John Wise

Beyond the walls of higher education, up in the sky, clouds slink by admiring themselves in the reflection of the glass facades of anonymous buildings. Caroline meanwhile is hidden away behind these windows taking yet another final on her quest for the almighty degree. Another English class trounced her confidence as she sheepishly crept through the door to face her terror. This dread of taking tests is an age-old bane of Caroline’s as she has been tormented in her dreams by them in addition to worrying about them in her waking days and hours prior to taking exams. Her knees buckle as she attempts to console herself with the idea that if she can just get the minimum she just might pass the course – and of course, she gets another A. Sheesh, what a drama queen I’m married to.

Homemade and primitive, but not illegal, this inviting sign is also of a temporary nature, camouflaging a warning. This yard sale announcement may be an invitation to find bargains or possibly even undervalued treasures for some, yet I see it for what it is, a warning that someone with too much junk is wanting to make a few bucks from someone else wanting more junk. While I grudgingly accept that this is better than dumping the lot in the trash to find its way into a landfill, my solution is to simply haul it off to a charity, take the tax deduction, and allow my worn stuff to become someone else’s almost new stuff for a good cause. Maybe being a guy and hating shopping adds to my disdain.

Need a sign that’s not spray-painted on an alley wall late at night? Don’t need to render Britney Spears on a five-story LCD? Maybe what you need is a temporary sign. Low cost, colorful, quick, and easy to acquire, a vinyl sign just might do the trick. This four-foot-wide, eighteen-inch-high banner was done the same day as ordered and cost about $80 including tax. Probably my favorite of temporary signs though would be the freeway overpass with chain link fence where someone presses paper or plastic cups into the mesh to spell out a personal message.

A lighted sign for your business these days will cost you between $3,000 for a typical eighteen-foot-wide neon or LED light fixture to hundreds of thousands of dollars for a fifty-foot-tall Las Vegas-style blinking sign with super big screen video capability. The larger the sign, the better the chance your business will see drive-by traffic stopping in. Next to freeways, gas stations often place signs at such heights that drivers easily see them from more than a quarter-mile away. In the case of the Old Heidelberg Bakery here, it doesn’t really matter the size of the sign as being the only German bakery and grocery store for miles in any direction, those of us wanting authentic German food items have little choice but to find this little shop at 2210 E. Indian School Road in Phoenix, Arizona. If you are lucky you might arrive at the day and time when the two sisters who share running the shop are pulling hot fresh bread from the ovens. If you are not so lucky, check out the almond horns, pretzels, brotchen, or pick up some sauerkraut, bratwurst, and some spicy German mustard for a taste of Germany in the Arizona desert.