What is Love?

JWise Moments

Drawing

What is love?

Love is the internal hope and desire to inspire others, to mentor, to teach, and to learn from. Romantic love comes when that desire arrives with intimacy.

These characteristics of inspiring, mentoring, and teaching are also the cornerstones and essence of parenting. We, humans, learn from others, investing decades to share their knowledge with us. When the basis of that sharing is poor or ineffective, the results can greatly limit the potential of the person who was to be the recipient of those investments. Over the course of time, the benefits of this community involvement and individual sharing have the potential to aloft those students into various specializations. I suggest that this is an act of love.

To defend in law, treat with medicine, or enhance through invention then becomes the extension of offering love through skills that the one benefiting from these services would not be able to provide themselves. So these skills then reflect our inherent need to offer love and, in turn, require love to be reciprocated.

Art, music, and storytelling are gifts of creativity that allow us to demonstrate abilities that others can strive to emulate so that they, too, might share in the pleasure of witnessing others’ passions. In an age where mere survival is no longer the primary concern of a people, the arts and crafts have the potential to flourish and evolve as new levels of expertise are allowed to find expression.

Finding ourselves able to enjoy passion, inspiration, and finally, intimacy, we may encounter those we can romantically love. Cultivating and then nurturing these relationships requires finesse and nuance to establish mutual trust, finding a sense of certainty that the other will not hurt us.

Because love and pain are so often experienced as being delivered by the same person, we have built defensive mechanisms that can fan the fires of mistrust, making the seed of love difficult to germinate or keep alive. But it is not just love that is harmed by the effect of blurring the line between love and pain; it has an equally damaging role in our ability to learn. Trust between those who are bound together with this delicate emotion must nurture the relationship and not abuse the ability to inflict pain, or else the tender root of love can wither with dramatic negative implications for the individuals and society.

As we move out of adolescence into adulthood, we explore the fragility of deep trust as we try to nurture an exclusive relationship with another person we have not previously given our love to. The effort to satisfy and bring shared experiences passionately into someone’s life requires a tremendous effort where a symbiosis of novelty is evolving between the two people. The herculean task of opening space in oneself while exploring new space within another is precarious as both egos are exposed, and both are made vulnerable. It is then, out of these shared moments of tenderness and acting delicately within the senses of perception that we are able to realize the connectivity of moments that further act to build love.

But what happens should we forget to make these explorations or we never learned how to trust someone else while our most exposed inner selves are laid bare? Can we know love? What of those who are constantly denied love? Most of us start our very lives in the embrace of the people who unequivocally love every single atom of our existence and are willing to take their precious time to start teaching us how to communicate with one another. When will we recognize our own innate ability to share the love and return to inspiring, mentoring, and teaching one another?

The Office Park

JWise Photo of the Day

Skyport office park in Scottsdale, Arizona

This is the location of the offices of TimefireVR LLC. I should be finding myself here most days of the week, but so far that’s been difficult due to a multitude of reasons ranging from my mother’s recent death to the issues surrounding the raising of capital to keep things going forward. Through the troubles of operating an entrepreneurial endeavor to dealing with complexities of personalities that move in and out of our lives, I find myself searching for the passion that was available in abundance prior to the fall of 2016 when things detoured. Back then we went public and embarked on a hiring spree.

Over these last years I’ve been asked dozens of times how I got involved with making games in virtual reality and during those explanations, I realize that others are enchanted with this idea that someone is creating something. I’ve gotten this same impression back when I was making record covers, shooting videos, opening an internet cafe, writing a book, and now this. So while it may be of interest to others, I wish to be inspired by their enthusiasm and always find what I started here with this project to be of great motivation. But reconnecting with that is hard and at the moment it only arrives in fits and spurts. This is a dilemma.

