I’m not happy that today is Earth Day. The idea that only one day a year should be singled out as being special for recognition that the Earth deserves acknowledgment. We do that for dead deities, magic creatures, mythical entities, celebrations of conquering idiots, and our pointless birthdays. The people of Earth spend over $1 trillion on Christmas to celebrate giving gifts for some vague tradition represented by some creeper fuck in a red suit. Earth Day will see humanity simply consume away with all of the abandon of a swarm of locust clearing a field of the last remaining morsels on some random summer day. I wonder if they call that Earth Day too?

Let’s get real, Greta Thunberg cares more and has done more than 500 million people in my age group. How is it a 16-year-old Swedish girl is able to shoulder a greater responsibility to Earth than billions of us stupid locusts who are scouring the globe for every last morsel in our quest to be so unsustainable that we are the most likely cause of the 6th Great Extinction?

We are a collective of populist troglodytes oblivious to our potential and the wonderment this planet delivers to us every day. Every day should be Earth Day, but that would require an education where compassion and empathy are hallmarks of greatness instead of putting on a pedestal the destroyers of life and environment known as corporate titans, who through their earnings are considered gods and kings. Give me a break. We are a species that shows amazing potential, but on the whole, we are the scourge of the Earth. If I were an animal, insect, or plant I’d be celebrating Rid The Earth of Humans Day.