Entering Another Dimension

John and Caroline Wise

I’m at Sky Harbor Airport Terminal 4 as I write this. The flight I’m catching is taking me to Frankfurt, Germany. The selfie above was taken before my Uber driver pulled up to whisk me away. Caroline will follow my path in two weeks. You’ll learn more soon enough.

In and out of line, through security in seconds, and over to my gate when I come upon Cowboy Ciao, and I know what I’m having for dinner: the Stetson Chopped Salad. This salad is famous here in Arizona, but I thought it was gone as the location in Old Town Scottsdale is out of business. Now I’m at the gate and have minutes to go before we start boarding.

Tonight’s flight is about 11 hours non-stop to Frankfurt. I’m missing Caroline already; the separation anxiety is huge.

Condor Airlines to Germany

Thirty minutes out of Phoenix with only ten and a half hours to go. The flight crew said something about the evening meal and then another meal two hours before we land in Frankfurt. Seems like a late dinner and the next meal feels like an intrusion on dinner in Frankfurt. As is usual, I’m kind of pissy about being squeezed in here, though I should try to bring my focus to the incredible luck of being 33,000 feet above sea level where the air temperature eight inches to my left is -58 F. We are flying northeast at over 550 miles per hour, and I have a computer in front of me, a phone with a hundred hours of music on it in my pocket, and we successfully took off.

Words are being hard fought for, but I’m compelled to write as a large part of this journey into Europe earlier than Caroline is for me to exercise my word-smithing skills. Part of the struggle tonight is in part due to the fact that I’m writing at night and I never write at night. When we approach Frankfurt, it will be shortly after 8:00 a.m. Phoenix time, which is normally the hour I sit down to start writing, should I be so inspired. I foresee a problem with this arrangement as, by that time, I’ll likely be out of sorts from the shifted sleeping/night/day cycle that is about to happen.

I find that as I age, I’m dealing with jet lag differently than I did when I was younger. Though I might also suggest that when I was in my 20’s I didn’t much care about mental agility when I was flying over the Atlantic as I was consumed by the reality that I was either falling into Europe or returning to the United States. I worked on the adrenaline of being excited to travel; now, I look forward to the nuances of being in a place and finding appreciation in different ways than my young mind cared to consider.

We are crossing over the southeast corner of Utah and entering Colorado airspace. It’s 10:00 p.m. now so it’s as dark as a cave out there without a moon to illuminate the sky and outline of mountains. I’m guessing that we’ll start to encounter hints of daylight in about 3 to 4 hours. Luckily, we weren’t requested to shut the window coverings before we departed, so maybe we’ll get to experience the flight into the sunrise.

I’m taking a break in anticipation of my second dinner being delivered soon. I’ll offer a rundown of Condor’s premium meal upgrade after I’m done with it.

A mere two hours into the flight, I’m sleepy; of course, last night’s restless sleep, and now, with my stomach full, I have some food-induced coma waiting to happen. To fight the drowsiness, I’m listening to Rammstein, hoping some heavy driving beats and grinding guitars will help push me to stay awake.

My meal was okay, with the appetizer ending up as the best part of the presentation and quality. Just as last year, I had a shrimp and smoked salmon salad, while this time, the entree was a chicken teriyaki that was what it was. Some bread, cheese, and a dessert rounded things out while a KitKat was sent back. Coffee is now in front of me, trying to fight my inclination to drift into a nap.

In between trying to write, eat, and stay awake, I’ve been reading The Soundscape by R. Murray Schaffer. It’s too early in the book for me to offer much of an opinion yet. On the map, we are aiming for Winnipeg, while to our east is Fargo, North Dakota. I’d say more than half the passengers are asleep. The debate if I should try to get an hour’s nap is going on inside of me as I look at the global map in my seat back and see that dawn should start in about two hours. Meanwhile, Mein Herz Brennt, and so do my eyes.

Flying over the Atlantic

Four and a half hours in this jet, and we are still over North America. The dawn arrived an hour ago, and the first rays of the sun are now bouncing off the ice crystals on my window. I don’t know who closed the shades as I was certain I was never really asleep, but whoever reached right by me to close them did so so stealthily that I never stirred. The cramp of trying to sleep has gotten the best of me, and I’m hoping Petite Meller is energetic enough to supply me with a jolt of caffeinated sounds.

