Tired of thoughts, thinking, decisions, and responsibility I snuck away this afternoon for some electroshock therapy to wash my brain of myself so I could be a more likable, non-aggressive, and a know-nothing allowing me to enjoy TV, professional sports, plastic chest enhancers, blonde highlights, white-framed sunglasses with gold trim, tramp stamps, pierced lips, McDonald’s, George Bush, war, blind consumption, bass from other peoples cars, and two or three other things that I can’t remember now because of fried neural connections no longer working – I think, well I don’t but I guess, maybe, probably.

A sleep study is the reason for the wiring, you hopeful, wishful John haters. I will still be a know-it-all, aggressive, unlikeable curmudgeon, just a well-rested one after this I hope.