lips tastes of blood. Our showers were taken quickly and felt mostly ineffectual. Bottled water was necessary for brushing our teeth.

Stepping outside, though, was a dream with blue skies and not a hint of wind, making for a picture-perfect reflection in the lake in front of our lodging. We are later than usual getting onto the road, seeing we slept in, so it’s already after 9:00 as we continue our march eastward.

Michigan

Out in the middle of nowhere, all we can do is drive, admiring the trees, flowers, and the winding road taking us over the Michigan landscape here in summer.

Michigan

In Marquette, Michigan, we reach Lake Superior again. No wonder this lake feels like an ocean; it’s 350 miles long by 160 miles wide, making it impossible to see the other side no matter the direction you look. A little turned around, we quickly righted our path and ended up at a small corner of the bay. We’re near an old platform once used for filling ore into barges headed to steel mills that dotted the Great Lakes in former times.

A local fish shop looks like it has the potential to offer breakfast. It turns out they sell fresh raw fish and nothing else. The proprietor suggests a place around the corner and up the hill called the Nordic Inn, which turns out to work fine, satisfying our morning hunger attack.

Michigan

Passing the Bahrman Potato Warehouse in Skandia, Michigan I needed to stop for this photo due to the heavy sag of the roofs. It wasn’t just the state approaching collapse that I wanted to note but the fact that it was a potato barn, and in my limited thoughts about growing spuds, I’d not thought of them outside of Idaho. Such is the effectiveness of marketing and branding as Michigan is known for cars and Motown, or can you think of anything else?

Michigan

It may as well be summertime in California and Florida all year round, as the constant buzz of activity and throngs of people suggest that the crowds are on vacation there every day. Here we are moving over some incredibly beautiful landscapes in Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Michigan in the middle of summer, and there is nobody out here. This northern part of the Midwest doesn’t seem to draw in that many visitors, which is perplexing. Maybe lakes and forests only hold deep appeal to those who dwell in deserts.

Karen Goff and John Wise in Michigan

With the crazy pace of driving now slowing, we’ll hopefully take more opportunities to step out of the car together to experience the places we are passing through. Here we are on day four already, and this is the first selfie of my mother and me standing in front of Lake Michigan. Over the coming 12 days, there will be very few photos of my mother, which is a bit tragic as this was supposed to be something more than a simple sightseeing trip to New York. At 57 years old, my mom does not have much stamina for physical activity, which includes simply walking. Even 11 years ago, when Caroline and I were in America from Germany to get married, she ended up not being at our midnight ceremony on the Las Vegas strip due to being too tired when she was only 46 years old.

Michigan

I wish I was here with Caroline as there would be no doubt that we’d walk out to the Manistique East Breakwater Lighthouse there in the distance. Instead, I have to put it in the catalog of places to return to.

Michigan

I did have the opportunity to visit the Seul Choix Point Lighthouse in Mueller Township, and while I got a panorama from up the tower, it didn’t turn out as nicely as I’d hoped, so there’s this view.

Michigan

It took us until late afternoon to pass from the north of the Upper Peninsula to the south and over to St. Ignace, Michigan, where we are now. It’s too late in the day for the ferry to Mackinac Island, which we feel won’t give us enough time to visit, with the last ferry returning to the mainland at 9:00 p.m.

Michigan

Putting off Mackinac until tomorrow we decide to head down the eastern shore of Lake Michigan. Over the 5-mile-long bridge to the mainland, let’s see what we can find.

A tip earlier in the day suggested we stop to eat at the Legs Inn Restaurant in Cross Village if we were in the area. Things didn’t work out timing-wise to do so, but it certainly becomes a place to bring Caroline. Another recommendation just beyond Cross Village suggested we drive the M-119 scenic road. It was about to deliver a week’s worth of oohs and aahs.