Daughter In-Tow

JWise Photo of the Day

Magma Hotel in Superior, Arizona

If yesterday was for grieving the passing of my mother, Jessica’s grandmother, today is for exploring. We dropped Caroline at her office an hour early and my daughter and I headed east. I have a loose idea for our road trip but it’s flexible enough to detour. Our first stop is here in Superior, Arizona where we encounter a surprise I’d have never dreamed would happen: the Magma Hotel has been renovated. We first learned of this town from the movie U-Turn and most everything on Main Street then was boarded up. Today though things are looking better with the old Magma Hotel set to open around May along with a new restaurant across the street.

Clouds north of Superior, Arizona

Kathy over at the Rolling Rock Gallery & Copper Triangle Mining Services was in the shop early, a matter of fact she informed us that she shows up roughly at 7:00 so she can practice her bagpipes. She’s also the incredibly informative person who gave us the rundown on the improvements coming to town and of her time as a security guard on the various sets around town back when Oliver Stone was directing Sean Penn, Jennifer Lopez, Billy Bob Thorton, Joaquin Phoenix, and Nick Nolte in U-Turn.

Jessica Aldridge and John Wise in Miami, Arizona

At least one obligatory selfie had to be taken, though I want one without my progeny wearing her sunglasses hiding her stink-eye. She and I passed through this way about seven years earlier and while I may have liked going somewhere with her today we’d never been, I think we’ve pretty much been everywhere in Arizona.

Jessica Aldridge praying in Miami, Arizona

I’d bet a dollar that not one prayer was given today and this was all about the performance for the camera…..and the recreating of the same scene we had photographed years before.

Our Lady of the Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church in Miami, Arizona

Of all the times I’ve passed through this part of Arizona down interstate 60 I can’t say I remember seeing this particular church. Pay attention to these blue skies because out on the horizon the clouds are building with an ominous dark layer low in the sky.

La Luz Del Dia Cafe and Bakery in Globe, Arizona

A quick stop for a coffee in Globe at La Luz Del Dia Cafe & Bakery was more for consuming a half-hour until our lunch spot opened. Our server seeing we had been taking photos and I writing while having my coffee offered to show us a bit of history and took us out back and told us about a three-story building that claims to be the “Tallest three-story building on Earth” with the distinction of also having been a brothel back in the days when that activity was considered a bit more normal in old west mining towns.

Spicy Salsa with Avocado at Ed's La Casita East in Globe, Arizona

Lunch at Ed’s La Casita East in Globe, Arizona starts with their amazing and, famous to us, Spicy Salsa with Avocado! I’ve probably blogged about this before but we were first introduced to Ed’s La Casita West when they had the location back in Superior. It closed years ago and it’s a rare day we happen to be out here and that it coincides with this place in Globe being open.

Inside the ruins of Seneca Lake Campground in Arizona

We stopped at the long-closed Seneca Lake Campground that Caroline and I have visited previously that on occasion even had RV’s still camping (squatting?) here. The dogs had the chance to stretch their legs and I had the chance to wander the ruins which I have a serious fascination doing.

The bridge over Salt River Canyon, Arizona

The more I look at this photo of the bridge here at Salt River Canyon the more I don’t like it, but it’s really all I have as the other photos are worse. So it goes. We were here today too.

Looking down Salt River Canyon in Arizona

We stopped for the view but found something of far greater value.

Jessica Aldridge posing with some random false teeth found next to the road in Arizona

We found Mildred’s false teeth and have rescued them for her. Her address in Minnesota is etched into the inside gum so we’re sending them back to her. While Jessica is most times quite brave she was just way too timid to shove this old lady’s teeth in her own mouth. I then tried to convince her to wedge them in her dog’s mouth at which point she thought it would be hilarious to see my anus smiling with them jammed in there. Had the picture turned out halfway decent I would have shared it, ask to see it privately and I might share it with you.

