The people of our planet range from barely human murderers to artists and inventors. We represent the gamut of what is possible in our species, from great to horrendous and everything in between. I once entertained idealistic thoughts that we were ascending in our intellectual evolution toward something profound, but here I am, checking that off as possibly a silly thought. True, I’ve always felt the majority of humanity followed a herd instinct, but I’d never considered that a vast number of people may not ever be able to embrace improving their situation.
When I was young I was restless and yearning to know and see more; I thought this was a basic human instinct. Maybe it was dormant in others, but I was sure it wasn’t something unique in me. Most of who and what I am are attributes shared with the rest of the animal kingdom, such as sleeping, eating, procreating, defecating, looking for shelter, and remaining on the lookout for danger. Our ability to communicate, enhanced by curiosity, is what distinguishes us from animals – or so I thought. Many of the animals in my species are apparently happy to live passive lives that afford them some creature comforts, but curiosity and the progress that comes from an exploration of the internal dialog are of no interest to them.
How does this change who I am or want to be? A part of my life path has been trying to discover what it is that nudges people to awaken their curiosity so their paths might grow more magnificent. If I want to believe I already have some of those rare qualities and my goal was to kickstart that instinct in those who likely do not desire such a thing in their lives, then why continue hoping there might be a key that will open that door for them?
I do not have an answer, as I’m at a crossroads. I fear that I am accepting pessimism and futility, which then makes me question if I’m being co-opted by the American zeitgeist. I cannot let go of optimism as it has been my constant companion for nearly 30 of my 55 years, and I believe I have enjoyed life all the more because of it.