Michigan

The road is a single lane with barely enough room for two cars to pass. Even a separating line wouldn’t fit on this narrow path as nobody could stay on their side of the road. This is the Tunnel of Trees road. It twists and turns, shaded by the canopy of leaves that blot out the sky. As we enter clearings, we have the feeling of having left a movie theatre with our eyes needing to adjust to the bright light.

Off to our right and occasionally visible through the thicket is Lake Michigan. On our left are some incredibly gorgeous homes buried in the woods. The sun is getting low in the sky, with an amber glow developing over the lake. Neither Mom nor I can believe we almost changed the itinerary to skip this part of the trip with the idea we could instead make it all the way to Maine. We are both mesmerized by the incredible place in which we have found ourselves.

Michigan

And then it gets even better. The town of Harbor Springs sits on Little Traverse Bay and must be one of the most beautiful towns my mother, and I have ever seen in America. We agree that Telluride, Colorado; Jackson Hole, Wyoming; Pt Reyes or Big Sur, California; Ketchum, Idaho, and Bar Harbor, Maine, can’t hold a candle to the extraordinary combination of elements that make this a top location for both of us.

Michigan

We drive right through Petoskey on the hunt for a motel, though we take a quick pause at a scenic overlook to grab a shot of the sunset. I should point out that this far north, the sun doesn’t actually set until after 9:30 p.m., so we know if we putz around looking at sunsets, it will be 11:30 before we check into a motel.

Drats, turned around, a wrong turn, and finally, we are in Charlevoix but not able to find a quaint waterside room. It is 10:30 when we open our door. Charlevoix in the dark, looks to hold a lot of promise for the morning, so it’s time for me to close this chapter and get to sleep. It’s midnight.

Mother and Son Going to Buffalo, NY – Day 3

Cozy Rest Motel in Luverne, Minnesota

Up and gone early again but not early enough. We are 3 hours behind the itinerary. Breakfast had to wait until we were in Marshall, Minnesota. Normally, I’d avoid Perkins, but they have the basics, and there weren’t many choices out this way.

This land of 10,000 lakes is a bit shy by my count here on State Road 23. We pass a few lakes here and there, but we are driving by a lot more corn. The prairies seem to be primarily farmed for beans and corn, though a smattering of wheat can be spotted here and there.

Minnesota

The ground becomes hillier, and there are more trees, but we’ll be halfway up the state before dense forest replaces farmlands. As I look out at this landscape, I can’t help but think of Caroline and what her interest would be in stopping to admire the view. I don’t have the impression that my mother much cares one way or the other, but even though she’s never been to Minnesota before, she’s already seen enough and is ready for the next thing.

Minnesota

While signs point to lakes on side roads, Mom is more excited about seeing Lake Superior, so we press on.

Minnesota

We passed from Duluth, Minnesota, into Superior, Wisconsin, where the call for something to eat couldn’t be ignored any longer. Lunch wouldn’t be complete until Mom satisfied her craving for frozen custard, so we stopped for two cones. Onward to the lake.

Minnesota

Stops along the random smaller lakes are few, but I have to capture some kind of photographic record to share with Caroline so she can dream with me about our return someday to these beautiful lands.

Minnesota

There’s so much to see along the road but so little time to explore it. Our lack of spontaneity due to expectations of places we must visit in Buffalo is making us chase over the landscape as though the journey to our destination is of little consequence. I have to give credit to my mother-in-law that no matter how often we want to stop to check out the details of where we are, she’s always a good sport and happy to learn about the local environment.

Minnesota

In the distance, we get a glimpse of Lake Superior where these iron-rich waters are flowing into.

Karen Goff in Michigan at Lake Superior 2005

Just north of Herbster, Wisconsin we stop to dip our toes into Lake Superior. Probably because of the heavy snow and harsh winters that the region has a reputation for, I was expecting the lake to be on the icy side. Here on a small beach only a few feet wide and bordered by a grassy area with some trees, we are offered nice views and a short walk next to the warm water of a lake that looks a lot like an ocean. The major difference between this and the Pacific is our need to remain vigilant against mosquitoes, flies, ticks, and the myriad other flying or jumping pests instead of sleeper waves and sharks.

