This is my aunt Jean Knezetic, whom I have not seen in almost 24 years. She and her daughter (my cousin) Nancy, whom I had met last about that same time, too, came to Santa Barbara to help celebrate the 60th anniversary of my uncle Woody and Aunt Ann. Aunt Jean was married to my aunt Ann’s older brother Frank, who passed away at age 80 just five years ago. Nancy also brought her two wonderful kids, Theresa, aged 16, and Daniel, aged 7, for the festivities.

My cousin Nancy Knezetic was my co-conspirator in planning and surprising my aunt and uncle on their anniversary. I was surprised, too. After not having a word of communication with my cousin in 24 years, I re-met a family member who has grown up to have two great children, a sense of adventure, and a caring for a family not often seen anymore. I can only imagine her husband Sam is as great a guy as reflected in her happiness and the kids’ wellbeing. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the opportunity to meet him on this visit as work stood in the way, but we look forward to visiting them in their California desert home soon.

I think I neglected to know my family for a long time, too long. Such is the damage a parent can cause when the brutality that emerges from their own upbringing leaves a lot of harm in its wake. I missed so much during the years I needed to keep my distance while trying to find my own happiness. Now, as I reflect on these moments when I’m so much older in 2023, I can only cherish what I finally got and smile at those I never really knew as an adult.