The FAKE MEDIA lead by Drudge Report appears to be collaborating with CNN. How Matt Drudge came to this point in his illustrious career is baffling, but how else can anyone explain why he’s lying about how many Americans can get infected by a bug that’s no more dangerous than the normal flu? And why would anyone talk about the Fed pumping a TRILLION dollars into a market that should have the confidence that Donald Trump will turn this around in a day or two? When Obama gave $80 billion to the automobile industry there was outrage and now there’s talk about having to bail out the airlines and possibly a whole host of industries that allegedly will suffer due to a fake virus. Jeez, it was just on February 28th at a campaign rally in South Carolina that our President inferred that COVID-19 was part of a Democratic hoax and now he’s on the verge of maybe spending TRILLIONS on bailouts? Either I’m being betrayed or fake news strikes again.

First America was frightened into buying ALL the surgical masks and respirators before the media told us to hoard all the toilet paper. Then we cleaned the shelves of hand sanitizer after they gave us new instructions, followed by needing to buy up paper towels, rubber gloves, cough meds, cleaning supplies, bottled water, and some other stuff I’m losing track of. Seriously, how can any of us remember what we’re doing when the fear-mongering panic-inducing fake media tells us fake things that have real consequences? Take today, I was catching some subliminal messaging going on that was being broadcast by MSNBC or maybe even recently deceased CNN mouthpiece, Bobby Batista, because that’s how liberal propaganda is done, and it said to go out and buy all the chicken. I was able to resist the pressure of their brainwashing tactics but had to witness for myself how many sheeple listened to those socialist tools. Sure enough, ALL the chicken is now gone. I was at Costco when I took this picture and obviously the fresh chicken would be gone because that’s what those yuppy, Gen Z, Millennial, hipster freaks eat with their quinoa and avocados, but then to my amazement over at the frozen food area where I was certain good old Republican Americans were able to exercise some self-control and not give in to the media tripe, ALL the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets and frozen pizzas were gone too. So either the liberals bought up our supplies to make us look bad or some of the MAGA faithful are growing weak from the constant attacks on our beloved President.

Needing to restore my faith in my fellow white Republican brothers and sisters I left for a local grocery store called Fry’s that is located in a lower-income neighborhood and was happy to see that the Mexicans bought up all the dried rice and beans, dumb asses. Tomorrow I’ll head over to Whole Foods and report back if those whack jobs are sold out of wild-caught salmon, wheatgrass, and organic all-natural pompous bullshit.

#SARCASM!