Minnesota

We’ve been on State Route 13 South, which is actually traveling north up toward the Apostle Island National Lakeshore drive before turning south near the top of the peninsula. That, though, will not be where we will be going today as the itinerary is little more than a document of general direction. So we cut off on a side road that will deliver us back to civilization where food can be found because, believe it or not, Mom is thinking about food and doesn’t want to be late for dinner.

We think we’ve figured out that Armor-All contains a sugar that’s behind the reason why thousands of flies swarm the car when we stop. This is no exaggeration, just one tire had more than 50 flies on it in under a minute of stopping. All the plastic surfaces are attracting them, too. Mom tried spraying DEET bug spray on the car, but it seems these flies are impervious to its poison, or they’ve learned to thrive on it. I suppose if I’d simply not stop in these inconvenient places to take photos we wouldn’t have to suffer the bugs. I’m wondering how in the world I agreed to do this.

Michigan

Skipping the Apostle Islands, we are soon passing through Ashland, keeping our eye open for something that looks appealing for dinner. Our stop has conditions that stipulate the place must feature walleye. Well, we’re not seeing it, which is obviously frustrating, Mom. Bitterly, we drive on. Finally, there next to the road is a small Inn that seems promising.

I walk in to check the menu as Mom waits in the car, not able to be bothered because she’s certain my hunch is wrong. I’m greeted by Mike, the owner of the Kimball Inn here in Hurley, Wisconsin, near the Michigan Stateline, who tells me that beyond sandwiches, BBQ, and burgers, they have fish, starting his list with Walleye. I tell him he needn’t continue as that’s what my waiting mother wants. Mom is fetched, and we sit down to a great fish dinner. Neither mom nor I are the slightest bit disappointed, nor are we still hungry.

Michigan

Mike suggested we take the more scenic M28 across Michigan instead of the two we’d been traveling on, and before we knew it, we were entering the Eastern Time Zone. We are two hours further east when I pull into The Edgewater Motel in Three Lakes, Michigan, for a lakeside room costing a mere $43, including tax. I’m exhausted after so little sleep over the past three days and 2,000 miles. No time for dessert and nowhere to find something anyway. Goodnight.

Mother and Son Going to Buffalo, NY – Day 2

Texas Sunrise

It was 1:00 a.m. last night when I signed off. Somehow, my snoring didn’t make an impact; I will try harder tonight. The alarm rings before sunrise at 5:45, and just 45 minutes later, we are underway. It feels crazy that we are supposed to drive from Texas all the way to Minnesota today, but that’s our goal. I’m tired as I pull out of the parking lot; Mom is sleeping 5 minutes later.

Texas

We’re on Highway 54 through Texhoma, Oklahoma, while Mom sleeps quietly on my right. This is a great time of day as she’s not talking about food.

Oklahoma

Mom sleeps for another hour and a half, only waking briefly as we cross the Oklahoma Stateline.

Kansas

Mom opens an eye as we enter Kansas. This time, she stays awake as she’s hungry and wants breakfast. What kind of weird reality have I volunteered myself for? Driving through Liberal, Kansas, still on the 54, which is called Pancake Blvd here. As we drive through town, we see signs for Dorothy’s House and the Land of Oz, and just across the street is a Pancake House. Mom says, perfect. The Swedish pancakes are a kind of Kansanian interpretation but are still yummy. We leave, agreeing we could both go for a couple more of those lace-like pancakes.

Rolling hills, corn, and grasses punctuated by grain elevators are the major sights along our road. We have been driving northeast until reaching Pratt where we curve more northerly in order to catch the 135. Small towns, grain elevators, and rising humidity are drawing us toward Nebraska. Still in Kansas and approaching Salina, Caroline over in Arizona recommends we stop for lunch today at a BBQ in town. We nearly walked out after Mom saw the buffet appearance of the place, but she finally agreed to try it as Caroline’s recommendations haven’t failed me yet. We don’t regret our meal, another winner.