Only a bit more than six hours left before we land. That sounds like forever right now. If I could leave the window shade open, I could be hopeful that the daylight would help get my brain thinking daytime thoughts, but the majority of my air companions are sound asleep.

From the book The Soundscape, “Hearing is a way of touching at a distance, and the intimacy of the first sense is fused with sociability whenever people gather to hear something special.” (page 11) This was an aha moment for me as I’d never considered just how effective music is at touching the inside and outside of the body and how at concerts, the movements of the crowd create a swarm of syncopated sensuality and community. How might I one day create music if I knew that my ultimate goal was to reach out and stroke the listener with my sounds?

The eye points outward; the ear draws inward. Is everyone looking and failing to listen? I often am drawn to looking after hearing the absurd where I’d like to recoil. It was pointed out in The Soundscape that the eye has the ability to turn off the visual by closing a flap of skin; the ear has no such mechanism. I recently bought the best earplugs I could find to turn off the outside world as the noise level of banality is becoming overwhelming. What is the negative impact of those who I’m forced to draw inward due to their proximity?

Flying into Germany

As I head into Europe, I go to listen. I go to listen to myself, though, not to listen to others. I’m going for music and instruments that make the sounds I desire to hear. I want to listen to history and listen to the whispers of the prayers that echo out of the past in the cathedrals. I do not wish to listen to the sound of war or death that has plagued the continent but to find myself at peace. The language barrier helps erect a sound fence as my primitive German skills make it easy to blur the sound of voices.

Funny that this is the first time in all of my flying years that I’ve been listening to music nearly non-stop since we departed some six hours ago. The isolation has allowed me to withdraw from the other passengers without the hope of finding some random conversation. I’m not tuning in the coughing, snoring, crying, or rustling of papers, blankets, or the seats when people use them as leverage to push their obesity out of the chair. Everyone moves by in silence; the drink and food carts glide by with bottles releasing their pressure upon opening for others, but not me.

It’s 4:45 in the morning, and the majority of passengers continue to sleep. We are under three and a half hours until we land, where all of these well-rested people will land at 5:00 in the afternoon and will likely not be very tired come 11:00 p.m. I, on the other hand, am exhausted and hope to pass out around 10:00 p.m. central European time.

Our place on the earth is approaching a point over the Atlantic south of Reykjavik, Iceland. It’s much colder out here at -80 F, and we’ve slowed down to 490 miles per hour. While we could have maintained our speed eastward, I’m guessing that arriving early is not an option when gate space is such a limited commodity at this incredibly busy airport. I peek out the window, and I’m momentarily blinded by the broad daylight being reflected off the clouds below us. Inside the plane, it is still the middle of the night. Too bad there’s not a cabin on board for those of us who’d like to transition to the day earlier.

Frankfurt, Germany

From touchdown to customs, fetching my bag, withdrawing some Euros from an ATM to boarding a train to take me to the Frankfurt Bahnhof, where I walked out the front of that massive building and a few blocks east to check into my former house of prostitution now remodeled as a Ramada Hotel; this was all done in less than 90 minutes.

John Wise in Frankfurt Germany

It’s 19:19 as I sit down on a wall at Hauptwache to do what I should have been doing 35 years ago: I’m writing. The punks are long gone, though a few homeless people are nearby as though they never left. It’s a bit cold, and I’m hungry, but I had to stop right here across from Hauptwache Cafe to sit on this particular wall because back when I first came to Frankfurt with the U.S. Army, I wouldn’t dare sit here. The soldiers are gone while, in some way, they were replaced by Chinese tourists.

Black is still the primary fashion choice, and it doesn’t much feel like anyone has stopped smoking, though I’m spotting more vapes than on previous visits. Strange to think that nearly 35 years ago, there was no internet, cell phones, unified Germany, the EU, a common currency, digital cameras, Starbucks, or bike-sharing services. While much has changed, I’m struck that, in many ways, nothing is really different from back then. Let me correct that; diversity is greater today.

Frankfurt, Germany

Crazy is alive and well here, with my stroll over to Konstablerwache not failing to disappoint me. The only difference now is in regards to the number of people talking on phones with Bluetooth devices plugged discretely in their ears, allowing them to seamlessly blend in with those who are simply talking to themselves.

