Guilty Pleasure

Li Ziqi YouTube Phenom

How has my life come to this? I’m talking about my recent interest in Chinese YouTube phenom Li Ziqi. She’s one part Martha Stewart, one part silent pop star, maybe a small bit MacGyver, and at least in front of the camera, she’s all about aesthetics. Li rides horses, kills and butchers her own goats and chickens, spins wool, felts cotton she planted and harvested to make comforters for her mom, grows soybeans that she makes into soy sauce, picks all foods fresh from her farm and from the local mountains where she stocks up on flowers, ginseng, mushrooms, and other elements she requires to make the traditional Chinese craft or food she’s working on. With nearly no dialogue and a lot of soft-focus with just the right depth of field to bring our attention to the most beautiful part of what’s being framed, this powerhouse of a YouTube star has about 2.5 million more subscribers than Joe Rogan.

Li Ziqi came to my attention first from my wife Caroline, but of course, when she was telling me of her, I was listening with half an ear, if that. Then, somehow, as though YouTube heard Caroline better than I did, it suggested Li Ziqi as something I might be interested in. For days, I would see the thumbnail and wonder why. Finally, it worked on me, and I clicked it. Now I’m watching an episode every other day and have to admit it’s become a guilty pleasure. Why guilty?

Li’s is a fantasy world that removes the viewer from any concerns about modern issues or strife found in everyday life. There are few machines, lots of wood and bamboo tools, wood ovens and stoves, and comprehensive knowledge of all things that might be required to live in this natural setting while looking gorgeous and making everything look so easy. Just then, she breaks out the guitar and shows us that she can also play it and sing to boot. As far as her life out in the southern mountains of China is concerned, she’s the ruler of the domain, but that’s not all; she produces and edits her own videos and has an online shop where you can buy all types of things from the life of Li Ziqi, also spelled Liziqi.

Beyond the gigantic body of knowledge one would need for this kind of existence, I’m enchanted by her grace and movement in every task she tackles in each five to fifteen-minute ambient adventure into rural bliss. It’s art and movie magic to sell an idea that slows the world down and offers us an enhanced peek into a version of life that might only exist in fairy tales. While I don’t feel I’m the right target market, I find this to be similar to when I was 17 years old and listening to Brian Eno for the first time as I discovered a musical alternative universe. If I had to guess how long I’d remain interested? I’d venture to say I could watch another 20 episodes before redundancy sets in, but until then, I’ll sit back, lower my heart rate, and enjoy the quiet sophistication and cinematic hand that alters reality to bring me into Li Ziqi’s imagination.

Beans – Corona

Corona Beans

It only seems fitting that our march into Beanistan begins with the bean that is the reason we are in this predicament: Corona. The origins of the corona bean begin in Mexico but it was then bred in Italy where it was crowned the king of beans. Actually, this last claim about the royalty thing is me taking creative license, yet if it were up to me, I’d call it the king. But the origin of a bean is not why I’m here, starting a series of blog posts about these vegetables. I’m here because of COVID-19 aka., the Coronavirus. You see, we can’t travel and due to the uptick in infections not only here in Arizona, but across America, we’re not going anywhere. Heck, we’re not even comfortable going to the store. I needed something else to do so I’ve created Beanistan and I’m your tour guide.

And so it is the mighty corona bean that will lead us into this pulse-inspired travel narrative. Such a monster-sized bean requires quite the effort to prepare, starting with soaking 8 ounces (225 grams) of them overnight. This morning around 8:30 I started the beans simmering until shortly before dinner, so I’d say they were on a gentle boil for about 9 hours. I tried them at 7 hours and they were still a bit mealy but after a couple more hours they were creamy and had arrived at yummy. I made a North African sauce that is like a kind of pesto, it’s called chermoula. Here’s the recipe:

1 teaspoon cumin seeds, toasted
1 teaspoon coriander seeds, toasted
1 cup cilantro
1 cup Italian parsley
1 teaspoon fresh ginger (a thin slice about the size of a quarter)
1 teaspoon fresh thyme (optional)
2 garlic cloves
½ cup olive oil
Zest from 1/2 lemon (about 1-2 tsp)
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon Aleppo chili flakes – add more for more heat
1/4 teaspoon salt

Toast seeds in a dry skillet over medium heat, stirring until fragrant and golden. Add all ingredients to a food processor and pulse until well combined, but not too smooth.