Nebraska

In Nebraska, 90 minutes later, the grain silos are replaced with corn silos. Wind pushes the humidity around, but it’s still just as hot and maybe more humid. There appear to be more trees in Nebraska than in Kansas, but it’s difficult to be certain. Mom is astonished that the land is not flatter than it is, pleasantly surprised even. Not surprising is the mosquito population. I will only afford these pests this quick bitter grumble.

Nebraska

Needing to drive more than 800 miles today, we have no time to stop for the sights; we pass barns, small towns, and dead raccoons by the dozen.

South Dakota

We are making good time on this bolt across half of America. As we arrive at the South Dakota Stateline, we are already more than 1,300 miles away from Phoenix, which we left just yesterday.

South Dakota

We are nearing sunset as we turn east to dip into a corner of Iowa. Not only had Mom not visited Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, or Minnesota but she had never stepped foot in Iowa. She now has bragging rights of having added four states she’d never visited today. Passing yet more farms and cornfields, I witnessed for the first time in my life one of the most enchanting sights I have yet seen: fireflies. Fireflies appear as fleeting glimmers of light rising off of the earth as though elves were popping in and out of the physical realm from the spiritual world. They wisp along the edge of the corn, are more abundant near tall grass, and when seen with a backdrop of trees, they look like miniature fireworks.

Iowa Sunset

A quick left and now northbound, the car brings us to Luverne, Minnesota, and the fifth new state for my mother on this trip. This is our stop for the evening. A nice little hotel called the Cozy Rest costs us $46 for the evening, and conveniently, there is a Smoky Bears Pizza place next door that serves up a decent meal. Thanks for feeding us.

It’s almost 11:15 p.m., and I’m about to quit taking these notes. The clock is set for 6:15. Tomorrow; we have a much shorter drive scheduled, which should allow for some serious experiences besides suffering the exhaustion I fought most of the day as we drove through seven states, likely a personal record.

Mother and Son Going to Buffalo, NY – Day 1

New Mexico

This series of 15 blog entries that will follow me and my mother on a cross-country road trip was long neglected and not published for too many years. My mother would have argued that this was my modus operandi regarding her. You see, she was aware that by 2005, my mother-in-law Jutta Engelhardt had been to America nearly half a dozen times and that on each visit, Caroline and I would take her out to see a new corner of the United States. Yet in the ten years since we’d moved from Frankfurt, Germany, to Phoenix, Arizona, we did very little with my own mother. The truth is she could be a difficult person to spend time with and was the reason we started traveling out of state every Thanksgiving to avoid the inevitable drama that would unfold at those dinners.

I’d carved time out to take Auntie and Grandpa to Florida back in March, and by mid-May, Jutta was returning to America for her longest visit yet of two months. With my mom strong-arming me into taking her to Buffalo, New York, for what she was telling me could be her last visit ever to the place of our birth, I reluctantly acquiesced. It turned out that the timing was going to work in Caroline’s and my favor as my mom wanted to leave before Caroline’s mom was set to return to Germany, and this would mean that Caroline wouldn’t have to be in a car with my mother and me for two weeks nor would she have to sacrifice any more valuable vacation time for a trip we both had reservations of making.

This would end up being the only vacation my mother and I would ever make together. In March 2018, my mother passed away after suffering a stroke in October 2017, and this trip to Buffalo was indeed her last time in New York. The difficult nature of our relationship will likely unfold over the course of these blog entries. I’m telling you this upfront as it is nearly 2020 now that I finally sit down to commit the two weeks on the road with her using the notes I took during that trip, which are far from comprehensive. I’ll be taking a look back with the help of the 11,585 words that I did write back during those days but there are giant gaps in the record that I’ll be trying to write to. It is due to my mother’s and my at times, cantankerous relationship that my focus on not wanting to remember what should have been important impressions were being intentionally neglected. So, through the filter of time and with no small amount of bias, I’ll do my best to convey my perspective, which will likely display a certain animus. I will chronicle the dysfunctional relationship between a mother and her firstborn because that’s the way it was. The following two paragraphs are from my original notes and are nearly verbatim; after this, that line will blur.