Eating at Ebbelwoi Restaurant in Frankfurt, Germany

From the end of this shopping pedestrian zone, I turned south towards the Main River, where I walked into Sachsenhausen, intent on having some traditional German dinner. Apfelwein-Wirtschaft Fichtekränzi is amazing, but tonight, it is amazingly busy, and impossible to get a table. Next door is Gaststätte Atschel, who won’t be able to seat me this evening, even though I’m just one person. Lucky me, as Ebbelwoi Unser said, they’d squeeze me in. Fifteen minutes later, I’m at a table with eight other diners.

Handkäs mit Musik is a Frankfurt tradition of a cheese that is marinated in vinegar and oil and served topped with onions and caraway seeds. The “joke” of “mit Musik” is that by eating this concoction, you’ll be making music later. While I was eating, an old friend answered yesterday’s question I texted him about restaurants to eat near the main train station; he’s too late on his reply for me to benefit from his answer. He’s surprised when I tell him where I am in Sachsenhausen and we agree to meet after I finish.

My main course was two schnitzel cutlets served with Bratkartoffeln (fried potatoes) and, of course, green sauce. Better known as Frankfurter Grüne Soße, this regional treat has grown in cult status, with festivals now celebrating it; I cannot come to this city without indulging. I hope that I will never grow bored of eating here.

Frankfurt, Germany

The friend who contacted me was Olaf Finkbeiner. He’d asked if I would arrive at our meeting point in Elbestrasse by train or taxi; I told him I would be walking. He thought me crazy, but to me, Frankfurt is a tiny place easily walkable. A sunset walk along the Main was far more interesting on my first evening here than getting on a subway. Along the way, Olaf let me know that Plank Bar was closed; he’d forgotten it was Sunday night.

Olaf and John Wise in Frankfurt, Germany

We walked back towards the Hauptbahnhof and went to O’Reilly’s Irish Pub, which might not have been the best place to meet, but it was open. Crowded and loud were the negatives; meeting with Olaf after not seeing him for the past five years made up for any inconvenience. Talking about technology and politics for the next couple of hours went by incredibly quickly before I cajoled this guy into stopping for a selfie to prove to Caroline that Olaf and I had indeed met. We agreed to get together once again after Caroline arrives, and with that, I dragged my jetlagged and fatiguing self back to my former whore house, where once again, I was paying for the opportunity to spend some time in one of these tiny rooms.

The Dark Side

Caroline Wise in Phoenix, Arizona

I’ve read somewhere that social media allows us to portray our lives in a kind of perfection that filters out the ugly realities and mundane moments we don’t want others to see. So today is my come-clean, soul-purging blog post of the banal stuff that will demonstrate how boring my life is aside from the glamour shots I post.

On a typical day, we wake between 4:50 and 6:15, and if motivated, we might go for a walk. To be honest, Caroline is up early Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for a run and maybe a short visit to the gym; as for me, getting up early to go for a walk with her is a recent phenomenon.

Buttered bread

On the other days, we often read a bit before reluctantly heading to the kitchen to toil over making breakfast. Okay, so it’s not really laborious, but I figured that starting the day in a kind of agony would sound more dramatic. The fact is we often share the duties of putting the water on for coffee, heating a pan to poach a couple of eggs, and the other little details required for getting this first meal of the day going.

Caroline Wise in Phoenix, Arizona

Besides showering, tooth brushing, and such, we try to squeeze in a few more minutes online, catching up with the bits and pieces of news and personal interests surrounding our hobbies before we have to make our way to the car. On the drive to Caroline’s office, she’ll be arguing with me. Not really, but this is supposed to be about the grit that my idealized waxing about our good fortune neglects, so I thought I’d throw that in there. Actually, on most days, she is reading to me from the passenger seat. At the moment, we are reading the lengthy tome titled “A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous 14th Century” by Barbara Tuchman, which weighs in at over 780 pages.

Open book

On occasion, we’ll mix things up and add some spice while taking a pause from our current book to dip back into “The Plum in the Golden Vase,” which we’ve been reading for a few years already. This book of five volumes stretches across 3,600 pages, and we are currently in volume three. Written in the 16th century by an anonymous Chinese writer (or writers), it has been nice to pick up from time to time using it as a kind of soap opera break from our usual non-fiction routine. Revisiting the characters a couple of times a month for years lets us feel a kinship and familiarity with the people that live on with Hsi-men Ch’ing.