It’s that easy. We didn’t have any ginger on hand so we skipped that and don’t feel we missed a thing and can make this claim as we first tried these beans with chermoula a few weeks ago and fell in love with them. The first time we made them I started with 12 ounces of the dry beans and we ended up having enough for two days. Starting with 8 ounces it turned out to be a perfect portion for the two of us. Oh, and because we knew how amazing these relatively hard-to-find beans are, we bought another 6 pounds of them about two weeks ago bringing us up to just under 9 pounds in our pantry.

Because you’ll never guess it from the photo of our corona bean dish I thought I’d share some statistics about it. The cooked beans weighed in at 18.5 ounces (516 grams) up from 8 when they were dry. Each bean is over 1.5 inches long or 3.5cm and weighs 3 grams, for stoners: a little more than 9 cooked beans weigh as much as an ounce of weed.

Someday I’ll look back at 2020 and remember that this was the year I pivoted from writing about the aesthetics of nature and Old World churches to writing about fart-inducing legumes and the pleasures they can bring to those trying to entertain themselves during a plague.

Finding My Way To Beanistan

Map and compass

Another day into my quest to explore the world of beans and it’s turning out that planning for this is as time-consuming as making our travel plans. With 36 varieties of beans, I may as well be mapping out 36 countries we’ll be visiting. I have 18 recipes collected in a document but will likely need another 25 to 30 as there will be some more dishes with other recipes that use the same beans. I’ve found some interesting stuff but I can tell you that discovering these hidden gems is no easy feat. Google wants to deliver to the demographic of where my search originates: white old guy in the bland state of Arizona.

Have you ever searched for Chinese recipes only to get 15 suggestions on how to make that shit orange chicken from Panda Express? Well, this is just about like that. No, I don’t only want to make baked beans and navy bean soup. Nor do I want Americanized versions of recipes from other countries. So how does one search the internet when you want to break out of our borders but you don’t know what the popular bean dishes are in Cape Verde, West Africa? Well, it turns out that cachupa is seriously popular out in those islands, and in Nigeria over on the mainland, it’s ewa oloyin or Nigerian bean porridge and it sounds interesting enough to give it a try.

Can you guess where this is ultimately going? It’s crashing right into my pit of OCD. First I needed to scour websites for varieties of beans. Then I hit the map of the globe to inspire me about within which countries I want to search. Once I discover that Chileans enjoy porotos Granados I need to build a composite of what the recipe might look like in Chile as 10 of the recipes are posted by Americans and use pinto, navy, or cannellini beans when the original calls for cranberry, but getting there takes time. Then I start buying supplies like mad. Such as the nearly 20 pounds of various beans that will be arriving soon. In my shopping cart at Amazon right now I have palm oil, aji mirasol hot pepper paste from Peru, saffron, sofrito which is a paella base but will be used for something else, oloyin beans, shrimp bouillon, and ground shrimp. Regarding the ground shrimp, we already have some of this incredibly horrid smelling stuff as I use it to make Burmese salads, but I’ll need more of it for some of the African dishes I’m considering. Now I’ll have two-lifetime supplies of shrimp bouillon as what else will I use that for, and then I’ll have to scramble to figure out how to use the aji mirasol and sofrito in other dishes.

I hit buy and see that I’ll have 5 different guilt-inducing packages sent to me over the next 10 days. I can only guess that Amazon needs to ship the various items from corners of the country where a local population uses some of these ingredients, compared to Arizona that uses none of them. But it’s getting late and I need to relax and let go of exploring this red-red bean recipe from Ghana. I’m frantic now but need to go find some sleep as 4:50 will arrive no matter where I’m at on the culinary map and how late I indulge my curiosity to meet other countries via their bean dishes.

One more thing before stopping for the evening: I want a search engine where I can look for preparations of something like broccoli for example. This smart search engine will give me a list I can dig through that features the top 5 recipes from every country around the earth that uses that ingredient. Yep, that’s what I need.

Not Gonna Spill ‘Ma Beans

Rancho Gordo Beans

Oh my god, I had a wickedly brilliant idea: Seeing we can’t travel and I can’t share photos and blog posts detailing our incredible travels I’m going to switch things up a bit. Coming soon, I’m going to start writing about our experiences with BEANS! It won’t always be about beans but the first series will. This is really about starting a new category on my blog that will have a focus on food.

By the end of the week, Caroline and I should have a total of 31 35 36 varieties of beans on hand and while I can’t promise a blog entry a day for an entire month, I am committing to a thorough overview including photos of dry, cooking, and finished beans as we travel through the largest selection of beans we’ve ever collected. With hearts racing, I think I can hear you begging to be let in on just where I’ll be taking you; well, get ready as the list is long and magnificent.