Sparky in the background and Piggy in the foreground

These are my daughter’s blind dogs Sparky and Piggy, Piggy is in the foreground. It seems that evil Piggy, who is ashamed to show her face, somehow blinded Sparky, as he had his eyesight for many years until it started to fade away; surely it was the doing of the evil (but mostly sweet) one named Piggy. Jessica has been traveling with these rat terriers for nearly a decade or more, they have been her constant companions. I tried to get them both to look my way but that coordination just wasn’t going to happen. Piggy was adopted blind by the way and she’s certainly not evil, but Sparky the butthole sniffing, obsessed idiot in the background probably has more issues than anyone cares to talk about. Apples and trees come to mind as I write this…

Karen Mae Kurchoff RIP

JWise Moments

Karen Goff and John Wise at a Great Lake in the Eastern United States

This is my mother, Karen Mae Kurchoff. She was a difficult person with questionable decision-making processes, but she was still my mom, and now I will only be able to look back at our lives because hers has passed. In October, she experienced a stroke that affected her left side to an extent that, without her concerted effort, would leave her paralyzed; she chose paralysis. A couple of weeks ago, she made another poor choice when she stopped eating, followed by the stopping of drinking any fluids four days ago. So tonight, with little struggle and no fanfare, she quietly and by herself, through the haze of a morphine-induced stupor, took the exit ramp.

Should my short note of memorializing my mother seem distant, she effectively chose suicide by self-neglect instead of taking the more difficult path. That is how she lived most of her life. I cannot know what ultimately made her the person she was, but I know she had plenty of blame for nearly all that were a close part of her life. I can’t say I really ever knew her to be genuinely happy, as there was always an undercurrent of frustration and wanting things to be better because good enough was never enough.

While my mom was affable and could endear almost anyone to her loud Buffalonian screech, she often honestly tried to be a good person for others she respected. For those she was supposed to love, there was conflict and tension. I will wonder in the years to come what was it in childhood that impacted her ultimate happiness. Why, at 14 years old in 1962, would she get pregnant and then, six years later, abandon her children? Why did she take the easy road and endure the pain and suffering of abusive husbands? Why didn’t she fight to live to a ripe old age?

In the end, she would never explain a thing, though when my sisters and I asked her a week ago why she chose the path she was most recently on, she said, “Because it’s easy.”

Is it really so easy to just go die?

Sahba Motallebi with Naghmeh Farahmand

JWise Photo of the Day

Sahba Motallebi with Naghmeh Farahmand at the Musical Instrument Museum in Phoenix, Arizona

Another amazing performance at the Musical Instrument Museum, tonight’s musicians were Sahba Motallebi and Naghmeh Farahmand. Sahba is considered one the best Tar players and although she now lives in Los Angeles she was originally from Sari, Iran where she learned and perfected her craft. My daughter Jessica who arrived yesterday afternoon was able to join us with me even able to find her a seat in our row. Like all concerts at the MIM with a focus on world music, this was only attended by maybe 180 visitors (in a 299 seat venue). My lament about attendance is that without enough support from our Phoenix and Scottsdale communities we will not be so fortunate in the future to catch these amazing performances that offer us such an intimate peek into other cultures.

On The Phone – NOT!

JWise Photo of the Day

Caroline Wise at the Wagon Yard Saloon in Phoenix, Arizona

Saturday and Sunday mornings we go for breakfast at the Wagon Yard Saloon. Most times we sit at our favorite table, but it was taken, so was our second favorite table. So we wandered around to the side of the saloon we’d never visited….where the pool tables live and this old defunct payphone. This relic has seen better days just as many of us in this joint have too. At the bar this morning are the usuals having their mix of bloody marys, beers, rum, and cokes for the shameless and then there’s Caroline and me who are here because our previous “old favorite” disappointed us once too many times. We’d seen the price posted on the giant sign for this landmark telling us of breakfast for a few bucks. Sure enough, it’s a reasonable meal and the two of us get out of here for under $12, not including tip. We no longer have to put our orders in as the staff knows we’ll get the same thing as always. Anyway, out back by the pool tables, it felt like we were in a different restaurant, but it was this old coin-operated payphone with the US West logo still on it that captured our nostalgia. I kind of wish this phone worked so I could call myself and leave a voicemail and wait for that voice to come along and remind me to deposit the next quarter or my call will be ended.