At this point, Caroline walks into her office after some lost minutes, during which we stare goofily into each other’s eyes and feel awkward about people walking by as we kanoodle. With that, I’m likely off to some random coffee shop for writing and the beginning of our chatting with each other over the course of the day, sharing a few moments of affection here and there.

From writing, shopping, cooking, cleaning, or dabbling on my synthesizer, my day is one of maintenance and, to a large extent, goofing off, seeing I’m trying to be honest about the non-glamorous side of life.

Eight hours after dropping off the wife, I’m back in her area to walk around and up my step count before she emerges from her office building. It may sound impossible, but I don’t believe she ever fails to greet me with a smile from afar before getting in the car and then professing her love and how happy she is to see me. The next question is inevitably, “What’s for dinner?” My answer is like a clockwork that is redundantly stuck in the same moment into perpetuity, “Food.”

Because the subject is “The Dark Side” and in the spirit of trying to keep this real, it often happens after Caroline has to cork things off all day; she’ll hotbox me in the car in the mistaken belief I won’t notice if it’s silent. To this day, she still doesn’t understand how I qualify a fart held for hours as being obviously stale as opposed to fresh.

Sometimes, we’ll return to the book, but usually, we’ll talk about events that occurred over the course of the day. At home, unless we stop somewhere for dinner, I’ll busy myself finishing dinner or getting it going if it’s a simple preparation.

The next four to five hours for Caroline will be split between fiber arts, the internet, watching a DVD, and often all three at the same time. As for me, if I’m not watching screaming human candles run around, I’m doing something with Blender, Bitwig, the synth, or my blog. Oh, I almost forgot to share that there’s a decent amount of pestering I perform with near habitual regularity where I poke, prod, and offer all kinds of “treats,” such as hickeys that Caroline turns down with equal regularity. Through all of this, we try to smile and laugh with one another multiple times a day before converging in the coziest of beds ever created for taking two people to sleep.

Munich, West Germany 1989

John Wise and Caroline Wise née Engelhardt 21 October 1989 in Munich, Germany

Back on October 21, 1989, in Munich, West Germany, Caroline and I took the very first selfie of ourselves in the reflection of some random building. We had driven down with friends to attend Fantasy Filmfest just four months after we started dating. This is the first photo of the two of us together.

The standout film at the fest for both of us was Ken Russell’s The Lair of the White Worm though we were primarily here for the Dario Argento film Terror at the Opera that featured a soundtrack by Brian Eno. We also took in Hellbound: Hellraiser II and a second Ken Russell film titled Gothic. From here memories get foggy or maybe we were too stoned as my memory says we also saw Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste and an obscure film titled The Navigator about some guys who dig into the earth in the middle ages to emerge in modern times as they tried escaping the plague. We are both certain we watched Jörg Buttgereit’s Nekromantik down in Munich, but the film is not listed on the Fantasy Filmfest archive site so maybe it was showing in an offsite theater. Regarding Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste, it was a gateway drug to his greatest film and an all-time favorite, Meet The Feebles.

I’m 26 years old in this photo; Caroline is only 21. Little did we know that 30 years later we’d still be together and 25 of these years we’d be married.

Myriad of Things

Trip planning notes

There are countless things to get done before the date is upon us. The date I speak of is when we leave for vacation. We do not take this responsibility lightly, as returning from a major respite we should not have to fall into the need to deal with a bunch of odds and ends that should have been wiped from the slate prior to our departure. To that end we have both visited the dentist recently, I’ve been to my doctor to ensure my health is as good as it can be and that my prescriptions are cared for through September. Our taxes were done on time this year, basic apartment maintenance as it pertains to summer has been dealt with. Perishable foods in the fridge have been consumed.

The car will have a full tank of gas waiting for our return, the plants will have been watered, the A/C set so we are not too uncomfortable the evening our flight lands. All of our bills are on auto-pay, but then again they always are. While out on the road or riverway our minds should be unencumbered with thoughts of future responsibilities or worries about what we might have forgotten. It’s inevitable that there are things we’ll need while out and about, but to the best of our ability, we check and recheck our minds for things we’ve needed on previous journeys, and for the two months prior to leaving we see our fair share of Amazon deliveries.

We do not go on vacation unless we are able to detach from everything out of our normal routines. Our time away from home should be focused on doing, exploring, and learning.

