Heart Attack Grill

JWise Photo of the Day

Counter help delivering a single bypass burger on the Valentines Day Massacre all-you-can-eat for free day at the Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Arizona

Welcome to the Heart Attack Grill where today it was a Valentine’s Day Massacre of All-You-Can-Eat for FREE!!! There ain’t nothing medicinal or healthy about this place, the name Heart Attack Grill is not a misnomer. This is the home of a heart-stopping 2-pound burger featuring 4 1/2-pound burgers topped with an egg each, three slices of bacon each, a slice of cheese each! This monster is rightfully called the Quadruple Bypass. There are no sissy ‘French’ fries here; these are Flatliner fries – would you like those drenched in gravy, cheese, or chili, how about all 3 with some extra salt?

The ‘nurses’ taking orders barely wear the restaurant industry’s shortest uniforms, with some hot lacey underwear. I swear it took me an hour just to eat my Single Bypass 1/2 pound bacon cheese coronary on a plank, not that I was distracted or in need of medical care. Visit their website to see the range of uniforms the Heart Attack Grill stands behind. I wonder if this isn’t the future of grocery shopping and banking…

Thanks to Seth Chadwick and his blog at Feasting in Phoenix for the tip.

You Call This Air?

JWise Photo of the Day

The nearly disappearing horizon is thanks to our lung friend - the SMOG. Phoenix, Arizona

Maybe due to our love of urban sprawl, hyper-growth, and the SUV, or since after gazing out on the horizon and not having our own snow-capped Mount Kilimanjaro we are bored with visibility, we are getting rid of clean air and are replacing it with SMOG!!!

I for one am driving around these days senselessly burning hydrocarbons to foul the air because I don’t like looking at our anemic skyline or the hideous Camelback mountains. When I drive on the 101 and look 40 miles east at those Four Peaks mountains I get disoriented, wondering if the world isn’t just too damned big for me. When I’m surrounded by smog, I feel like I’m wrapped in a cozy blanket, snuggling in with my pal pollution, feeling warm and fuzzy.

Where’s The Rain?

JWise Photo of the Day

A dry brown desert that hasn't seen a drop of rain in 118 days - Phoenix, Arizona

A year ago these mountains in the Dreamy Draw Park were bursting with wildflowers and deep fluorescent greens. Today this parched terrain hasn’t seen rain in 118 days. A year ago today the Salt River was raging as the Tempe Town Lake had to be lowered to allow the floodwaters to pass, Death Valley in neighboring California was in full bloom. Now, a year later, we think apocalyptic global warming is the culprit behind this comparatively dry winter. Maybe the earth just isn’t as perfectly organized as we might like? Nah, it’s definitely the end of times!

My New Blog

JWise Moments

Later today, I will post my first entry to my new blog HappyBumbleBee. This new site will focus on vegetarian, vegan, raw, organic, healthy foods and meal preparation from the perspective of a dyed-in-the-wool meatatarian. Because my wife Caroline is a vegetarian, I only prepare veg meals at home – for the carnivorous experience I go on the hunt at restaurants.

At first, I was averse to the idea of eating carrots and sprouts, therefore, it has taken quite a while of cooking organic, veggie, healthy meals at home to arrange my perspective to allow me to enjoy good vegetarian cooking. I have had to branch into many an ethnic cookbook and be open-minded enough to try different veggie meals and restaurants in order to experience the breadth and scope of what vegetarian and vegan cooking can be and, recently how great RAW foods can be.

While remaining omnivorous, I have come to hold with a certain disdain the need for people to cling to the idea that the labels of vegetarian, vegan, raw, Ovo-Lacto vegetarian, etc., are lifestyles to be held in near-religious esteem, instead of being more inclusive and recognizing that it is better that society adopt more healthy life choices that include a variety of these things. Thus, it is with this idea of helping us meatatarians better understand and enjoy the world of those leaf-eaters that I am launching HappyBumbleBee.

Bungled Jungle at the Renaissance Festival

JWise Photo of the Day

Suzanne Montano and Pat Landreth of Bungled Jungle at the Renaissance Festival in Arizona

These are Suzanne Montano and Pat Landreth with the newest addition to our little menagerie of creatures created by these two wonderful artists. Suzanne and Pat are Bungled Jungle, based in Salida, Colorado, and for the past ten years, Caroline and I have been customers of theirs as we periodically adopt one of these handsome er, um….things? You can check them out from now through the first weekend of April at the Arizona Renaissance Festival. The smile on this guy and having the perfect spot in the kitchen helped us in our decision-making.

Hey Nunnie Nunnie at the Renaissance Festival in Arizona

Update: as I’ve been stating in various other posts, I’m updating some of my old blog entries here in 2023 to round them out with the photos I couldn’t include back in the early days of posting due to bandwidth limitations. And so it is here at the Arizona Renaissance Festival. The original post still lives at the top of the entry but starting with the ladies from Hey Nunnie Nunnie! I’m adding these images for Caroline and my memories.

Renaissance Festival in Arizona

It was still early in the morning with all the personalities of the festival at the entry gate welcoming those of us who show up when the event get’s underway.

Renaissance Festival in Arizona

A lot of the performers here we’ve seen for years.

The Wyld Men at the Renaissance Festival in Arizona

The Wyld Men about to get dirty with a crazy performance in the mud.

Dextre Tripp at the Renaissance Festival in Arizona

A man of great talent we always try to catch is slack wire walker, fire juggler, and all-around masochist Dextre Tripp at the Renaissance Festival in Arizona.

Caroline Wise and John Wise at the Renaissance Festival in Arizona

As I look back at our photos I can’t help but have nostalgic feelings about those days, except back then there were lots of plain old wholesome families that would visit, our last trip to the far east valley saw a festival as a place for exhibitionists and bikers to strut around showing cleavage, tattoos, and black leather.

Dinner with Carolyn Lim

JWise Photo of the Day

Caroline and John Wise at the Siamese Kitchen Thai Restaurant with Carolyn Lim

We had dinner with Carolyn Lim this evening at the Siamese Kitchen in Phoenix, Arizona. Carolyn used to work with Caroline but is now doing some contract work until she has enough in savings to hit the road for another journey out on the planet where she will continue her search for that defining moment of being where she might stumble upon a perfection in time and place that will allow her to find ultimate happiness – something a routine in a material-driven paternalistic society has failed to deliver. Oh yeah, the Thai food was pretty good. The photo was taken by Carolyn.