Texas Sunset

I depart once more as a guide across America, but this time it’s with my own mother, Karen Goff, formerly Wise, formerly Kurchoff. The absurdity that we might get through two weeks together is not lost on anyone who knows us. I’m starting to feel I should adopt the nom de guerre “road-sherpa.” Once out on the road, my mom remembers that she had forgotten a bag of food on the counter at home she wanted to bring along. An hour later, she’s thinking about lunch. Fifteen minutes later we are talking about what we’ll be eating in Buffalo. Moments later, the conversation turns to dreaming about eating Walleye. My mom thinks about food a lot, all the time, according to her. Besides our conversation about things gastronomical, the rest of the day is uneventful. By the time we are in Albuquerque, we call On-Star-O-Line (Caroline, who earned that title while helping me with online services back in March during the Florida trip) for help finding us some New Mexican cuisine. She directs us to Sadie’s – a winner.

Onwards, the road becomes our drive into a grim terror. Blue skies give way to heavy looming gloom that pushes Mom into hallucinating her worst fears. No, not a lack of restaurants on the road ahead. Not earthquakes, either. She thinks she is seeing three simultaneous tornados falling from the sky. Wake up, Chicken Little, they are clouds; that is Virga. Return to thinking about ice cream, Mom.

For a few hours, we drive through intermittent rain and lots of lightning before the real storm hits. Just outside of Dalhart, Texas, Mom accuses me of the impolite act pertaining to particular bowel issues. I insist that there’s no deluge in my pants and even demand of her, “How dare you accuse me of that?” To prove it to her, I roll down the windows, which overwhelms the interior of the car with a powerful stench that simultaneously temporarily blinds her and brings her to retching. These are the farmlands where America’s cattle are fattened up before slaughter. On nice warm and humid nights like tonight, the fog we were seeing is actually the visualized effluvium of beef fattening madness. Take a big lungful, Mom, and please don’t attribute that to your son again. Through tears of laughter, she says she’s certain she is gonna vomit if I don’t immediately put up the windows and leave this godforsaken corner of Texas. In Stratford, hopefully, far from the cow stink after having driven 765 miles, we grab a $38-a-night motel with an air conditioner mom wants to believe will mask my snoring. Get ready to feel the pain; your ears ain’t heard nothing yet.

Jutta and John say Goodbye

Jutta and John say goodbye as Jutta stays at my mothers overnight allowing Caroline and I a night alone before the roadtrip with my mother

Jutta and I say goodbye as she stays the night at my mother’s house, allowing Caroline and me to have our first night alone since May 13th! In the morning, my mother and I will depart on our cross-country road trip.

These past two months with my mother-in-law have been one of the best visits, and one of the “could have been better” at the same time. I am probably too impatient and Jutta a bit too forgetful, but still, we managed to end our part of the visit with smiles, and some laughs in addition to sharing many, many moments taking in some incredibly beautiful sights. I hope her next ten days alone with Caroline will go well and that they enjoy each other’s company minus the aergerlich schwiegersohn. Somehow I actually will miss my mother-in-law, believe it or not.

Cross Country with Mom

July 6

Not so much a photo of the day but a look at the Excel file detailing my cross-country road trip with my mother that begins on Friday, July 8th.

Our trip will focus on the Great Lakes with a brief excursion into Canada before stopping in Buffalo, New York, where my mother and I were born. While out on the road, I will attempt to post the occasional photo of the day instead of turning over duties to Caroline as I did in March. Caroline will be too busy with a full class load in addition to her mom staying here in Phoenix through July 17th.