This should all be obvious, but our earliest days of vacationing usually intruded into busy schedules that saw us dropping everything at the last minute and bailing out. All of those things we were pushing out to a more convenient time simply got pushed again and then upon getting home, we’d feel a bit overwhelmed by everything we needed to catch up on. We’d fly out of state or country with dishes needing to be washed or get home with moldy leftovers and veggies in the fridge. Now we leave with every stitch of laundry washed and fresh sheets on the bed.

Why am I sharing these silly details? Because by making time for all the things we clear out of our routine responsibilities, they go far in helping lend a greater sense of luxury to our travels. It’s an exercise in personal responsibility that adds an incredible amount of value to our enjoyment. So prior to your next vacation be sure to clean the toilet, mop your floors, vacuum, see your doctor, change the oil in the car, don’t forget to put your mail on hold, ask someone to keep your door clear of ads, flyers and other things that will let people know you are away. Vacations are a reset that reminds you of how important breaking out of patterns is and that while you are out learning, playing, and exploring that you are finding some of the best parts of what it is to be a better person.

Time To Go Write

Map section of Germany

How was I so dumb? Why did I believe I needed a central authority to bestow credentials on me before I could do something I wanted to do? What I wanted was to write, but I knew my English skills were severely handicapped because my primary schools told me so. How could I write if I wasn’t adequately prepared for the mastery of my native language?

I read, read, and read some more. I was fully addicted to reading throughout my youth. When I arrived in Germany as a young adult, I was as close to Bohemia as I could get back in the mid-1980s, considering it was still behind the Iron Curtain. I dug deeper into literature, took on philosophy, added some sociology, and continued into the gutter with William Burroughs, Charles Bukowski, Baudelaire, and any other misfits I could unearth. I had a bit of a routine where, as time allowed, I’d head to a train station to pick up breakfast and the International Herald Tribune. Seated outside, I’d watch the parade of characters passing by and read what was going on around the world.

What I didn’t do was write. I wish I’d known then what I know now: that to write, all one has to do is write. No special permission is required. While I didn’t seek out approval for photography or the consumption of alternative arts, those weren’t subjects that were sanctioned by the state by granting basic competency to participate effectively. Fortunately, I only learned later that photography was a skill where others decided your skills and afforded you opportunities.

It took me years to finally give myself the exercise that would bring me around to writing, and it was related to my curiosity about photography. By the way, my interest in photography began somewhere in the late 1960s when my paternal grandfather gave me a Kodak Brownie camera. Armed with that primitive camera, I felt like a giant, just like my heroic grandfather, who used a 35mm Minolta with an array of lenses. I thought my grandpa was a pro because not only did he have a professional camera, he shot slide film that forced him to show us his photos with a projector on a silver screen.

So the way this ties together is that after many years away from taking photos, I wanted to deeply re-engage with the craft, but just taking photos didn’t seem to be enough anymore. In 2004, I was five years into taking thousands of digital images that simply sat on a hard drive not seen very often, let alone being shared. I’d witnessed the first photo blogs emerging, but as those were proliferating, I already felt they were growing stale as I quickly gained the impression that everyone had a photo-of-the-day website. I realized then that I could try accomplishing that thing I wanted to be passionate about writing. And I would accomplish this by posting a photo and forcing myself to write something about it. That’s just what I did every day for the first year.

Here we are: 14 years after I started blogging, 35 years after I sat in Frankfurt collecting my thoughts, and 51 years after I took my first photo. I’m about to bring it all together with an upcoming trip that will take me to Berlin, Erfurt, and Bayreuth in Germany, where I’ll sit down for some uninterrupted writing while also capturing the situation photographically. I’ll have two weeks of this before Caroline joins me in Frankfurt, where between there and Karlsruhe, I’ll have a few more opportunities for some contemplative writing. Our week in the region will likely pass quickly before we embark on the last leg of our European vacation. What those details are will have to wait.

Most of my travel writings have detailed the adventures of Caroline and me. Even when I’m writing a narrative that she doesn’t appear in, she is still ever-present as when we are together; I believe we see the world differently, and that, in turn, influences how I convey things. While on this trip across Germany, though she won’t be with me physically, I know I won’t be able to avoid her influence because she is somehow always with me anyway.