From the photo you can see that I’m including; Yellow Eye, Marcella, Flageolet, Cassoulet, Moro, and Ayocote Blanco. We also already have the following on hand; Corona, Black Eyed, Kidney, Garbanzo, Peruano, White Tepary, Mung, Black, White, Broad, Lady Cream, and Lima del Papa. On the way to us as I just ordered these today; Mayflower, Horticulture, Spanish Tolosana, Marrow, Christmas Lima, Feijao, Lupini, Scarlet Runner, Yellow Indian Woman, Butterbean, Pigeon Pea, Turkey Craw, and Lina Sisco’s Bird Egg.

When you start looking for bean recipes you find little coming from China and Japan although adzuki or small red beans are common in desserts, while mung beans are used as bean sprouts and of course the soybean is ubiquitous. So I’m training my searches on places like Appalachia, Spain, Portugal, Africa, India to Pakistan, and of course South America.

For some of the recipes under consideration, it’s impossible to get the ingredients in Arizona, forcing me to order a number of items from D’Artagnan in New Jersey who specialize in gourmet meats of all kinds. Making something like a French cassoulet with saucisses de Toulouse (garlic sausage), duck confit, ventrèche (French pancetta), prosciutto, duck fat, or an African marrow bean dish that asks for merguez sausage (lamb) might leave you in the cold depending on where you live. I have a Spanish recipe lined up for the Tolosana beans that ask for Tocino which is Spanish bacon, that seems easy enough to make at home along with morcilla or blood sausage. Lucky us that a local German sausage company carries such a product but I’m afraid it might not be similar enough to the Spanish version that features a ton of paprika, oregano, and onion. There is an online shop called La Tienda that carries morcilla but they are currently sold out.

Food takes us places and if we were traveling to any of these locations from where I’ll be gathering recipes, we would certainly exercise our enthusiasm to sample the flavors that are not easy to find in the United States, aside from places like San Francisco, New York City and maybe a couple of others such as Los Angeles and Chicago.

Regarding this category that will become available on the side column under “View By Topic,” I’ll be posting recipes such as the sprouted dehydrated granola I shared some days ago or the ginger preparation for a Burmese salad I posted at the beginning of the month in addition to other recipes that languish on paper and various notes strewn about. Recently I made my first preparation of the Korean dish known as sundubu-jjigae or tofu soup, I didn’t capture anything about it as I wasn’t sure how Caroline and I would enjoy it, but it was so terrific we went out afterward to collect more ingredients to make sundubu part of our repertoire of dishes. Over the years we’ve experimented in making panipuri from India, Indo-Chinese dishes, African food, Peruvian pumpkin recipes, Mexican-inspired casseroles, not to forget mentioning all the recipes that have been handed down from German and Croatian relatives.

Update 1: I found a recipe from the Bolivian Andes based on peeled fava beans and so I ordered just that at Purcell Mountain Farms where they are listed as “Haba” beans.

Update 2: While looking for recipes this afternoon I came across some interesting stuff and found myself adding to my order which hadn’t shipped yet and Purcell Mountain Farms was able to add to. They are Cranberry, Cannellini, and Mortgage Lifter.

Update 3: No, I’m not ordering more beans yet but I did find this list of 14,000 bean varieties that the French recognize: https://localfoodconnect.org.au/community-gardening/list-of-french-bean-varieties/

Update 4: Okay so I just had to order these Aloyin beans aka Honey beans used in a Nigerian bean porridge. Sadly, I also have to order rainforest destroying palm oil. Maybe I can absolve my guilt knowing I’m not flying or driving anywhere so my footprint of destruction is relatively small right now….says the man sitting in an air-conditioned apartment in Arizona.

Fake

Image Copyright Tom Gauld

Far too many people I encounter in person or on various electronic platforms are wanting to believe that much of their reality is fake. Reality, even when manipulated by propaganda, is still your reality regardless if you believe your filter of perception allows you to peer behind the veneer of the sham. It’s not a fake reality; it is your interpretation of the time you are living in, but that doesn’t disqualify its legitimacy. The news may be weaponized to accomplish a certain goal, but so was our education, and from the first time we entered school, we were exposed to a program that was nudging us into a particular paradigm, just like the media are pushing certain agendas too. Your parents might have taught you about a tradition of holidays and religious observations they believed was best for their child’s 3-year-old mind, while others might see this brand of indoctrination as fake. None of this is wrong, though, as it’s the basis of culture that the people of a shared land have certain ideas in common. Just because humanity might still be collectively ignorant doesn’t make our culture fake or evil, but it does leave a lot of room for improvement.

