John Wise

With every other rentable and livable space being converted into condos imagine the relief local dogs are finding that this last available fire hydrant is not going condo.

You are driving down the street when all of a sudden your transmission breaks? Good thing the Transmission Mannequin is on duty and ready to help! Did your car’s muffler die? Drive around the corner and Mr. Muffler stands at the ready with his Cadillac muffler body and Honda muffler head to bring silence to your noisy jalopy. Makes me wonder if butchers wouldn’t attract more business by having meat people mannequins baking in the sun welcoming the carnivorous.

Phoenix, a city of hot days, cactus, swimming pools, pharmacies, Mexican food, and now fast cash and payday loan sharks. Almost as prolific as fast food, these small shops sprout up all over the valley offering those hurting for cash to come in and add insult upon their injury. I have heard from time to time that certain politicians would like to shut these down as some have been known to charge people up to 25% interest, but then what’s wrong with that? Haven’t they read the small print on credit cards, miss a payment and you will be charged prime plus 19.99% to equal but not exceed 29.99%? I see, only banks should be able to rip people off.

Kudos to Katelyn the comfort engineer, who on a stroke of genius has delivered the ‘Husband Chair’ at a local branch of Michaels, also known as “the dreaded craft store”. This convenience near the entrance of the store allows us, men, to quickly take refuge near the same door that is also the exit. While not as anonymous as staying in the car, I must admit, since gasoline prices are so high, that sitting in the car with an idling engine and the air conditioning running full blast is getting a bit expensive.

Katelyn, seemingly on a direct connection with the male psyche is looking at improving her masterpiece-in-progress by adding a cushioned seat cover, a custom coat of middle-age defying glossy black paint, and possibly even flames – those OC Chopper dudes would be envious. This woman will be a corporate goddess in her own time. My only suggestion, we need some manly magazines to hide behind and let others know that we are real men, even if we are in the craft store.