It is my intention to wander through places exploring the moment to find things that will only be understood by taking the time to selfishly observe nature while my mind participates in extracting things not previously seen or thought of. What words might find my hand while my body sits quietly in the cathedral where Martin Luther was ordained? Walking over the streets, Richard Wagner strode 140 years ago; maybe I’ll stumble upon the inspiration that lends something or other to my perspective. A side trip to Mühlhausen will take me to the church where J.S. Bach performed his Ratswechsel cantata Gott ist Mein König. A year later, he wrote Aus der Tiefe rufe ich after the town and church burned to the ground. Somewhere along the way, I’ll be in Weimar to visit the Nietzsche Archive set in the home where he passed away.

German music, philosophy, art, history, and even the love of my life were found in the country that has had a deep impact on my being. With these upcoming two weeks of wandering through these areas of Deutschland, I hope to find a deeper understanding of just why this land and the creative minds it produced have resonated as profoundly as they have.

This visit to Germany is, in some way, my recapturing of a lost moment I neglected to seize back in the mid-1980s. Back then I had all the freedom in the world to chronicle my adventure as a bohemian hedonist who all of a sudden had the latitude to explore in all directions, but I failed to grasp my opportunity. While today, my hedonism has withered and the crazy experimentation of youth has been satisfied, my curiosity to write through the filter of maturity gathered over the ensuing 30+ years is burning to express itself. Lucky me to have a friend and partner in life who affords me the luxury to satisfy my whims and dreams.

Unknowable Death

John Wise in front of a Wise Gravestone in Phoenix, Arizona

Of all the things I can attempt to describe, the moments I will never be able to share are those when I begin to encounter death and then finally succumb to it. What is my role in even preparing myself to recognize it when it begins to appear? Will I know what it is as I’ve never seen it? Does it have a sound, a smell, a feeling?

I don’t want to imagine that the body shutting down will be synonymous with pain; maybe it’s just the motor slowly coming to a quiet halt. I think most people afraid of death are more nervous about excruciating pain where life’s exit is a landmine blowing off your face, metaphorically speaking. Too often during our lives, we are shown gruesome deaths that titillate our sense of the unknown and pique our anxiety about stepping into something we won’t like. What if natural death were a calm walk among the flowers?

Then what after that? Well, my sense of things suggests that what I consider me will be something relatively unknown afterlife as I’ve known it ends if there’s anything at all. Like a newborn infant, the sense of self will be unaware that an “I” is present. First, the new non-organic transitional me will have to adjust to the light that illuminates my new reality; time is likely my new sun. Somewhere out of this vast expanse of the future, maybe I’ll be able to recognize that time is emanating out of everything and that it’s infinitely expanding, taking me with it.

Until this new awareness forms, I must learn my way. Language, as I knew it, will mean nothing and so it is not required to try to explain what has happened or where I am. In that way, it’s kind of like the DNA in a seed that bursts forth in a flurry of activity that ends up sending a single tiny bud out of the murky depth of soil into the sunlight. Little do the leaves know at this time that a flower will someday grace the top of the stem that stretches into the sky and will require a flying insect, seemingly from another dimension and certainly from another species, to randomly wander along and fertilize it so its offspring will inherit its genetic blueprint allowing it to move into the future. So, what did the DNA think about its future? It did not think; it simply grew into its reality. This is what we do before consciousness takes hold.

Faced with being one with the universe, there will be no orientation, no image of God or his son. We will be looking into the energy and matter creation element known as time. We will have merged from surfing on the wave of time as an organic entity to being a thread traversing the unknown while we learn to orient ourselves in the framework of time without physical being. If communication exists it could be on the quantum level with a kind of attenuation to threads and bands that pulse with information that exceeds any ability of us in human form to describe such a place.

Of course, death can just as well be the final cessation of all with a drift into the darkness of nothingness. But we already know that there is nothing known as nothing where a real void might exist. Time, exotic particles, dark matter, and gravity are all flowing through every nook and cranny of every corner of the universe. Even particles that exist momentarily as they flitter in and out of their quantum state are, in some respects, ever-present. If they are “here” or “not here,” they still exist in the potential and a kind of certainty that they will again be known.

Regarding human consciousness, we cannot yet be certain of where exactly that might be, how large it is, and if it’s transferable or ever-present. While the connectome may prove one day to be the structure within our minds that supports our consciousness, will we, upon making that determination be closer to the center of precisely where the point of self is? Is it larger than a molecule, could it be smaller, or does it simply exist in time?

But all of this is about life, not death. I guess I just have to accept that I cannot write of that which I know absolutely nothing about. Death will remain elusive until it is as intimate as it will ever be, and I will then own it.