Your clothes portray an image of a style that can be used to create influence or make oneself appealing in finding a mate. Those clothes don’t represent the body underneath or the mind inside your head, so in some respect, they represent a fake version of the person. A car cannot reflect the character you have or give an example of how you’ll raise children, though many will use the appeal of the car’s styling to insinuate that it somehow tells others what type of person they are. This is posturing behind a brand, tire type, and the vehicle’s color that has nothing to do with this person. It is a facade, an act of camouflage; it is fakery masquerading as meaning. The same goes for team loyalty: nobody gets more credibility because they stand behind their local sports franchise. They are being used as tools to generate lots of income for local taxes, team owners, players, marketers, clothing and shoe manufacturers. For your loyalty, you’ll be invited to join the chant of celebration and feel good about yourself and your deep connection to a favorite player. I posit that this pride is a fake manufactured commercial exercise used to grease the wheels of commerce.

We dress ourselves in the words of television; we play in the worlds of Pacman and zombies while often eschewing books. We dress in provocation in order to drag our mating rituals into the grocery store, and we pull in every bit of conspiracy nonsense to arm us in our fight against boredom when we sit down with people at dinner or in the bar so we have something that draws attention to our sad lives. We cultivate this inanity for years, becoming caricatures of reasonable people, and then blame science, truth, and facts for being hostile to our deranged view of the world. When people live in a cartoon world formed by Walter White and Clay Morrow or play in a universe with Alex Mason and then turn to Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity with a dessert of Honey Boo Boo and the Kardashians before exclaiming they own some kind of insight on deciphering the larger picture of reality, I’m left aghast that we are supposed to take any of this seriously.

When we as a nation run out of artifice to decorate ourselves with, we turn to intellectual cultural cannibalism. Through all the banality and anger we consume, we intuitively understand there’s nothing deeper to explore inside our own souls, and so we must find a new enemy. We are making ourselves the enemy; we are the other, the foreigner; we become the hated opposition; we are daring to be sociopaths. From the very shores of America, we are finding an adversary as we flail about trying to establish another bogeyman. The United States tried to maintain this type of conflict in our war against communism and leftists for 50 years after World War II. When that strategy lost its fangs, we turned against the Muslims. As that ran its course, we started throwing all manner of things at the wall to see what would stick. Hillary is the problem, George Soros is the evilest, DACA recipients and the invading horde of Mexicans are the root cause of all of our problems; wait, it’s the Mainstream Media Elites with Fake News, or is it Obamagate? Maybe the enemy is hiding in the swamp of Washington D.C., or could it be the radicals of Antifa? Ah, COVID-19 is our new global enemy, or could it be aliens from another universe, so we’d better get building a Space Force for future combat? No, no, no, the Deep State, er, um, I mean the Jews, or is it Jeff Bezos ripping off the Post Office that’s the problem? I know, it all started with fake moon landings, vaccines that poisoned us, and the Liberal University System, right? This week, let’s blame #BlackLivesMatter, and next week if COVID gets out of hand, let’s blame infected Antifa agents working for Soros and Hillary for infiltrating a political rally in Tulsa during the fake “Plandemic.”

Our enemies are NOT any of these external fake issues; our enemy is nobody else but ourselves. This dwelling in the swamp of ignorance so we may be titillated by our own superior “knowledge” of being part of the enlightened who see the real truth as a caustic elixir causing madness in society, hungry for hate. “Somebody or something else outside of me is responsible for my unhappiness and fear; there’s no way that it could be the way I’m choosing to see reality,” could be a popular refrain.

This sad and tragic juncture where humanity stands after having invented the greatest means of knowledge distribution ever created must be attributed to the hangover wrought from our diet of spoonfed nonsense that a previous generation seemingly needed. Intellectual junk food is not a viable alternative to a rigorous diet of the exploration of the knowledge that’s been shared by our ancestors and contemporaries who’ve made the investment in trying to understand the complexities of how things work.

At war now with ourselves and those in our proximity, we become social justice warriors railing against systems of intelligence instead of fighting the real enemy called greed and deep financial power. Maybe, just maybe, the artifice of control is starting to crack, but populism aligned with anti-intellectualism will lead to a kind of flash mob rule where the angriest faction takes control of a corner or a neighborhood. Humanity has always required leaders, mentors, teachers, mothers, fathers, or shamans to help guide the group. Headless and mindless, we become a school of fish swimming in circles, waiting for the sharks to feast on those at the periphery. We are starting to act like herring, and I’m afraid that the group dynamic propagated by temporary fads led by influencers hungry to move on to the next popular subject is only adding to the rounding up of others wanting to join a larger school to amplify the strength of herd stupidity.

I’m not saying that individuals coming together to foment change is a bad thing; it is the ONLY thing that can break the chains of subservience to economic, social, educational, law enforcement, and other unfair means of control. Protest is the best way for a populace to exercise its own power to build new structures. The caveat is that it is still up to the individual and, subsequently, mentors of all forms to make it imperative for the person to pick up the mantle of learning. Critical thinking and cooperation have carried us Americans far, but still, there is much room for us to do better.

Change of Plan

Meal Plan

On another fast this week, day three, as a matter of fact. No, it is not a water fast; it’s the modified fasting diet called Prolon. I’ve done it before with great results in helping normalize my blood glucose and lose weight. But there’s a small problem.

By the time I finish the fast I’m dreaming about what my first culinary indulgence is going to be. As a matter of fact, I’m deeply craving it once I figure out what it’ll be. This is when my efforts are about to go off the rails, and what I have accomplished is tossed to the side. While I’m down over 20 pounds since I started these fasts, I should be down another 18 except I keep bouncing back like a yo-yo. The exhilarating thrill of food exploration following the fast has me diving into a path where my stomach needs a little bit of everything in order to find satiety. This unhealthy mentality that somehow a magic combination of particular food choices is going to satisfy having been deprived for so long is a serious bout of idiocy. So, this time, I’m doing things a little bit differently.

I’m going to try being conscientious about my choices, and just as I have very limited choices on this week of fasting, I hope I’ll be able to restrict myself to a fixed diet where I have to stick to what’s on the plan instead of giving into what I desire and following the spontaneity script I know so well. I’ll employ the same thinking that gets me through the week, where my caloric intake is restricted to about 800 calories a day, which comes mainly from two 8oz portions of soup.

I’ve worked out a meal plan for the first 19 days of what Caroline and I will be eating following this fast. Well, Caroline will continue skipping breakfasts five days a week as she’s been doing her own fast regimen of not eating for 18 hours and then getting lunch and dinner between 12:00 and 6:00 p.m. She makes an exception on weekends when I make a scrambled egg fry with whatever random things I can toss in to clear stuff out of the fridge. While it’s taken me a long time to come around to portion control, I’m finally able to satisfy myself with a 6-8oz piece of meat instead of the 16-28oz behemoth steaks I was eating 20 years ago. I’ve also mostly given up eating on a large plate as when it’s mostly empty, I feel cheated, so we now use 8-inch plates or a bowl that holds about eight fluid ounces worth of food.

I believe this is only now possible after becoming so accustomed to eating at home, as we have for the last 95 days. While we could return to restaurants, I do not want to be in an enclosed space with others who might be sick with COVID and not know it yet. Another effect of this self-isolation is that we appreciate the amount of money we are saving from not eating out 2 or 3 times a week. For example on a typical day for breakfast, my granola and soy milk costs $2.00. Lunch of pork chops and butternut squash costs around $4.00 per person. Dinner can cost between $3.50 each for Corona beans with chermoula to about $7.00 each for spaghetti squash with arrabbiata sauce and some ground beef. We’ll spend around $50 for two dishes from a nearby Italian place with iced teas and tip or maybe only $40 at a Mexican joint, but if we were spending $120 a week on three meals at restaurants, well, that’s about what we’d spend on 30 meals at home. The value equation of convenience and indulgence grows increasingly more difficult to convince me that eating out is any kind of bargain at all. Finally, me being a numbers guy, if we have a net savings of about $90 a week by not eating out, that’s nearly $5,000 a year we can use on hobbies and travel.

Why is any of this rather mundane subject being posted here on my blog anyway? I needed to make this note to myself, so my focus was tasked today with not only making this meal plan but also trying to sear into my mind that this will be part of trying to get below 200 pounds; I’m only about 18 pounds away. I tend to remember things better after committing them to paper, be it the electronic or dead trees type. There’s another reason, too: someday in the future, as some A.I. is looking back at our entry into the digital age, there just might be some nuggets of perspective that will help others understand a few more details of who we were.